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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Jan. 24, 2000
    Houston, TX, USA


    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Portia:

    8. "Very well wagoned." (don't ask me -- she's English; best I can figure it means you did a good job getting around a difficult course)

    Thanks for the explanation Portia! I used to ride with Andrea, and often watched Jo teaching. You have the gorgeous grey mare, right? I never understood what Jo said after "very well". It still doesn't make much sense to me, but more than it used to [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

  2. #42
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2000
    New York, NY, USA


    Although not advice, my trainer's comments about various and sundry explorers, Magellan, Columbus even Vasco de Gama when people go off course are always a great source of amusement.

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Dec. 16, 1999
    Salt Lake City, UT USA


    I will never forget a clinic I had in college with Jimmy Cantwell....

    "Do you hold onto your boyfriend as tight as you hold on those reins? I feel sorry for the poor guy"

  4. #44
    Join Date
    Mar. 2, 2000
    new york


    Both my TB mare and I have a tendency to go too fast in non-speed classes. Imagine what my trainer wants to really say when his very calm comments are:

    "I guess I didn't see the liverpool in front of that, but you certainly did."

    "Hmm, I could have sworn that was a two-stride, not one."

    "Remember, go slowly--we're not here to set land speed records."

    and most appropriately:

    "Patience is a virtue!"

    By the way, I have the same trainer as TBLover, and I think we'd both agree--he is always supportive, even when you've made a mistake. The best is that he picks comments that he knows will work for each of us, so what works for me doesn't necessarily get put into the vernacular for others.

    [This message has been edited by speedracer (edited 03-02-2000).]

  5. #45
    Join Date
    Oct. 5, 1999
    A place called vertigo


    Most of my favorite sayings were uttered by one or more Boniface's while I worked at Bonita Farm.

    "They're horses, not tigers!"

    "you can ride just as fast as he can run"

    "you scared?"

    "is she (the rider) dead?"

    We mucked out from 6-7, trained from 7-11, lunch from 11-12 and groomed form 12-2. WE got off at 2. Often we would be running really behind and everyone would be shouting at us to move move move. Shorty, the oldest hand on the farm, never hurried a bit because, "2 o'clock comes at the same time every day."

  6. #46
    Join Date
    Jan. 30, 2000
    Christiana, Pa.


    An all time stand out..." open your body !"The first time we heard this in the schooling ring at Devon in the late 60's we all looked around nervously, concerned that we might have been evesdropping on a personal conversation!

  7. #47
    Join Date
    Apr. 23, 1999


    * left in the rumble seat (from visiting British pony club A)
    *get him in front of your leg
    *forward, forward, forward
    *open your shoulders

  8. #48
    Join Date
    Jan. 23, 2000
    Arlington, VA


    One of my fav comments, (said by my friend who was watching my ride my division in season finals - I had just won the first class and was now 3 points ahead of my biggest rival to win the seasonal awards) "Good job. you're up by 3 points - not forget that and keep riding to win" then as I ride off all of my friends shouted "NO PRESSURE" in unision.

    And another great one

    "I'd love to know who told your horse he was a
    quarter horse, could he teach my horse that?"

    "Would you PLEASE remind him he's a thoroughbred and that his nose doesn't belong on th ground!?!?!"(when my TB gets *TO* long and

    and of course the latest and greatest

    "If you don't sit up and trust that horse I'll break your arm. And then you recover I get to ride your horse and win ribbons and you can ride my horse and get bucked off"

    (to explain - my trainer broke her wrist on her very bratty horse and is always threatening to make me ride him - and saying how she'd clean up on my much quieter horse)

    "Why did he (insert fault here, refuse, break, whatever)???"

