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  1. #1
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    Aug. 11, 2008
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    Default Why Take Offense?

    I am curious. Why is it that some people just seem to enjoy being offended? They read e-mails, forums, and facebook posts between the lines for 'tone'. They hone in on a detail that has absolutely nothing to do with the point of the conversation, or they totally focus on someone's personality quirks instead of their character.

    Isn't life too short to go around looking for a reason to get all worked up about? Don't we have enough 'real' problems that require our energy and focus to solve?

    Biggest Example: I understand that its criminal that a lot of people in this country have abysmal spelling and grammer. But there's nothing constructive about focusing on detail over one post on an internet forum. Wouldn't the energy expended on ranting about someone poor communication skills be better spent on actually doing something to improve the average American's attitude toward education, which would then fix the disease that causes the symptom? When you rant at someone because they can't spell or don't know that its Lyme not Lymes, all you do is alienate someone who doesn't know any better and now also thinks that 'smart people are mean'.

    Personally, I am too busy to 'read for tone'. Given the general lack of civility that seems to have overtaken our society in general, if I read everthing for tone, I'd have gone postal several times over.
    Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
    Witherun Farm
    http://witherun-farm.blogspot.com/



  2. #2
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    Aug. 15, 2008
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    Default

    What do you mean by the word "tone"? How DARE you!

    I'm picking up what you're throwing down, Trevelyan. I've noticed it too.
    "Aye God, Woodrow..."



  3. #3
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    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
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    Default

    You better own your tone there lady!!!!


    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  4. #4
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    Sep. 7, 2009
    Location
    Lexington, KY
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    Default

    That would be me. A pet peeve. It's Lyme, not Lymes. And know the definition and proper use of loose and lose. I don't correct in a mean way...at least I don't mean to. But, why not correct someone and save them the embarrassment of using the wrong word or spelling?

    I've had my spelling and grammar corrected. No sweat.
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 15, 2002
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    810

    Default 2 Rules

    My mom always says there should be 2 rules;
    First, no one is allowed to offend any one else
    Second, no one is allowed to be too easily offended.

    Makes sense to me.




  6. #6
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Default

    I find this highly offensive!


    Ok, I always thought it was the middle aged soccermom crowd that made up the majority of the professionally offended people.

    most of them are not touched in any shape or form by the offense.

    Guess they need to feel needed?
    Quote Originally Posted by fargaloo View Post
    Do you not understand how asking "why now?" is EXACTLY part of the reason why assault victims feel silenced?



  7. #7
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    Aug. 11, 2008
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tux61096 View Post
    My mom always says there should be 2 rules;
    First, no one is allowed to offend any one else
    Second, no one is allowed to be too easily offended.

    Makes sense to me.
    ^^^^ Love this.

    Personally, I am offended and aghasted that people get so lose their civility when someone's horse has Lymes and don't check their facts first to be sure its not a new disease.
    Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
    Witherun Farm
    http://witherun-farm.blogspot.com/



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    Location
    El Paso, TX
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    13,059

    Default

    My favorite was a post (on here, I think), where the poster posted "and wahla". Someone responded with the "I think you meant 'voila'", and the poster replied "No, I meant wahla"..



  9. #9
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    NorthEast
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    Default

    I don't normally have big issues with spelling/grammar issues.

    Things have probably been this way for decades and nobody would've noticed...now we type most communication and can see it better.

    As long as I can understand it...and certain screw ups do make me chuckle sometimes...otherwise not a big deal.

    As for the easily offended...a lot of people are REALLY emotional. That still surprises me. People tend to project themselves and their emotions/experiences into what they read.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte



  10. #10
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    Apr. 3, 2006
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    Spooner, WI
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    Default

    They believe every post is about them. They have yet to learn, "Don't take everything personally."



  11. #11
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    Jun. 24, 2005
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    Alabama
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    Default

    There are some people that take offense at everything online, and in real life. Some people are just very suspicious (OK paranoid) about every nuance and inflection, because they are convinced that everyone is either putting them down, or criticizing them. That's just the way some people are, and then there are the people who have to have drama all of the time, so if there's no drama they start something.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  12. #12
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sunridge1 View Post
    They believe every post is about them. They have yet to learn, "Don't take everything personally."

