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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May. 8, 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    6,813

    Default

    A good friend of mine recently mentioned in a very off hand way that she thought I was a little on the anal side. I was aghast. I’m would be the opposite of anal. Anal people have their lives in ORDER! Anal people are not up until 4am trying to get a 14 year old printer to print out addresses on their Christmas Cards. An anal person would have realized that it would have taken less time to teach the cat to write and then have her address the cards.

    No, no, I’m not anal. But I kind of wish I were, just a little.

    Anal people can get places ON TIME. Not to mention CLEAN and TIDY. Or at least some relative version of clean and tidy. I am one of those people who always look disheveled and like they are running late. Usually because I am.

    I did decide, though, that with the advent of the $700 Pony, that it was time for a fresh start. You know, one of those, “Today is the first day of your life” kind of deals. I could present myself a little better at the barn, tidy up a bit, plan better to be sure to be on time. Blah, blah. So I bought myself one of those charming little Ariat vest. Hey, you’ve got to start somewhere, and “A” for Ariat seemed like a fine place.

    Having purchased said charming Ariat vest, it was time to bite the proverbial billet and scheduled a lesson with my trainer/therapist. People were beginning to ask me if the $700 Pony was some weird delusion that I had made up in order to get invited to the barn Christmas party.

    I scheduled a lesson for a week away at 10am. And, with my new resolution of being the new improved pulled together me, I put together a plan for the new improved pulled together $700 Pony. I mean, I really like the $700 Pony, but the truth is, she looks a lot like a $700 Pony. She needed at least two parts elbow grease and 1 part Cowboy Magic to get her looking more like a, say $750 Pony. So plan as follows: (a) trace clip her (b) pull her mane (c) wash her tail and (d) clean my tack.

    It goes without saying that none of this happened. I have two tiny children. For those of you who do not have experience with human children, imagine that you have four female dogs who have all whelped at the same time. Each bearing twelve puppies. The bitches have rejected the puppies and you have to hand feed each of the 48 puppies. And you have lost both of your hands in a combine accident and can’t afford prosthetics. This is a close approximation of life with two tiny children.

    I gave up on the trace clip when it took me four weeks to get a blanket that fit. I FINALLY got the wight wug two days before my lesson. But, since the $700 Pony faints dead away every time I approach her with the clipper, I decided discretion was the better part of surviving to collect social security and left her fuzzy.

    She also fainted every time I tried to pull her mane. So I pulled a little bit every day. I figured a couple of hairs here and a couple of hairs there every day and before you knew it, she would have a tidy pulled mane. And probably by Easter, she will. Okay, so her mane looks a little shaggy, not the end of the world.

    As for washing her tail, well, given her reaction to clippers, I decided that fighting the great water battle in the dead of winter might not be such a great idea. A little Cowboy Magic and a brush, a quick bang (which is not exactly the same thing as the ‘quick bang’ that would do my poor husband a world of good right now) and her tail looked pretty spiffy.

    So now we are down to the things you can accomplish the night before: clean pony and clean tack. Feeling that hefty burden that all mother’s shoulder (that would be “guilt,” people), I decided that my 48 orphan puppy equivalents needed more attention than the $700 Pony, so I skipped the barn the night before and added an extra hour on the morning side for Pony Prep.

    Are you ready for some higher math?

    Lesson is at 10:00am. Add 1 hour for cleaning Pony and tack + 1 hour trailering + ½ ‘bonus’ hour because I am a moron and cannot possibly stick to a time schedule. I decided that I needed to leave the house at 8:30. That would be am, not pm. Anybody out there scratching their head?

    Yeah, so here’s what happens. 8:30am comes and goes as I am patting babies on the head, trying to locate a missing file for my husband and shouting out last minute instructions to my mother in the proper care and feeding of tiny children. She raised me so clearly she has no idea what she is doing.

    I finally hop in the truck around, say 5 minutes to 9, thinking “Good thing for that bonus ½ hour!” I go into abrupt cardiac infarction when I see that the clock in the truck reads FIVE MINUTES TO TEN!! Where’s the fruitbat!!?? I resume normal pulse and respiration when I realize that I never bothered to change the clock in the truck for daylight savings time. And then return to previous state of cardiac infarction when I realize that I have screwed up big time.

    There will be no clean tack, no clean $700 Pony and it is possible there will be no lesson.

