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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb. 21, 2007

    Default "Horses and Cars Alike in Many Ways"

    from the May 1942 USTA Hoof Beats and "As Wee See It":

    As worthy in presenting some pertinent thought, the following, entitled "Horses and Cars Alike in Many Ways" from the Schenectady (N. Y.) Gazette, calls for attention. It was written by Robert Quillen:

    Our thin tires and knocking motor mean that we must soon go back to the ways of our fathers. It won't be bard for me, for I grew up in horse and buggy days; but most of us are a product of the machine age, and perhaps I should explain things to you.

    A horse is like an automobile, only different. Its fuel is hay and oats, and it comes equipped with a self-filler. The carburetor is concealed and is serviced for life.

    The horse comes in many models, but all have the same general design. It has three speeds forward and one reverse. To reverse, you pull on two leather lines, whereupon the horse lays its ears back and sits down on the singletree.

    The horse has only one horsepower, but it can pull out of mud that traps 80-horsepower cars. Its four units of traction are placed at the comers, like wheels, but are called legs. They have iron treads, which are attached to the toenails.

    The horse is upholstered with horse hide, which outwears the best leather. You clean it with a comb and brush, and then the horse lies down and rolls in the dirt.

    Where our old cars had a rumble seat or tire rack, the horse has a tail mounted on a universal joint which is used to annoy flies and brush the face of the driver. That is one reason our fathers wore whiskers.

    If you like an open model, you can ride on top of the horse, unless it has other ideas, but most people prefer a trailer called a buggy.

    The buggy has no steering gear, and therefore is nice for two-handed courting. (The things I can remember!) The windshield or instrument panel has no instruments except a socket or an antenna called a whip. This is sometimes decorated with a bow of satin ribbon, which is equivalent to chromium trim on a car. No girl can resist it.

    Horse and trailer are cheaper than a car; but even when they were the only means of transport, the poor managed to get along without them. Dealers hadn't thought of the installment plan.

    So that's that, and forgive the kidding. I thought a little nonsense might cheer you up.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug. 6, 2002
    NJ, USA


    I love this! Makes me think that guy would have been a fun date back in his day

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 2004


    Starts with an 'S,' ends with a 'T.' You figure it out.

    "Houston, Tranquility Base here, picking up where we left off ..."

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