Would it offend you if someone invited themselves to your house and said things such as:
I wish you had a bigger house
It would be nice if you had a bigger house
Maybe one day you will have a bigger house
It would be nice if you had a second bathroom
or some variation of the above.
This happens EVERY TIME said person invites themselves to vist
Don't know if it would offend me but it would piss me off. Especially if the y have been there before and know what the house is like. All that really matters is that you are happy! They need to get over it.
OFFEND? No. Irritate? Yes. I mean, if it's a mother-in-law, I could live with it, if it's just a friend, I'd be more irritated. Either way I'd probably eventually say "When you feel like paying for an addition, I take donations."
Of course! Though it is such preposterous behavior that I'd have a hard time not laughing in their face...actually, why bother refraining? They would find the door closed next time they invited themselves over too, I have a mean dog who enforces my desire to exclude certain people from my doorstep...mostly salesmen, door to door proselytizers and policitians, but I can add to the list of unwelcomes for someone like that!
Not sure if I would use the word offend but I certainly would not like it. Is this family? For me that would be a little trickier. Not family? They would no longer be welcome. Family tends to feel more entitled to be rude....though still not acceptable. Maybe let said person know how you feel.
If it's a MIL, you may be stuck but anything else and I'd be suggesting the nearest hotel for their next venture to your town. Suggest the presidential suite so that they will have enough room for their massive ego.
Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique
I do not want to go into the whole back story but it is family, just not my family.....if you get what I mean. That family member that lives here says, "oh they dont mean anything by it." However it is always promptly followed up with, "how much do those horses cost you?" (and I only have one, the other horse belongs to other person living here).
I am not easily offended but this has been going on for years now. I have tried the death stare to no avail.
My sister-in-law did this the day we moved in and ruined what should have been a happy occasion. Her DH was helping us move, so I kept my mouth shut. Im still pretty bitter about it and i know its one of those things where id feel better if i forgave, but easier said than done.
If she wanted to visit again, I'd say pointedly "Oh, we simply can't...as you've noted, the house is so smallllll"
Any time someone talks about their horse in a bar, there's love in the room.
It would irritate me, sure. Next time the comment is made, I'd say sweetly, "Gee, thanks, you know one thing I'm glad for is my small house has a really nice door, right there. Don't let it hit you in the *ss on the way out."
I would find it weird more than offensive. I don't know why anyone who didn't live in my house would be so fixated on its size.
Maybe you can choose to interpret it as your friend just wishes the biggest and best of everything for you. She thinks you deserve to be a conspicuous consumer with hundreds of square feet you never use (but still have to heat, cool, clean, and pay taxes on)!
For what it's worth, I much prefer little houses. They're cozy.
I don't often agree with Trakehner, but in this case, can I get an AMEN?
It's rude, boorish behavior. The fact that it's your in-law makes it even more egregious. Death stares don't work. A thin smile and a steady "My house and my horses are none of your business" might do the trick. I wouldn't worry about offending the offender -- s/he's clearly not worried about offending you.
Founding member of the "I Miss bar.ka" clique
Founding member of the "I Miss Pocket Trainer" clique
I used to get all worked up about such silly things...now I wouldn't even hear such a comment, age will do that for you. It's your house and your life and your SO, comments from the penny ante section are not worth even a second of your attention. It's THEIR problem if they wish you had a bigger house. Don't take on other people's problems....