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  1. #101
    Join Date
    Sep. 4, 2001
    Location
    Calabasas, CA USA
    Posts
    485

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    Sorry to resurrect this thread...but I had been reading this yesterday and had never actually run over an animal in the two and a half years I'd been driving. Then today, I was driving to the LA horse show and a bird dropped down in front of my car. It was quite strange, he just kind of plopped to the ground...I didn't have time to stop or swerve but he was right in the middle so I figured everything would be ok, my car would go over him but he wouldnt be hurt. Of course, I am just going over him and I hear a THUMP and a teensy jolt...The dang bird must have realized my car was going over him and taken off, right into the bottom of my car...! What a dumb animal! I felt SO BAD, but it was his own darn fault, he would have been just fine too. I just found it strange that I'd never harmed an animal, then I read this thread and BAM, dead bird on the bottom of my car...so not ok.

    "Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive." - Van Wilder
    "You can pick your nose and pick your friends, but you can't wipe your friends on the couch."
    \"Don\'t take life too seriously, you\'ll never get out alive.\" - Van Wilder
    \"You can pick your nose and pick your friends, but you can\'t wipe your friends on the couch.\"



  2. #102
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2002
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    101

    Default

    Every time I read this thread I crack up...this from someone who cried when she ran over a possum. (My boyfriend calling my car a Possum Pancake Maker for months afterwards didn't help.)

    "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -- Anonymous
    \"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.\" -- Anonymous




  3. #103
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2002
    Location
    Union Bridge, MD
    Posts
    402

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    I never saw this thread, but because of the recent bump, it made me laugh! It also reminds me of the time I hit that bird....

    One morning driving to work, two sparrows swooped in front of my truck, and only one flew away. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img] I thought the other one had go back the other way... (Wishful thinking) [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

    Well, 20 minutes later I get to work and happen to walk past the front of my truck and see these feet and a wing sticking out of the bumper. Boy did I feel bad for the critter. He got wedged into the bumper and I had to get someone to pull him out. Hope it was a quick death.

    [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

    Looking back though it was kind of funny. Not too often you actually "catch" a bird in the bumper...

    I have hit many squirrels though, I don't brake any more after I totaled my first car trying to avoid one. Can't afford that kind of sacrifice...

    Life is a journey, enjoy it. Riding just makes it better!
    You've got to be kidding....



  4. #104
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2002
    Location
    Hot Springs, AR
    Posts
    1,122

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    Yesterday I was driving down the main road here in the campus that goes straight through the middle of campus, so I could get to the post office. Well, you have to stop for pedestrians here- they walk right out in front of you, whether you're paying attention or not. So as I am preparing to move, suddenly, a squirrel (who is LOOKING at me through my window no less!) starts to walk across the street. Traffic stops for him. He just keeps on a lookin' at me. Everyone in the area just starts laughing their rears off. I knew that the campus squirrels were domisticated (they read playboys and the like), but never in my life expected THAT out of one!

    Sarah

    "Half the failures in life arise from pulling in one's horse as he is leaping."~ Julius Hare
    ________
    Sarah
    formerly known as Alohamora
    \"Half the failures in life arise from pulling in one\'s horse as he is leaping.\"~ Julius Hare



  5. #105
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2002
    Location
    Rocky Mountain High
    Posts
    2,413

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    OMG...I don't think I've ever tried so hard NOT to laugh in my life. I about spit a sip of water on my computer screen. My coworkers officially think I'm nuts!

    Now, for my addition to the Roadkill Hall of Fame:
    I was the DD at a friend's party a few years ago, and was volunteered to make a beer run when they ran out. I drove my friend's car since mine was blocked in, and 2 of my friends went with me. We're driving down a back country 2-lane road at 11:30 p.m. to go to the all-night drive through, when suddenly, I see some motion to the left of the road. It happened so fast, there was hardly time to react - a deer jumped out and ran across the road. I slammed on the brakes, but just barely hit him - caught his hind end with the right corner of the car. There was a THUD, and I saw something fly up over the car. The deer hobbled off into the woods (never saw him again), and we stopped to check the damage. The grill was broken, headlight cracked, fur stuck in the front...but the grossest thing we found was when we walked behind the car. A few feet back, the deer's RIGHT HIND LEG lay in the middle of the road! That's what flew up over the car! I had totally SEVERED this stupid deer's leg.

    I doubt he lived. I was messed up for days. I can't imagine what would have happened if I, the DD, hadn't been making that beer run. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

    That's the only thing I've ever hit, thankfully, aside from some already-dead roadkill smooshed to the road.
    "These are my principles. If you do not like them, I have others." --Groucho Marx



  6. #106
    Join Date
    Oct. 5, 1999
    Location
    A place called vertigo
    Posts
    13,439

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    So dogchushu and Goodytowshoes get to be president and vice president of the Bunny Killer Clique.



