I keep waiting for off topic day to come around so that I can post this, but I always forget...

I'm teaching mostly online these days, but way back when I used to teach face to face classes, I had this lovely class of mostly freshman students, both male and female, and I loved the whole lot of them. Bright, new to the school, and eager to learn, they were enthusiastic, happy to be there, and generally a pleasure to be around. Until that day...

We were wrapping up class and the students were filing out, collecting their books and bolting for their next class when I spotted them. I had been sitting in front in my customary casual position, and since I am pretty darned observant, I KNEW that they had not been there the entire time.

A pair of bright pink, nay fuscia, even, thong panties. In the front row of desks lying on the floor. In my haze of confusion, I could NOT remember which lovely and lissome young lady had been occupying that particular desk; in fact I had a confused impression of an entire row of the bright and perky young creatures occupying that row. But in any case, I had the singular experience that semester of teaching two classes in that classroom, and now I had a problem. The next class was filing in, and I had to do SOMETHING with the panties.

And fast...

Male students were already taking their seats, as well as some female students (for some reason which has never really made sense to me, the next class was more heavily weighted towards male students, of course). So I desperately cast around for what to do - how could I remove the thong without 1) touching it? or 2) letting anyone know what it was? I had nothing with me but a pencil and a notebook. Picking it up with a scrap of paper just didn't occur to me. So I did the only thing I could think of and impaled it on the pencil and, carrying it proudly like a flag in front of me, walked the entire distance across the room to the garbage can, and dumped pencil AND thong into the can.

I turned back to the stunned class who were mostly now assembled and who had seen the whole display, dusted my hands off, and said to them "now, who has a pencil or pen that I can borrow?"