As a hush falls over the crowd out of respect for the bereaved lover, another thread comes stumbling drunkenly into the room. "It's life was a lie! Everything it achieved should have been mine! My meteoric rise to success was cruelly cut short!" screamed the Terri Kessler Thread.
What was her great quote? "It's so expensive to be me *sob*" [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]
Oh! Here's the thread's last will and testament:
Being of addled mind and of a bloated length, I hereby bequeath the following:
-To PamM: the list and photos of all Thoroughbred hunters from the 70's and 80's
-To coreene: the one English saddle from the Circle J rental stable
-To Mo: the past work history (verified by a P.I.) of Melissa Cardenas
-To rusty, AAJumper and Merry: a pair of TS rust breeches
-To Beezer: a visit to a board certified neurologist to have your lapse of memory investigated
-To Suave Reno: a guide for returning amateur riders entitled, "Welcome Back! How to Survive the Continuing Soap Opera that is California's Show Circuit"
-To Bumpkin and C&C: a handful of raffle tickets to be in the running for a free new horse, donated by the Flintridge Women's Auxillary Club
-And to all the others who contributed (Katey, Chanda,Taryn, Twister, WHOA!, NancyR, Justalurker, etc.), who occasionally poked their head in to contribute an acerbic comment, you all win free round-trip tickets to Louisville for the sole purpose of hunting down Scary Woman From Kentucky, throwing her into a giant burlap bag and dropping her off at the local homeless shelter where she'll be forced to adjust to life without Aqua Net hairspray and stiletto heels.
And, with my memory, what if I want that nice bay mare that Barbi McCoy had.......... Old whazzer name. (Actually I remember that one --- it is Clipse). But I forget the name of the wonderful chestnut owned by Kim Marconi and ridden by both Susie H and Kim to many championships -- what a nice horse........ Dern, I hate getting old.
The rings are locked and I can't ride and more rain tomorrow. Is there a facility that has a decent indoor ring in OC???? Alas, I guess I'll go see the fearsome Threesom (Lexie, Reno & Cosmo) and give them a hug and alove (carots, corn oil and other assorted goodies.... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] )
If I get motivated, maybe I'll even cook a meal for my husband...
Questions: Do our husbands need a equine support group???? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]
"Hunny bunny, come here. Bill, let me straighten your toupee . . . . Oh, look, there's Merry. . . . Merry, hi, over here!"
<<Merry staggers over, Koi sandwich in one hand, Wal-Mart fake crystal decanter in another, in her rust breeches, with her ruby choker pin glowing sadly.>>
"Merry, I'd like you to meet Bill. Bill, sweetheart, this is Merry . . . . M-E-R-R-Y. Hearing is the first thing to go, you know. Merry, do you like my anklet? Bill bought it for me, once I became a trophy wife. Oh, who is that over there, in that frou-frou designer gown? Oh, the TeriKessler (one "r" not two) Thread. Wouldn't it figure that Thread would overdress? . . . . ."
[img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
Suave - if you go to the barn today, be sure to say hello to Luc for me! I had him during 99 before Helen bought him. He is so GREAT! I will attempt to post a pic...
Yes, it is pouring down rain in CA today! My mom is trying to get here from Boston, but is now stuck in Dallas due to weather. I have to now go to Ontario to get her! Alas, we are off to Hawaii on Tuesday for a week of sun and fun...
where the East meets the West, and the North meets the South!!
It was "Scarey" woman from Ky. Not "crazy". Sorry Pam M, hope you do realize I was reffering to her when I posted that comment. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]
Merry, you know, Melissa also dabbled in the catering bus. (according to her). [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] So, shall we have her cater the affair? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Wal-Mart fake crystal decanter<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> LOL --- That's a redundacy if I ever heard one, unless Walmart has been hiding their REAL crystal decanters from me all these years. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
And N2Jumper -- nice pic. nice horse. good ride.
"Down doggie, Down. Stop doing that to my leg!!!! Who brought these JRT's to the wake, anyway???"
elizabeth, I'm so sorry! I truly didn't mean to insult your hubby when I said, "Hey, did someone leave the window open? There's a squirrel on Bill Shatner's head." Honest, I'm so sorry! I could never have predicted that the Jack Russells would've savaged Bill's head like that. Nothing like having to call paramedics to a wake!
dublin, dear, the thread left you a small gift over here. Let me find it. Oh, it's wrapped so nicely...
Huge commotion as Pam flings the assaulting dog off her leg and it flies into the open coffin... Merry has to set down the gift and extract dog from gnawing on thread's formaldehyde-infused flesh...
Merry, hon, no worries. This isn't the first time open season has been declared on Bill's head. (Those toupee's actually seem to have a life of their own. I've given them pet names, you know. . . . oops, more information than you needed!)
Elizabeth hears a commotion by the casket and looks over to see coreene weeping and swaying, moaning "If I had never conceived of you, if I had never given you life, if I had never posted you, I would not have to suffer the pain of losing you." AAJumper quietly goes over to coreene and refills her margarita glass, muttering "we did the best we could. Do you want salt on the rim?" Beezer's JRT, saited by the heavy corpse meal, snuggles against elizabeth's black stocking clad ankles, whereupon elizabeth murmurred to the little fellow "you like my anklet, don't you?"