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  1. #221
    Join Date
    Oct. 4, 2010
    Location
    Middle America
    Posts
    515

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tapperjockey View Post
    Yeah 20 years ago was a LONG time ago. Insurance prices are a lot higher now. So is gas. And college is a lot more important now. You can't compare things now, to things then. But, 15 years ago, when I got my DL, and when I got my job permit, both required a parental signature and I believe that the license required my birth certificate and the job required my social security card, both of which until that time, had been in the care of my parents. You can't just go out and get a DL without parental consent/cooperation.
    Quote Originally Posted by skittlespony View Post
    All this is true not to mention to registry is an hour and 15 minutes from where I live, and that's the closest one.
    Ah, I see. Kids must just not drive or have jobs these days.

    Seriously, though: you can form a plan to achieve your goals. I had a job starting in high school AND through college. In graduate school, I had 3 jobs. That paid for rent and food and gas. In order to RIDE on top of all that, I had to work off my lessons by cleaning stalls on top of my "real" job. Until I was 30.

    I'm sorry, but it's simple. It's just not easy.
    In order to think outside the box, one must first know what is in the box.



  2. #222
    Join Date
    Jun. 17, 2001
    Location
    down the road from bar.ka
    Posts
    30,690

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    Not only did I not get transported round trip to 2 lessons a week, I never got a car either. AND I was not allowed to drive without a parent in ugly and uncool family sedan even AFTER I got my license-a whole year after I was eligible.

    I turned out unscarred.

    Makes it a little difficult to develop any empathy on that front. Except maybe for the parents.
    When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

    The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.



  3. #223
    Join Date
    Oct. 4, 2010
    Location
    Middle America
    Posts
    515

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    Quote Originally Posted by findeight View Post
    Not only did I not get transported round trip to 2 lessons a week, I never got a car either. AND I was not allowed to drive without a parent in ugly and uncool family sedan even AFTER I got my license-a whole year after I was eligible.

    I turned out unscarred.

    Makes it a little difficult to develop any empathy on that front. Except maybe for the parents.
    I definitely makes me realize how lucky I am that not only did the evidently sub-par parenting I receive not scar me, I'm not even very bitter about it!

    First-world problems indeed.

    I'd like Skittles to notice that most of the people who've posted on this thread haven't worried for you over your lessons or your riding ability.

    What most of us DO seem to agree on is that
    a )it might behoove you to take steps toward some independence from your parents, both financial and otherwise, by initiating the steps towards driving and having a job;
    and
    b) whatever riding you do now, at 17, does not have to be (and I hope isn't!) the pinnacle of your life with horses.
    In order to think outside the box, one must first know what is in the box.



  4. #224
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2012
    Posts
    876

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kadenz View Post
    Ah, I see. Kids must just not drive or have jobs these days.

    .
    Many do, just as many don't. It all depends on their parents. Some parents don't want their children working, or driving, and until they are 18, then that's how it goes.
    I have CDO. It's like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order, as they should be!



  5. #225
    Join Date
    Feb. 8, 2004
    Location
    Rolling hills of Virginny
    Posts
    5,935

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tapperjockey View Post
    Many do, just as many don't. It all depends on their parents. Some parents don't want their children working, or driving, and until they are 18, then that's how it goes.

    Then they wonder why Tommy and Sue have turned out to be big, fat, lazy, entitled lumps.

    Couldn't possibly have anything to do with them not wanting their Preshuss to learn anything about paying their own way, or working for what they want, now could it?
    The plural of anecdote is not data.



  6. #226
    Join Date
    Dec. 21, 2008
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    842

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    Get your drivers license! I don't care how much effort and difficult to coordinate it is. Get it. One of our family friend's daughter just recently got her license at age 24. It will make you, your parents, everyone happier. And I don't know about your insurance, I was lucky enough that my grades gave my parents a significant discount on insurance.

    Be thankful for what you have. Bottom line. You don't have to do it all yourself to appreciate your riding and what you have. I was lucky enough to have a horse, lesson 1x a week, show at local shows and 4-H. And my parents paid for it. But I also earned straight A grades in an advanced academic program in school, was involved in the drama program in highschool and earned enough scholarships that my parents never had to pay for college. And because they considered my going to school and getting good grades my job.

