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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan. 17, 2008
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    2,010

    Red face I'm Totally Pregnant.

    So....about a year and a half ago a specialist told me, following an ovarian surgery involving some cysts and whatnots, that I was the owner of Polycystic Ovaries.

    I was also told that I would never concieve a child because I cannot ovulate without an assist. Like a pill, a shot or a petri dish.

    I do not believe in fertility treatment. (For me, I don't care what anyone else does. I just figure if I was meant to have a kid, I would). DH wanted kids, came around and accepted my choice to remain science free.

    I bought a WB. He bought a new car.

    And now I'm pregnant.

    None of the above effects the others. Just ironic. I never would have bought a 2nd horse if I knew I would be preggers (or planned on a kid) due to money and time. Also would never have been for DH getting an expensive luxury car when a less-expensive one would have done, but here we are.

    I'm finally accepting it. It's sinking in. But the first week was a lot of sleepless nights, strange dreams and disbelief. Also a lot of "how the F**k does a baby fit into this equation?" since we were NOT expecting this. At all.

    For those who follow my blog, you know that I did NOT want children. They freaked me out. I have a deep seated fear of losing myself in my kid; my passions, my sense of self, my relationships. But the other part of me is pretty excited, since apparently Mother Nature thought I had some redeeming genetics worth passing on after all.

    Gimme some words of wisdom, Cothers. When will I relax? (I'm 7 weeks along. In other words, like a minute pregnant)
    mykidshavefourlegs.blogspot.com



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr. 21, 2000
    Location
    Upperco, MD
    Posts
    479

    Default

    So I guess it was meant to be for you.

    Go with it.

    You'll be fine. You're smart and you'll figure out your own style of motherhood that you can live with and be proud of.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan. 14, 2003
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    6,506

    Default

    Congratulations!



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar. 5, 2007
    Location
    Pontiac, MI
    Posts
    1,352

    Default

    Oh my god!!!! Congratulations - I think?

    I can't comment on the when-will-you-relax, since I've never been so much as accidentally-pregnant. But, I know a great many number of women/mothers who have managed to avoid the "losing one's self in their child" trap, so don't assume it's a given. You can have/keep your own passions, sense of self, relationships, etc., I promise

    I think it's pretty darn exciting (but I love babies/kids)!! So, seriously, congratulations!



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2010
    Location
    california
    Posts
    5,041

    Default

    I also was told that the only way for me to get pregnant was to have another IVF. My daughter was with IVF she is 14, my son ? he is 11. Enjoy, life is full of surprises.

    A person does not lose yourself by having kids, people lose themselves by not being themselves. Kids also need to be themselves, when you are done riding, working, cooking and cleaning---just kidding, kind of...



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov. 15, 2004
    Location
    Nescopeck PA
    Posts
    1,843

    Default

    Congratulations! What a great Christmas Present! Don't fret about the 2nd horse, you will figure it all out. I have two girls and way too many horses. I love my kids more then anything. One rides, one does not, but they are my joy! Just wait til next Christmas!
    Maria Hayes-Frosty Oak Stables
    Home to All Eyez On Me, 1998 16.2 Cleveland Bay Sporthorse Stallion
    & FrostyOak Hampton 2008 Pure Cleveland Bay Colt
    www.frostyoaks.com



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov. 12, 2006
    Posts
    1,071

    Default

    I've had the pleasure and delight of having 3, yes 3, friends over the years who've had the same situation.

    It was a roller coaster for each of these couples for sure, a mix of "shock and awe" and ups and downs emotionally (I mean, they REALLY thought it was NEVER going to happen).

    All three couples are pretty extraordinary folks to begin with, so maybe that's why they were uniquely suited to this particular situation - they all sort of rolled with the punches pretty well. And not just the women but their husbands, too.

    They've all been really really blessed. All three couples were really up front about being shocked as h*ll and unprepared, too! Somehow with these couples their pregnancies and births have been just the teeniest more special, too.

    Congratulations to you and DH, LBM.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan. 17, 2008
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    2,010

    Default

    Thanks, thanks. Pretty much no one has said "congrats!" to me. DH? Sure. My friends/family pause (quite literally, pregnant pause) and say "...are you happy? Congrats?"

    I think I am nervous because my sister in law, who I do love, got pregnant, quit her job and is a FT mom. She doesn't do/talk/express interest in anything other than my 1 year old niece. That's great, for her. But I totally cannot do that. I need to work (both because I'm the breadwinner and because I just need to). The 3rd day after we found out I was prego, I had a melt down to DH about my mare, and what would happen when I wanted to ride after the baby was born? Was I supposed to give up the horses? Drive a minivan?
    My hardest part of this whole thing so far is that I am expected to wake up and be a differant person. I love to smoke. I love beer. I love lounging in my PJ's on a Sunday reading my book and drinking coffee while DH sleeps and its quiet. I love my slightly neurotic mare and rotten little Morgan. My muscle car and my big pick-up.
    Now my family (really, his family) and the few married friends we have with kids are all "Kerri. You better not smoke. Or ride your horses. Are you going to get rid of the F150? What about your Camaro? Are you going to take a really long maternity leave?"

