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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2002
    Southern California

    Default Stupid, stupid, STUPID...please share your STUPID stories (update on me p. 7)

    Hey, so I'm lame...literally. I broke some horse-safety rules because I was in a hurry, and my complacency towards them put me in the ER last night (totally not the horse's fault--he can't help that he's 1100lbs and I had a moment of stupid). I'm fine, thankfully, but currently have a softball for a right ankle. I had to call in a sub (I teach middle school) for today, and have a doctor's note for 3 days (I need to be seen by an ortho and be re-x-rayed; no obvious fractures, but the ER doc wasn't convinced). But, well, ONE day is hard enough to be gone, but THREE? Ugh. I see the orthopedist Wednesday, then we'll see. I'll cross the next bridge when I can hobble over it.

    Is it bad that while I was sitting on the ground waiting for help I was thinking, "Well, at least my kids are done with testing"?

    What manner of stupid did I do? I was in a hurry and wanted to measure my new horse's front legs for fly boots. So while he was untied in his stall (mistake #1), I took out a measuring tape that he'd not seen before (mistake #2) and put it to his leg. He was eating and didn't notice (mistake #3) and when he did, he spooked and jumped cat-like sideways, away from me like a good boy. But I was squatting down/bending at the knees, rather than at the waist like you're supposed to around horses for exactly this reason (mistake #4), so when he spooked I lost my balance and fell back on my butt...which sent my legs forward into his. Thankfully he just got an ankle, not my head or torso, and after the sweet boy stayed with me (staring snd sniffing) the whole time until help came. Then I just felt, well, STUPID.

    Thank heavens I at least had my boots on!! He could have shredded that leg if I didn't. Pic from the ER before it was X-ray and put in a splint (that's more like a cast). Note, that's not a tan line--that's a DIRT line from being in his dusty stall.

    Please share your face-palming horse-related stories to help me temper my anger with myself and embarrassment of getting hurt for being unnecessarily careless...gotta have some humor in this mess.

    (Horse is a sweetheart and ignored his bucket of joy for nearly an hour just to hang with me and see what was going on...sniffed me all over and stayed with me while I tried not to pass out. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body, but that pink tape was going to BITE HIM! --Until he saw what it was, then he was fine.)
    Last edited by Lauruffian; May. 24, 2012 at 12:25 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
    South Korea


    Ouch! Definitely get that re-xrayed at the very least and have the ortho look at it. ER's are not known for being great at seeing fractures. I had several bone chips from falling from my horse that the ER missed. Ortho saw them on the first set of x-rays (from the ER) and confirmed with another set. Really hope it's nothing and you're on you feet in no time though! Ice and ibuprofen will be your friend!
    "People ask me 'will I remember them if I make it'. I ask them 'will you remember me if I don't?'"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul. 13, 2011
    East Longmeadow, MA


    Oh, poor girl. Ouch! I'll share my stupid story.

    Last year I had a great idea, so I thought, to do a Christmas card with pic of me, horse, and my now-husband. Dad came eto the barn to take pictures. My brilliant idea: put reindeer antlers on horse, and get on bareback and then have husband stand next to me. I was wearing my Santa hat.

    Horse had endured reindeer antlers two years before, very patiently, for Xmas card shot with me standing at his side, in halter. I figured it wouldn't be a problem. HA. I should have clued into the fact that horse seemed less than thrilled about the antlers. I went to get on him, outside, not in the arena. As soon as I was on horse ducked hard and I went flying off the front, landed on my knees. Horse had also ducked out of his bridle (I was riding with bit hanger only). After we managed to catch him we took different pictures with me NOT on horse, antlers NOT on horse, and went home.

    Later that afternoon while decorating Xmas tree my knee started to hurt really badly. Next day I couldn't walk. Turned out I had seriously sprained a ligament that is still NQR to this day.
    What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2010


    Well, I was only 10 years old at the time, but still old enough to know better. I was at a farm trying a horse to buy, and noticed the helmet they gave me had a snap that would pull right out if you tugged on it (it would not stay 'latched'). I remember thinking, oh well, nothing's going to happen. I don't remember much after that. One concussion and grand mal seizure later, my little brain was probably never the same. I teach riding lessons now and we never, NEVER cut corners with equipment or safety. I learned the hard way so my students won't have to!

    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 21, 1999
    Rochester, NY


    Sometimes fractures don't show up for a few days, so definitely keep those appointments.

    As for stupid moves, not me, but a former barn owner always used to laugh at herself because the one time that she was seriously injured was not when she was working with a horse, but because she backed up and tripped over a salt block while cleaning a stall.
    “When our dictator turns up you can depend on it that he will be one of the boys, and he will stand for everything traditionally American.” Dorothy Thompson 1935

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec. 27, 2010
    Catharpin, VA


    Oh my! I hope you get to healing soon No fun.