    I was lucky. So are you. Talk to your parents about how you feel. It's hard. I know as a teenager I was not good as discussing my feelings with my parents if I felt slighted. Think about what is going to help you in the long run. You are 17 so I'm assuming a junior in high school. Have you started looking at colleges, taken the PSAT? Jumping 3'0" isnt going to help you get a job or get into college. Take a deep breath, look at the big picture, and think about how riding fits into that picture. If its your passion, set goals but be realistic about what is feasible with what you have available and what you see yourself doing. If getting a job, trying to ride more, etc is going to cause you to do poorly at school then it isn't a good idea. I would live to ride 5 days a week but i cant. Being in school makes that not feasible FOR ME. Some people can do it all abd do it well. Other people can't. But if you can realistically handle it then go for it.



  7. #227
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2012
    Posts
    876

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    Quote Originally Posted by arabhorse2 View Post
    Then they wonder why Tommy and Sue have turned out to be big, fat, lazy, entitled lumps.

    Couldn't possibly have anything to do with them not wanting their Preshuss to learn anything about paying their own way, or working for what they want, now could it?
    Or it could mean that they don't want their child dead. Motor Vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death for teenagers in that age range.
    I have CDO. It's like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order, as they should be!



  8. #228
    Join Date
    Jun. 12, 2009
    Posts
    47

    Default

    I'm going to write a novel so I hope you're all comfortable

    People all mature at different rates, this is not necessarily an indication of a character flaw, just the way it is. Nature, nurture, experiences, peer groups, all of it comes together in determining where someone is "mentally" in life. There's no point fixating on the OPs age and where she "should" be. She has apologized for all of the elaborate lies and defensive sniping that she has made in the past. She has not behaved perfectly in this particular thread but it is clear she is trying. Part of being a teenager is that you don't have the experience to know what you don't know. It takes age and experience for anyone to recognize the privileges they have in their lives. The riding world is so full of extreme privilege, it can be especially hard for a young person who is in an average to above average financial situation to realize how much more they have than others. Hopefully the OP's eyes are starting to open to this and will continue to with age and experience. As for a driver's license, I know I dragged my feet about getting mine for awhile because I had some anxiety about driving that I didn't want to acknowledge. I kept telling myself that I didn't have the time, the weather wasn't good enough, etc. Eventually I just bit the bullet and got the license but still tried to not drive as much as I could get away with. After awhile I was forced to get enough solo practice that I got more comfortable with it and eventually became a pretty confident driver. I don't know if this applies to Skittles at all but I wouldn't be in a rush to condemn her for not getting the license immediately. There are a number of perfectly legitimate reasons to put it off.

    Skittles- in order to have competitive success in riding a lot of factors need to come together at the same time. To get to the 3-foot ring you need the ability to jump the hight, the horse who can take you there, the trainer that can take you there, the money to finance your riding and showing, and the health of yourself and the horse to hold up to the demands. Some of these things you will have little control over, others you have more control over. I try to break each element down to see what I can do to increase the chances of all of these things working out. I'm giving you my suggestions for the things you can do to increase the odds of creating a perfect storm.

    1. Riding ability

    Do what you can to get the best possible instruction when you do ride, this may involve talking to your current trainer to see if you can get more out of your lessons or finding a new trainer. If you think you can work things out with your current trainer I would suggest asking her if you could have a chat about your goals. Let her know that you would like to get your jumping rounds more consistent. Ask her for an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses as a rider and develop a plan to work on those weaknesses. You must make sure that you are able to welcome this critique as an important part of achieving your goals. You seem to have a somewhat reactive/defensive personality and you have to make sure that you can put that aside and really hear what your trainer is telling you. Thank her profusely for taking the time to have the meeting and let her know how much you appreciate her honest feedback.

    Next you need to take a hard look at all of the things that you can do out of the saddle that will make you a better rider. Staying physically fit is great, however riding is 90% mental and from your posts it seems like you really need to spend some time getting into the mental game

    Did you read this when it was first going around?
    http://frwdnrnd.wordpress.com/2012/0...medium=twitter

    It's a really great article and you can work on all of these skills ALL of the time and they will help you not just in riding, but ALL walks of life. Best of all, working on them is totally free!

