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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May. 4, 2012
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    33

    Question Trainer is relocating, what to do?

    My trainer, whom i have been with for at least 6 years, is packing up and moving to a larger facility up north. The barn she is at now is only 20 mins from my house, but the new barn will be about a 1.5 hr trip. I school my horse by myself 6 days a week and show with her once a month. I will be attending college this year, so i am worried about being able to travel that far with that busy schedule. There are numerous BNT trainers in my area within 20 mins from my house but they are more expensive than my current situation. Think $450/month for board at current place and $750/month at BNTs.

    Does anyone have any advice? Should i stay with my trainer and try to fit in barn time in my busy schedule? Or move to a different barn thats closer?
    Last edited by BigBayHunter9272; Jul. 19, 2012 at 04:20 PM.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov. 25, 2004
    Location
    Greenville, SC
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    923

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBayHunter9272 View Post
    My trainer, whom i have been with for at least 6 years, is packing up and moving to a larger facility up north. The barn she is at now is only 20 mins from my house, but the new barn will be about a 1.5 hr trip. I school my horse by myself 6 days a week and show with her once a month. I will be attending college this year, so i am worried about being able to travel that far with that busy schedule. There are numerous BNT trainers in my area within 20 mins from my house but they are more expensive than my current situation. Think $450/month for board at current place and $750/month at BNTs.

    Does anyone have any advice? Should i stay with my trainer and try to fit in barn time in my busy schedule? Or move to a different barn thats closer?
    Why are you not able to stay at your current barn when your trainer leaves? Does she own the facility and is selling to someone else that will come in and raise the board? Or does she just run her operation out of a barn owned by someone else?

    Or is it absolutely necessary for you to ride with a BNT and board with them because you're attending college and won't ride nearly as frequently?

    I'm assuming by you saying you school your horse by yourself 6 days a week means that you lesson with your trainer once a week.
    Lucy (Precious Star) - 1994 TB mare; happily reunited with her colt Touch the Stars



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct. 26, 2007
    Location
    San Jose, Ca
    Posts
    5,116

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    If you only ride with her one day a week, and show once a month, could you haul in and take your weekely lesson?

    1.5 hours is too far to travel daily. Think about all of the extra gas / car expense as well.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2011
    Location
    Southern Pines, NC
    Posts
    2,336

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    Quote Originally Posted by Appsolute View Post
    If you only ride with her one day a week, and show once a month, could you haul in and take your weekely lesson?

    1.5 hours is too far to travel daily. Think about all of the extra gas / car expense as well.
    So board would be up by about $300 if you switched barns when your trainer moves. If you stayed with her, you'd probably be spending about $300 or more on gas and wear and tear on your car. Just something to keep in mind.

    Personally, I'd consider a trainer in the area who's good and I respect, or even ask current trainer for recommendations.
    I've heard there's more to life than an FEI tent and hotel rooms, so I'm trying it.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    May. 4, 2012
    Posts
    33

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    Yes my trainer currently runs her program in a barn leased from the owner. I could haul in, but i do not have a truck or a trailer.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun. 30, 2009
    Posts
    6,576

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBayHunter9272 View Post
    My trainer, whom i have been with for at least 6 years, is packing up and moving to a larger facility up north. The barn she is at now is only 20 mins from my house, but the new barn will be about a 1.5 hr trip. I school my horse by myself 6 days a week and show with her once a month. I will be attending college this year, so i am worried about being able to travel that far with that busy schedule. .
    1.5 hr round trip? if each way, don't even consider it!

    Ask her for suggestions on available trainers & barns - she'll likley have a good idea who will suit both you & your horse



  7. #7
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    May. 4, 2012
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    Thank you for all of your advice! The drive would be 1.5 hrs each way... i am worried if i do not go with her that she will be mad, and i dont want to ruin our friendship, since i have known her for so long. We are a smallish barn and i have seen a few customers leave before and she views them as the devil once they are gone...



