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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 29, 2003
    Location
    Aiken,SC
    Posts
    552

    Default How would you handle this comment

    Ok, this first let me say that I'm 5'8" wearing a size 8 jean, I have no clue how much I weigh, scales are for brave people, but last dr's visit, he said to not drop anymore weight for now. That being said I was at work today and a female co worker said im front of several male co worker to 1 move my big butt, then a few minutes later told me how pear shaped I was which I am not. I did not tell her that she had some nerve, because she is bigger than me, because I know this is stupid but I do not think that women should tear other women down. I have always loved my job, but I do not want to go to work tomorrow. My boss knows my male co workers told him, they were very upset that I was upset. I just do not know what to say to her tomorrow.
    I'm so busy.....I don't know if I found a rope or lost my horse.

    Alright put your big girl panties on and deal with it!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2009
    Posts
    1,455

    Default

    Oh my gosh! I don't even know. I think I'd probably be shocked, and I am sorry that happened to you.
    From a work angle, I don't know what to tell you as far as advice. From just a personal angle, I'd say that the comment says a lot about her. Perhaps she was motivated by jealousy.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug. 8, 2001
    Location
    up the hill from the little river (that floods alarmingly often)
    Posts
    3,612

    Default

    You don't say anything. Well, you could smile sweetly and tell her you hope today goes better for her than yesterday, but honestly, comments like that are a reflection of her (her pettiness, her immaturity), not you.

    If she says it again, you smile and say, "Well bless your heart." And you continue with what you were doing.
    Full-time bargain hunter.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr. 29, 2006
    Location
    Evansville, Wisconsin
    Posts
    3,081

    Default

    Clearly you're NOT overweight, and even if you were it's none of her business. Her comments reflect poorly on her, not on you.

    If it were me, I'd probably just ignore it. If it was frequent enough or hurtful enough to be bothersome, I'd probably say something like "I don't think that my weight/figure/whatever is an appropriate topic to discuss or comment on in the workplace, and I would appreciate it if we could focus on the task at hand instead."
    "In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming part dog."
    -Edward Hoagland



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec. 12, 2010
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    1,197

    Default

    Well that was rude of her... I would just ignore her from now on. People that tear other people down are not worth your time or energy.
    http://www.youtube.com/user/NBChoice http://nbchoice.blogspot.com/
    The New Banner's Choice- 1994 ASB Mare
    Dennis The Menace Too- 1999 ASB Gelding
    Dreamacres Sublime- 2008 ASB Gelding



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct. 14, 2004
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    9,026

    Default

    Obvious jealousy, not even worthy of a second thought, nor a response. Ignore her.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2012
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    2,671

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NBChoice View Post
    Well that was rude of her... I would just ignore her from now on. People that tear other people down are not worth your time or energy.
    I totally agree with this, but would be THINKING comments like, (carefully waiting until there were a lot of people around), "Oh Sally how's that discharge thing working out for you, able to sit yet?" or, "Sally, you got a call from someone at a law firm...can't remember who, anyway they said not to worry that the little boy's parents decided not to push charges".........

    Just THINKING, not SAYING because, at the end of the day, just what the poster said, just not worth the energy.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul. 29, 2003
    Location
    Aiken,SC
    Posts
    552

    Default

    Thanks starting to feel better, some of my coworkers have called and have made me laugh. My boss said he will talk to her and warn her that her comments will not be tolerated. I have to be careful with my thoughts, my filter is broken and sometimes my thoughts just blurt out. It could be really bad. I try not to think bad thought often, they get me in trouble.
    I'm so busy.....I don't know if I found a rope or lost my horse.

    Alright put your big girl panties on and deal with it!



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2010
    Location
    All 'round Canadia
    Posts
    5,408

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntertwo View Post
    Obvious jealousy, not even worthy of a second thought, nor a response. Ignore her.
    Yeah. It sounds like you've been losing some weight and that kind of nasty remark is often a sign of jealousy.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct. 31, 2001
    Location
    West of insanity, east of apathy, deep in the heart of Texas.
    Posts
    15,797

    Default

    Ridiculous comments from sad, stupid people should never affect your self esteem.

    Tell the bitch, if she has the temerity to comment again, that no one made her the arbiter of what is "pear shaped" or "big" and what isn't, and to STFU. Sometimes, the best thing to do is confront the bully and make her back down.
    In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
    A life lived by example, done too soon.
    www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr. 28, 2009
    Location
    Alberta's bread basket
    Posts
    1,605

    Default

    I would be sweet as pie. Her jealousy and poor self-esteem issues are not your problem.
    https://www.facebook.com/MariposaSportHorses

    Practice! Patience! Persistence!



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 1999
    Location
    South Coast Plaza
    Posts
    20,462

    Default

    A well placed "Why bless your heart" is such a genteel Foxtrot Oscar.
    EDDIE WOULD GO


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    32,542

    Default

    Yep, Bless her little heart - if you should be able to find it.

    Think duck and water...
    look at her like and consider she is having a really bad day...probably year - or life....

    Bless her heart.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar. 4, 2007
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    2,964

    Default

    "Well bless your heart" is only a little gentler than "That really pegged the Rude-O-Meter."

    I'd go with the Rude-O-Meter. If she's that thoughtless, the "blessing" may sail right over her head.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun. 25, 2004
    Location
    Carolinas
    Posts
    4,880

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coanteen View Post
    Yeah. It sounds like you've been losing some weight and that kind of nasty remark is often a sign of jealousy.
    This.

    Be the person you always are, sounds like the rest of the team appreciates and enjoys working with you. So this person is the "odd man out.". As DH comments, CTS. . . Consider The Source.
    "Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
    Courtesy my cousin Tim



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jun. 19, 2001
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    3,799

    Default

    If she says anything more, I vote for "what the hell is wrong with you"?



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jun. 30, 2009
    Posts
    6,803

    Default

    Just look straight at her & say
    "why would you say something like that?"

    wait for her reply, then
    "please never speak so disrespectfully to me again"



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Aug. 3, 2000
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,240

    Default

    How about (said loudly) "I'm sorry but... why exactly are you looking at my butt?"


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jul. 23, 2004
    Posts
    947

    Default

    why all the drama, ladies? "pear shaped" is not an insult; it refers to a feminine figure and says nothing about weight. And "move your big butt" may not have been meant literally; I say that to my beloved (and thin) dog all the time when she's planted on my end of the couch.

    Really, why get upset over such harmless comments?



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2006
    Posts
    8,747

    Default

    Ask very politely, "Why are you making that sort of comment to me? Do you think I shouldn't like how I look?"

    This keeps you polite and on the high road (I personally think "Well bless your heart" is totally immature), and making her "explain" herself will expose her for being ridiculous and make her look like a tool.



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