    Start with your situation, first have patience. The great thing about having a 3ft goal is that there's no need to put any kind of timeline on it. Forget about trying to hit some marker before aging out of the juniors. The exact same 3ft divisions exist for adults as they do for juniors (aside from large pony hunters). Keep your timeframe open ended and look to work towards achievable benchmarks (getting yourself jumping more consistently at a low height might be a place to start).

    Same goes for all of the other qualities. Have an open-mind about what others tell you- even if it's uncomfortable to hear. Be persistent and don't allow minor roadblocks to derail your progress. Be effective in everything that you do, including communication with your trainer and parents. Always look to improve yourself as a rider, student, and human being. Look at the big picture- you may be at a plateau but it's no reason to get overly discouraged, you are young and the rest of your riding career is ahead of you, make decisions that reap long-term rewards.

    Find good role models, you sound like you are somewhat socially isolated from others at your barn. Really try to find a way to connect with others who share your passion no matter how old or young they are. Try to let go of the negativity you have to those who have more and have achieved more than you. This can have side benefits of giving you relationships and connections to people who own or lease. If I'm not able to ride my horse for some reason, I always look to my friends when finding a rider for him. You need to work on showing humility and gratitude- this is huge in increasing your chances of getting free riding opportunities.

    Be a problem-solver. Sometimes you have low moments and you just need to vent them (which is why it is good to have good horse friends who know you well enough to let you vent without getting sick of you). However most of the times when you are presented with a problem, find a way to solve it. YOURSELF. Not by hoping that you'll get handed something but by being proactive and making things work for yourself, even if part of that is amending your expectations.

    Finally, work on your listening skills. It seems like you have come a long way since your earlier posts on this forum. Keep up the forward momentum. Learning to listen to overt and covert communication from humans will have you to be more perceptive to horse cues.

    2. Horse

    Determine what is realistically available to you horse-wise and work with what you have while trying to increase the likelihood of getting rides. If you can find a way to get your license, get a part time job and pay for a half-lease, great. If that's not feasible, figure out what is reasonable to expect of the schoolies you have access to (and accept that you will not be their sole rider). Cultivate relationships with everyone that you meet. Be the person who is always offering to help, never has an unkind word to say about anyone, takes immaculate care of her rides, and always is gracious about what she has. These are the people who are more likely to get extra rides.

    3. Trainer

    Figure out how far you can reasonably expect your trainer to take you (this may be limited by her school horses). Do some research to see what your options are and make a decision accordingly

    4. $$

    You may not be able to do a part-time job for whatever reason. If you can't do a regular gig, do odd jobs (babysit, pull manes, braid, clip, dog-walk, housesit WHATEVER). Even if you get offered a free ride on a nice horse, no one is going to pay for your showing expenses. Have some savings so if everything else manages to come together this does not hold you back from making the most of it.

    5. Your health

    Take care of yourself, you only get one body. It may take time for you to get where you want to go and the last thing you want is to find that your body won't let you move further because you didn't take good care of it when you were younger.

    6. Your horse's health and soundness

    This is a crapshoot, close your eyes and pray real hard







    If this post weren't long enough, one last thing. I actually understand how you are feeling about your parents. Mine are similarly disinterested but I was lucky enough to have them drive me to and pay for once weekly lessons until I got my license. At most barns you are surrounded by kids who have extremely involved parents as this sport is a hard one to break into without heavy parental involvement. Even though I am now an adult, I still look at the kids in my barn when they are with their parents and dream of what could have been. It is such an incredible thing to be able to share your passion with your parents and I would have loved to have my mom by my side to share the love of riding and horses. It is still a little sad to me that I will never have that. However this is not a reflection of a fault in my parents, it just means that we have different interests and that is ok. You need to make more friends at the barn so you have other people to share the ups and downs with who will appreciate them. This board is not the place for that. Your friends will know you, you can let the not so great parts of yourself show with friends, you can't do that with strangers on the internet. Make some friends. Be happy for their achievements and become part of their team- they are likely to return the favor.

    If you didn't get through all of that here's the bottom line, when opportunity knocks, be ready.


