The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 31
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2009
    Posts
    34

    Default Crying at work

    Anyone one ever have crying meldowns at work? It doesn't happen very often but when it does it's so embaressing.
    Since I went on medication a little over a year ago my mood and anxiety have been way better but when stressful situations come up everything just kind of bubbles over.

    Yesterday was month-end at work for my deptartment. Month-end usually means a very long day. Well this turned to a longer day than usual (Arrived at 9am left at 2am). My frustration kept growing throughout the day as I kept coming to roadblocks in being able to do what i needed to finish the month due to waiting for feed back from other areas and waiting for green lights to begin certain activities. Around 11 or 12 my frustration got to be too much. I started getting a headache, feeling ill, had a muscle spasm pain in my chest and getting cold chills (that could have just been the AC though). And then the water works started. Thankfully I managed to leave our area before (I think) anyone noticed the tears so I could calm down. But grr so frustrating. Finally left at 2 am and did the smart thing actually put myself first a said i was staying home today.

    Anyone else ever experience this?



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 26, 2006
    Posts
    471

    Default

    Yep. Been there, done that, hid the red eyes and runny nose from my co-workers.

    Sorry you had a rough day - but don't feel awful about it - it happens sometimes. Especially on a day like you described. I think you did the best you could - you got away before the meltdown happened, and you finished your work.

    The fact that your workplace demanded a 17 (!) hour work day is really ridiculous. You are smart to take a day off. Re-center, catch a break, and you'll feel tons better.



  3. #3

    Default

    I rarely cry when I'm sad.

    When I'm angry, the tears come. I guess that's what keeps me from exploding and screaming.

    But yeah, I've done it, I've been embarrassed by it, but I just moved on.
    http://www.tbhsa.com/index.html

    Originally Posted by JSwan
    I love feral children. They taste like chicken.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2010
    Location
    Earlysville, Virginia
    Posts
    3,242

    Default

    Oh yes. But refer to my quitting your job thread. I HATE my job. Even when posting here about my job, or talking to friends about it, I cry.

    However, No one at work has EVER seen me cry. I try very hard to cover it up or go to the bathroom if I need a moment. My direct supervisor has cried at least 5 times since I started 11 months ago. One of the times was when she was in a meeting, and she made a big scene running out, sobbing and crying. I find it rather unprofessional, and everyone in the office felt awkward.

    However, she also cried when one of my coworkers made a mistake and she was upset about her boss getting mad. Not legit. She was BAWLING. In our office, you can hear everything. To me, thats not a sign of a good leader.

    You working 17 hours and needing to cry? Um...more legit. I would want to cry if I spent more than 12 hours at my miserable job...
    Charlie Brown (1994 bay TB X gelding)
    White Star (2004 grey TB gelding)

    Mystical Moment, 1977-2010.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2005
    Posts
    2,805

    Default

    I work with a crier. What seems to work best for her is to take a few minutes of "her" time. And you did the right thing if you were there till 2AM by staying home today.
    It's a uterus, not a clown car. - Sayyedati



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep. 1, 2006
    Posts
    2,284

    Default

    I've had only a few meltdowns at work, thank goodness, 'cause I'm an ugly crier. Once was the first time someone truly screamed at me over the phone, once was when I was left with a major task I couldn't handle on a day that was far too stressful, and the last was when one of my drivers was in a crisis situation and all I could do was listen helplessly over the radio.

    In all these events, I held it together just long enough to get through the issue, excuse myself, run to the garage, and sob my little heart out. I felt like an idiot, but what can ya do? It happens!

    You're definitely not alone! (And poo on them for making you work so long. Month end or not, that's miserable.)



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan. 17, 2008
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,957

    Default

    Oh yeah. Senior management to boot , cried in front of a newer employee tithe other day. This would not happen if I were jacked up on Zoloft as usual, and not 35 weeks pregnant. Which I told him (I said "this does not happen when I'm not pregnant. I normally have no feelings"). He looked frightened and concerned.



  8. #8

    Default

    I'm not sure but the people facing this condition may be suffering from
    depression. But depression is a little word to describe this problem.
    You have to build up new relations. If you humans are not suitable for you,
    have some pets and dogs will share their love with you.
    pomeranian diet
    Last edited by Bernard89; Jul. 7, 2012 at 06:12 AM.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2006
    Location
    Jefferson, OR
    Posts
    799

    Default

    I can't. I am a surgical scrub tech, and if I cried at work, I would get my a$$ kicked directly out of the O.R. Do not pass "Go." Do not collect $200. And maybe i'd never get to scrub for that surgeon again.

    There's no crying in the O.R.

