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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan. 23, 2000
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    556

    Default

    Well, there are already some very funny Vet Quotes, how about some amusing Trainer Quotes?

    The trainer I work for told one of the customers that she was gripping so hard with her legs she resembled a tick on a dog....!!!
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    walmart free since 2003

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan. 23, 2000
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    556

    Default

    Well, there are already some very funny Vet Quotes, how about some amusing Trainer Quotes?

    The trainer I work for told one of the customers that she was gripping so hard with her legs she resembled a tick on a dog....!!!
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    walmart free since 2003

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb. 24, 2000
    Location
    Alexandria, VA USA
    Posts
    1,859

    Default

    The Base is your friend and the way you ride you can NEVER have enough friends....

    If they gave frequent flyer miles for long spots, then the last long distance you left to that jump would take you to Pluto and back with miles to spare.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar. 18, 2002
    Posts
    29

    Default

    During a flat lesson as a young and naive junior:

    "Get off that horse. I'll teach you how to sit the trot."



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov. 5, 2001
    Posts
    3,962

    Default

    "So what would that make it now?? THREE bottles of wine?!?" [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

    "That might look good to the ladies in the lounge, but do it AGAIN and get it RIGHT!!"

    "Oh thats ok, I'm dislexic!!(sp?)"

    "She's quite the pissy little thing isn't she?!?"

    "Get up you bitchy little mare!?!"

    "what sound do horses make? NEEEEIIGH! NEEEIIIGH!!thats right, NEEIGHHH!"

    ~It's ACTUALLY all about me, me, me, NOT about her, her, her..(the only signature worthy of a REAL DQ, not the diet version..[only one calorie, not snobby enough!])
    Nothing worth having comes easily.



  6. #6

    Default

    I told Chris that if I ate a distance that I would add down the line he responded with "okay but don't eat the first one"

    Also "I lost his attention in that corner and it took the distance away" which was met with " well yes but the rest of it wasn't very good either was it?"

    "You are aware that you skipped the last line aren't you?"

    and my all time favorite "For the love of God, don't fall off!!!!" (because I was getting a little confused, which do I want to do? Stay on or fall off? I hate it when I get confused...)

    Seen on a Centre College Democrats T-Shirt
    "Because no one ever said they wanted a good piece of elephant."
    \"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.\"

    \"Betwixt the stirrup and the ground, mercy I asked and mercy I found.\"



  7. #7
    Join Date
    May. 5, 2000
    Location
    Aiken, SC
    Posts
    2,371

    Default

    "Indians used to ride without stirrups all the time and they only fell off when they got shot by a cowboy"

    "You are about as useless as chicken poo on a pump handle"

    "He who knows most knows best how little he knows."
    Thomas Jefferson



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar. 7, 2000
    Location
    Ashfield, MA USA
    Posts
    2,850

    Default

    "What were you thinking?"


    My favorite quote from student to trainer:

    "The jump was in the wrong spot."

    Response: "If I move it, do you think you'll find it better?"



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct. 13, 2000
    Posts
    6,279

    Default

    I've heard, "It's too bad that the jump got in the way of your distance!"

    ~Christina~
    "I don't patronize bunny rabbits!" -Heathers
    *Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.*



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec. 30, 2000
    Location
    Camden, SC
    Posts
    1,644

    Default

    But most of them can't be repeated in public (Note to the SCers: The Paddock is not considered "public" so it's perfectly okay to shout them out in there..)

    The only one I can think of right now is:

    "It's a hula.. not a hump.. huuuuula, not a hump.. No, no. That's a hump. That's still a hump. HULA! HULAHULAHULA!"

    ---------
    Delighted Studios - I'm not too proud to beg.
    ---------
    Delighted Studios - I\'m not too proud to beg.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb. 8, 2000
    Location
    Southern Maryland
    Posts
    1,363

    Default

    Does a dressage one count?

    I'll use the PG-13 version here. I'll set the stage, me in college at the time, trainer a crotchety old guy, and I was posting way too high.