    Whew. My fingers are crampy.



  9. #229
    Join Date
    Jan. 11, 2009
    Posts
    293

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by comeoutandplay View Post
    I'm going to write a novel so I hope you're all comfortable

    People all mature at different rates, this is not necessarily an indication of a character flaw, just the way it is. Nature, nurture, experiences, peer groups, all of it comes together in determining where someone is "mentally" in life. There's no point fixating on the OPs age and where she "should" be. She has apologized for all of the elaborate lies and defensive sniping that she has made in the past. She has not behaved perfectly in this particular thread but it is clear she is trying. Part of being a teenager is that you don't have the experience to know what you don't know. It takes age and experience for anyone to recognize the privileges they have in their lives. The riding world is so full of extreme privilege, it can be especially hard for a young person who is in an average to above average financial situation to realize how much more they have than others. Hopefully the OP's eyes are starting to open to this and will continue to with age and experience. As for a driver's license, I know I dragged my feet about getting mine for awhile because I had some anxiety about driving that I didn't want to acknowledge. I kept telling myself that I didn't have the time, the weather wasn't good enough, etc. Eventually I just bit the bullet and got the license but still tried to not drive as much as I could get away with. After awhile I was forced to get enough solo practice that I got more comfortable with it and eventually became a pretty confident driver. I don't know if this applies to Skittles at all but I wouldn't be in a rush to condemn her for not getting the license immediately. There are a number of perfectly legitimate reasons to put it off.

    Skittles- in order to have competitive success in riding a lot of factors need to come together at the same time. To get to the 3-foot ring you need the ability to jump the hight, the horse who can take you there, the trainer that can take you there, the money to finance your riding and showing, and the health of yourself and the horse to hold up to the demands. Some of these things you will have little control over, others you have more control over. I try to break each element down to see what I can do to increase the chances of all of these things working out. I'm giving you my suggestions for the things you can do to increase the odds of creating a perfect storm.

    1. Riding ability

    Do what you can to get the best possible instruction when you do ride, this may involve talking to your current trainer to see if you can get more out of your lessons or finding a new trainer. If you think you can work things out with your current trainer I would suggest asking her if you could have a chat about your goals. Let her know that you would like to get your jumping rounds more consistent. Ask her for an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses as a rider and develop a plan to work on those weaknesses. You must make sure that you are able to welcome this critique as an important part of achieving your goals. You seem to have a somewhat reactive/defensive personality and you have to make sure that you can put that aside and really hear what your trainer is telling you. Thank her profusely for taking the time to have the meeting and let her know how much you appreciate her honest feedback.

    Next you need to take a hard look at all of the things that you can do out of the saddle that will make you a better rider. Staying physically fit is great, however riding is 90% mental and from your posts it seems like you really need to spend some time getting into the mental game

    Did you read this when it was first going around?
    http://frwdnrnd.wordpress.com/2012/0...medium=twitter

    It's a really great article and you can work on all of these skills ALL of the time and they will help you not just in riding, but ALL walks of life. Best of all, working on them is totally free!

    Start with your situation, first have patience. The great thing about having a 3ft goal is that there's no need to put any kind of timeline on it. Forget about trying to hit some marker before aging out of the juniors. The exact same 3ft divisions exist for adults as they do for juniors (aside from large pony hunters). Keep your timeframe open ended and look to work towards achievable benchmarks (getting yourself jumping more consistently at a low height might be a place to start).

    Same goes for all of the other qualities. Have an open-mind about what others tell you- even if it's uncomfortable to hear. Be persistent and don't allow minor roadblocks to derail your progress. Be effective in everything that you do, including communication with your trainer and parents. Always look to improve yourself as a rider, student, and human being. Look at the big picture- you may be at a plateau but it's no reason to get overly discouraged, you are young and the rest of your riding career is ahead of you, make decisions that reap long-term rewards.

    Find good role models, you sound like you are somewhat socially isolated from others at your barn. Really try to find a way to connect with others who share your passion no matter how old or young they are. Try to let go of the negativity you have to those who have more and have achieved more than you. This can have side benefits of giving you relationships and connections to people who own or lease. If I'm not able to ride my horse for some reason, I always look to my friends when finding a rider for him. You need to work on showing humility and gratitude- this is huge in increasing your chances of getting free riding opportunities.