    Oh do I have stories to share!

    Lessi....There waaas: Taking Mare A through gate to dry lot after a PERFECT ride. Mare B gets all excited and bumps Mare A, sending Mare A flying. Reins loop around my pinkie and ring finger and SNAP. Fortunately Mare A stops as soon as she feels the pressure, so after I settle her, get her untacked, groomed and everything put away and go to put ice on my already purple and swollen hand and declare "I think she broke me...can someone drive me to the ER?" all I walk away with is a chip off my pinky finger and a spiral fracture on my ring finger.

    Then there was the time I was taking Mare B into the arena to ride after a lot of time off...and my colt let himself into the ring too while I was going to close the gate. I just turn and wave an arm at him and say "GET!"...well...poor mare startles at both the waving arm and him bolting away, turns and bucks, lands a blow just above my hip on my back, which sends me flying. She freaks out further at seeing me laying on the ground (helmet which had not yet been buckled went flying to another location as well) and runs off. So I go get her, and we try again with much more success, have a nice ride, and I go let my back make sweet sweet love to an ice pack.

    And then there was the "I'm going to squat and put these wraps on your legs so we can go play in the arena" moment...which was more funny than painful.
    Squatting, more infront of than beside my trusted steed, and one of the kids opens the tackroom door (which in our cross ties the horse faces) and wouldn't you know it they had COOKIES... I ended up knocked on my bum after getting a knee to the face.

    And THEN there was this mule...and I had a lil too much slack in the lead rope..he spooked and in the process that slack became a loop and I got MOST of my hand out of the way, but the tip of my thumb gets caught and...again..SNAP. It's still swollen, and will bend but not to back to the 'relaxed position'. They want to do surgery on it I'm not sure I want to deal with that...

    OH and then yesterday, I had a 'titanic' moment...but instead of standing on the bow of a giant ship with my arms out in the air..I was standing on the bumper of a truck while my sweet honeyman drove it through the pasture. I was opening and closing gates and since he was going a whole four miles an hour I thought it'd be fun to do that thing my parents would never let me do as a kid.

    Riding on the bumper wasn't the stupid moment, was when I jumped off the bumper. >.< Forgot the hitch was in and BAM my knee comes down on the ball. It's purple, and swollen, and hurts like a mother. Actually just put the ice pack on it again.

    Do you feel a little better now?
    Owned by a Paint/TB and an OTTB.
    RIP Scoutin' For Trouble ~ 2011 at 10
    RIP Tasha's Last Tango ~ 2010 at ~23
    RIP In Sha' Allah ~ 2009 too young at 5

    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov. 4, 2003
    Douglasville, Georgia



    We all have our moments of "do'h!" so you're in good company. Jingles for a speedy recovery and pleez to obey Herr Doktor
    <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct. 12, 2010
    North Carolina


    (big hug)

    Nice ankle.

    I had my husband's horse in the barn aisle, all tacked and ready to go. The stirrup on the off side was around the saddle horn from where I had switched out his cinch, so from the near side, I just reached up and unhooked it and dropped it over the other side without thinking it may have negative consequences when it hits him. The second it touched his side, he went NUTS -- straight up, bucked, and landed squarely on my foot. OUCH. I SHOULD have stopped there and called it a day, but noooo.....

    I got him calmed down and outside, where it was cool and a little on the breezy side. Apparently the monster that he thought was after him in the barn, also jumped out at him in the arena when I asked for a canter later on in the ride. He spooked, started a spin, and I "rode neck" for a second or two until he threw his head up. DH said I looked like a frisbee coming off of him.

    At my age, I don't bounce. I go "SPLAT". My ego was bruised, my confidence was (and still is) shaken, my body was sore, and my helmet was dented.

    Riding on a windy day AFTER the horse had ALREADY spooked.... stuuuupppiiid!
    Alis volat propriis.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul. 13, 2011
    East Longmeadow, MA


    YOUCH!!! There was also the time (I am totally ashamed to admit) I was handgrazing horse near a hotwire near the ground. I failed to pay sufficient attention and horse's nose hit wire. He took off, taking a good portion of the flesh on my right hand with him. Non-cottn lead ropes not a good idea . . . .
    What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun. 18, 2011


    Oh my

    Best wishes for recovery....

