[mroades]

45, never been married, a few LTR's. Havent been on a date in 15 years. Only child of a single mom, so being alone is what I do best.

[jumpingmaya]

24 here and never been in a serious relationship. Most of the time I'm ok with that. I think I'm taking my time finding an SO because my parents relationshio gives me such a high standard - And now I'm at the age where I don't want to just date for the sake of it, if any relationship I'm in doesn't look like it will lead to marriage within a few years, I'm not going to be in it. At the moment I'm not ready for marriage, so not really looking to be in a relationship.

Other than being a year older and having been in a serious relationship... that's me...
Over the last year- 24 was rough... changed A LOT!!!!!!!!!- I've realized what I want and that if said person doesn't fit or want the same type of things/lifestyle... I move on... too "old" to waste time having fun with a person that has no future so as soon as I don't see it go anywhere, I'm out... running truly!
Keeping my standards where they should be and we will see where it takes me!

[saje]

I wish I were single.

[Jack16]

tle, I understand your heartbreak. It can be so devastating when it comes as a surprise. Sometimes all we can do is breath and remember your heart beats for you, not him. Here is a quote that has helped me deal with pain and move on......

"You can spend minutes, hours,
days, weeks or even months
over-analyzing a situation;
trying to put the pieces together,
justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened…
or you can just leave the pieces of the floor
and move the fuck on."

-Tupac Shakur

[Adamantane]

The only times I've ever been happy being single were when I had recently escaped from a bad relationship.

I think it's incredibly sad that so many of the self-selected group here who resonated to the OP's question apparently have never experienced a good, healthy partnership of mutually respectful equals, with a good mix of shared and individual interests and many points of connection with no power games.

This from someone who is very intraverted (in the Jungian sense).

And the last thing I ever would want would be to be 'taken care of'. That wears very thin by about age 14.

If all you've ever known is bad relationships or those founded in drifting sand, then I can see why you might shun them as a class, however that's not an inherent quality of relationships, it's just bad luck or poor choices.

[snbess]

I've never started a topic that had this much interest. lol Thanks everyone for sharing. In this world we live in, where everyone seems so "couples" focused, it can sometimes seem like I'm the only one who is happy...truly happy...being single. I don't think that it's sad that so many of us are happiest this way. I think we've found what works for us and are embracing it. I think that is difficult for many people to understand. I'm sure most of us (I do anyway) have wonderful friends and much social contact in our lives, so it's not like we're moles or anything. But I do love my freedom, independence, and quiet time. I need that alone time to rejuvinate and be ready to interact with the world on a daily basis. It's nice to hear from others who have similar feelings.

[Louise]

I would have liked marriage, a family, the whole thing, but, never found the right man and wasn't about to settle for less. However, that hasn't stopped me from having a good, and fulfilling life. I like being able to do what I want to do, and still reach out to others when I want to. You take certain things because that's your life, and you build satisfaction and happiness within that framework.

The only times I really regret not having a man around the place are those like in my gas can thread, when I haven't the slightest idea how to handle something mechanical and its accessories. But, that is no basis for forming a relationship.

[horsefaerie]

I am happy being single because that is where I am. I choose to be happy regardless of where I find myself.

If a great guy showed up I'd be all over it.

Hasn't happened recently.

If someone can add to my happiness they can come into my life. If they have a bunch of negativity they are not welcome. BTDT have the t shirt.

[Wayside]

Even great relationships require compromise. As much as I love my husband, sometimes it would be nice to just do what *I* want.

And in-laws. Could totally do without those, too

Seriously, there are advantages and disadvantages to most lifestyles, and I don't think it's at all sad for someone to feel that being single is the right option for them.

[tradewind]

I had a very brief marriage young and then was single for over 20 years. I was happy eoungh and unwilling to settle for a less than ideal partner. I have now been happily married for 10 years and I have to say it is wonderful. I much prefer being in a loving partnership. If the choice however, was between mediocre or unhappy partnership or single I would choose single every time.