  7. #107
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2002
    Location
    Rocky Mountain High
    Posts
    2,413

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    I was reading some of these to my bf, when he broke out in a Phish song:

    "Possum...possum....your head is the ROAD!"

    and of course, my favorite:
    "You got your dead cats and you got your dead dogs, on a moonlit night you got your dead toad frogs" - "Dead skunk in the middle of the road"
    "These are my principles. If you do not like them, I have others." --Groucho Marx



  8. #108
    Join Date
    Feb. 21, 2000
    Posts
    1,913

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    This thread always comes back to haunt me..just like the vision of the bunny stuck to my grill.

    To prove there IS karma - the bunny-killing station wagon's engine imploded on the highway this past summer, so bugs got his bit in.

    To this day, when my hubby calls me at work, he says "hey killer, how's it going?". He and his family will never let me forget it, because they hunt and I have never been a fan. And there I go and do that!!!!



  9. #109
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2001
    Location
    MD, USA
    Posts
    4,822

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    Thanks Flash, I was hoping to forget my bunny killing experience! But since you brought it up... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

    Last Monday, I was mowing my lawn and (yup, you guessed it) I ran over a baby bunny. Yes, very gross. Yes, very sad. But it gets worse.

    I was using a little manual push mower, so it didn't really have the power to completely destroy the bunny. Nope, I just mortally wounded the poor thing. The bunny's front end was still working, but its back end was paralyzed (I think I must have severed its spinal cord).

    I was very upset. However, the dozen or so 8-10 year old children playing right next to my lawn were horrified! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

    Kids were crying, shrieking, wailing. And I was wondering how I was going to put the poor baby bunny out of its misery.

    I knew was I was not about to pick it up with my bare hands. So I reached through my front door to grab a pair of gloves. And, in the process, let the dogs out.

    So there I am, chasing a 1/2 paralyzed baby bunny down the sidewalk (a 1/2 paralyzed baby bunny that has suddenly gotten much much faster) while trying to keep my dogs from running into the street.

    Children are still crying, shrieking, wailing.

    Then, suddenly, my younger dog runs between my legs, snatches up the poor baby bunny, and shakes it. Killed it about instantly.

    Children stop crying, shrieking, wailing, and begin SCREAMING! Moms come running outside to see whatever is the matter.

    Everyone is yelling "bad doggie." I am thinking "thank you doggie--now I don't have to kill the bunny." Doggie is prancing around in a most lovely extended trot showing off his fresh baby bunny kill! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

    Finally, we buried the bunny under a flower bush with a lot of snifling and moms saying the bunny is in heaven now. Lots of angry looks at the "bad doggie."

    Of course, I have been informed by one of the mothers that I will probably get no trick or treaters this year! I am the scarey bunny killing lady! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

    So don't feel bad Goodyfourshoes, at least you didn't traumatize young children with your bunny kill.



  10. #110
    Join Date
    Nov. 19, 2001
    Location
    Northern Virginia, U.S.A.
    Posts
    1,310

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    I can't breathe. I am just laughing too hard. After my awful week with an animal on the verge of death I don't know why I am laughing at this but it's just so .... bizarre and funny.

    God bless this thread!!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]



  11. #111
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2000
    Posts
    3,691

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    A family friend of ours was at school the other day (I'm guessing he's about 2nd grade) and some kid had brought in his dad's favourite homing pigeon for Show and Tell.

    So the class goes outside and releases the pigeon whereupon a red-tailed hawk comes swooping down and just nails the thing right in fornt of the horrified group of kids, then proceeds to sit on the front of the school and eat it. Blood and feathers everywhere. Major freakout...

    There was a lot of coughing and lip-biting when the parents were informed (and out and out laughter later behind closed doors) and the kids, being kids, will probably forget all about it in a week, the poor teacher on the other hand may never recover..... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img]



  12. #112
    Join Date
    Feb. 8, 2002
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    1,477

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    this shouldn't be funny, but it is for some sick reason.

    -----------------------------
    "If all goes well, you've overlooked something."
    "Humpty Dumpty was pushed."
    http://community.webshots.com/user/domino4100



  13. #113
    Join Date
    Aug. 30, 2002
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    382

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    This is the funniest thread I've ever seen!

    I live a block from a lake, and oftentimes the ducks walk up the street and into the yards. One time I counted 40 ducks in our yard! Anyway, I was backing out of the driveway and drove over a duck. I made my dad pick it up.

    Another time a suicidal little birdie flew into my truck and like someone else posted, was surprised to not see the bird fly up after it hit me. Yep, you guessed it, when I got home I had fried birdie inside my grill. And yep, you guessed it, I had my dad get it out.