    Everyone in that room (unconscious patient included) expects everyone else to keep it together. And I've scrubbed some truly heart-wrenching cases. I always tell myself I can go home and cry later. Usually by the time I get home I'm either too tired or I'm over it.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug. 17, 2004
    Location
    Rixeyville, VA
    Posts
    6,456

    Default

    Personally, I would think that management has a serious issue if staff has to work a 17-hour day at the end of each month. The OP suggests that happens every month, but why? Why does management want tired, stressed out workers? Sounds like they need to resolve this problem.
    Where Norwegian Fjords Rule
    http://www.ironwood-farm.com



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug. 25, 2008
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,003

    Default

    I have cried before and it reflected badly on me, too. I was passed over for a job once because I didn't submit the online paperwork (it was a stupid matter - we were implementing a new system, they HAD all the paperwork, but I was supposed to upload it - I couldn't upload one item because I didn't have it - they did, so I lost the job). I already worked for the university in another capacity, and sat in someone's office that I THOUGHT was sympathetic, and cried. Well, she told the supervisor (kind of in an "isn't there anyway we can fix this?" type of trying to be helpful mode) and the supervisor brought it up in a really nasty way in a meeting. FORTUNATELY the department chair, who has always liked me, piped up and said that he would cry, too, if that happened to him, and I got a better position in a different department with a MUCH better supervisor, but I sure learned a valuable lesson with that one.

    Number one, I will never cry TO anyone again. Number two, if I cry at work again, and I'm sure I will, I will go to a bathroom that is NOT in our building (we have a HUGE campus) and will let loose where no one knows me. Quietly. Of course now I have my own office and can cry in peace if I need to.

    And paragon is right - poo on them for putting you in this situation. Make sure to eat right and recharge yourself, and I hope you feel better.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2007
    Posts
    9,009

    Default

    I once did it, in closing argument, with tv cameras rolling. Talk about being embarrassed. It was a baby-killing case, but I'd tried those before without crying, so I don't know why I did it. So there I was on the 6 o'clock Atlanta news, crying during closing argument With Monica leading off with "a prosecutor breaks down in closing.".

    I don't cry during animal operations or during all my other trials, and when I stop to help people or animals in wrecks. As others have said, you have to hold it together in public situations, no matter what is happening.

    I always cry AFTER I have to hold a horse or dog or cat to be put down, but not during and never during an emergency.

    It's always bothered me that we women get flamed for crying. I do like watching the tv show about the bosses who go undercover, because most of those men in power then show their emotions. And cry on tv.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul. 30, 2005
    Location
    England
    Posts
    10,475

    Default

    I've never cried at work, but I have been close a few times. And I -have- come home from work and cried. That was actually a factor in me deciding to leave a job.

    I think a 17 hour work day is enough to make anyone cry. What do you do?

    I work in sales and I've never worked that long, baring a huge crisis.
    Horse Show Names Free name website with over 6200 names. Want to add? PM me!



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct. 28, 2007
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    4,022

    Default

    I don't see crying as a fault, but as the body opening a release valve, like having to pee really badly when you're nervous - stress relief.
    Last week my boss (male) cried in front of his department (17 guys plus me).
    I've cried at work but can't remember it embarrassing me.
    It's either over frustration, anger, body stress and sometimes over grief. But I let it go because it's just one part of me.

    Of course, I'm talking about a certain class of crying. Crying over the sudden loss due to death is a completely different thing, as is crying due to medical conditions (depression etc).



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Apr. 28, 2008
    Posts
    7,209

    Default

    It happens, OP. you did just right going to the bathroom and getting yourself back under control.

    I've cried at work, but I try to do it alone, in my office, with the door shut and before or after my meeting. Usually after because once I get started it is easier to turn on the faucet. Or if I need to vent (I'm an angry crier too, MyGiantPony), with a good and reliable office friend, not a supervisor -- the kind that comes to your office to cry when it's her turn in the pressure cooker.

    The only time I cried in front of my supervisor was when I had a death in the family and he happened to be there when I found out. He didn't hold that one against me but had a "no criers" policy for junior attorneys on his team. I did see a few watering pot episodes at my firms and I've never seen so many middle-aged men squirming in their chairs.

    I do think it is a total double standard. I've seen a few older partners get teary about pro bono cases during presentations and they are lauded for their compassion. If women get teary we are considered histrionic, unstable, and to be avoided at all costs. Annoying but there it is.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Mar. 4, 2004
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    3,963

    Default

    Not at work. I also cry mainly when angry, not sad. So a couple of times I've held it together all day and then cried my eyes out in the car on the drive home. I hate crying.
    Caitlin
    *OMGiH I Loff my Mare* and *My Saddlebred Can Do Anything Your Horse Can Do*
    http://community.webshots.com/user/redmare01



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Aug. 22, 2000
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    2,348

    Default

    Another angry/frustrated crier here. I think it is more common in women to think they have control and then have it bubble out as tears. Men seem to resort to physical and verbal outlets sooner (more acceptable for men or just the way we are?) and dont seem to end up with angry tears.
    Sad tears are different. I have seen some of this with coworkers. As long as it is perceived that there is something to cry about and it rarely happens, it doesnt seem to be held against them. I am talking about tears, not sobbing wailing etc, unless some truely horrible news was just given. But somebody seen as a crier over every sad story who allows it to interfere with work loses all respect (and sometimes their job)

    I managed to go many years without crying on the job. Did animal cruelty investigations, dealt with irrational bosses and public. Never broke down on the job though I sometimes allowed myself a cry at home. Then a couple of years ago I lost it in front of my boss. My mom was dying of cancer and my dad with Alzheimers was having trouble coping. I was travelling 60 miles to their house to help at least once a week. As a teacher, I made lesson plans for subs when I had to be out and tried not to take too much time (mistake). I told my Assistant Principal what was happening so she could understand why I was out so much and she said she would tell the Principal. Three days from the end of the school year and my mom is failing. I am trying to get though the school day to drive down when I am called to the office. I was told that I was being transferred the next year to a grade level I never taught to work with a teacher I had had leagal proceedings against. She didnt say it but this was because some important parents didnt like the current teacher (who would be moved to my position). I started to cry. I just could not handle one more thing. But nothing would change the decision so I walked out. I went to my parents' home and had to call 911 for my mom the next day. I spent the summer first watching her die then trying to help my dad.