[texang73]

I'm 40 and yes I am happy being single. I don't intentionally not date but I also am not exactly looking either.

I have high standards and am not so desperate I need to lower them.

What she ^^^ said! I just turned 39, was married for less than 5 years, been divorced for 6 years and nary a relationship during that time as I feel the same way twotru does about dating.

I'd like to have someone in my life again, but I'm in no rush and would rather be single than unhappy.

[wendy]

and have no interest whatsoever in being in a relationship. It isn't that I avoid dating -- I just don't think about dating any more than I think about going out and buying a giraffe. I mean, I suppose one day I could run across an awesome giraffe at just the right time in my life and buy one, but on a day to day basis, I do not judge the happiness of my life by the presence or absence of a giraffe. Why would I?

exactly how I HOPE most women think.

I've had two committed relationships in my life, and this still holds true. I also think people in general will be a lot happier if they discard this odd idea that one should "mate for life". Far as I can tell, couplehood definitely has a built-in lifespan after which it becomes miserable for all concerned if they attempt to keep it going. You'll be happier accepting it's done and just shaking hands and moving on as soon as you sense it's reached it's sell-by date.

After my two relationships, I must say that it's a major mistake to live with someone. Relationships do much better if you both have your own robust lives going on outside the relationship.

[Halt Near X]

I think it's incredibly sad...

I'm so glad that my family celebrates my happiness as a single person instead of trying to wish me into a lifestyle that I would not enjoy. I hate the condescending "Don't worry, you'll meet someone and then you'll be fulfilled" attitude society at large takes towards single people.

Something to consider: just as there are boys who prefer ballet to football, or girls who prefer hunting to knitting, there are people who prefer being single to being in a relationship. It's not necessarily because we haven't found the "right" relationship -- sometimes, it really is because our personality and nature make us happier when we are single.

This is not "sad" any more than a kid who prefers activities outside stereotypical norms is "sad." Or a couple who chooses to stay childless instead of having children is "sad."

[Jack16]

The only times I've ever been happy being single were when I had recently escaped from a bad relationship.

I think it's incredibly sad that so many of the self-selected group here who resonated to the OP's question apparently have never experienced a good, healthy partnership of mutually respectful equals, with a good mix of shared and individual interests and many points of connection with no power games.

This from someone who is very intraverted (in the Jungian sense).

And the last thing I ever would want would be to be 'taken care of'. That wears very thin by about age 14.

If all you've ever known is bad relationships or those founded in drifting sand, then I can see why you might shun them as a class, however that's not an inherent quality of relationships, it's just bad luck or poor choices.

I don't think it's sad at all. I like being single and often times think I am a better person when I am single. I have had great men in my life. At the end of the day they ended because I wanted to do what I wanted to do and I wasn't willing to not do that. I am happy with the decisions I made. Nobody on here is saying all men are jerks or anything like that. Some people just really like being loners. I'm not cutting myself off from relationships by any means but I am truly happy alone and often wonder if I will ever really want to share my life completely with someone else.

[MistyStormy]

Glad to see there's so many other happy single people out there! I'm occasionally made to feel like I'm strange. I'm 29 and have never dated. No interest in finding anyone and I have enough friends that I don't need the social aspect. I don't like kids so there's no worry there. It may be selfish, but I don't want to have to change my life to fit someone else in. Any benefits aren't worth the tradeoffs to me. I love my alone time and the ability to do whatever I want whenever I want.

When I get questioned about my not dating I usually say that my standards are so high there's no use in even looking. If they keep at it I tell them that a man without a woman is single, and a woman without a man is a genius

[dressagetraks]

Far as I can tell, couplehood definitely has a built-in lifespan after which it becomes miserable for all concerned if they attempt to keep it going. You'll be happier accepting it's done and just shaking hands and moving on as soon as you sense it's reached it's sell-by date.

