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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2000
    Location
    Central Coast, CA
    Posts
    1,433

    Default Upsetting last 2 weeks - how to cope

    The last two weeks have been rather upsetting for me. It's been a series of events and it's getting to me.

    It started two Thursdays ago when one of my outside kitties, Jasper, was run over.

    Jasper was a dump job who showed up on my property at the beginning of spring. He was an obviously well-cared for older neutered cat who had just been tossed out. He was a very handsome gentleman who had his own ideas about things. His favorite thing was to lay in the middle of my lawn in the sun and he loved his snuggie box at night. At night he always went hunting mice across the street in the flower fields so in my heart I knew the day was coming when he might get clobbered. Sure enough, he didn't come for breakfast one day and I found him in the orchard where he had crawled and died. Broke my heart - I didn't think I would miss him that much but, well, I do.

    Strange thing - I know when he was killed. One of my cats, Duncan, usually wakes up anywhere beween 0620 and 0630. But that day he was awake at about 0500. He kept clawing at the curtains and coming over and looking in my face and patting the covers by my head. He clearly wanted something from me, so I kept listening and listening, but didn't hear anything. I had heard the tractor go by on the street a few minutes before, but that wasn't unusual. Duncan did this several times and finally went and sat by the end of the bed by the window. He appeared to be listening for awhile, then he came back by me and lay down and went to sleep. I don't even want to think what was happening, but I am convinced Duncan was trying to tell me something.

    That was followed by the beautiful dead fox I pulled out of the road the next night. (I can't bear to see them run over and over and mashed.) And then there was the gorgeous buck that had been hit by a car and was still struggling to get out of the road even though it's back was clearly broken and legs had been seriously mangled. Fortunately, the local Sheriff's Dept came out and destroyed him. Two days ago, it was the little black kitten dead in the road.

    Today, as I'm driving home from the barn I looked over in one of the freeway exit grass areas and there is a stunning young Siamese cat playing with a mouse. I stopped the car and tried to catch her but she ran away. In trying to track her down I found four little kittens - clearly hers - in the drainage ditch off the gore point of a very busy freeway exit. I had no box or anything - not even a paper bag - to transport them with. Plus, they were down a steep hill, I didn't want to fall on my ass and frighten them, and I really felt that I could not catch them and leave their mama behind or the 5th kitten I think I saw. I went home and of course, on the way home, there on the side of the freeway was another cat sitting in the grass. I was in the wrong lane, going too fast and blocked in by an 18 wheeler coming up on me. I was in tears by the time I got home. I didn't want to leave the babies there or not help the other cat. I called a local animal rescue and the woman said she would go look tomorrow for the mom and babies, but of course, tonight it's pouring buckets and Mama cat may have moved them, if she didn't abandon them altogether.

    Sorry for length but these incidents make me feel like I am losing little bits of my soul. I am feeling overwhelmed - I have other stressors in my life but these are really getting to me. How do I decompress? Any one else out there feeling the same? What did you do?
    "Cats aren't clean; they're covered with cat spit."
    - John S Nichols (1745-1846,writer/printer)

    There's no reasoning with crazy people.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec. 1, 1999
    Location
    flyover country
    Posts
    1,738

    Default It does seem that you have had a terrible two weeks

    [[[[[[[hugs]]]]]] over the loss of your baby. I don't really have any advice. IF you were able to catch all the kittens, could you care for them? Good luck.
    ps. I don't know how rural the freeway entrance was, but I see cats all the time sitting inide the fence of the freeway. It disturbs me, but it is in an urban setting.
    Another killer of threads



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul. 26, 2001
    Location
    Toronto, Canada.
    Posts
    6,127

    Default

    Sounds like you have a huge heart. Things will get better!!



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 26, 2001
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    4,311

    Default

    I tried to catch a cat at Walmart last night at 11:00. I had to settle for leaving a can of cat food.
    I rescued 11 kittens this summer, one of them just jumped square in the middle of my breakfast.
    I know I can't help them all, but I will take one in and do what I can. Maybe there is a kitty at the shelter waiting for a good home that you CAN help.
    Sorry for this tough time.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2000
    Location
    Full time in Delhi, NY!
    Posts
    6,392

    Default

    These are the times that try animal lovers souls, truly. I commend you for stopping to think before you tried to rescue the Siamese kittens, or the other cat. When I see dogs in those situations I'm usually parked on the side of the road walking with a leash, treat, blanket (if it looked injured) before I stop to ask myself, is this a good idea right now?

    I'm sure Duncan was trying to tell you about your passing kitteh. His sense of hearing is much more acute than yours and I'm sure he heard what happened.
    ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
    Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

    "Life is merrier with a terrier!"



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2000
    Location
    Full time in Delhi, NY!
    Posts
    6,392

    Default

    These are the times that try animal lovers souls, truly. I commend you for stopping to think before you tried to rescue the Siamese kittens, or the other cat. When I see dogs in those situations I'm usually parked on the side of the road walking with a leash, treat, blanket (if it looked injured) before I stop to ask myself, is this a good idea right now?

    I'm sure Duncan was trying to tell you about your passing kitteh. His sense of hearing is much more acute than yours and I'm sure he heard what happened.
    ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
    Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

    "Life is merrier with a terrier!"



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun. 15, 2010
    Posts
    2,235

    Default

    *hug* my boyfriend often tells me my heart is too big for my body and I think you are no different. It hurts to see animals suffer or to watch a lost puppy or kitten run away from you instead of towards you. Your gift of empathy makes you a wonderful owner but it also means that the losses are acute. I don't have any words to make it hurt less but try to take comfort in the gift that you have be given.

    So many people are callous. Their hearts are hardened to the suffering of animals. People like you are rays of light. You help others see that compassion is a beautiful thing and that animals need our help. Stay strong and try to remember that your compassion is a gift even though it might feel like a curse at times.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2007
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    4,533

    Default

    It can be overwhelming sometimes when you're so tuned in to the animals. I've had days like that too, frustration and sadness. The world can be so hard for animals...

    You do what you can for the ones you come across and sometimes you just have to sit on the floor with the ones in your house and love on them and cry a bit if you need to.

    You do what you can and mourn what you can't...

    Be glad you have a kind heart.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    Location
    El Paso, TX
    Posts
    11,701

    Default

    Hugs.

    I can sympathize. It's awful seeing animals that are dumped, run over, injured, killed. We have a terrible problem here with dumped/stray animals. I rescued a Shih Tsu off the median of the Interstate a couple of years ago. I was so worried it would run from me and go into the traffic and I'd see it get hi, or worse, have it get hit and be injured out in the fast moving traffic, and I wouldn't be able to do anything. Fortunately, I was able to grab it as it turned to run.
    Try to remember the saves/good you have done, and not dwell on those you couldn't save.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2009
    Posts
    8,148

    Default JINGLES & AO ON THE WAY

    JINGLES AND AO FOR YOUR LIFE TO SETTLE DOWN A BIT ```

    BLESS YOU FOR HELPING ALL THESE CATS ```
    Zu Zu Bailey " IT"S A WONDERFUL LIFE !"



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov. 19, 2003
    Location
    OZ
    Posts
    638

    Default

    When I was 'way younger...like 10...I used to see animals dead on the side of the road, and I would imagine that right before they had been hit an angel came down and gathered their tiny souls safely away before they could feel any pain. Sometimes it helped...

    These days the cynic I've become is not much comforted by such thoughts, and honestly...daily...I see situations wherein one of God's creatures is suffering, has suffered, did suffer.

    My house is full of cats who were homeless (8 and counting), and every summer we seem to attract some local former 'kitten' who has become too big to entrall some neighbor's kids. We fix them, and find them homes as quickly as we can, else we add them to our family.

    For the first time in my entire life I HAVE A DOG, a small chihuahua bitch who at 6 years was considered unadoptable by our local AC because she'd spent her entire life in a 2' by 3' cage at a puppy mill and was terrified of EVERYTHING.

    I worry constantly about the skinny barn cat whose two kittens are sucking her down, aware that I'm the only one who will bother to worm her and find her kittens homes.

    Then I see dozens of ads on our local Craigslist where somebody has decided their adult cat or dog 'needs a home where someone will spend more time with them'. Which is code for 'we don't want them any more; they aren't cute.'

    Sometimes I get really, really angry and type up nasty, scathing posts to the Craiglist idiots...but don't send them. Or I sit in the barn and hold the skinny kitty, promising her that as soon as I have a few bucks free, I'll pick her up some healthier kibble than the Walmart brand she is presently fed.

    And sometimes I snuggle little Mimi, the Chi, just a bit closer to my heart and rub her belly or between her big ears, happy that she and I saved each other. After 5 months she is still shy of my DH, but she and my two bed kitties curl up together, and she plays well with our newest saved puppy who was dumped because he was dying of listeria and E. coli.

    It is a terrible world out there for animals and children, the only things I can work the least bit of sympathy for these days.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2000
    Location
    Central Coast, CA
    Posts
    1,433

    Default

    When I was 'way younger...like 10...I used to see animals dead on the side of the road, and I would imagine that right before they had been hit an angel came down and gathered their tiny souls safely away before they could feel any pain. Sometimes it helped..
    Like on "Dead Like Me?" I admit I cried every time I saw the kid who came to take the animals' souls.

    These days the cynic I've become is not much comforted by such thoughts, and honestly...daily...I see situations wherein one of God's creatures is suffering, has suffered, did suffer.
    My imagination gets the better of me - I wish I could turn it off.

    Or I sit in the barn and hold the skinny kitty, promising her that as soon as I have a few bucks free, I'll pick her up some healthier kibble than the Walmart brand she is presently fed.
    Do you need some coupons? I have some I can send you. That Walmart stuff is dreck but it's better than nothing. Let me know if I can help. People are always giving me coupons and samples of stuff or leftovers their cat won't touch.

    Thanks all for kind comments - I feel a little better. I have a lot of cats at my house - I have the indoor 13 and the outdoor 8 so maybe in the great scheme of things a mother cat and 4, possibly 5 kittens crammed into my doll sized bathroom would not have been a good thing. But my head always says go now and figure it out later. I guess I worry about it more than most because the last 2-3 times I've seen the animal on the roadside then next day I saw it dead. I always have this feeling (definitely self-imposed) that God is judging me for not doing enough. That they were put in my path for a reason and I didn't do anything. I suppose that I have raised masochism to a new level, ya think?


    My poor cats - when I got home they all got hugged so hard they squeaked. Bless all of you with rescued animals - give them extra hugs and smooches from me and all my refugees.
    "Cats aren't clean; they're covered with cat spit."
    - John S Nichols (1745-1846,writer/printer)

    There's no reasoning with crazy people.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 26, 2005
    Location
    Deep South
    Posts
    4,514

    Default

    Misery loves company. I have had two really depressingly dismal weeks too. Maybe a collective plea for the black cloud to move from over our heads would help. I will send mine up!
    "While people are arguing over whether the glass is half full or half empty, I'm just gonna drink it and be thankful." - Cowboy

    Track to Trimac Thoroughbreds on Facebook!!!



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2000
    Location
    Central Coast, CA
    Posts
    1,433

    Default

    Add mine!!!!
    "Cats aren't clean; they're covered with cat spit."
    - John S Nichols (1745-1846,writer/printer)

    There's no reasoning with crazy people.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar. 25, 2011
    Posts
    393

    Default

    I am sorry you had such a crappy week...I always wonder if there is something wrong with me because the stuff you have seen bothers me so badly. We had a deer, and I call them my deer, was hit like the buck you described. It was a very dark and cold night and the sheriff wouldn't come, so my dad shot her and we pulled her off of the road. I just couldn't leave her their suffering. Made me so sick.

    Then there was the neighbor's cat, that had been hit and still alive, sitting on the white line on the side of the road, at 6:30 in the morning, and cars just whizzing by. What is wrong with people??? I stopped and stopped the traffic...she ran from me back to her barn. Cars honked and someone yelled out of her window, "she must have been hit." Thanks Einstein. Long story short, the BO didn't do anything and the cat layed dying all day under the front porch and when someone did go to get her, they couldn't reach. I called another friend who works at OSU and they sent her with a cage and a catch pole and she got her and rushed her to the university, where they provided her a peaceful end.

    I don't know why people can be so awful, but yet there are the ones of us that go out of our way to help and cry over these lovely creatures.

    We are also full of many dumped cats and have nursed many kittens tossed out of cars...I have 5 in my house.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Sep. 7, 2009
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    15,481

    Default

    I've been known to email people giving away free kittens and puppies to ask if they have spayed the mother. Probably doesn't do any good, but makes me feel better.
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant



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