    Be a problem-solver. Sometimes you have low moments and you just need to vent them (which is why it is good to have good horse friends who know you well enough to let you vent without getting sick of you). However most of the times when you are presented with a problem, find a way to solve it. YOURSELF. Not by hoping that you'll get handed something but by being proactive and making things work for yourself, even if part of that is amending your expectations.

    Finally, work on your listening skills. It seems like you have come a long way since your earlier posts on this forum. Keep up the forward momentum. Learning to listen to overt and covert communication from humans will have you to be more perceptive to horse cues.

    2. Horse

    Determine what is realistically available to you horse-wise and work with what you have while trying to increase the likelihood of getting rides. If you can find a way to get your license, get a part time job and pay for a half-lease, great. If that's not feasible, figure out what is reasonable to expect of the schoolies you have access to (and accept that you will not be their sole rider). Cultivate relationships with everyone that you meet. Be the person who is always offering to help, never has an unkind word to say about anyone, takes immaculate care of her rides, and always is gracious about what she has. These are the people who are more likely to get extra rides.

    3. Trainer

    Figure out how far you can reasonably expect your trainer to take you (this may be limited by her school horses). Do some research to see what your options are and make a decision accordingly

    4. $$

    You may not be able to do a part-time job for whatever reason. If you can't do a regular gig, do odd jobs (babysit, pull manes, braid, clip, dog-walk, housesit WHATEVER). Even if you get offered a free ride on a nice horse, no one is going to pay for your showing expenses. Have some savings so if everything else manages to come together this does not hold you back from making the most of it.

    5. Your health

    Take care of yourself, you only get one body. It may take time for you to get where you want to go and the last thing you want is to find that your body won't let you move further because you didn't take good care of it when you were younger.

    6. Your horse's health and soundness

    This is a crapshoot, close your eyes and pray real hard







    If this post weren't long enough, one last thing. I actually understand how you are feeling about your parents. Mine are similarly disinterested but I was lucky enough to have them drive me to and pay for once weekly lessons until I got my license. At most barns you are surrounded by kids who have extremely involved parents as this sport is a hard one to break into without heavy parental involvement. Even though I am now an adult, I still look at the kids in my barn when they are with their parents and dream of what could have been. It is such an incredible thing to be able to share your passion with your parents and I would have loved to have my mom by my side to share the love of riding and horses. It is still a little sad to me that I will never have that. However this is not a reflection of a fault in my parents, it just means that we have different interests and that is ok. You need to make more friends at the barn so you have other people to share the ups and downs with who will appreciate them. This board is not the place for that. Your friends will know you, you can let the not so great parts of yourself show with friends, you can't do that with strangers on the internet. Make some friends. Be happy for their achievements and become part of their team- they are likely to return the favor.

    If you didn't get through all of that here's the bottom line, when opportunity knocks, be ready.


    Whew. My fingers are crampy.
    about the cramped fingers, your keyboard must have been on fire.

    But thank you your post was understanding from the same point of view. It was to the point, and it really told me what I needed to hear. If everyone else opened my eyes and really put things in perspective it was definitely this. I thank and appreciate you very much for taking the time to write all this out.

    I'm going to try to make the most out of what I have available to me at the moment. If things look up I will stay where I am, but if they don't I might need to look elsewhere. I from now on am just going to try to find the best opportunities for myself.

    Thank you!
    Quote Originally Posted by SillyHorse View Post
    Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears George Morris pajamas.
    This pretty much sums up everything!



  10. #230
    Join Date
    Jan. 11, 2009
    Posts
    293

    Default

    Just to let everyone else know because it seems to be a trending thing that people can't let go. I understand that I am lucky that my parents pay for 2 lessons a week. I never said anything in this whole thread that I didn't appreciate that. I did say that that wasn't enough but that is also in no way not appreciating this from my parents. It is also not me asking them for anymore lessons or anymore money. I understand that my parents just can't afford to lease and to buy and I respect that as much as it disappoints me.