    But you don´t have to feel bad... I got one of the best horses I ever had (Schoolmaster for flying changes a 2 Tempi and nearly everything else too) because of somebody acting like you. And he was a recognized Professional..
    The horse was still a stallion then and lost one of his horseshoes in his stall...
    This guy, who was the trainer of the horse, went into the stall while the horse was in there to look for the lost shoe.... My guess is, that the horse got scared because this guy was looking to the ground and moving around in the stall. So suddenly he kicked and hit the guys arm... Several bones were broke and the Barnowner told the owner that he wouldnt tolerate this horse in the barn any more......
    She had 3 days to move him. She was a friend of ours. So I got a horse for nearly nothing..... I gelded him and he was one of the loveliest horses I ever had... Never even put back his ears... I owned him for more than 8 years, showed him on 3rd level and really really enjoyed him.....

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr. 6, 2010
    San Diego, CA


    1. Instructing DD on how to correctly put a bridle on the pony...TWACK right into my way to close to his nose face he goes. DD says both of us got this glazed look on our face and he recovered faster than I did and proceeded to lick my face in apology. Sported two black eyes for a few days.
    2. I HATE cleaning hooves, it's the one thing I don't like doing as I am deathly afraid of getting my hand under a horse's hoof. I am showing DD how to properly hold the foot to clean the hooves when horse takes offense to his foot being in the air and yanks it away. Me being stubborn hangs onto the foot rather than letting go. He got my foot rather than my hand by sheer luck of the draw.
    3. Leading horse through gate, nice wide gate with plenty of room for horse and I to go through. Almost through the gate when wind kicks up and swings the gate into the horse's but. Now I of course am in front of the horse not on the shoulder like I am supposed to be. Caught a foot on the back of the thigh and a rope burn as I hung onto the lead.
    Adoring fan of A Fine Romance
    Originally Posted by alicen:
    What serious breeder would think that a horse at that performance level is push button? Even so, that's still a lot of buttons to push.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2005
    Upstate NY


    Ouch, that ankle looks very painful.

    I was wrapping a front leg, not paying enough attention and leaning way too far under my horse's belly. Heck, I figured it was my horse and we had done this many times and he was fine.

    Well, there was a bug on his belly and he picked up his back foot, shod back foot, and went to kick the bug off his belly. Hit me squarely in the top of the head.

    Lots of blood every where. Staples, nasty scar.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 26, 2007
    San Jose, Ca


    First OUCH! That looks like some major swelling! Hope nothing is seriously hurt!

    I can share my stupid stupid that I did a few weeks ago….

    Usually I am very safety oriented, graduate B pony clubber, and the daughter of an upper level pony club instructor.. “Safety First!”

    Well… the other day I pulled my 4 year old out of her paddock, she was hyped up as she had not been turned out in two days due to bad weather… and the wind was howling that day.

    She spooked at a flapping door (she hardly ever spooks, but was bonkers from the lack of turn out).

    So what do I DO?!?! – I know horse is spooky – I KNOW she has already spooked at this particular boogie man.

    Well, I decide to be lazy, and save some trips walking back and forth in the bad weather.. and decide to lead Young Spooky Horse, WHILE carrying a grooming tote AND a big feed bucket that takes two hands…

    So I have lead rope in hand, while holding grooming tote with same hand… while balancing feed tub… and decide to walk Young Spooky Horse right past the boogie man she was already spooking at (smart, I know!!!!)

    Well predictably she spooked… only this time I had a bunch of crap in my hand in addition to the lead rope.


    I was pulled off of my feet, horse starts to drag me a little, and meanwhile all I can do is stare at my hand that is getting crippled in its noose! Luckily, right before I was sure I was going to be left with hamburger instead of a hand… the rope slipped off.

    My hand looked mangled, was all numb, constricted / yet swelling, quickly becoming discolored. I caught the horse and put her away, and started diligently cold hosing my hand. To my relief, it came back to life! And I wasn’t seriously injured (just stiffness / bruising, and now a few weeks later, a knuckle that is still sore).

    Anyway, I KNOW BETTER than to do something so stupid… but yet I did! Won’t do that again!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2003


    We could be here all day listing my past stupid moments.

    Jeez...your ankle has a goiter in that photo! Ouch!
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar. 26, 2005
    Back to Normal.. or as close as I'll ever get


    That looks totally horrific Lauruffian!

    Here, these may make you feel better/less stoopid:

    1) I am cleaning stalls and lazily tossing contents of muckrake through the fenceline onto my 2ndary manure pile.
    Tossing method is important as this is coated tensile wire and has those ratchets to tighten....the ones with teeth....
    Teeth that take off a couple layers of epidermis when I neglect to calculate the opening and rake my bare arm across a ratchet.
    If I had just expended the extra effort to toss the load over no damage would have resulted.

