Originally from Greensboro, NC --- Now in Bristol, VA
cha-CHING - night shift clockin in...except i have to leave at 7 to go walk my dog...but then i'll be back, as there is NOTHING on tv tonight...
moving on...i've never shared my life story with anyone, as i've been in many many years of therapy for it...but since you guys are such CLOSE friends, I will tell you...
Well, my mom was at a horse auction, when she met a horse dealer named Tomahawkiwashanda. He was irish. He told her about the secred world of RESQUE, and they hooked up immediately. 9 months later, I was born. whew. Anywho, i forgot to tell you what my mom does. my mom works at the Dairy Queen, on the cash register. She used to tell people that she worked at the DQ, and someone thought she meant that she was a dressage queen, which is how we got into horses. my mom didn't want anyone to think she worked there because to be cool, you have to work at sonic or mcdonalds...so she went along with the lie. eventually, it got around the horse gossip mill that my mom was the bestest horse trainer in the wholest widest worldest...
eh, back to me...so by the time i was born, my mom had started up a barn with Tomahawkiwashanda. What they were doing was buying horses from the horse auction that were destined to go to slaughter, and fixed them up. they were the bestest team of horse trainers ever. anywho, they were also taking on training projects from clients. really, george morris was training for them, but the front was my mom and Tomahawkiwashanda...dont worry, we brain washed GM, so he doesn't remember that it was him...
seems i keep getting side tracked...so anywho, horses that we didn't like, we resqued. it wasn't a problem if it was our horse from the auction, but for clients horses, we just told them that they couldn't handle the pressure of training, and they collected insurance money.
so when i was 2 months old, i started showing the horses in training in the 8' lead line class...don't worry, i didn't stay there long. that class is for little kids.
anywho, when i turned 5, Tomahawkiwashanda taught be the real trade of the family...RESQUE. he taught me how to make the perfect resque, special sauces, how to cook and marinate the different parts, and the many different ways to serve it.
so from the age of 5 to 18, when i left for college, i was showing, mostly the 30' grand prixs and the 856th level of dressage, which is the highest level of all, and perfecting my resqueing techniques.
the year i left for college (the Shishkabob institute of resque cooking), my mom and Tomahawkiwashanda were arrested for the smuggling of BOSS and Flax seed acrosss state lines. they both went to jail...oh well...
anywho, i inhereted the farm, and now that i've returned GM, i'm training, riding, and resqueing...thats about it. not very exciting...oh well.
I was born on a dark rainy day under a bridge in Gypsy Vanner land. My mother was a carnie and *thinks* she met my father somewhere in Siberia, but she can't remember since she used to be addicted to shooting BOSS (and we all know how that kills your memory!). So, my mom was moving around with the carnival and realized she must have been pregnant when she gained 500lbs. For some reason, I was in gestation for quite some time: 2 years! On July 7, 1980, my mom went into labor. She told the rest of the carnies to go ahead and she'd catch up. She found a bridge and thought that looked like a good place to give birth. While she was in labor, a troll came along. He helped my mom give birth to me so she let him keep me to thank him. He named me mcm7780 which is pronounced just like: jkuwrtbsjjuty. Although it is hard to say, I have kept it for sentimental reasons.
I lived with the troll under the bridge until I was a year old. At that time, he tried to eat me so I decided to move out. I walked to Germany and found some dressage barn that needed a groom. Since I was small (I was only a year old!) they asked me to help break the ponies. I excelled at this and was the European Junior/Pony Dressage Champion in 1982. I went to the Olympics in Los Angeles in 1984 on my 12hh Shetland and won the gold medal easily: everyone else was doing Grand Prix tests while I was at 19864th level...there really was no contest. Anyway, I soon grew bored of dressage and decided to move to America!
I began my journey on May 7, 1985. I walked from Germany to France and swam to England. From there, I swam to America. I found a job with an BNT who did eventing. It was great! I felt like I finally found a place where I belonged! I quickly took an off the track tripod to the top and won all events we entered. He had to be retired when he developed an allergic reaction to BOSS and grew an extra head.