    People also seem to keep commenting on my saddle. Yeah I got rid of my clunker saddle and bought a nice one. That doesn't mean my parents footed the bill. Ever thought of the fact that I saved up my money and bought it myself. Well that is what I did and that's why I am proud to own that saddle because I paid for it myself. Same with my breeches and all the other stuff I have. I payed for most of it, I got some of it for christmas. But I'm pretty sure when you were kids your parents got you nice stuff for christmas too so it's not so different.

    The biggest thing that irritates me is the car. I understand that a good portion of youth who are driving either can't afford altogether or just don't have a car. I understand that I am lucky in this respect and in no way was I bragging. But once again such as the saddle above my parents did not buy this car for. Regardless of how nice and dumpy this car is, I payed for it myself. Yeah maybe my parents are paying for the insurance but they didn't buy the car.
    Quote Originally Posted by SillyHorse View Post
    Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears George Morris pajamas.
    This pretty much sums up everything!



  11. #231
    Join Date
    Apr. 2, 2011
    Location
    Westchester, NY
    Posts
    2,474

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by meupatdoes View Post
    And those rates will multiply by a factor of five when you are listed as one of the drivers. Which you currently cannot be, since you don't have a license.
    If she has a permit she can be listed on the insurance as a driver. She said she can't drive by herself, not that she can't at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by skittlespony View Post
    Yeah I got rid of my clunker saddle and bought a nice one. That doesn't mean my parents footed the bill. Ever thought of the fact that I saved up my money and bought it myself. Well that is what I did and that's why I am proud to own that saddle because I paid for it myself.
    You know, last year I thought the only way I going to get the perfect fit on a saddle was to go semi custom. I saved up the whole summer for it. Well things turned out a little differently and I ended up purchasing an OTTB. So now I had to decide where that money was best spent: as a cushion for the expenses my mother wouldn't cover and show miles on a greenie re-sell project, or to sit my butt in some french leather. Guess what I chose? I'll give you a hint: I ride in my trainer's old pancake flat no-knee pad Beval saddle. So that 3k you spent on a saddle? Could have gone towards something that might further your equestrian dreams...something no saddle, however nice, is going to accomplish.

    Quote Originally Posted by skittlespony View Post

    But once again such as the saddle above my parents did not buy this car for. Regardless of how nice and dumpy this car is, I payed for it myself. Yeah maybe my parents are paying for the insurance but they didn't buy the car.
    First off, saving up for a car is definitely something to be proud of. But do you actually know how much car insurance is? Depending on the car and the policy, in only a year or two the insurance can end up costing more. So congrats on buying yourself a car because thats a great feeling, but realize your parent's financial burden carrying the insurance is not insignificant.
    Currently blogging for Chronicle of the Horse. Articles can be found here: http://www.chronofhorse.com/category...ryan-lefkowitz



  12. #232
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2003
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    10,370

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    Quote Originally Posted by skittlespony View Post
    I understand that I am lucky that my parents pay for 2 lessons a week. I never said anything in this whole thread that I didn't appreciate that. I did say that that wasn't enough but that is also in no way not appreciating this from my parents.
    Thinking that two lessons a week, paid for by your parents, is not enough...IS not appreciating what you are being given. That's what a whole lot of people have been trying to tell you. It's one thing to wish things were different, it's a whole 'nother to throw a temper tantrum and threaten to give up riding because you can't do it on your terms.

    It's like really wanting an iPad and your parents buy a Kindle Fire. You say you appreciate the Kindle Fire, but you threaten to stop using it because no matter how much you try, it's just not an iPad...and you really, really want an iPad.

    It's an ungrateful temper tantrum, plain and simple.

    Now, whether that is normal for your age or maturity level, I can't say. I can say that right now, you are acting like a victim. Stop waiting for people to do for you and get out there and do for yourself. Life doesn't get much easier than what it is in high school/college. Don't throw away opportunities because they aren't coming in exactly the form you want them to.
    Keith: "Now...let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
    Veronica: "Buy me a pony?"



  13. #233
    Join Date
    Jul. 21, 2011
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    Co
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    3,992

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    Quote Originally Posted by RugBug View Post
    Thinking that two lessons a week, paid for by your parents, is not enough...IS not appreciating what you are being given. That's what a whole lot of people have been trying to tell you. It's one thing to wish things were different, it's a whole 'nother to throw a temper tantrum and threaten to give up riding because you can't do it on your terms.