    The right answer is 'B/c I screwed up (explain why).' Wrong is "B/c he felt like it.'
    Sarah ( & Regal)

    what doesn't kill you makes you stronger -
    unless it breaks your heart first

  9. #49
    Join Date
    Sep. 29, 1999


    Here's a few worth noting from various trainers:

    "Dolly Parton position please" (stop hunching)

    "You get NO free strides with that horse!" (gotta work your *ss off every stride)

    "Let's see, do we have to amputate?" (whenever I ask my trainer to please come look at the bump/cut/bite (pick one) on my horse's leg)

    "That was anemic" (re a jump, of course)

    "So, how's Cyclone?" How a certain trainer refers to my stallion, who happens to be exTREMEly mild mannered, at all times.
    ROYAAL Z (Ramiro Z x Fanny Girl Z by Ferdinand)

  10. #50
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2000
    New York, NY, USA


    I have the same trainer as TBLover and speedracer, and he is truly gifted. He's also the master of both the unspoken word and the understatement. Many of his adult customers suffer from the being too nice to our horses syndrome, and he tries to get around that with a sense of humor...

    This is not a democracy, it's a dictatorship.

    For the one hour a day she works, you are the boss... you can pet her the other 23 hours.

    After your horse has galloped for 15 minutes doing her best porpoise imitation and he's peeling you off the ceiling, he calmy mumbles, I guess she's feeling a little fresh today?

    When you're doing things right, he says very little, which was disconcerting at first, since I came from a very talkative trainer, but now there's a kind of security that comes with his silence, and from his hypnotic calmness.

    And with apologies to all, remember, he says this, not me... Having a blonde day, are we?

  11. #51
    Join Date
    Oct. 25, 1999
    Vienna, OH


    Great thread! I've been laughing OUT LOUD while reading all of your comments. I feel I'm in such good company [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

    Sparkles - love the one "stop crying"!!!!

    The comments that resound in my head are not unlike many of yours...

    Ride the rhythm...ride the rhythm...
    sometimes becomes: Ride the pony...ride the pony...
    Keep it...keep it...keep it...
    Inside shoulder back...
    Look through the turn...
    Remember your "Victoria's Secret" (used for equitating on the flat and very useful in front of a male judge [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img])
    Circle and come again (like I don't know she's raising that oxer another 3" while my back is turned!)

    One all-time favorite: I was about to enter the ring for my second phase of a classic. I was last because I had the highest score the first round. I knew everyone was watching me (some probably hoping I would screw up!) I told my trainer I felt really ill - couldn't stand the pressure of numerical scoring. She stopped giving instructions and said, "Jan - go have FUN"
    We did and took home $$ and a trophy [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    [This message has been edited by FOXYANDME (edited 03-02-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by FOXYANDME (edited 03-02-2000).]

  12. #52
    Join Date
    Jan. 12, 2000


    Portia!!! I have never laughed so hard in my life and the glen mMoody one I can hear him saying that !!!
    Now herearemy fav sayings as heard by my students...They will comment on the list I am sure....
    1 your base is like a tree with its roots.If therootsare weak thewn the tree tips over!!!
    2Look past it
    3count 1-2-1-2-1-
    4 If it wereeasy it wouldnt be fun!!!
    5One Two buckle my shoe,three four close the door(said to little kids on way to jump)
    squeeze his guts out!!!

  13. #53
    Join Date
    Jan. 18, 2000


    This thread is too funny!

    My trainer is very low key--prefers to call us over to her at shows to talk rather than compete with the other trainers for volume.

    There are two girls who ride with us, however, who make up for it by commenting as they are approaching their warm-up jumps.

    One is infamous for yelling out at the last stride when she's really missed "I don't see anything!" To which my trainer replies, "Obviously"

    The other will do about the same thing, but says "Sorry!" as she kicks off the ground to which the reply is "We both accept, but please don't do that again!"

  14. #54
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2000


    [QUOTE]Originally posted by FlyingCircus:
    [B]How 'bout:

    "Win. No pressure." (Thanks, JT)

    "I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter."

    Flying Circus: Did you ride with JT Tallon? You quotes sound familiar. My favorite was always: "It's a good thing that horse is a lot smarter than you or you'd both be in trouble"

  15. #55
    Join Date
    Jul. 16, 1999
    Saugatuck, MI


    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Philly:

    and whe he want someone to sit up and stop bouncing:
    "You look like a monkey F-ing a football!"


