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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov. 20, 2010
    Location
    Upstate New York
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    4,285

    Default Turning over in bed

    Ok - so this is as good a place to ask as any...

    My ex DH had a bad back and never exercised - and sleeping in the same bed with him was like sleeping during an earthquake, or on a ship hitting 10' waves. He was always jerking his backside underneath himself to turn over, then flailing on to his other side.

    Never rolled over smoothly & considerately which I've always tried to do.

    However, non back injured, in-relatively-good-shape recent SO also turned over with an obvious jolt and sproinging of the mattress.

    Is this a guy thing, or did I just get unlucky with both? It was rare to get a solid 7 hours sleep in either case. It was more like 2-4 hours, then being shook wide awake, then having to try to fall asleep again, which often took some doing.

    Ex DH also snored, but that I got used to. I snore when I'm sick, but not that often, I'm told.

    It just used to really tick me off as it was almost like maybe they were awake, and wanted me to be, too. Would love to hear others' stories.
    Being right half the time beats being half-right all the time. Malcolm Forbes



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
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    31,831

    Default

    get a new bed. I hear those foam mattresses don't do the earthquake. Or go German and slide 2 twins together
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    May. 12, 2000
    Location
    NE TN, USA
    Posts
    6,201

    Default

    He should be able to roll over smoothly. After all, he does have a ball-bearing movement.

    FrankBducksandrunsforcover

    I have arthritis in my back and other places to the point I can no longer ride, and it's impossible to turn over without a few erratic movements. But my wife has the same problems, so when one turns, the other goes ahead and turns.
    “There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt.”
    John Adams



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec. 21, 2005
    Location
    Colorado Springs, CO
    Posts
    1,874

    Default

    I always thought it was strange that my grandparents and later my parents slept in separate beds....until I had to share a bed with a thrasher.

    If it gets really bad, perhaps you could try 2 twins, pushed together to avoid motion transfer, or a foam mattress.
    "Is it ignorance or apathy? Hey, I don't know and I don't care." ~Jimmy Buffett



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar. 11, 2011
    Posts
    386

    Default

    I second (or third?) the foam mattress.

    I'm not married, but I used to have to share a bed with my sister when we were younger and traveling. She'd roll and thrash (and please tell me I'm not the only one who has dealt with a teeth grinder...), and it drove me crazy.

    As I got older, I eventually learned I could push her off the bed

    This, of course, didn't sit well with my parents.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2007
    Location
    ....in a classroom in Fl, by the ocean
    Posts
    3,765

    Default

    I will admit it ....I am a fidget-er. I don't thrash around, but I do move; a lot.

    I have one of those Beauty Rest Mattresses the one in the commercial where they drop a bowling ball and the wine does not spill. All of my BF's have said that my mattress is the place to sleep because if my moving...(may be I am a thrasher)

    I am on my second one. I love them.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep. 7, 2004
    Location
    Medford Oregon
    Posts
    917

    Default

    Foam mattress all the way. You could set off dynamite on one side and feel nothing on the other. I'm the turner, constant turning and foam mattress deadens it to nothing.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug. 28, 2007
    Location
    Triangle Area, NC
    Posts
    6,710

    Default

    Mr. PSJ flails about like a freshly caught marlin like, dude catches some AIR between him and the bed when he rolls over ...and he's got some lethal elbows too you have to watch out for.
    I've had moments where I've seriously considered keeping a riding bat next to the bed to beat the snot out of him when he starts attacking in his sleep, or maybe some roweled spurs strapped to my knee caps.

    We have a queen sized bed and he's 6'4" and I'm 5'9" and we simply just don't fit. Thank God we have a guest bedroom with an equally comfy bed. If I really want to piss him off, I just leave and go sleep in there.
    www.destinationconsensusequus.com
    chaque pas est fait ensemble



  9. #9
    CVPeg is online now Grand Prix Premium Member
    Original Poster
    Join Date
    Nov. 20, 2010
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    4,285

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Petstorejunkie View Post
    Mr. PSJ flails about like a freshly caught marlin like, dude catches some AIR between him and the bed when he rolls over ...and he's got some lethal elbows too
    You described it to a T...
    I have previously caught said deadly elbow in the eye from exDH.... then he arranged such a wall of pillows to support his various positions there was little room for me on the King sized mattress.

    I don't have to worry about this right now as I'm single again. But during the holidays, when at my sister's, and then my friend's, and they both had queen sized beds and seemed happy, I wondered how they managed?

    I do remember back to college when you could both squeeze on a single dorm mattress and be fine the next day...but just wondered if all men become flying fish in their middle+ age.
    Being right half the time beats being half-right all the time. Malcolm Forbes



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun. 18, 2007
    Posts
    4,033

    Default

    I've always been a smooth turner, and I have no male bedmate experience to compare, but I have one cat who drives me to distraction. She is the type that immediately triples weight and becomes a boulder when she falls asleep. I usually have to extricate myself first before turning over. She never wakes up until 80% of the way through this process, then hisses at me and growls for the last 15%, then stalks off the bed in a huff until returning to repin me once I'm in the new position. I'll someday get a foam mattress but doubt they help with boulder cats who like to entrap your legs.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb. 26, 2011
    Location
    Its not nowhere, but you can see it from here
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    3,825

    Default

    Get the Tempurpedic! I have never liked sleeping with anybody else inmy bed, barring the little breeches, but the foam makes a huge difference. Mr. Breeches is a big ole 250 ex foot ball player. Him turning over scared me awake many times until we got the Tempurpedic.
    From AliCat518 "Seriously, why would you NOT put fried chicken in your purse?!"