    With one eye pasted to the rearview mirror, I scream to the barn. Officer McGinley and I had a business meeting a couple of years ago. His business, alas, which would be dealing with miscreants, not mine.

    Specifically, it was 6am and I was 5 minutes into my hour and 15 minute commute to work and I had had no sleep the prior night since child #1 was not at that point sleeping through the night. Officer McGinley pointed out to me, the picture of legal politeness, that he had clocked me doing 61 in a 40mph zone.

    I, the picture of blithe foolishness replied, “Well, could be worse! I was only in fourth gear and about to shift up when I saw your lights!” After that episode, my husband and I decided it might be safer if I stayed at home with the children.

    Arriving at the barn and thanking the higher power that the Fancy Schmancy Facility people had read my note and left the $700 Pony inside, I broke all landspeed records for hitching up the trailer and fled down the aisle toward the $700 Pony.

    Luckily, the $700 Pony took pity on me and got right on the trailer. The list of stuff you need to take with you for a lesson is actually tattooed on my palm (so I forgot a girth ONCE, um, and a bridle, well, maybe twice, oh and there was that one time I left my saddle back at the barn. Well, it’s not like I drown kittens, for crying out loud!) so I did head out the driveway with hat, bat, gloves, saddle, girth, and bridle as well as the Pony.

    So there I am now flying down the road and I reach for my cell phone to let trainer/therapist know I am on my way, which, by the way, is technically illegal in the state of NJ, and luckily for me, (whew!), my cell phone is on low battery. Ah, well probably not a good day to stop at the Verizon store to get that car charger I have been talking about buying for the past decade. Could probably get the handless thing, there, too, but who the heck has time for that kind of stuff?

    So what is the damage? Well the 1 hour I blocked out for trailering is really too much. It is less than a ½ hour driving in my car, so figure 40 minutes, tops with the trailer. And it is only 9:33 and it is only a ½ hour lesson and my trainer/therapist doesn’t have another lesson until 11:00. So it’s going to be fine. I’m going to be a little late, and the $700 Pony is going to look like a $700 Pony and I am going to look exactly like I usually do, except with a charming little Ariat vest on, so what the heck. All is well.

    But pride cometh before a fall, does it not? Because as I am trucking along, I realize I am making better time that I thought. So much better in fact, that I am beginning to believe that I will pull into the driveway REALLY CLOSE to 10:00am. So it will be like I am not late at all, mostly. And maybe with the charming vest on, I can pull it off!

    But you know that is not the case. And you are not going to believe what I did next, because I can barely believe it myself. But believe it. It really, truly happened this way.

    And to clarify, I have lived in this general vicinity for YEARS. I have driven these roads for the past decade and a half. But let us not forget that I cannot add 1 hour + 1 hour + ½ hour properly.

    So there I am at the stop light, ready to make the turn onto Route 78, counting the seconds as they tick off on my truck clock, thinking, “Maybe, maybe, I will not be TOO late…” when I accidentally turn into the Wal-Mart parking lot.

    Well, shoot! you say. How in the heck could anyone mistake a WAL-MART PARKING LOT FOR A MAJOR NEW JERSEY STATE THOROUGHFARE??????

    Well, no matter HOW it happened. It happened. And there I am, in the Wal-Mart parking lot. With my rig. And here’s the kicker, folks. THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS!! Bad time to get caught in the Wal-Mart parking lot. It was a bit like an Escher sketch. You could get in, BUT THERE WAS NO WAY OUT!

    I went left – there was a monster Hummer blocking my way. I went right, there were a flock of mini-vans disgorging their human cargo. I feint, I jab, I punch and I am stuck in the Wal-Mart parking lot.

    It was with an air of desperation and that I finally gave up on the seemingly simple task of turning my rig around in the Wal-Mart parking lot to duck out down a small side road with the ominous sign “Dead End.” Why would anyone do this, you ask? Because in my rose colored glasses world, I am thinking dead end = cul-de-sac = nice turn around area.

    Okay, raise your hands, anyone who actually passed Geometry in High School. Remember all those bloody logic theroms? Well here is a new one for you: while all cul-de-sacs are all dead ends, NOT ALL DEAD ENDS ARE CUL-DE-SACS!

