To grieve as you need to. Anger is not unreasonable.
Knowing that a dog is a hard case-short termer doesn't make it any easier, and the heart that let you help is the same heart that opened up and let you love.
It's been 5 months today since we lost our dear boy. Twelve years, the BEST Dog on the Planet. Truly.
I tried a rescue whose eyes I couldn't ignore. Took him home. Could. Not. Do. It. Resented the hell out of having any other dog in my home or on "his" farm.
Fortunately, my sister needed a little luv bug in her life at just the right time, it's worked perfectly.
I won't let her even bring him on the property, and it is only recently that I allow the barn cats the evening visits they used to get, it seemed "unfair' that they could come in and 'get the love" when our boy was gone.
I don't think I'll ever have another dog, so I get it. I get pissed when my sister is sad over "my" dog's loss, it's like, how dare you grieve, it's MY sadness, My loss, just shut up. She loved him too, and I Just Don't Care.
Yep, I get it, you aren't nuts.
I'm very sorry for your loss, but know that you gave love to something that desperately needed it.
There can be nothing wrong in that.
Only that it will hurt, because though the dog is gone, the love remains.
It won't get better fast, it will get manageable.
I'm so sorry...but try to give your current dog the attention he/she needs. I get it, really I do. I've lost too many in too short of a time. With my last one, even my barn cat was grieving and stopped eating...he was her horse.
“He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals.”
― Immanuel Kant
Sansena, when I lost my 4-legged baby girl, Miss Snap Pea, at age 14 months (about 11 years ago), I actually trashed my own house. Turned over tables/chairs, etc. I was in a rage, inconsolable, non-functioning. I cussed God & everyone else. I don't think I smiled for 6 months. I wouldn't take my friend's phone calls. I wanted to die too but I had other animals I had to care for.
It was awful. BUT, it did subside.
While I'll never get over her loss I did get on with life. I had to.
You'll get better but anger is a great big part of loss. Go out & yell. Don't supress it, let it out.
I finally saw a therapist as I was so depressed I couldn't function. It helped a lot. I've lost other animals & was very very upset & sad but the loss of Snappy was worse. It was as though I lost a child. She was my first Jack Russell & went with me everywhere.
You will get through this.
me?...once i got over the paralyzing non-movement,sit in a chair stage, i got really angry..........like, wanna smash all the other animals, just for living rage.........mentally , i knew that was irrational, but that was how i felt..........
a GOOD and sensitive friend brought me a large box of thriftstore plates...............i went out to the edge of the pasture with a baseball bat and the plates...........i fumed, yelled, threw plates,smashed them, beat trees with the bat...raged at the unfairness of it all..........had to do that a couple of times, but each time the rage was less, and i was able to tolerate the sight of my other critters more.....
luckily, my head knew not to act out the rage my heart was feeling on any innocents............well, til the plates came along....
i am so sorry for your pain, and totally relate to it.........go smash and destroy something..........i hope it will help you as it helped me
Splitting my time between Brightwood, VA and Oyster Bay, NY
I totally understand your grief. Truly I do. I've lost many dogs over my life time. Some expected some not. Some natural, some completely unfair.
I know that everyone grieves in their own way. But let me suggest if your anger and sadness is so great, perhaps you should seek help, because I believe there is more in your life that is effecting you. I am NOT minimizing your loss, but I learned a long time ago that an overreaction to an event can mean that something else, that is not being addressed, is really the issue you are angry or depressed about.
Deepest condolences on your loss.
~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
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