Now that I DON'T agree with. I have seen many long-term relationships, still happy. Just saw a man this weekend who in the last two weeks buried his wife of 63 YEARS. One of the happiest marriages I ever knew (and by happy, I don't mean they never once had a disagreement or lost their own individuality) was my aunt and uncle. Until his unexpected death when he just keeled over with no risk factors or family history and with the healthiest lifestyle you have ever seen, they had a great marriage. They were at about 30 years; I would have bet a year's salary on them making another 30, barring the death of one participant, as unfortunately happened.

Seeing those successful relationships and knowing that it CAN work long-term is what makes me refuse to lower my standards and accept a quick relationship or one with an incompatible person just to have one.

If I believed that all relationships hit a "sell-by date," that would be reason enough to never be interested in having one in my life.

Relationships can and do work in the long term. Sadly no longer the majority, but I think that's because so many people these days confuse feelings with commitment.

[Ozone]

I have to laugh at you how say "I would like to be in a realtionship but my standards are to high". I thought of myself this way before to the point if the potential partners tooth was crooked I was not interested

If you don't start to realize that you need to bend just a bit you will find yourself single for life. Is that what you truly want? You need to put yourself out there, push those side walls down that you have built around you and let someone in when the opportunity arises.

People who have that "standards" attitude others can feel that off of you. I know this because I was you. I was noted as Miss Independent.

I am happily married now not because I let my standards in a partner drop or that I settled. More like I let someone in my world without changing me - who I am... I also LET a relationship try to happen.

I find it silly of some to say that married people are not happy. Marriage makes you loose all independence etc. You are so mis informed but that is what is also keeping you single.

[dressagetraks]

My list of uncompromising points, already mentioned on pg 2, is actually a short one.

Quote from me: "(spiritually compatible, NO desire for children, considerate, integrity, loves animals). It's truly a short list, and there are lots of other things I'd flex on, but nobody interesting or interested has met those yet."

I really don't see where any of those few need to be modified, or how I could be happy with someone who didn't have them. I have actually met people who fulfilled all of them. They were, unfortunately, not available. But they do exist. It's not like hunting for a unicorn.

I realize there are people with a shopping list a mile long, though. Yes, that's definitely overdoing it. Compromise is definitely important. But there are a few things not to compromise on.

[danceronice]

Single, and hate it. I never have time to do everything, as I'm the only one who takes care of things around the house and I have to work and I have to walk the dogs and take care of the cats and the yard and as such the chores are never done. Vacations are okay but never GREAT as traveling alone is only fun to a point. I don't have any "girl" friends except a few from college who of course don't live anywhere nearby (we weren't the sort of school where people go locally.) Doing things with people from the studio is nice when there are activities, and I do talk to people at the barn (small barn, not a lot.) But I never have time to go to the barn as much as I'd like. Something always gets shortchanged, and of course I can't really indulge in being sick as there's no one else to walk dogs, mow the lawn, go to work, etc. And of course it's just deadly dull.

And yes, frankly, I'd want to marry someone where I didn't have to work. If the house is ever going to be clean and meals made to a reasonable standard and everything kept up, a day job is simply not feasible, unless it's something I can do a few hours a day from home. To be honest I'm never that interested in any job for very long as it is. I have no drive to have any sort of office-based career, it's just something I do because I don't have investments sufficient to live off and I don't make enough from books to live on, either.

[MistyStormy]

I have to laugh at you how say "I would like to be in a realtionship but my standards are to high".

I say my standards are too high to get people off my back in a humorous manner. I have no standards at all because I'm not looking!

I don't appreciate people lecturing me because think they know better than me what I want. I try to be nice about it and joke. Everyone's different and don't want the same things out of life. I'm very happy for friends that find their special someone, my BFF found hers in the last year and I'm thrilled for her. But I have absolutely no desire to find someone and it would be nice if more people would respect that personal choice.