    It has been years since I regularly squired my horse around. Pondering this as the sweat marks formed under my less and less charming Ariat vest, I had a flashback to the 2000 Presidental Election (where the h&*l is THIS going, I can hear some of you wondering), when I hauled my old mare over to the local horse park for a dawn, pre-work gallop. The date rings so clear in my mind because on the way back to the barn, The Princess and I stopped to vote. Well, she didn’t actually vote, not being of voting age, of course, but I did. And then neatly turned the very self same rig I was currently driving around on a dime and handed back $0.06 change! But that was a very long time ago.

    And now, at this very moment, I am hauling the $700 Pony down a lonely dead end road, stopping every hundred yards or so to try and turn around. I tried a 43-point turn here, moved on the next relatively wide swath of dead end roadway to try a 37-point turn. Anyone watching would have thought the rig was being driven by an idiot. They would have been right.

    Of course, it all worked out in the end. Despite my moronic miscalculation of the Wal-Mart parking lot as a major NJ thoroughfare and an equally village idiot move to leaving the wide open spaces of the parking lot for a dead end road I was eventually able to by sheer force of will turn the rig around and get going in the right direction.

    I did get to my trainers barn in time to squeeze in a ½ lesson. And because she knows me so well, she didn’t even ASK why I was late. Which is good, because telling her I had gotten ‘lost’ would have been more humiliating than being lost. She did, however, mention that she though my new vest was just spiffy.

    Anti-climax: The pony had a lovely lesson. For those of you who don’t know me in person (which would be every single one of you, I think) I have been known to take a bit of, shall we say, literary license with the facts. I DO actually ride the pony and it is possible, although not necessarily probable that she will be ready to event this spring.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    May. 8, 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    6,813

    Default

    A good friend of mine recently mentioned in a very off hand way that she thought I was a little on the anal side. I was aghast. I’m would be the opposite of anal. Anal people have their lives in ORDER! Anal people are not up until 4am trying to get a 14 year old printer to print out addresses on their Christmas Cards. An anal person would have realized that it would have taken less time to teach the cat to write and then have her address the cards.

    No, no, I’m not anal. But I kind of wish I were, just a little.

    Anal people can get places ON TIME. Not to mention CLEAN and TIDY. Or at least some relative version of clean and tidy. I am one of those people who always look disheveled and like they are running late. Usually because I am.

    I did decide, though, that with the advent of the $700 Pony, that it was time for a fresh start. You know, one of those, “Today is the first day of your life” kind of deals. I could present myself a little better at the barn, tidy up a bit, plan better to be sure to be on time. Blah, blah. So I bought myself one of those charming little Ariat vest. Hey, you’ve got to start somewhere, and “A” for Ariat seemed like a fine place.

    Having purchased said charming Ariat vest, it was time to bite the proverbial billet and scheduled a lesson with my trainer/therapist. People were beginning to ask me if the $700 Pony was some weird delusion that I had made up in order to get invited to the barn Christmas party.

    I scheduled a lesson for a week away at 10am. And, with my new resolution of being the new improved pulled together me, I put together a plan for the new improved pulled together $700 Pony. I mean, I really like the $700 Pony, but the truth is, she looks a lot like a $700 Pony. She needed at least two parts elbow grease and 1 part Cowboy Magic to get her looking more like a, say $750 Pony. So plan as follows: (a) trace clip her (b) pull her mane (c) wash her tail and (d) clean my tack.

    It goes without saying that none of this happened. I have two tiny children. For those of you who do not have experience with human children, imagine that you have four female dogs who have all whelped at the same time. Each bearing twelve puppies. The bitches have rejected the puppies and you have to hand feed each of the 48 puppies. And you have lost both of your hands in a combine accident and can’t afford prosthetics. This is a close approximation of life with two tiny children.

    I gave up on the trace clip when it took me four weeks to get a blanket that fit. I FINALLY got the wight wug two days before my lesson. But, since the $700 Pony faints dead away every time I approach her with the clipper, I decided discretion was the better part of surviving to collect social security and left her fuzzy.

    She also fainted every time I tried to pull her mane. So I pulled a little bit every day. I figured a couple of hairs here and a couple of hairs there every day and before you knew it, she would have a tidy pulled mane. And probably by Easter, she will. Okay, so her mane looks a little shaggy, not the end of the world.

    As for washing her tail, well, given her reaction to clippers, I decided that fighting the great water battle in the dead of winter might not be such a great idea. A little Cowboy Magic and a brush, a quick bang (which is not exactly the same thing as the ‘quick bang’ that would do my poor husband a world of good right now) and her tail looked pretty spiffy.

