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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2008
    Location
    Greeley, Colorado
    Posts
    3,562

    Default Holiday Depression

    Does anyone else struggle from it? It seems to be especially hard for me this year as it's my first *real* holiday season away from home (i.e. not within driving distance as home is 2,000 miles away).

    I live with my BF, who unfortunately had to work today/tonight (he works night shifts so he sleeps all day). I had no fancy dinner, no drinks, no football on cable, anything. It's been a big adjustment.

    I'm looking forward to Christmas and seeing my Dad who is flying out here but that is also stressful because I have to do Christmas on a 20-something horse trainer's budget (i.e. almost nothing). It will also be only the second holiday season since my Mom's passing.

    So how (other than copious amounts of alcohol) do others get through depressing holiday seasons? I'm just not feeling it at all this year.
    **Friend of bar.ka**

    Fils Du Reverdy (Revy)- 1993 Selle Francais Gelding
    My equine soulmate



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul. 23, 2006
    Location
    Stockbridge, Michigan
    Posts
    3,674

    Default

    Yes, big time.

    I always do, but this year much worse.. my beloved grandmother back in England is fading quickly, the doctors have said not to expect more than two weeks.

    I stayed home today, read in bed with my dogs mostly.. I love my husband's family, but I just couldn't muster trying to put a game face on.
    I recognized with despair that I was about to be compelled to buy a horse ~
    Edith Somerville and "Martin Ross"

    "Momma" to Tiempo, Tucker and Puff, RIP my beautiful Norman 8/2012



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 1, 2006
    Posts
    419

    Default

    Hang in there. Resist the temptation to over indulge because that tends to make you more depressed in the long run. Try to stay busy and physically active.... While riding/training is physically demanding, cross training (running, weights, exercise dvds) will enhance your fitness and keep you moving.

    Do you have friends in your new area other than the BF? I know some young adults in my area who celebrate together when for whatever reason they can't go home for holidays.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2003
    Location
    Hollywood, but not the one where they have the Oscars!
    Posts
    6,811

    Default

    I fight it every year. Thanksgiving is when my father was killed...so it has never been a happy day in my life.
    Alcohol actually makes depression worse..so.....

    This year I am too busy to be depressed, which is good, and has not been the case for the last 3 years.
    "You can't really debate with someone who has a prescient invisible friend"
    carolprudm



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb. 26, 2011
    Location
    Its not nowhere, but you can see it from here
    Posts
    3,575

    Default

    So sorry Dani. Wish I had known you were alone, you would have been more than welcome out here. DH had to work, so we baked Christmas cookies all day, then when he came home, we went to see Puss in Boots. Just getting ready to eat. having a dairy is alot like having a racing stable. You fit the holidays around you

    Holidays were hard for me, but it helped that I moved here with my daughter. Time to make new traditions that feel right to you. Sometimes going through the motions of what you used to do makes it worse. Doing something totally different is often easier.

    You have to take your dad to this one house off of 4th st. They decorate like crazy and set it to music, which 94.3 plays every half hour!! I will get back to you with address!
    From AliCat518 "Seriously, why would you NOT put fried chicken in your purse?!"



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2008
    Location
    Greeley, Colorado
    Posts
    3,562

    Default

    Thanks guy, glad to know I'm not the only one!

    Tiempo- So sorry about your grandmother. I know how it feels to have someone so close to you be ill and you're too far away to do anything. Jingles for a recovery

    Arktos- I tried my hardest to work today (at least do a feeding or something) but my boss was totally adamant about me taking the day off. Luckily, I'll be back at work and physically busy tomorrow which I'm sure will help

    Missy- Sorry about your Dad. I know that alcohol makes it worse but at least it temporarily helps. Glad you're too busy to be upset though

    RustBreeches- No worries. BF and I went to see The Muppets before he had to go to sleep. It was pretty funny!! Definitely PM me that address so I can take Dad there. It definitely sounds like fun
    **Friend of bar.ka**

    Fils Du Reverdy (Revy)- 1993 Selle Francais Gelding
    My equine soulmate



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2001
    Location
    Trailer Trash Ammy!
    Posts
    19,520

    Default

    You will think that the litany I am about to relate cannot possibly be true but I assure you it is, all within the last 5 years:

    My cat of a lifetime died on TG.

    HRH Avery died Dec. 5.

    A friend of mine attempted suicide on Xmas Eve and took until midafternoon on Xmas Day to finally die.

    Another friend and his entire family, including his 2 little girls, were dragged to their basement, bound, gagged, beaten to death and set on fire by crackheads on New Years Day.

    I *hate* the fact that life has kicked the living sh*t out of the whole "holiday spirit" concept for me, but it has. The holidays are to be feared and survived, and that's about as good as it is ever going to get. I still rage against the dying of the light and have decided I'm putting up my Christmas tree Dec. 5 in honor of the great-hearted Avemaster, but really, just give me a good book for Christmas and let me blank the rest of it out, thank you. The worst is actually New Year's though. I can't actually contemplate New Year's without wanting to throw up.
    "The standard you walk by is the standard you accept."--Lt. Gen. David Morrison, Austalian Army Chief



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2008
    Posts
    1,808

    Default

    My brother was killed the week before Christmas, and since then.. it hasn't been the same for me. what has helped, is now I have a niece and nephews. You just can't stay depressed around little itty bitty kids, they have a way of helping through it. My nephews are 5, 1 week, and soon to be born, and my niece is 2. I didn't make it home and won't this year.. but my nephew told me all about his thanksgiving play when I called today. My niece is just learning to say my name, and kept saying Big Turkey today on the phone. (my other nephew is adorable.. sister sent photos of him in his cute outfit they got him.. it's a turkey cap lol). Last year was really hard, but making a snow man, having the kids help me decorate a tree.. we did an adopt-a-kid for my workplace last year and i took my nephew with to help pick out toys for another little boy (he thought it was really cool to do that). We also started buying an ornament that reminds us of my brother every year for a special tree at mom's. Still hurts sometimes.. the first year, we all kind of danced around talking about my brother, not mentioning him, etc.. but that hurt even worse, so now we talk about him when it comes up. mom still makes his favorite cookies (which everyone else hates haha.. cept now, my niece lol).
    "Sadly, some people's greatest skill, is being an idiot". (facebook profile pic I saw).



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug. 10, 2008
    Location
    Canton, GA
    Posts
    780

    Default

    It can be really difficult when you've grown up having and/or desperately wanting those "Normal Rockwell" holidays. I know it is the most trite advice ever given, but go to a homeless shelter or food kitchen or hospital oncology ward or old folks home. My mother was in a nursing home for six months before she died. There were people in that home who didn't have a visitor for weeks on end. I spent the Christmas season of 2008 in a cancer ward, my husband was my only visitor as my daughter and her husband went on a cruise.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan. 6, 2003
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    3,249

    Default

    Yes, absolutely.

    The trick is to continue to go through the motions, despite not wanting to. Be honest with yourself about what you can skip without feeling like a schmuck for it. Take plenty of Vitamin C, and get OUT in the sun as much as possible. Of course barn work, fresh air, riding, and quality animal time is healthy for my brain too.



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