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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2000
    Location
    Whistler, BC
    Posts
    2,974

    Default

    Hadyn's post and its possible ramifications have sparked me to write this. Considering the number of members that belong to this BB, I am sure he is not the only boy or young man (or girl) that is struggling with their sexuality. So I am writing this for them in the hopes they see it, and realize that they are not alone and that there are more of "us" out here.

    Hello, my name is Jair and I am a 27 year old gay man from the westcoast of BC, Canada. I live with my partner of 3 years and work in the mining industry as a geologist.

    I will not lie and say that my being gay has always been easy, since it hasn't. I have met with adversity, been picked on and called names. But that is just a tiny portion of my life. For the most part I have lived my life as any other man out there, I am athletic, I like sports and am good at them, I drink beer as well as the rest of them, and have been known to perform totally stupid an inane acts under the banner of too much testosterone.

    So for Haydn or others who are struggling with this - I am not a stereotypical, limp wristed, flutey voiced, caftan wearing and flower arranging gay man that you may be thinking of, and scared of becoming. I am just a normal man. In fact, I am most commonly found in plaid shirts, jeans and a ball cap. You would never know I was gay.

    Like all other people, gay men come in different types, shapes, and with varied interests. What's important is who YOU are, and what you do with your life. And its important for you to realize that within yourself - Don�t be taken in by what your buddies may be saying, or what you may hear. There is a lot of negativity towards homosexuality, and you will hear it and you will have to face adversity along the way sometimes, but take it from someone who knows, that the majority of people I have met and cared about in life, have embraced me for who and what I am.

    You are lucky too to be in the horse world, for they are a very accepting and wonderful group of people as demonstrated on this BB. Stay with the horses, make friends and they'll probably be with you for life.

    Basically, what I'm trying to say in a round about way is

    I'm here, I'm queer, and I'm proud of it! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

    ~Jair
    carebearjair@hotmail.com
    You Strike Me Still



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2000
    Location
    Whistler, BC
    Posts
    2,974

    Default

    Hadyn's post and its possible ramifications have sparked me to write this. Considering the number of members that belong to this BB, I am sure he is not the only boy or young man (or girl) that is struggling with their sexuality. So I am writing this for them in the hopes they see it, and realize that they are not alone and that there are more of "us" out here.

    Hello, my name is Jair and I am a 27 year old gay man from the westcoast of BC, Canada. I live with my partner of 3 years and work in the mining industry as a geologist.

    I will not lie and say that my being gay has always been easy, since it hasn't. I have met with adversity, been picked on and called names. But that is just a tiny portion of my life. For the most part I have lived my life as any other man out there, I am athletic, I like sports and am good at them, I drink beer as well as the rest of them, and have been known to perform totally stupid an inane acts under the banner of too much testosterone.

    So for Haydn or others who are struggling with this - I am not a stereotypical, limp wristed, flutey voiced, caftan wearing and flower arranging gay man that you may be thinking of, and scared of becoming. I am just a normal man. In fact, I am most commonly found in plaid shirts, jeans and a ball cap. You would never know I was gay.

    Like all other people, gay men come in different types, shapes, and with varied interests. What's important is who YOU are, and what you do with your life. And its important for you to realize that within yourself - Don�t be taken in by what your buddies may be saying, or what you may hear. There is a lot of negativity towards homosexuality, and you will hear it and you will have to face adversity along the way sometimes, but take it from someone who knows, that the majority of people I have met and cared about in life, have embraced me for who and what I am.

    You are lucky too to be in the horse world, for they are a very accepting and wonderful group of people as demonstrated on this BB. Stay with the horses, make friends and they'll probably be with you for life.

    Basically, what I'm trying to say in a round about way is

    I'm here, I'm queer, and I'm proud of it! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

    ~Jair
    carebearjair@hotmail.com
    You Strike Me Still



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 1999
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    14,657

    Default

    Your diplomacy as well as sentiments.

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> You are lucky too to be in the horse world, for they are a very accepting and wonderful group of people as demonstrated on this BB. Stay with the horses, make friends and they'll probably be with you for life.

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    This should be a mantra. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]
    "If you would have only one day to live, you should spend at least half of it in the saddle."



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 29, 2001
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    37

    Default

    You always sound so interesting and a good, positive force for the underdog! But I think your last line should read "I'm here, and proud of it!" I think the term "queer' is mean and belittling to you.(I wish I knew how to insert a smiley face here for you!) I think you're super!



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2000
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    2,496

    Default

    Jair that was a wonderful message. I'm sure it will help many people on this BB.

    I've always felt fortunate that because of the horse world I've been able to meet and make friends with so many types of people. Most people live in such a sheltered world that they are intolerant due to ignorance. I feel pity for those indivduals not for their ignorance but for the fact they are the ones losing out on so many friendships.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2000
    Location
    Crown Point, IN
    Posts
    3,745

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    That was fab Jair, you're awesome!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    RF [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]
    Teneriffe Enterprises- NW Indiana
    www.saradanielhaynes.com



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov. 21, 2000
    Location
    ~Santa Barbara County~ CA Clique, Vertically Gifted Clique & AAAA Clique
    Posts
    3,914

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    Hey, we are all human beings living on the planet earth and we are all OK!!!

