[TheOrangeOne]

"That was...not what we wanted"
"Ok, lets do the exact same thing at less than 400 mph"
"Grace. What were you thinking?"

[Cindeye]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Racetb:
"I think Hughie implied that she rode too commercially". LOL!!! Bless you Dad!!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Howling with laughter on that one! Ah, the Dads that paid the bills and suffered in silence!

[b328]

My trainer said a funny one yesterday. I went off course in my first class, and then a big fat chip to the 1st fence of my second class. My horse behaved like a saint the whole time. While I was waiting for the person I trailered with to finish, my trainer comes over to my horse and pats him and says-
"Sorry buddy, you got the short end of the stick today."

[Janet]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NumberTenOx:
A couple of my favorites:

"Don't let the dog ruin your distance." Not as bad as it sounds, mostly refers to the fact that the dogs _usually_ catch on when you're headed for a jump and get out of your way. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Like this, you mean?
Gillian and SPort jumping dog at Fair Hill

[Janet]

One of Mike Page's sayings is "I saw your horse put an ad in the Chronicle, looking for a better rider".

[Solstrom]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Staish14:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Solstrom:
For how to hold the reins, to new students my coach always say
" hold them like they are 2 little birds, if you hold to tight you'll squeeze the life out of them and if you turn your hands in to far you'll bash their little heads together" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's from Sally Swift's Centered Riding book. It has some great lines like that. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Most likely!!

Sally Swift is worked into all of our lessons!!

[Esquire]

Gotta love just hearing your name repeated 3 times, and slowly, while the trainer is nodding his head downwards...so discourgaing, yet meaningful.

And we still get the SHUT UP AND RIDE comment mostly at shows when we must seem to be distracted (and he has the lovely t shirt to go along with it). We have told him, though, that we would disown him if he were to wear it at shows!

[icicle333]

my favorite trainer cracks me up. he says things like...

when i would ride this semi insane rusher around a course..."what the hell is your motto...'when in doubt leave it out!?'

he always has a tin or altoids and when i would lesson on this fat old lug who wouldn't move, he would throw the can of altiods at his butt...it would just bounce off and the horse would trot faster for 4 steps and then completely stop!

[mnolen9698]

After my mom had a not-so-hot round, she dismounted, ripped her her gloves off, threw them on the ground and sternly said "Bad gloves - look what you made me do!" We all had tears in our eyes laughing.

[Sing Mia Song]

Esquire, does David still have the "Because I'm the trainer, that's why" hat I gave him, ohh, 7 or 8 years ago?!

[Chef Jade]

My first show as an amatuer was horrible. I really had forgotten how to ride, and went off course multiple times. My trainer said, "What happened to you? You took the harness off your helmet and your brains fell out!"

[samismypony]

trainer: "Dont hit your horse on the chest, he'll go backwards, hit him on the butt, he'll go forwards"

same trainer: "where would you go if I hit you on the butt?"

random other trainer: "I'd go home" http://chronicleforums.com/images/cu...milies/lol.gif

[Jumpers21]

I heard this convo yesterday between my trainer, and a rider at our barn who has the bad habit of looking down (especially over fences)

Trainer: "You Land Where you look, Taren"
Taren : "That's total Bull, I usually land at
least a few feet away from where I was
looking"

[Silk]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by b328:
My trainer said a funny one yesterday. I went off course in my first class, and then a big fat chip to the 1st fence of my second class. My horse behaved like a saint the whole time. While I was waiting for the person I trailered with to finish, my trainer comes over to my horse and pats him and says-
"Sorry buddy, you got the short end of the stick today." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ahem...same trainer who said, "God couldnt have jumped it from there..."

Quite a sense of humor, huh?

[Esquire]

First time is a mistake, second time is a fluke, now you've got it.

Or, SHUT UP AND RIDE. (I think it is the t shirt that one of the other boarders bought him that causes this one).

Then there is also the occasional blonde jokes such as "are we having a blonde moment today","your blonde is showing", etc.

And finally, he got a shirt in the islands last year, so proud of himself, and it reads "The beatings will continue until the morale improves." Enough said on that one... http://chronicleforums.com/images/cu...milies/yes.gif

[Esquire]

One more, straight from the trainer's mouth,

"I have struggled, sweat and bled to learn my craft...now, it is your turn."

Yikes, try hearing that when you are just moving up to do the VERY HIGH jumpers...

[ItsMeBri2]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chef:
My first show as an amatuer was horrible. I really had forgotten how to ride, and went off course multiple times. My trainer said, "What happened to you? You took the harness off your helmet and your brains fell out!" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ROFL. I love that one.

[Justa Dream]

After doing a nice line or fence, "Now let's see if it'll happen twice in a lifetime."

[MissintheSouth]

Pat was a big fan of:
[after a huge long spot to a big oxer]
"Hail Mary[crossing himself], I am glad I wore my Depends today!"

[after two or three times of making the same mistake]
"If you do that one more time I am going to kick you so hard you will be spitting up boot polish!"
(he was kidding of course, I don't want anyone to think he was abusive or anything, just addament!)

[Portia]

My trainer's normal saying to put some life in a horse by giving him a swat is "tap him up." But when the horse really needs to wake up and move, it changes to "whack him up." http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...icon_smile.gif