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
    Posts
    5,485

    Default

    King sized bed. We've had ours for a week and it has made a huge difference.

    We have two large dogs that sleep with us (fortunately they alternate bed times). DH is an active sleeper, but now I don't feel his every jerk and twitch (he has restless leg syndrome that rears its ugly head a few nights a week. Now that he's several feet away from me, I don't even notice.

    Plus I can sleep in my preferred position - like an "X"; stomach down, arms and legs akimbo.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default

    King sized bed and tempurpedic. Problem solved for most.

    (not me as I cannot find space on the bed for myself given the two large dogs and hubby but damn, when I DO sleep, it's good!!!!)
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2007
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    5,274

    Default

    Temperpedic or two twins side by side.

    We have the temperpedic now and I'm amazed and have easily put behind me the stormy seas that I had before. Every freaking move he made was magnified on my side of the bed, I swear. Saved our marriage to get the temperpedic.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan. 24, 2007
    Location
    small town, Ohio
    Posts
    613

    Default

    I thought the king sized bed would make a difference (the first 6 years of our marriage he worked 3rd shift as an IT manager so sleeping together wasn't a habit) but between the thrashing and the snoring it's separate bedrooms for us. Sorry, but I value my sleep.

    Years of sleeping with my Italian Greyhound have taught me to turn over smoothly. Too bad my husband sleeps like a pro wrestler. And snores like a frieght train (his mom and brother are both on machines for sleep apnea. Husband refuses to see a doctor).
    Rhythm the perfect OTTB;Spock the will-be perfect OTTB;Mia the Arab/appendix COTH giveaway



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 26, 2010
    Posts
    5,941

    Default

    I'm a squirmer, he's really tall and a bed hog and snores. If it gets bad, separate beds. I don't have the bouncing issue, but I can attest to the foam bed. I got the one from Costco about six months ago, and it's really stable. (And about $2500 less than Temperpedic--$500.) That might be a good solution and other sleep options if it's a bad night. Sometimes I just can't handle the snoring.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2010
    Location
    yonder a bit, GA
    Posts
    3,398

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Petstorejunkie View Post
    Mr. PSJ flails about like a freshly caught marlin like, dude catches some AIR between him and the bed when he rolls over ...and he's got some lethal elbows too you have to watch out for.
    I've had moments where I've seriously considered keeping a riding bat next to the bed to beat the snot out of him when he starts attacking in his sleep, or maybe some roweled spurs strapped to my knee caps.

    We have a queen sized bed and he's 6'4" and I'm 5'9" and we simply just don't fit. Thank God we have a guest bedroom with an equally comfy bed. If I really want to piss him off, I just leave and go sleep in there.
    This cracked me up :-) brilliant description, and i know JUST how it feels to want to wallop the poor SOB sometimes!! (Un)fortunately, I'm the more tossy turny of the two of us, though really I think I'm just more of a bed hog than bed acrobat.
    My parents have one of those sleep number beds and it is awesome. I think I'd need something like that if I had the cash laying about. You still get some jolting I *think*, but I don't think it's much compared to traditional mattresses.
    (A decidedly unhorsey) MrB knocks over a feed bucket at the tack shop and mutters, "Oh crap. I failed the stadium jumping phase."
    (he does listen!)



  18. #18
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2004
    Posts
    2,355

    Default

    the marlin things fits dh to a tee.. He also snores enough to strip the wall paper in the next county off walls... Thats with a cpap...

    We have a king size ''sleep number'' bed but not made by them mine is a confort aire( maybe with out the e) love it I am blessed the 5dogs and 1 cat allow us to use it.. Dh still manages the marlin skit dispite the dogs and cat...

    For the last 2 nights we have had to sleep on a full size pull out/sleeper sofa I think I may die if this has to occure much longer... the dogs are not that willing to share this bed as they are our bed... almost fell off 3 x's last night..
    Friend of bar .ka



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jul. 26, 2007
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    941

    Default

    Tempurpedic King Size Mattress!

    I'm a position changer and my husband is mattress lout-big, flailing movements that rocked the bed until we got the tempurpedic. The bed is quiet, very comfortable and a godsend.

    Now the dogs and cats that occupy the bed with us are a different story but that is all about encroaching on space which could be rectified by just kicking them off. Not that's gonna happen.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Mar. 5, 2007
    Location
    Pontiac, MI
    Posts
    1,352

    Default

    I'm a thrasher :-( And a bad sleeper as a result/side-effect. AND I have a bad back! I'm looking into the tempurpedics and the sleep number beds. Just hate looking at the price tags!



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