Sadly, I went to a carnival one day shortly after coming to America and spotted my mother snorting a line of flax seed. She was in horrid shape and I brought it upon myself to help her start a clean life. That was not meant to be and she was gunned down by a crazed postal worker two days later.
After my mother's death, I became a recluse for a while and moved to Iceland for 15 years. On my 20th birthday, I decided to face the world again and moved to California. I wanted to try my hand at politics and ran for govener of the state and won! It was great! Once my term was over, I decided to retire from politics and focus on my riding again.
So, I moved to Virginia last year and built a barn with my own hands. It is great! 20 by 20 foot stalls, 5 arenas (two are covered), a cross country field with BN thru Advanced fences. I love it! I am planning on running a 5* there next year. I have a new event horse: a 10hh tripod/Gypsy Vanner/fillygelding who is tri-colored. We competed at Rolex earlier this year and won and are hoping to qualify for the next WEG.
And that has been my life up to this point!
***Honorary Member of the "What is BOSS?" Cult...er...CLIQUE***
***Prominent Member of the 'Irrelevent Posters Clique'*** CrayolaPosse ~ Bluegreen
Oh, my heart goes out to you poor little people. I cannot imagine the hardships.
To brighten your mundane exsistence I will share a token tidbit of my life.
And I know you all think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth...couldn't be farther from the truth.
I was first placed on this earth by Zur from the planet Foolzum in the Ripsemoff sector almost 100,000 years ago and have exsisted in many bodies.
Each lifetime I have learned more until, this last time around, I was born with a Platinum spoon..you too can learn to control your future lives.
Send check now to Queens Bank of Georgetown to arrange a meeting with yur spiritual reprogramm....ummm....where is that edit button anyway..spiritual advisor.
When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.
<span class="ev_code_PURPLE"> I just finished the Harry Potter book and am still sobbing </span>
OK here is my life story.
A long time ago, a woman who secretly trained Westpfersnitchelgrandes, gave birth to a beeeeeeauuuuuuuuuuuuutiful daughter. At the age of 9 months, that daughter, who was named Horse_Poor because we all know how expensive Westpfersnitchelgrandes are, entered, and won, the 12 foot leadline class. We lived in the US but the Westpfersnitchelgrandes were imported.
Now, I know you are asking how did we get the Westpfersnitchelgrandes in the country since they are so rare--it is very simple: we would go overseas, purchase the horses, saw their legs off to fit them into our suitcase, and then make them new legs out of Elmers glue and baling twine. But, you see, we only make 3 legs for them, to give the Westpfersnitchelgrandes their trademark. They are also very easy to spot because they are a minimum 23.975 hh, and they must have black, roan, chestnut, and spotted markings in addition to a dorsal stripe. Many try to imitate the breed but it is SO easy to spot an imposter.
Anyway, after a falling out, I had my mother killed my the Sandman for insurance money and hung my shingle out as a BNT. Well, let me say that the business poured in! Not only was I training terribly talented riders that did not mind having their feet tied to the stirrups and girths, but they also realized that the Westpfersnitchelgrandes was the only horse to have to win on.
I decided I needed to have my own barn so I got some Lincoln Logs and a glue gun and built one-it is STUNNING! I was going to build a house but I just live with any tripod that caught my fancy. I have quite gotten a bad reputation as a black widow because after I live with a tripod, he disappears and my off shore account gets larger. I think it is coincidence.
I now have a full staff of tripods to mind the Lincoln Log Farm as I travel with my clients and Westpfersnitchelgrandes-the travel aspects are a bit rough, but thanks to the sunroof, all 87 fit in my Honda del Sol.
Now, I know you are asking what I did with all of the horse legs-well, not being one to waste anything, I built a lean to shelter for the Westpfersnitchelgrandes on Lincoln Log Farm out of them.
I am also a HUGE supporter of the flax seed cookie fund and have taken many under my wing. I DO bring them broiled resque at all of their events, and it is a huge hit.
That is how I got to be so cool.
Oh, and MCM- I am sorry, but you are always going to be Many Colts Meandering