I don't believe in being rude back to rude people, so my answer to all such things is "Thank you." It is not quite an appropriate answer (or comment) so people get that you are intentionally not commenting on what they are saying.
No snappy comeback here, but I am an only child and we moved every three years. Talk about having to develop social skills to make friends! (and I mean that in a good way - now, I am always the DD when our group of friends go out. Why? "Because you're the only one of us who doesn't have to drink to talk to strangers and dance")
Also, I appreciate the fact that had I not been an only child, my parents would never have bought me my horse, car, or fully funded my college education. Had there been two of us, they would have contributed but not fully proviided. For that,, I am extremely thankful to be the only.
TIMBERRIDGE SPORTHORSES: www.timberridgesporthorses.com
--> Just Press Start // '99 Oldenburg
--> Always The Optimist (reg. Simply Stylin) // '02 Thoroughbred
I always laugh when people say that they plan to have a 2nd child because their kid needs a playmate or whatever. I grew up with a brother and a sister and we were all pretty much at each others' throats for my whole childhood. We're not close as adults either.
My moms BFF is the worst so far. She ranted at me for 20 minutes in front of my entire family. This is not like her so I was shocked! I was polite but she actually raised her voice at me and said I was cruel!!
My aunt (who is very blunt) told me to tie my tubes when I deliver.
You would think the unsolicited comments would be par for the course, since horsewomen can also offer "advice".
I'm blown away by the rudeness...one telling me not to be a hero by not getting an epidural, my baby won't bond with me since I'm not breast feeding, I'll change my mind definitely and have more kids despite me saying we would have to sell the house (2bedroom).
People have so much nerve! The receptionist in my obs office spent 15 minutes telling me I was wrong to have one child.
I always tell people to break out in screaming anguish and wail about the medical reason why you can not... Not to be uncaring to the people that really can't but to make people think before they talk.
We did end up having a second child but for three years I was going to stop at one. I did a lot of research and reading on the subject and while I never really had anyone confront me about the topic I did have information that discredited their opinion, it's easy enough to give a condescending look, site a source and change the subject. I find myself having to do that now since I ended up homeschooling.
But I'm also not a fan of unloading a huge amount of resentment/frustration on Great Aunt Bessie who is coming from a completely different perspective, sometimes it's ok to just say "things are so different now, aren't they" and moving on. Practice patience now-you're going to need lots of it. Wait till you start using bottles or breastfeeding (either way, you're wrong)... or vaccinate... or choose circumcision... or go to preschool or not... and pretty soon the teachers will be telling you how and what your kid should be doing... ect.
I only have one child, got my tubes tied last year, so I know what you mean. MIL is still on us to have more kids even though she knows we don't want more. When I reminded her about my tubal one day when she was carrying on about it her response was "Miracles can happen." Please, no. Save your miracles of conception for people who want them.
Generally I tell people that since I'm taking good care of this one, I don't need a spare.
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming part dog."
Moms BFF is 60 and was a kept woman. Never had a job until her dh left her 10 years ago for a new model. She has no idea what it's like to earn 80% of the household money, be the cook, the cleaner the wife and now the uterus/mom.
I don't think I should have to justify my decision to anyone. The funny thing is, no one in my generation questions us.
We don't even know if we could have more. This guy snuck by the radar and we done know how. I have pcos and had ovarian surgery. Following 10 years of no birth control and no scares, and a specialist telling me I wouldn't conceive without ivf. Then he survived 3 boughs of massive hemmoraging in the first tri. He's a miracle and I think people are assholes for even asking. Especially since those who voice the loudest know the whole story
From what I know of you here, you aren't afraid to speak your mind.
Maybe just (calmly, rationally) tell people what you just said here and tell them let's just move on before I start getting into your personal business, shall we?
There is something about other people's kids that makes people think that they need to tell others how to do it. Maybe b/c it's such a tough job, or so important, or maybe people wonder if they made the right decision for themselves... I don't know.
I am 25 and I don't have any children...and I don't want any, ever. I am not into kids, period. My boyfriend is 41 and he doesn't have any, doesn't want any.
People are constantly making comments like "you are next!" Or "so when are you having one?" And these are people who have been told multiple times that we don't want any! Then we get "oh, you'll change your mind someday! You're still young!" I know I don't want kids, why dont people not get that?! Kids aren't for everyone. I'm too selfish, I'm not willing to give up my "freedom" with my time or my money. I have horses, dogs, a cat, and my boyfriend, who I would love to marry someday. I would rather spoil each other. Selfish, maybe but I think its better than having a child & resenting it.
"If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple payments..."