    I think the principal was a bit shocked at my tears and in a way I wish I hadnt shown that "weakness". But in another way I am glad she knew (even if she didnt care) how difficult it was for me.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Aug. 8, 2001
    Location
    up the hill from the little river (that floods alarmingly often)
    Posts
    3,603

    Default

    I do not usually cry at work, but in the 7.5 years in this particular office, I've cried four times, I think. Once was when we had to lay off six employees (that was a hard day for everyone, I think), once when I was really worried about my horse (so not even work-related) and once when DH and I were going through a rough patch (also not work-related).

    The most recent time was the worst one; I'd been dealing with a truly b!tchy coworker who'd thrown me under the bus several times, I'd been working a lot of overtime and still had about 30 things in my inbox, and I wasn't sleeping well. (I don't handle not getting enough sleep; it makes me crazy!) I held it together in front of my male project manager, but I just told him I needed to take my part of the project home and do it there after I'd gotten some sleep. He sort of laughed at me when I walked in (I'm sure I looked some kind of awesome after several nights of two or three hours of sleep), and then when he realized I wasn't fooling around, he told me not to worry about it and to just take it home and get it done over the weekend. When I went in to clear it with my boss (female, and generally just a great supervisor), I lost it and told her that between b!tch, OT and my continually overflowing inbox, I wasn't able to sleep and needed to take this project home and finish it after I'd gotten some rest. She apologized for letting things get that bad, and that was it. She later had a discussion with b!tch, and the powers that be finally got around to approving my two-year-old request for PT help in my department.

    We've never had anyone here who cried at the drop of a hat, so I don't have much experience with that. I think it's not unusual to have someone lose it when he or she is really stressed out, though IME the women tend to cry and the men tend to retreat into this stony, pissy silence. I find the crying thing a little easier to deal with, honestly, because you cry, you let that out, and then you're calmer and generally a little less spun up afterward, and you're more able to get your work done. The stony, pissy silence thing lasts for days, if not weeks, and makes interacting with someone tricky.
    Full-time bargain hunter.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2006
    Location
    Cheesehead in Loudoun Co, VA
    Posts
    2,344

    Default

    I came close to tears once because I couldn't figure out how to work the large format scanner. The coworker who was trying to help told me (kindly) that it wasn't anything to cry about. She was right, of course, but tell that to my yet-unmedicated anxiety issues
    I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
    Violence doesn't end violence. It extends it. Break the cycle.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2004
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    209

    Default

    Ditto. I'd cry out of sheer frustration if I'd had a 17 hour day and had to stay at work until 2am, too! Good call on staying home the following day and putting yourself first.

    I work for a very neurotic engineer, whose "attention to detail" is unrivaled. He gets worse and worse with each passing year. I found out that he'd gone back to an industrial site of mine to do an inspection of his own on the weekend. He took really shoddy and incomplete notes, but was so proud of himself for noticing a few (unimportant) details that I hadn't bothered to focus on. Whoop-de-doo.

    So when it became clear that we were still missing information (albeit it wasn't at all important) relating back to the incomplete (or rather, incorrect, as it turned out) notes he'd taken, he asked me to go back to the site AGAIN and do a THIRD site visit. So, I went. It was so humiliating, and annoyed me to no end that it was for no other reason than to indulge my boss in his neurotic tendencies. So frustrating!

    I got in back in the car, called someone to vent, and started blubbering. I've gotten used to dealing with The Most Inefficient Man Ever but for some reason this particular day, I had just HAD it. What made it worse, is the person I called to vent to couldn't stop laughing when I described how I'd had to sneak about, hiding behind the garbage bins to get to the metal drums in order to bang on them to guess at whether they were full or empty, for fear of being questioned or removed from the property by management!



Similar Threads

  1. Crying and Itching *Help*
    By GraceLikeRain in forum The Menagerie
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Oct. 20, 2012, 06:59 AM
  2. Okay I'm tired and crying...
    By muffintop in forum Horse Care
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: Mar. 14, 2012, 08:28 PM
  3. while you weenies are crying over War Horse...
    By pal-o-mino in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: Jan. 1, 2012, 10:37 AM
  4. I can't stop crying
    By wingedmare in forum Off Course
    Replies: 79
    Last Post: Oct. 30, 2011, 07:58 PM
  5. Dog barking/crying on a night?
    By kookicat in forum Around The Farm
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: Oct. 4, 2009, 01:04 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •