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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 2010
    Location
    Texarkana, AR
    Posts
    1,579

    Default My parents have just dropped a bomb on me

    I need some help from you COTH enablers. To give you the back story. My dad has a history of getting on these "kicks" about things. At one time he had a thing for Belgians. It wasn't enough just to get a well broke team to play around with on the farm, he had to get a stud and some mares and start breeding them. Never mind the fact that he had neither the time, facilities or expertise to care for and break them. So soon we were over run with unhandled Belgian colts. He got tired of them and sold them all to a dealer. God knows what happened to them.

    His next thing was haflingers. Again, he didn't buy a well broke team that we could play around with on the farm, he has to look for "bargains" (He fancies himself a horse trader.) One of his "bargains" was a young, supposedly gelding. He brought the horse home, there was no obvious "equipment", the horse was not studdy acting, so he was turned out with the two young mares. One day I went in to feed the horses and noticed that Pockets wasn't a gelding. Of course by this time, he'd bred the mares. Ok, I could deal with that and I made an appointement with the vet to have Pockets gelded. My dad refused to take him. I begged him to have it done. I told him there was no market for these type horses, we didn't have the time or facilities to handle young, unbroke horses, etc., etc. He responded that he liked to see the foals, the mares may as well be producing, etc. Flash forward 4 years, we are over run with haflingers and haflinger crosses. I did manage to sell all of the pure bred haflingers for him and I did get Pockets and the older colts gelded. I have been trying my best to keep the remaining colts separated from the mares until I can get the money together to have them gelded. I've got 3 to go.

    Next, donkeys. We were at a sale where there was a pen of 3 scraggly looking jennies. My sister has sheep so she decided to bid on a jenny to put with her sheep as a livestock guardian. But my dad buys all 3 and 2 are pregnant. Ok, I can deal with that. But then he goes and buys a jack to continue to breed the jennies. Flash forward 3 years and we now have 7 donkeys. I did manage to get rid of all the jacks except one that is gelded.

    Here's the kicker. I took them a casserole for supper last night. When I got to the house my dad announced that he was selling the farm and that he had a buyer looking at it that day. So here I am stuck with 14 horses and 7 donkeys that I am looking at finding homes for. My house sits on 8 acres separate from the rest of the farm and they have promised to deed that to me so I will have enough land for the 3 old guys and my daughter's pony but I'm going to have to find homes for the rest of them. Nobody else in my family cares. They would be just fine with just loading them up and carrying them to the next low end auction and be done with it. These are nice ponies, young, fairly gentle but haven't been handled a lot. They are mostly haflinger x POA. I am going to list them on the COTH give aways and CL but I would appreciate any other advice on finding them good homes. I will continue as long as I can to work with them and give them some training.

    I know this is a bad situation. If you want to start flaming, go ahead. But I didn't have control of the situation and did my best to try to stop it. It's just me and I don't have a lot of resources. I've had to fight my family every inch of the way to try to take as best care as I could of these horses. I feel like the guy from Greek mythology, Sisyphus?, who had to push the boulder up the hill every day for eternity, just to have it roll down again. I didn't create this mess but I'm the only one who cares enough to try to deal with it. My stomach is in knots and I didn't sleep hardly at all last night. I'm sorry for the rant but you are the only people I know who will understand what I'm going through.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2

    Default

    I don't have any good suggestions, but I'm forwarding this post to Christine of Gentle Giants Draft Horse Rescue here in MD (hey, we help out Haflingers too!). I know the rescue is full right now and you guys are pretty far away, but sometimes she gets people from all over the country asking about horses. She might know someone closer to you who can help out.

    EDIT: Talked with Christine, only person she knows out that way looking for a pony needs kid safe, not a mostly unhandled project.
    Last edited by analise; Apr. 20, 2011 at 11:13 PM.
    The Trials and Jubilations of a Twenty-Something Re-rider
    Happy owner of Kieran the mostly-white-very-large-not-pony.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    31,481

    Default

    My advice?

    Get the deed NOW.

    then worry about the horses and donkeys.

    (would those be Half-linger ponies?)

    No idea, just crossing my fingers for you and jingling for the ponies
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4

    Default

    I agree with Alagirl that you should get the deed to your property ASAP.

    I'm looking for a pony... Have you posted on Giveaways yet? (I'm far from you though...)



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 27, 2010
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    2,561

    Default

    Get the deed for your place before something happens to that and you find yourself with 30 days or so to find a home for self, family and critters.

    I understand helping out your folks but your dad is an adult....put it on him....he created this mess. Quit enabling him and make him clean it up. Offer information but make him make the calls etc and get them placed. Make him take the photos and put them on CL or wherever. Make him take the phone calls and show the horses to those interested. I'm not saying don't help but do make him do some of the work. Fortunately Haflingers seem to be pretty popular (at least in this area...there aren't a lot of them). You might put a "dispersal sale" ad on places like Dreamhorse.
    Colored Cowhorse Ranch
    www.coloredcowhorseranch.com
    Northern NV



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar. 23, 2005
    Location
    SF Bay Area
    Posts
    2,670

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alagirl View Post
    My advice?

    Get the deed NOW.

    then worry about the horses and donkeys.
    Took the words right off the tip of my fingers.

    Good luck... you've got a lot to deal with.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep. 20, 2010
    Location
    United States of Absurdistan
    Posts
    1,736

    Default

    GET THAT DEED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IF NOT SOONER!!!!!!!!!!!

    That said, could you buy the farm from your parents? They could hold the mortgage and you pay them. That is if you want the farm.

    Other than that, maybe put that you have horses that need placing ASAP in the title.

    Maybe the rescues that post here can be rallied to take some of them

    Good luck

    LBR
    I reject your reality, and substitute my own- Adam Savage

    R.I.P Ron Smith, you'll be greatly missed



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun. 23, 2006
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    3,585

    Default

    Yeah, get that deed ASAP.

    My mother is the same way with going on "kicks" but thankfully none of hers have involved animals. It's awful.

    Have you posted to any breed-specific boards/groups?

    http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/haflingerfriends/


    Good luck to you. What a stressful situation.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
    Posts
    5,463

    Default

    Yup, get that deed NOW, before a buyer makes an offer contingent upon adding your 8 acres to the deal.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan. 9, 2006
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    2,371

    Default

    No advice really, but (((((((((HUGS)))))))))) You sound like you could use one-or a hundred. (((((((((((Hugs))))))))here's another.

    I completely understand where you are-my daddy would do 180's on stuff all the time. I didn't usually have to pick up the peices but sometimes my mama did and it was not fun. Talk to him. Make sure that he deeds your part off asap. Sometimes Daddies mean well, but just never get around to stuff that needs to be handled. BTDT.
    http://community.webshots.com/album/548368465RfewoU[/url]

    She may not have changed the stars from their courses, but she loved a good man, and she rode good horses….author unknown



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct. 2, 2007
    Location
    Beyond the pale.
    Posts
    2,957

    Default

    OP, you sound like a responsible, sensible person.
    Why did you pick such nutty parents?
    Just sympathy, no advice. And good luck with the rehoming projects.
    "The Threat of Internet Ignorance: ... we are witnessing the rise of an age of equestrian disinformation, one where a trusting public can graze on nonsense packaged to look like fact."-LRG-AF



  12. #12
    Join Date
    May. 2, 2007
    Location
    Area II
    Posts
    1,233

    Default

    I don't have any suggestions, and I'm certainly not going to judge you. I just wish you were closer b/c I know of at minimum 2 farms in the area that could probably take 1 horse each. I wish I could help. Do you have a local magazine or local resources you could put simple ads in? In the mid-atlantic area we have the Equiery, plus many online forums and various groups for dressage, eventing, etc.

    Good luck, I'll be jingling that you can place them all soon.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 2005
    Location
    Spotsylvania, VA
    Posts
    12,992

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CatOnLap View Post
    OP, you sound like a responsible, sensible person.
    Why did you pick such nutty parents?
    Just sympathy, no advice. And good luck with the rehoming projects.
    Sense is not contagous or hereditary and certainly not common. Ask me how I know
    I wasn't always a Smurf
    Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
    "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
    The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug. 10, 2010
    Location
    Western NY
    Posts
    1,640

    Default sorry I can't help...

    but bless you for caring about those animals.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov. 5, 2008
    Location
    North Georgia
    Posts
    2,086

    Default

    I don't see why someone would flame you. Your parents are adults, and what they do is their sole decision. You have a great weight on your shoulders because, to you, these are living breathing animals. To your father, they are a commodity to be bought, sold, and traded.

    While not animal-related, my future FIL gets on similar kicks. They have filed bankruptcy twice, have a repo man looking for one of their vehicles, and my FIL has four desktop computers and three laptops (he fancies himself a technology trader,) two brand new DSLRs, and then complains about not having enough money ($70) to stay in a hotel for our wedding.

    I would continue to list them in the Giveaways ("to approved homes") with the "cost" of adoption being their gelding (payable directly to their Veterinarian of choice?) I don't know if that's doable on COTH or not, but I'd ask. Are there any rescue groups in your area that can help you with placement? They may have some applications handy for people looking for Haflingers or other pony-crosses.

    You need to get that deed asap before that becomes part of the negotiations with perspective buyers, and I'll send some jingles your way that you get some much needed help for your dilemma!
    If wishes were horses then beggars would ride...
    DLA: Draft Lovers Anonymous
    Quote Originally Posted by talkofthetown View Post
    As in, the majikal butterfly-fahting gypsy vanners.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jul. 5, 2007
    Location
    Beside Myself ~ Western NY
    Posts
    6,760

    Default

    Wow. Your Dad sounds like he would get along great with my Mom. Fortunately, most of her dreams and schemes don't get past the dreaming board. Enough of them do though. You have my empathy.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov. 4, 2003
    Location
    Dallas, Georgia
    Posts
    16,631

    Default

    If anyone dares to flame you, they can deal with me. So there-hmph. You're doing an awesome job cleaning up his messes because you KNOW it's for the benefit of the horses. Granted, it enables him, but so be it for now.

    I'd list what you have over at www.draftwarmbloods.com too - That sight gets a good bit of traffic countrywide and might just help you move 'em out.

    (((( MORE hugs for ya ))))
    <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- "When they try to tell you these are your Golden years, don't believe 'em.... It's rust."



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec. 12, 2004
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    6,472

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by coloredcowhorse View Post
    Get the deed for your place before something happens to that and you find yourself with 30 days or so to find a home for self, family and critters.

    I understand helping out your folks but your dad is an adult....put it on him....he created this mess. Quit enabling him and make him clean it up. Offer information but make him make the calls etc and get them placed. Make him take the photos and put them on CL or wherever. Make him take the phone calls and show the horses to those interested. I'm not saying don't help but do make him do some of the work. Fortunately Haflingers seem to be pretty popular (at least in this area...there aren't a lot of them). You might put a "dispersal sale" ad on places like Dreamhorse.
    That's great, except from the OP's post, I get the idea that her dad just WON'T do any of that stuff....he is not acting like a responsible adult, and doesn't feel any need to. If the OP "makes him" put the craigslist ad up...I suspect it just won't get put up.

    Kudos to you, OP, for trying to straighten this situation out. It's too bad that you are so far away...ponies are hot sellers here in New England. Get that Giveaways post written up right away, and try to get pictures of all the critters so that people who just want to take a chance and buy long distance mostly-sight-unseen will feel comfortable doing so.

    And yes, for God's sake, get that deed ASAP. Seriously.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Apr. 17, 2002
    Location
    between the barn and the pond
    Posts
    14,305

    Default

    Well, in a way it is a blessing. That land needs to be deeded to you regardless of whether Dad's raising goats or raisin' Cain. When they achieve a certain 'status' in aging and Medicare steps in to sniff around at assets, that land must be well and truly yours....and it has to have BEEN yours, for a number of years.

    This happening is a blessing- because it will MAKE you guys do the deed, pun firmly intended.

    Round bales can be your friend, too- but first, the deed.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2008
    Location
    now in KCMO, and plan to stay there
    Posts
    3,027

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CatOnLap View Post
    OP, you sound like a responsible, sensible person.
    Why did you pick such nutty parents?
    Just sympathy, no advice. And good luck with the rehoming projects.
    This! What a great tongue in cheek humor way to commiserate with her having lost the 'great Dad' lottery and instead getting a pain in the neck Dad. (I wonder if he has ADHD). Definitely agree with get the deed now, if it means you forcibly drive Dad to the attorney's or county clerk office.
    Last edited by sdlbredfan; Apr. 20, 2011 at 03:33 PM. Reason: clarity
    Jeanie
    RIP Sasha, best dog ever, pictured shortly before she died, Death either by euthanasia or natural causes is only the end of the animal inhabiting its body; I believe the spirit lives on.



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