    I'm not a differant person, people. Of course the smoking/drinking is done, but shit. I still swear too much, hate when kids smell like maple syrup and would rather hang with my horse than a little kid.
    mykidshavefourlegs.blogspot.com



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan. 10, 2010
    Posts
    1,169

    Default

    well, i am a firm believer in what is meant to be, will.......

    so, congrats momma!!.....and sending blessings your way for a healthy, uncomplicated,enjoyable pregnancy....

    i don't think that anyone who has a good,strong sense of self will "lose" themselves to anyone.........even a child..
    you will however, lose your heart, , just in case you were not aware of that........
    you will "share" yourself, not "lose" yourself....and, as time goes on, you may find yourself re-defining what "you" are all about........but that is something that i think we all do/should do, whether or not we are parents......
    i think that the awareness you seem to already have about yourself is a great positive....and knowing yourself is a great way to stay anchored in who you are.....everyone has fears, apprehensions, worries, wonders about pregnancy and parenthood.............................to not have them is to be incredibly stupid or naive..........neither of which you seem to be ....
    i think that having a child will create a "fuller" you (and i don't mean physically!), not a "lesser" you.....
    again, congrats, and many wishes for the best



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov. 15, 2004
    Location
    Nescopeck PA
    Posts
    1,843

    Default

    I was going to say you may want to stop your smoking and drinking, but you know you can still be YOU! I work full time and have way too many horses, but my kids fit right in with my life. A wise man once told me "kids are very adaptable". You can teach them from a young age that they don't have to be on a strict schedule. YOu know my daughter's 2nd grade teacher this year told me I was doing a wonderful job because my oldest could go with the flow. I take them everywhere with me, sometimes even to work. They are my best friends, and we all sleep in on the weekends. You sound like you will be a fine mom! BTW I have three cousins that all got pregnant with cystic ovaries.
    Maria Hayes-Frosty Oak Stables
    Home to All Eyez On Me, 1998 16.2 Cleveland Bay Sporthorse Stallion
    & FrostyOak Hampton 2008 Pure Cleveland Bay Colt
    www.frostyoaks.com



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2000
    Location
    Crown Point, IN
    Posts
    3,749

    Default

    I was so very not maternal before I found myself pregnant. (surprise!) I would not say I didn't want them, just that I wasn't so ready. 2nd one was a surprise as well. Wouldn't trade them though. You were obviously meant to be a mom. You will be fine. Congrats!
    Teneriffe Enterprises- NW Indiana
    www.saradanielhaynes.com



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar. 28, 2006
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    3,373

    Default

    Congratulations!

    It will be an adventure (but a good one) and you will find your groove on the "being you" front.

    The details of cars and horses and blah blah blah -- it all has a way of working out.
    Family Partners Welsh Ponies - Home of Section B Welsh stallion *Wedderlie Mardi Gras LOM/AOE http://www.welshponies.com
    Click here to buy: A Guide To In Hand Showing of Your Welsh Pony



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep. 22, 2010
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    1,205

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LittleblackMorgan View Post
    Of course the smoking/drinking is done, but shit. I still swear too much, hate when kids smell like maple syrup and would rather hang with my horse than a little kid.
    I dunno, but that right there, said to me that you are going to be an awesome mom.

    I'm only 24, but already have my heart set on not having children, it just doesn't fit into my plans. But I know life happens and not everything goes according to plan. Best of luck, I think you will be fine. Never stop riding.

    Amy

    "I decided I am going to live, or at least try to live, the way I want,
    with dignity, with courage, with humor, with composure."



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2009
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    2,391

    Default

    Congrats!!



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Sep. 6, 2000
    Location
    Decatur, GA
    Posts
    2,568

    Default

    My son is my best accident! He is just fantastic. I was in total shock too! He is a total freak and just as funny as me. We have so much fun together. Your priorities do change but since it is what you want to do it doesn't feel bad. One is a good number though...
    “If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?”
    ? Rumi



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 17, 2008
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    2,010

    Default

    The funny thing is that I totally planned on riding until I my balance was compromised and/or I could not mount/dismount comfortably. Doc said sure, fine, just no crazy jumping or wha-hoos.

    Well, I rode my pony once. At a walk. For like 10 minutes. I won't dare get on the spooky, flighty reactive mare. I'm "interviewing" 2 women to come and ride her for me. I have NO interest in even getting on her until I'm all done being pregnant and my who-ha is healed and the baby is hanging out with dad. So in like, a year.

    Totally sucks since the mare, in theory, should fetch around $500 a month in a lease fee. But no one has money for a lease (even though I offered the opportunity to show her all next season...she has her USDF card or whatever its called). She's a 3rd level horse. Pfft.
    mykidshavefourlegs.blogspot.com



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2009
    Location
    Rock Chalk!
    Posts
    3,272

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    Part of the reason we are pregnant for 40 weeks is to get used to the idea. Congrats!
    A proud friend of bar.ka.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2006
    Location
    Cheesehead in Loudoun Co, VA
    Posts
    2,575

    Default

    Swearing = "driving words"

    My son was taught that only people with drivers' licenses could say those words. Of course, 16 came along much too fast for Mom, but it worked
    I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
    Violence doesn't end violence. It extends it. Break the cycle.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2010
    Location
    california
    Posts
    5,041

    Default

    Littleblackmorgan-Do you think every parent drives a mini-van, has clean language, has perfected toddler speak and adores disney movies ? We all find our way through parenthood with great kids that turn into even better adults.

    There is another post asking about COTHERS children on here. It may help you to understand parenting. I hope that everything works out well for you and your hubby.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Sep. 11, 2008
    Location
    Snohomish, WA
    Posts
    4,799

    Default

    Congratulations!!!
    You will love it!!
    Both my kids were ...........surprises. Love them both - used to take the oldest one to all the horse shows - I rode until I was about 7 1/2 months pregnant - since I had been riding it wasn't a big deal to still do - they didn't let me jump tho.
    Incorporate them into your life - it works!!



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