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun. 12, 2007
    Location
    Westchester County, NY
    Posts
    5,786

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    Do not let fear of the trainer dictate what you do here. Tell her how much you have valued her help, buy her a present, and wish her well. Any rational person will understand that you can't drive that far on a daily basis.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb. 5, 2007
    Location
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Posts
    1,235

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBayHunter9272 View Post
    Thank you for all of your advice! The drive would be 1.5 hrs each way... i am worried if i do not go with her that she will be mad, and i dont want to ruin our friendship, since i have known her for so long. We are a smallish barn and i have seen a few customers leave before and she views them as the devil once they are gone...
    She is leaving you, not the other way around. Why would she be mad that you would not go with her? If she was a true friend, she would not be mad and would probably help you find a suitable trainer. If she is petty and vindictive, she wasn't much of a friend to begin with.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2010
    Location
    Westford, Massachusetts
    Posts
    3,655

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBayHunter9272 View Post
    Thank you for all of your advice! The drive would be 1.5 hrs each way... i am worried if i do not go with her that she will be mad, and i dont want to ruin our friendship, since i have known her for so long. We are a smallish barn and i have seen a few customers leave before and she views them as the devil once they are gone...
    Ummmm...if she would be angry if you didn't give up an hour and a half a day and $300 a month to follow her...there IS NO friendship to ruin. A friend will want what's best for you and want you to be happy...they don't play petty loyalty games at your expense.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct. 26, 2007
    Location
    San Jose, Ca
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    5,116

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBayHunter9272 View Post
    Thank you for all of your advice! The drive would be 1.5 hrs each way... i am worried if i do not go with her that she will be mad, and i dont want to ruin our friendship, since i have known her for so long. We are a smallish barn and i have seen a few customers leave before and she views them as the devil once they are gone...
    Well, that is certainly not a good reason to waste 3 hours a day, and $350+ a month in a car.

    Look for something local. She is leaving, and the distance is just not reasonable.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun. 29, 2004
    Posts
    10,531

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    She's the one who is leaving you, why should she get mad if you don't follow? That's not a very mature attitude on her part. Find someone else who is local to you rather than waste the time, gas and money to travel 3+ hours for a lesson.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan. 13, 2011
    Posts
    233

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    You can either move with her or find another trainer...Simple!!!



  14. #14
    Join Date
    May. 4, 2012
    Posts
    33

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    All of you make very good points, thank you for your input! I have a month or two to decide, so who knows what i will decide. I agree that she can be vindictive and unprofessional but i am rarely on the receiving end of this attitude. Maybe it is time to move on?



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb. 9, 2008
    Location
    Alabama
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    611

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBayHunter9272 View Post
    All of you make very good points, thank you for your input! I have a month or two to decide, so who knows what i will decide. I agree that she can be vindictive and unprofessional but i am rarely on the receiving end of this attitude. Maybe it is time to move on?
    You are "rarely" on the receiving end of this attitude?? You should never have to be on the receiving end of this attitude . It sounds like maybe it's time to move on. Is there any way you could have a private conversation with the barn owner and see if they are planning on bringing a new trainer in when your trainer leaves? Who knows, they may have someone fabulous in mind that would be a great match for you and your horse. Personally I would not leave my horse in the care of anyone I described as vindictive and unprofessional especially when they were 1.5 hours away. I'd see about staying at current barn or look at other barns in the area. Perhaps one of the other barns would allow you to work off a bit of board to make it more financially feasible for you. Good luck to you!!



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Apr. 24, 2002
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    796

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    Is your college close to your present barn? That would make a difference as you now are riding 6 days a week and lessoning one day. If your college is close, I would see about continuing to board at the current barn - maybe a new trainer would be moving in and maybe not but your horse is settled and it is close for you. With college you may not have as much time to show and if you are able to show you would probably be able to stable with your current trainer and find an independent shipper to transport your horse and tack box, etc. Maybe not the best solution but as someone said maybe a new trainer will be moving into your barn and you can take some lessons from the new person and still show with the old trainer. Just a thought.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jun. 17, 2011
    Posts
    81

    Default trainers

    I've learned the hard way that trainers need to be your business partners, not your friends. If it works for you to travel 3 hours each day, then do it. If it doesn't work for you then don't. It should be a business decision and that it all.