    So now we are down to the things you can accomplish the night before: clean pony and clean tack. Feeling that hefty burden that all mother’s shoulder (that would be “guilt,” people), I decided that my 48 orphan puppy equivalents needed more attention than the $700 Pony, so I skipped the barn the night before and added an extra hour on the morning side for Pony Prep.

    Are you ready for some higher math?

    Lesson is at 10:00am. Add 1 hour for cleaning Pony and tack + 1 hour trailering + ½ ‘bonus’ hour because I am a moron and cannot possibly stick to a time schedule. I decided that I needed to leave the house at 8:30. That would be am, not pm. Anybody out there scratching their head?

    Yeah, so here’s what happens. 8:30am comes and goes as I am patting babies on the head, trying to locate a missing file for my husband and shouting out last minute instructions to my mother in the proper care and feeding of tiny children. She raised me so clearly she has no idea what she is doing.

    I finally hop in the truck around, say 5 minutes to 9, thinking “Good thing for that bonus ½ hour!” I go into abrupt cardiac infarction when I see that the clock in the truck reads FIVE MINUTES TO TEN!! Where’s the fruitbat!!?? I resume normal pulse and respiration when I realize that I never bothered to change the clock in the truck for daylight savings time. And then return to previous state of cardiac infarction when I realize that I have screwed up big time.

    There will be no clean tack, no clean $700 Pony and it is possible there will be no lesson.

    With one eye pasted to the rearview mirror, I scream to the barn. Officer McGinley and I had a business meeting a couple of years ago. His business, alas, which would be dealing with miscreants, not mine.

    Specifically, it was 6am and I was 5 minutes into my hour and 15 minute commute to work and I had had no sleep the prior night since child #1 was not at that point sleeping through the night. Officer McGinley pointed out to me, the picture of legal politeness, that he had clocked me doing 61 in a 40mph zone.

    I, the picture of blithe foolishness replied, “Well, could be worse! I was only in fourth gear and about to shift up when I saw your lights!” After that episode, my husband and I decided it might be safer if I stayed at home with the children.

    Arriving at the barn and thanking the higher power that the Fancy Schmancy Facility people had read my note and left the $700 Pony inside, I broke all landspeed records for hitching up the trailer and fled down the aisle toward the $700 Pony.

    Luckily, the $700 Pony took pity on me and got right on the trailer. The list of stuff you need to take with you for a lesson is actually tattooed on my palm (so I forgot a girth ONCE, um, and a bridle, well, maybe twice, oh and there was that one time I left my saddle back at the barn. Well, it’s not like I drown kittens, for crying out loud!) so I did head out the driveway with hat, bat, gloves, saddle, girth, and bridle as well as the Pony.

    So there I am now flying down the road and I reach for my cell phone to let trainer/therapist know I am on my way, which, by the way, is technically illegal in the state of NJ, and luckily for me, (whew!), my cell phone is on low battery. Ah, well probably not a good day to stop at the Verizon store to get that car charger I have been talking about buying for the past decade. Could probably get the handless thing, there, too, but who the heck has time for that kind of stuff?

    So what is the damage? Well the 1 hour I blocked out for trailering is really too much. It is less than a ½ hour driving in my car, so figure 40 minutes, tops with the trailer. And it is only 9:33 and it is only a ½ hour lesson and my trainer/therapist doesn’t have another lesson until 11:00. So it’s going to be fine. I’m going to be a little late, and the $700 Pony is going to look like a $700 Pony and I am going to look exactly like I usually do, except with a charming little Ariat vest on, so what the heck. All is well.

    But pride cometh before a fall, does it not? Because as I am trucking along, I realize I am making better time that I thought. So much better in fact, that I am beginning to believe that I will pull into the driveway REALLY CLOSE to 10:00am. So it will be like I am not late at all, mostly. And maybe with the charming vest on, I can pull it off!

    But you know that is not the case. And you are not going to believe what I did next, because I can barely believe it myself. But believe it. It really, truly happened this way.

    And to clarify, I have lived in this general vicinity for YEARS. I have driven these roads for the past decade and a half. But let us not forget that I cannot add 1 hour + 1 hour + ½ hour properly.

    So there I am at the stop light, ready to make the turn onto Route 78, counting the seconds as they tick off on my truck clock, thinking, “Maybe, maybe, I will not be TOO late…” when I accidentally turn into the Wal-Mart parking lot.