    2) Feeding horses I get annoyed that Vern is playing Musical Stalls with Cash - forcing him to leave the stall he's eating in, "testing" Cash's pile of hay then forcing Cash to leave the stall he is now in so they end up as they started. Grrr....
    I follow Vern out as he makes the switch and Shoo at him - he kicks at me and catches my wrist a glancing blow.
    Lucky for me it just tingles, nothing broken...THIS TIME!
    D'OH #2

    3) Vern had his Brush Game - he'd snatch at the brush I was using to groom him and then drop it.
    The Horsy version of Wallet on a String
    So we moved to a nice new barn with Dutch doors and for my very first lesson there I did not want him to drop the brush outside so I'd have to go all the way outside to retrieve it.
    My Mistake.
    When I did not allow him to take the brush the first time he snatched it and almost took the tip of my finger with.
    TG I had gloves on or he truly would have severed that fingertip!
    No lesson that day, several stitches & $$$ and to this day that fingertip is skewed slightly and the nail is funky.
    D'OH The 3rd.

    Feel better?
    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
    Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
    Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Oct. 12, 2007
    Andover, MA


    OP, ow ow ow!

    Specific to me: I have had insulin-dependent diabetes for 36 1/2 years. I have been diabetic long enough that my body can't detect when my blood glucose is low... and I used to NOT TEST my bg before I got on a horse. In 2008, I passed out while in between jumps and that mistake landed me in the hospital for several days with a broken clavicle (that required surgery to repair), 5 broken ribs and a partially collapsed lung. I was out of work for 5 weeks. Dumb, dumb, dumb!

    A more amusing and harmless dumb thing: my mare is the most food-oriented horse I have ever met. Seriously, if all she did was eat all day and sleep all night, she'd be in heaven (literally, as she'd probably founder...) She doesn't mind the other stuff, like being ridden, but she'd really rather be eating. So... barn schooling show yesterday. There were a lot of outside horses, so she was pretty amped anyway. Her braid came loose and I decided to take her back to the barn AT FEEDING TIME to fix it. When I brought her back to the warm-up area, she said she was Done, Finished, Fuggeddaboudit, it was Time For Dinner Da**it With A Capital D. She was such a hot mess that she could neither stand still nor move forward. So I scratched, and no show for us.

    The braid in question was a running braid and it had so much QuikBraid in it that the loose part was stuck to her neck, and the judge never would have noticed that it was undone anyway.

    Dumb. Just dumb.
    You have to have experiences to gain experience.

    1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia "More Valley Girl Than Girl Scout!"

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Sep. 8, 2006
    Fredericksburg, VA


    Now you have cankle (singular).

    I got into my car one morning to go to work without realizing that the wheels had been stolen off it. Not a stupid action, I guess, but definitely clueless. :-)

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec. 8, 2003

    Default Jingles for your ankle

    During this wet-wet winter, I had opened a paddock gate to put my boy back in.

    I didn't see (or chose to ignore) a particularly nasty-looking mud puddle right at the point where he enters. Instead of hand-leading the big guy around the obstacle like an intelligent individual, I just unhook the lead expecting him to stroll right in as usual.

    He takes offense at the puddle and scootches sideways to avoid -- squishing me against the gate rails with as much urgency as his 1200-lb body can muster. I can barely get the swear words out of my mouth and begin wondering how my lifeless form draped on the gate will be received by the night crew coming out to feed, when Mr. Big swerved again and released me.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jul. 4, 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by Lauruffian View Post
    Is it bad that while I was sitting on the ground waiting for help I was thinking, "Well, at least my kids are done with testing"?
    Not at all. I'm a high school teacher in Texas and last week was TAKS week. My mare waited until Thursday night/Friday morning to run through a fence. Although I was sleep deprived and crying while reading the directions for TAKS (poor children looked horrified) I was thankful I only had to make it through one. more. day.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Aug. 11, 2008


    Ow! OP, hope you're feeling better soon and its not the 'worst' news on your ankle.

    I have too many stupid stories to relate here Perhaps someday I would write a book. The best title would probably be "What NOT To Do With Your Horses".

    But my 2 most painful.

    1. NOT enforcing 'personal space' resulted in being kicked in the pasture and my first ever ambulance ride (with the entire neighborhood to witness, of course.)

    2. NOT ensuring the top dutch door on the stall was properly latched before bending over to move the snow out of the way of the bottom one. Resulting in Mr.Trev having to drive me to tthe ER in the worst part of the 2010 blizzard and my 5th concussion in 15 years.

    Basically, I'm both dumb and a klutz.
    Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
    Witherun Farm

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