    I hit a deer once with my little Toyota Corolla. It appeared out of nowhere. The deer died, and the only damage to my car (unbelievably) was having to pay $14 for a new light.

    I also hit a dog once when it's owners let it out of the house, and it ran right into the street in front of my car. Luckily I was going pretty slow. The dog got up and walked up to the house.

    One time I was a passenger in someone's truck and I was sticking my head out of the window (wearing my sunglasses), and a big bug hit my glasses and squashed all over the lens.

    "No matter where you go, there you are"



  14. #114
    Guest

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    This isn't really the same.....

    I was in 3rd grade, and my rather, um...I dunno, weird friend brought a parakeet to school. Now, something happened to it or something, it got mortally wounded, and she called her dad and he told her to wring it's neck. Um.....?!?!? And she DID. I just remember riding home on the bus...sitting next to the dead parakeet. Crazy [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

    * B E L E N *
    *Larks Caruso* / *Every So Often*
    The brave may not live forever, but the cautious don't live at all.



  15. #115
    Join Date
    Jan. 6, 2002
    Location
    No.VA and Chicago,IL
    Posts
    297

    Default

    ROFLMAO my boyfriend recently told me of his friend who did the EXACT same thing you did , same situation, same placement of bunny, everything...
    oh man.... SORRY I would freak out too! Shniffy.

    "We came, we rode, we conquered."
    *Member of the TB Clique, Young Trainers clique and the Disgruntled College Student Clique.*
    \"We came, we rode, we conquered.\"
    *Member of the TB Clique, Young Trainers clique and the Disgruntled College Student Clique.*



  16. #116
    Join Date
    Apr. 17, 2002
    Location
    Deep space - corner of no and where (aka Texas)
    Posts
    2,513

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    Maggymay, I am LMAO! The mental picture of the poor hapless pigeon and the hungry hawk is absolutely hysterical!
    Thank you for making my day!
    Yes, folks, I am sick. I'm getting it looked into, don't worry. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]


    ******************

    "Because he dodges bullets, Avi!!"
    *****************************************

    Book: If you take advantage of her, you\'re going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. Firefly



  17. #117
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2002
    Location
    Minnesota, U S of A
    Posts
    132

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    Years ago my boyfriend and I decided to get married the following Tuesday on his birthday. At work on Wednesday, a computer tape fell out of a rack and hit me above the lip. I got sent to a doctor ("NO stiches-I'm eloping netxt week!") but since flesh was missing I got sent to a plastic surgeon. She put four tiny little stitches in my lip (and congratulated me on my up-coming elopement- "we'll take the stitches out the day before"). I notify boyfriend. After work, I head out to feed the horse. It's toward the end of November, very dark already, I'm in four lanes of traffic and a kamikaze deer jumps out in front of my car. I pull over, deer is twitching in the road. A cop comes, sees the stitches in my lip, and asks if I was hurt. I'm more worried about the still-twitching deer. The cop asks if I want it. Yeah, I'll just grab my knife in my teeth and wade in dressed in my skirt and heels and field dress it. (I told him to give it to charity or anything.) Very calmly I file my report. Very calmly I drive the smashed car home. I get into the apartment, take one look at BF, and break down sobbing "I killed Bambi's mother!"

    It took a trip to the parking lot for him to figure out what the heck his soon-to-be-bride was hysterical about.



  18. #118
    Join Date
    Oct. 19, 2001
    Location
    where money does not grow on trees....
    Posts
    465

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    Goodyfourshoes and Dogchushu you've brightened up my friday. May all the animals maimed or killed by COTH posters rest in peace. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    "Friends don't let friends reply to all"
    \"Friends don\'t let friends reply to all\"



  19. #119
    Join Date
    Feb. 21, 2000
    Posts
    1,913

    Default

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jynx:
    I'm more worried about the still-twitching deer. The cop asks if I want it. Yeah, I'll just grab my knife in my teeth and wade in dressed in my skirt and heels and field dress it. .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    HEE heee heee Ho Ho Ho...I have this bizarre mental picture...oh dear it must be Friday....


    [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]



  20. #120
    Join Date
    Apr. 17, 2002
    Location
    The land of evil boys.
    Posts
    981

    Default

    This thread is hilarious (although, somewhat sickening)!

    I hit a bunny last summer on the way to the barn; it ran so fast in front of me that I couldn't even brake. I shrieked, looked in the rearview mirror, and saw that it's leg was up in the air doing a little dance. It was awful, I got to the barn in hysterics...... "hicc-Ijust-sobhicc-kill-hic-BUNNNNYYYYY!!"
    **Member of the Ocularly Challenged Equine Support Group**



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