    Well, shoot! you say. How in the heck could anyone mistake a WAL-MART PARKING LOT FOR A MAJOR NEW JERSEY STATE THOROUGHFARE??????

    Well, no matter HOW it happened. It happened. And there I am, in the Wal-Mart parking lot. With my rig. And here’s the kicker, folks. THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS!! Bad time to get caught in the Wal-Mart parking lot. It was a bit like an Escher sketch. You could get in, BUT THERE WAS NO WAY OUT!

    I went left – there was a monster Hummer blocking my way. I went right, there were a flock of mini-vans disgorging their human cargo. I feint, I jab, I punch and I am stuck in the Wal-Mart parking lot.

    It was with an air of desperation and that I finally gave up on the seemingly simple task of turning my rig around in the Wal-Mart parking lot to duck out down a small side road with the ominous sign “Dead End.” Why would anyone do this, you ask? Because in my rose colored glasses world, I am thinking dead end = cul-de-sac = nice turn around area.

    Okay, raise your hands, anyone who actually passed Geometry in High School. Remember all those bloody logic theroms? Well here is a new one for you: while all cul-de-sacs are all dead ends, NOT ALL DEAD ENDS ARE CUL-DE-SACS!

    It has been years since I regularly squired my horse around. Pondering this as the sweat marks formed under my less and less charming Ariat vest, I had a flashback to the 2000 Presidental Election (where the h&*l is THIS going, I can hear some of you wondering), when I hauled my old mare over to the local horse park for a dawn, pre-work gallop. The date rings so clear in my mind because on the way back to the barn, The Princess and I stopped to vote. Well, she didn’t actually vote, not being of voting age, of course, but I did. And then neatly turned the very self same rig I was currently driving around on a dime and handed back $0.06 change! But that was a very long time ago.

    And now, at this very moment, I am hauling the $700 Pony down a lonely dead end road, stopping every hundred yards or so to try and turn around. I tried a 43-point turn here, moved on the next relatively wide swath of dead end roadway to try a 37-point turn. Anyone watching would have thought the rig was being driven by an idiot. They would have been right.

    Of course, it all worked out in the end. Despite my moronic miscalculation of the Wal-Mart parking lot as a major NJ thoroughfare and an equally village idiot move to leaving the wide open spaces of the parking lot for a dead end road I was eventually able to by sheer force of will turn the rig around and get going in the right direction.

    I did get to my trainers barn in time to squeeze in a ½ lesson. And because she knows me so well, she didn’t even ASK why I was late. Which is good, because telling her I had gotten ‘lost’ would have been more humiliating than being lost. She did, however, mention that she though my new vest was just spiffy.

    Anti-climax: The pony had a lovely lesson. For those of you who don’t know me in person (which would be every single one of you, I think) I have been known to take a bit of, shall we say, literary license with the facts. I DO actually ride the pony and it is possible, although not necessarily probable that she will be ready to event this spring.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb. 17, 2000
    Location
    Berlin, CT
    Posts
    4,013

    Default

    Ok, if you are not a writer in your real life them you should be!!!! Your posts are always a hoot.
    "You are under arrest for operating your mouth under the influence of
    ignorance!" Officer Beck



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2001
    Location
    Ft Worth, TX, USA
    Posts
    3,862

    Default

    Thank you, thankyou! I had a lousy day, but this helped to cheer me up! Of course, I've never gotten lost pulling my trailer and had to drive 11.3 miles farther down a 2 lane highway to find a place to turn around. I wouldn't have had to go quite so far if I'd found a house sooner that looked empty. Some people don't like it when you drive a truck and horse trailer through their perfectly manicured yard.
    "Everyone will start to cheer, when you put on your sailin shoes"-Lowell George

    What's the status on Tuco?



  5. #5
    Join Date
    May. 13, 2002
    Location
    Rancho Santa Fe, CA
    Posts
    51

    Default

    Thank you so much for the latest installment. I have two tiny children also and love the description.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    May. 6, 2004
    Posts
    228

    Default

    I've also done the 37-point turn with the trailer, dead late and panicking! Good for you -The $700 pony sounds like a doll! I'm eagerly awaiting the next installment! Your posts are wonderful :-) and I really hope you will both be eventing this Spring (just please avoid Wal-Mart and mini-vans in the meantime!)