    I get being loyal and stayed with our last trainer way too long to the detriment of my child. It will never happen again. I am a paying client and should be treated with respect.

    The trainer is doing what is best for her business-wise and moving. You need to do what is best for you business-wise and do it.

    Take the high road, let her know what your decision is. You don't owe her any explanation other than you can't do the distance with your studies. (if that is the route you go).

    If she chooses to be vindictive and hateful then simply ignore it. If people ask why you left, they will be satisified with the distance excuse and your trainer will be shown in the light as being unprofessional.

    You need to watch out for yourself. No one else will.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jun. 3, 2010
    Posts
    370

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBayHunter9272 View Post
    Thank you for all of your advice! The drive would be 1.5 hrs each way... i am worried if i do not go with her that she will be mad, and i dont want to ruin our friendship, since i have known her for so long. We are a smallish barn and i have seen a few customers leave before and she views them as the devil once they are gone...
    She would have zero right to be upset with you for not staying with her. Its not like she is going across the street. Im sure she will be understanding.

    If i were in your situation, I would find a new trainer. If i had a truck and trailer and LOVED my trainer, I would make it happen to continue lessoning and showing with said trainer but i would board somewhere local.after reading that she hasn't been the most professional, and you even used the word vindictive, i would move on completely.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2008
    Location
    now in KCMO, and plan to stay there
    Posts
    3,022

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBayHunter9272 View Post
    Thank you for all of your advice! The drive would be 1.5 hrs each way... i am worried if i do not go with her that she will be mad, and i dont want to ruin our friendship, since i have known her for so long. We are a smallish barn and i have seen a few customers leave before and she views them as the devil once they are gone...
    Run do not walk away from someone with such a warped and toxic personality. You do not owe her anything, and she has no right to hold any grudge against you if you do not find it feasible to move also. She chose to move, but unless you are married to each other, there is no reason at all for either of you to believe that you also must move. Sheesh.

    If you are schooling your horse yourself so much and only occasionally taking a lesson, keep your horse closer to home, save the money, and just travel to her place once in awhile if you feel the need, and ride whatever horse she has available for you to ride. Riding other horses is very educational, by the way, more so than just riding your own.
    Last edited by sdlbredfan; Jul. 17, 2012 at 11:04 PM. Reason: typos
    Jeanie
    RIP Sasha, best dog ever, pictured shortly before she died, Death either by euthanasia or natural causes is only the end of the animal inhabiting its body; I believe the spirit lives on.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun. 30, 2008
    Location
    at work and the barn...middle of nowhere PA
    Posts
    247

    Default

    Trainer's unprofessional attitude aside, as someone who currently travels 1.5 hours each way to get to the barn, I consider it way too far. I Actually like driving, so when this barn came up as my ONLY option, I thought "sure, no problem, why not?", but I can tell you, it's practically impossible to get things done when you have to travel that far to get to the barn. Unless you are completely bonkers, you will NOT want to drive there more than 4 days a week, and if you're not bonkers, try going a few days in a row, and you will be! If I go to the barn, I can do 1 other thing that day. One. I can work and go to the barn, but I can never go to work, the barn, AND the grocery store all in 1 day. I get out of work at 4, the best I can get home is 9:30. It's hard, exhausting, and makes me want to ride less. Pony up for the BNT or wait and see if someone good comes to your current barn, but, in the name of all things good and holy, don't saddle yourself with a 3+ hour drive, its murder on you and your car.

    End rant, I just WISH I had local BNTs to go to, but theres nothing near here, so I HAVE to drive. I just keep reminding myself "10 months until I move! 10 months until I move!" LOL!!!!

    Good luck!!!



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