    It's like really wanting an iPad and your parents buy a Kindle Fire. You say you appreciate the Kindle Fire, but you threaten to stop using it because no matter how much you try, it's just not an iPad...and you really, really want an iPad.

    It's an ungrateful temper tantrum, plain and simple.

    Now, whether that is normal for your age or maturity level, I can't say. I can say that right now, you are acting like a victim. Stop waiting for people to do for you and get out there and do for yourself. Life doesn't get much easier than what it is in high school/college. Don't throw away opportunities because they aren't coming in exactly the form you want them to.
    This is good advice skittlespony.



  14. #234
    Join Date
    Jan. 1, 2008
    Posts
    4,674

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    Quote Originally Posted by skittlespony View Post
    All this is true not to mention to registry is an hour and 15 minutes from where I live, and that's the closest one.
    Wow...that was my commute to work each day, ONE WAY.
    Fan of the Swedish Chef



  15. #235
    Join Date
    Jan. 1, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by RugBug View Post
    Don't throw away opportunities because they aren't coming in exactly the form you want them to.
    Every high school kid should have that tatooed on the back of their hand.
    Fan of the Swedish Chef



  16. #236
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    Jan. 12, 2011
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    You don't have a job, how did you save up? Christmas and Birthday money your parents gave you? I second RugBug and Rel6.

    I still say the best thing to do is to take a break and get the license, the job and find another trainer. Possibly some family therapy, it can really help in learning how to communicate your feelings not only to your parents, but the outside world.



  17. #237
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2006
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    NY
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    4,058

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    Meh, I know lots of kids without a license. I don't really see that as a big part of this equation. There are supposedly some other barns within an hour's drive, but it doesn't sound like the OP is really considering them anyway.

    I'm not really sure what sort of advice she ever expected.

    OP: have you talked to your trainer yet? That would be the best place to start.



  18. #238
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2005
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    Upstate NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by RugBug View Post
    Don't throw away opportunities because they aren't coming in exactly the form you want them to.
    Best advice yet!



  19. #239
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    Jun. 8, 2009
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    Ontario
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    Not knowing the whole back story, nor taking the time to read all the comments...here is how I overcame the same situation...

    My parents could not afford to pay for any lessons for me but did 1 a week at 12 yrs of age. (Then we moved again...military family ) Then at 13 I began mucking/grooming/scrubbing buckets ANYTHING I could do just to be around horses. Heck just to sit on a horse to cool it out was heaven for me. (I was a capable rider for w/t/c and X-rails by that point) I ended up working for my coach in lew of getting paid I would get lessons on her horses. I then was able to catch rides on other people horses that they bought sour/not backed and ride/show them for them so they could sell them - ALL for free because of the experience.

    When I turned 16 I got 2 part time jobs so I was able to pay for my own lessons(on top of what I was getting) and shows. I would catch a ride on any horse I could (owner on vacation/no time/work/school etc) and was very fortunate for the few who let me just ride/show their horses at no extra cost to me. They paid for everything related to the horse I paid everything related to showing. If I actually won money above the cost of the entry I gave it to the owner(s)....

    I did not get my first horse (Heck I never leased one either because of the money) until I was 20. I worked 4 part time jobs (30-40 hours a week) went to college full time and managed to pay for my horse that way...

    Now I am 30 have a 2yr old and 11 month old and am newly divorced so my riding horses has been put on hold...

    I guess long story short...life will ALWAYS throw challenges your way...the question is are YOU up to it?! I am a firm believer that if you want something bad enough and are willing to work for it that it is possible!!



  20. #240
    Join Date
    Jun. 17, 2001
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    down the road from bar.ka
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    I really shouldn't... but you lost me.

    How did you save up...what? 3k for the saddle and at least that for a functional car? Why not start applying that income source in a horse fund for more lessons, switching barns, maybe putting a little gas in moms car to entice her to take you to another lesson a week? Or pay for a hack in addition to your lesson when you are already at the barn?

    Your situation with getting more saddle time does not sound that bleak or hopeless if you can get a little more creative.
    When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

    The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.



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