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov. 19, 2000
    Location
    The Southern California freeway system, stuck in an endless commute
    Posts
    5,902

    Default

    Bravo! From a hunter person who was always too big to ride a $700 pony. http://chronicleforums.com/images/cu...milies/cry.gif
    Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul. 18, 2004
    Location
    Red Bank, NJ
    Posts
    1,646

    Default

    i really love reading about your $700 pony adventures!

    i lost it when i read the part about the Ariat vest- i *just* bought one on sale not even 2 months ago and i have been feeling quite charming myself http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...on_biggrin.gif
    Sarah K. Andrew | Twitter | Blog | Horses & Hope calendar | Flickr | Website



  9. #9

    Default

    Look on the bright side... at least the $700 pony didn't manage to convince any kidlets that she deserved some of their $1 cotton candy or a sip of their 25 cents Sam's Choice Cola. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...on_biggrin.gif
    "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
    you have a right to be here." ~ Desiderata by Max Ehrmann



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr. 15, 2003
    Location
    Northeast MA
    Posts
    4,022

    Default

    OmGih! I think that either you are channeling me, or I'm channeling you in the lesson preps, except there is no Wal-Mart between me and my lesson farm.

    And the "quick bang" comment still has me chuckling and wiping tea off my keyboard.

    You are the best RR. I hope you, your monastic husband, the 48 puppies and the $700 pony have a great holiday season.
    They don't call me frugal for nothing.
    Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar. 11, 2001
    Location
    Grand Rapids, MI
    Posts
    879

    Default

    Thank you!
    I laughed out loud - it made my day! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...icon_smile.gif



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2003
    Location
    Bristol, TN
    Posts
    1,708

    Default

    Honestly, I'm a writer, and it is damned hard to write anything this funny, and you are damned good at it! I am feeling really depressed this morning--my mother-in-law and her husband are due soon--I can't complain to my husband because he is way more depressed about it than I am (those are half his genes, after all)--logging on and getting a new $700 pony installment was exactly what I needed! Thanks.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2000
    Posts
    22,422

    Default

    I LOVE to read your stories. I hope you are printing them out for your scrapbook. Because when your kids are older and they ask why Mommy is in the loony bin, your husband can pull out the scrapbook and reply, "You see, there was this 700$ pony...."
    Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
    Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
    -Rudyard Kipling



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul. 10, 2003
    Location
    Virginia bred, Carolina transplant
    Posts
    1,262

    Default

    Oh you are funny! My life with one 6-month old is crazy (no sleeping through the night for me either yet), so I can only IMAGINE two... I'm impressed you were even able to fine the fancy vest in your house - surely a baby bomb has exploded in your house too!!!???!!!



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul. 16, 2004
    Posts
    196

    Default

    Why do you call her the $700 pony???



  16. #16
    Join Date
    May. 8, 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    6,813



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 2003
    Location
    Gulf Coast of Texas
    Posts
    582

    Default

    RR, I can't decide whether you've made an inadvertent typo (the familiar reference to "biting the bUllet") or have created a fabulous new turn of phrase, which not only has a basis in fact (I HAVE bitten a BILLET, when my hands are too slick with sweat or covered with Cowboy Magic to tighten a girth and teeth are the only remaining tools), but has instant resonance for riders.

    Well done! As usual!

    (WalMart parking lot and dead end notwithstanding, I also don't recommend taking your rig through the drive-through at McDonald's for a quick snack after a long, tiring trail ride. What was I thinking? I wasn't. We were hungry. It was my companion's idea. Working through the 23-point turn, the 27-point turn, the 32-point turn, the 38-point turn, all with intermittent help from various cowboys, some of whom spoke English, solidified my resolve never to do it again.)

    I can hardly wait for "The $700 Pony Goes to An Event."



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan. 24, 2004
    Location
    Sergeantsville, NJ
    Posts
    2,539

    Default

    Last time I was racing for a lesson (pony in tow and daughter beside me looking at wristwatch), I decided she REALLY should eat something before her lesson. Ever try to go through the drive-through at the Burger King in Hillsborough (NJ) with a trailer? It's impossible to do with a TRUCK, let alone one attached to a trailer. Everyone, including the trainer, got a good laugh that day. Wait until your two tiny children are told enough to tattle on you!



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jun. 28, 1999
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    893

    Default

    Once again, I can't stop laughing..... http://chronicleforums.com/images/cu...milies/lol.gif
    ***
    The hardest to learn was the least complicated.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Oct. 4, 2004
    Location
    Lexington KY
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    1,374



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