    LOL! My old trainer makes me sit up by telling me that whenever this guy rides by with his ever-so-horrid eq. Ewww....bad mental picture...
    -Erin B-
    \"I am fairly agile, I can bend and not break. Or I can break and take it with a smile. I am so resilient. I recover quickly. I\'ll convince you soon that I am fine.\" (\'Bend and Not Break\', DC)

  16. #56
    Join Date
    Feb. 4, 2000


    Hi! GREAT idea Portia!!! Just what I need to make me laugh today! OK, here are a couple of GOOD one's that my trainer has said!

    "OK, let's try that ONE more time!" ( after about 3 ONE more times)! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

    "Give that horse a PAT! ( meaning he just saved my butt again!)

    "Keep going! Keep going! Keep going! (as in, keep doing the same jump over and over again)!

    "Didn't I tell you to canter? WELL, start cantering!" (as in, stop watching everybody else and get a move on!) [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

    "When I say half halt, I MEAN HALF HALT!!!(slow him down b/c you are not going to get the distance right if you keep letting him speed toward the jump!)

    "Right Leg, Right Leg, Right Leg! OR Left Leg, Left Leg, Left Leg! ( when my horse is trying to duck to the right or left away from a jump when he thinks he can get away with it, which is pretty often!)"

    OK, that's all I can think of right now! But, I'll post more tomrrow! I am going to my lesson tonight and I'll give you an update! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] Thanks! Again Portia, GREAT thread! What a hoot!

  17. #57
    Liza Guest


    I hear this about everytime I have a lesson:

    Trainer:"How many did you get down that line?"
    T:"Did you count?"
    T:"Then how many"
    T:"Are you sure about that?"
    T:"Is that your final answer?"
    T:"Well lets see here I counted 6 you said 5 now go do it again and this time count!!"
    T: "Don't say ok cause I know you have no idea what to do to get the 4 I wanted, get off and let me show you how its done"

  18. #58
    Join Date
    Feb. 29, 2000
    Petrolia, Ontario, Canada


    Great topic!!!
    My coach, Rose, has way too many sayings to count... Here's a few:

    She calls us her "goslings" (her nickname is "Mother Goose")

    She used to call my very spooky Appy "a mad gelding in a tutu!!!" which was really great to relieve tension...

    she sometimes describes the canter to older beginers (mostly teenagers) by saying "pretend you're having sex!"

    And from her coach, Joe, who is very German:

    "YA, YA, YA, YA!!!" if you're doing something right.

    "Marching! Marching!" if you're walking too slow.

  19. #59
    Join Date
    Oct. 27, 1999


    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PaintPony:
    [B][QUOTE]Originally posted by FlyingCircus:
    How 'bout:

    "Win. No pressure." (Thanks, JT)

    "I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter."

    Flying Circus: Did you ride with JT Tallon? You quotes sound familiar. My favorite was always: "It's a good thing that horse is a lot smarter than you or you'd both be in trouble"


    Oh, yes, I rode with JT Tallon (aka the Mustache). I hear him in my head EVERY time I ride. I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or not. When did you ride with him?

  20. #60
    Join Date
    Nov. 12, 1999
    OH USA


    My trainer rarely yells, and is incredibly motivating, but loves to share her words of wisdom:

    "Chin... butt." (We actually have to say this out loud over a jump, reminding us to lift our chins and get our butts out of the saddle.)

    "Do it or die trying!"

    "Remember the 4 P's... Pace, Path, Pockage (frame) and Position."

    "I loooove that distance!" (What we're supposed to say to ourselves when we find the bad one so we don't make faces.)

    "Fingers" (To remind us to keep our fingers closed and keep the frame in upward transitions)

    "Whoever has the deepest heel wins a free lesson!" (My favorite!)

    "You shouldn't have to work that hard!" (Change your bit, get spurs, etc. so that you don't spend the whole lesson miserable.)

    "Well that was an expensive rail. wasn't it?" (after pulling one rail in a classic jump-off)

    And something we hear in almost every lesson:

    "What are the three things you should do each and every day you ride... ride with a bridged rein in one hand, Post at the canter, and ride a bending line. You all do this, right?" (We all look sheepishly at our horse's mane.) "Okay, so let's go out and bridge in the right hand..." (we end up doing all three, of course).

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