    "Treat your pommel as you would your boyfriend, tease it a bit."

    There was more, but I won't write it here. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    --Therese
    - Therese

    "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb. 5, 2002
    Location
    Sweet Home Alabama
    Posts
    1,213

    Default

    yea, in a dressage lesson when i was like 16 my trainer said,
    "you look like you're humping the saddle, you're too young for that!" b/c i had the tendancy to hunch over and not sit up straight in dressage.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov. 7, 2000
    Location
    CA NA DA
    Posts
    5,601

    Default

    I was a sloucher when I was young to and with my last coach I'd always get "You look like a dog humping a football!"

    < Patience, grasshopper [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img] >
    ~ they tease you cause they like you ~



  14. #14
    Guest

    Default

    My personal two faves (Both in the same lesson....yeah, that was a rough lesson, lol.)

    * Only an IDIOT wouldnt feel the difference in that trot!!!! * I, of course, could NOT feel the difference, lol.

    * Of course your horse isn't going to get it right, because you've screwed it up so many times before! *

    Sigh....

    *It's Your Life. Star in It.*

    *Tuff To Be Black*
    *Every So Often*
    * http://community.webshots.com/user/texaseqstar *



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun. 21, 1999
    Posts
    899

    Default

    Boobs out. You both don't have to jump flat!

    Just one more time and I will let you quit.
    Okay that was great do it again so that we know it is skill and not luck.
    As long as he/she is being good lets give it another try.
    Just one more time and I will let you stop.
    \"The credit belongs to those people who are actually in the arena...who know the great enthusiasms, the great devotions to a worthy cause; who at best, know the triumph of high achievement; and who, at worst, fail while daring greatly, so that their



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 1, 2002
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,275

    Default

    Darn, Frank has so many and of course I can't think of any right now..... Maybe kachoo can help!

    My favorite all time, after Frank and I got our signals crossed yet again. "Never Assume!! It makes an A$$ out of U and ME" I've heard that so many times, that now I can judge when he is about to say it to some poor kid and can mouth it along behind his back.

    Oh, and I loved his comment after one prelim round "That was as exciting as watching paint dry". We won the class anyhow!!

    I'll add more as they come to me, I haven't been around him for awhile so I'm a little rusty.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov. 5, 2001
    Posts
    3,962

    Default

    "Ok, go around and do that EXACTLY the same, only better" [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

    ~It's ACTUALLY all about me, me, me, NOT about her, her, her..(the only signature worthy of a REAL DQ, not the diet version..[only one calorie, not snobby enough!])
    Nothing worth having comes easily.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Feb. 7, 2000
    Location
    Nottingham, UK
    Posts
    1,356

    Default

    A dressage trainer to a girl that tends to ride with her reins long...

    "Get your hands out of your lap! Are you masturbating or riding??"

    Aleesha



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Apr. 8, 2000
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Posts
    5,484

    Default

    "Give me those damn stirrups NOW"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ONE MORE MONTH!!!!!!!!!
    OMG OMG ONE MORE MONTH!!!!!!!!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    My adventures as a working rider

    theworkingrider.blogspot.com



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Dec. 7, 2000
    Location
    Ocala, FL...Corryton, TN
    Posts
    646

    Default

    one time in Florida this was said by a very well known trainer to a famous junior rider after she had EATEN a single in the hunter classic:
    "DAMMIT! If you wanted yellow flowers that bad I would have gone to Wal-Mart and bought you some! Then I wouldnt have wasted $50!!!"
    I have also heard...
    "Well, you won't be needing lunch or dinner today will you? I mean you should be full after eating all those jumps!" LOL!
    Those jump crack me up...there are more but they aren't appropriate for the BB! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img]

    *Sarah Beth*
    *Sarah Beth*
    \"Falling\'s part of the game. It\'s like my dad always says: \"No matter how good you are, the ice is still slippery!\" -Michelle Kwan



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