[bits619]

I figure i don't have much time to search for the most appropriate old thread to bump up, but wanted to post this link to an article i found recently. I mean for it to go along with the 'to have a baby or not' threads that usually come up. One of the common complaints I've read from the no-kid camp is that it's so difficult to find a doctor willing to sterilize a young, child-less/child-free woman. I thought this was a well written article, interesting too, echoing that statement.

http://www.slate.com/articles/double...erilized_.html

[normandy_shores]

warning: I'm childfree, though not trying to be offensive of course.

Thanks for sharing the article...

This stuff is so frustrating. As somebody who is CF, let me put "oh you'll change your mind" in perspective. When someone is pregnant, how rude and assuming would it be to say "oh, you'll change your mind?"?

I do know somebody only a few hours from me, who at 26 got referred to a doc who (as I understand) didn't even question her decision, just went over the medical details. "Oh, you don't want kids? Here's your surgery date". Besides that, I know of very few positive please-sterilize-me-i'm-nulliparous stories. I'm baffled that doctors will take $$$$ for fertility treatments until people can no longer support the kids or it's mentally unhealthy for the would-be parents to continue (as if infertility/IVF isn't emotionally taxing enough to begin with) but a person making the opposite decision isn't respected.

The same way many women (and men) have known from the time they were little (Even pre-childbearing age), I've known since I was little that I do. not. want. kids.

I've had other women tell me I'm less of a woman.
I've had people say I shouldn't get married, or why would I ever get married, if I don't want kids.

...not to mention to barrage of attacks on my character, simply for wanting a different lifestyle ....if those attacks were based on any number of things, maybe they'd have some merit!... maybe

I was recently referred for some pre cancerous cells and some lucky bastard gets to play with lasers on my cervix (pew pew!). I asked if at the same time I could be referred to a GYN who would consider sterilization. I was given the whole round of "what does your partner think?" (Excuse me, *I* make the choices on my body).. and "what if you end up with a new partner and he wants children?" (then he's not the right partner for me, is he?).

I wish there was some way to convey that one person's lifestyle choice to NOT have kids isn't a threat to others who DO have kids, and that it's a personal decision and as such, none of anybody else's business.

I never felt like something was wrong with me (I kind of always had the attitude that I am who I am and I like me and anyone else can just eff off, because at the end of the day I have to live with myself, not you!), but it wasn't until the internet blew up with CFness that I realized I wasn't alone. Until just the last 5 years, I thought I was the only person ever who didn't want kids. I'm ecstatic to see that more people are getting more and more comfortable in making this choice and speaking about it.

Thanks again for sharing this -- any awareness is good