    Thanks for the post Jair, I think you are a pretty cool person!



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2000
    Location
    Whistler, BC
    Posts
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    Thank you everyone [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

    I wasn't sure how my post would be reacted too, but I thought I should stick my neck out a bit for the younger members who may be struggling with this issue.

    Thanks Beaner - while I don't particularly like the queer word myself, that particular expression is actually a well known mantra within the gay community (I think Jack from Will and Grace says it a lot), plus, it rhymed [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
    You Strike Me Still



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 1, 1999
    Location
    California
    Posts
    157

    Default

    It would be impossible to work in San Francisco without meeting many people of the "gay persuasion" [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]. The gay people I know are very intelligent, amusing and successful, although I hesitate to attribute that to their being gay---gay people are no different than any of us aside from their sexual preference. But it does take guts and a singular type of strength to stand up against a disapproving majority and say, "this is what I am, and I'm proud of it."

    [This message was edited by Ann on Feb. 15, 2001 at 07:35 PM.]



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct. 5, 1999
    Location
    \"in the wind, and rain, looking for the sun..................\"
    Posts
    3,439

    Default

    And bless you. That was an insiteful and excellent post.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2000
    Location
    New York, NY (a.k.a. The City and Center of the Universe), Canada (T.O.) and England (Kent Countrysi
    Posts
    918

    Default

    I love you JairBear!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 1999
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    14,657

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    Stop trying to sneak Alice out from under us! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
    "If you would have only one day to live, you should spend at least half of it in the saddle."



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 17, 2000
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    80

    Default

    Great post Jair!! Well written and very worthwhile.

    I've just printed it out for my roomate who is in need of just this speech right now!

    See....you've already made a difference! *smile*



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct. 21, 1999
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    12,579

    Default

    Thank you for saying that Jair. I think that this BB community would be a much poorer place without you.
    Originally Posted by Alagirl
    We just love to shame poor people...when in reality, we are all just peasants.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb. 24, 1999
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    16,625

    Default

    Maybe someone (with more time than me! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] ) can dig up that great "Open Discussion" thread from a ways back. That was a great discussion of this topic...



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Oct. 3, 2000
    Location
    Toronto, a city that\'s not won a Stanley Cup in my damned lifetime
    Posts
    2,554

    Default

    1. He's compassionate and warm;
    2. He's smart;
    3. He's open-minded;
    4. He's a brave and confident soul in a world that, at times, doesn't want him to be;
    5. He promised Alice to me. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img]

    I shall even forgive him his plaid shirt - dear, you are taking this Canadian lumberjack thing a tad too seriously. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jul. 9, 2000
    Location
    All the way from CA to Richmond, VA!
    Posts
    573

    Default

    You just made me remember how much I miss all my sisters I had to leave behind in northern California. Know that you are loved even by those that have never met you!

    Taryn
    "Wherever man has left his footprint in the long ascent from barbarism to civilization, we will find the hoofprint of the horse beside it." ~John Moore



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jul. 17, 2000
    Location
    charlotte, NC USA
    Posts
    4,178

    Default

    Go Jair Go!
    What a good example you show for anyone who may struggle with this issue!
    The witchy witch witch of south central NC.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jun. 22, 2000
    Location
    midwest
    Posts
    1,577

    Default

    At the risk of being redundant (everyone has expressed themselves so well!) [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

    Know yourself and be yourself! Happiness will follow, even if the path is difficult.

    Jair, thank you for opening up this thread where anyone can feel comforted even if they are "just" a lurker!!
    \"If you feel you had a bad ride, how do you think your horse feels?\"



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 1999
    Location
    Pepperland
    Posts
    978

    Default

    Jair, I really appreciated reading your post. It came at a particularly opportune time for me as I am struggling with my own homosexuality issues as we speak. The issue is not whether I am or am not (thank god that's over with!) but instead over how very ignorant and narrow-minded the majority of people are concerning this sensitive subject. Currently my girlfriend (22 years old and financially independent) is having World War III with her parents because they refuse to accept her for what she is. They even go so far as to say that THEY WILL NOT LOVE HER ANYMORE OR BE HER PARENTS if she persists with her "deviant lifestyle." I find this to be so outrageous I can hardly keep myself from spitting when I think about it. Can you imagine witholding love from your children because they are different? Can you imagine forcing them to lie to you because they are afraid that you will hate them and reject them? I beg all of you parents to be open-minded if your children come to you with the "news" of their sexuality. The pain and hurt that parents like my girlfriend's cause is irreparable. I think it is wholly unforgiveable.
    "Men tended to discount the capacity of animals to enact, often with considerable panache, the foulest of crimes and the most daring stunts." --Michael Chabon

    Smile! It won't mess up your hair!



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