    Rather 'What do you care about a total stranger on the net'

    btw, I was being sarcastic in my previous post...had to run out when I hit enter.
    Quote Originally Posted by fargaloo View Post
    Do you not understand how asking "why now?" is EXACTLY part of the reason why assault victims feel silenced?



  13. #13
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    Jul. 11, 2004
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    6,978

    Default

    Because being offended is power.

    A teacher in DC used the word "niggardly"...ignorant blacks with no vocabulary skills chimped out at the word and I believe the teacher's life was made a hell.

    Quite a few lectures have been cancelled due to muslims being offended by the truth being discussed.

    I once dated a girl who no matter what I said, she took offense...If I said she looked good in green, she'd reply "well, sorry I don't have enough green clothes to look nice for you" etc. That lasted 2 dates.
    "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"



  14. #14
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trakehner View Post
    Because being offended is power.

    A teacher in DC used the word "niggardly"...ignorant blacks with no vocabulary skills chimped out at the word and I believe the teacher's life was made a hell.
    It wasn't a teacher, but the man had to resign his job, nontheless.
    A NY teacher got canned, because she had her class read 'Nappy Hair' a critically acclaimed childrens book by a black author, underlining the , well positive things about being different. Oh, she quit that job, too. because the professionally offended made her life hell.

    Quite a few lectures have been cancelled due to muslims being offended by the truth being discussed.
    I am sure I could find likewise happening around these part, replace the religion with something more 'domestic'

    I once dated a girl who no matter what I said, she took offense...If I said she looked good in green, she'd reply "well, sorry I don't have enough green clothes to look nice for you" etc. That lasted 2 dates.
    ROFLMAO

    you really did pick some loser chicks, but I am glad this one only lasted 2 dates!
    Quote Originally Posted by fargaloo View Post
    Do you not understand how asking "why now?" is EXACTLY part of the reason why assault victims feel silenced?



  15. #15
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    Jul. 5, 2010
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    72

    Default

    It's a form of arrogance, it's all about making it all about themselves.



  16. #16
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    Sep. 1, 2006
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trakehner View Post
    A teacher in DC used the word "niggardly"...ignorant blacks with no vocabulary skills chimped out at the word and I believe the teacher's life was made a hell.
    ICWYDT, YRMF. LOL.



  17. #17
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    Sep. 1, 2006
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    Default

    I don't get particularly offended by poor grammar and horrific spelling unless the aforementioned commentary is being provided by someone who thinks that them there foreners gotta lern to speak english, cuz there in AMERICA NOW.

    And really, that's not offense. That's deep, enduring amusement that manifests in the overwhelming need to poke the cretins with pointed sticks. Any offense perceived is just that - perceived.



  18. #18
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    Jun. 7, 2008
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    now in KCMO, and plan to stay there
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LauraKY View Post
    That would be me. A pet peeve. It's Lyme, not Lymes. And know the definition and proper use of loose and lose. I don't correct in a mean way...at least I don't mean to. But, why not correct someone and save them the embarrassment of using the wrong word or spelling?

    I've had my spelling and grammar corrected. No sweat.
    I agree. There is also a part of my mind that hopes to discover that someone else, other than a paltry few of us, actually enjoys linquistic precision, and truly cares about trying to express something correctly.
    Jeanie
    RIP Sasha, best dog ever, pictured shortly before she died, Death either by euthanasia or natural causes is only the end of the animal inhabiting its body; I believe the spirit lives on.



  19. #19
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    Feb. 20, 2010
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    All 'round Canadia
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    Default

    OTOH, I also notice that people are often accused of being all offended/riled up, when to me they're clearly enjoying the internet debate. I've gotten the silly "why are you getting so upset?" when I was entertaining myself on drama comms in between writing boring papers; I believe that it's the other person who's upset, and trying hard to project that on their argument-opponent (often for the benefit of the audience).

    It's the same with the "ooohhh, you just have to have the last word" from someone who also keeps replying in order to have the last word. It's like they're plain too stupid to realize that they're engaging in a textbook definition of pot/kettle.

    They also usually don't quite know what to do when I outright admit that sure, I want the last word. Don't they want it too? If they don't, why do they keep replying?



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