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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2009

    Default Quarter Life Crisis?

    Anyone else been through one?
    Or been through life crisis that can comment?
    I came into this year completely sure of what I wanted, what I was going to school for, what I was gonna do after school, what I was gonna do over the summer. It wasn't a rigid "have my PhD by such and such an age" or "work at x for however many years" but it was still a plan.
    I should have known making 'plans' would only backfire, I have NEVER been a planner.
    Then at the beginning of this year I met this guy. He's like... a soulmate - but not in the "I love you lets spend the rest of our lives together" sense but the "A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life" Elizabeth Gilbert description.

    Now I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I deleted my facebook, and twitter, COTH is pretty much the last 'social network' I am part of.
    I want to be a math major, I want to be a chem major but I'm tired of being burnt out all the time, I want to go places I've never been RIGHT NOW, I want to pitch a tent and hike everyday, I want to play the ukulele and sit with my feet in the ocean, I want to meet people I've never met and learn from them.

    I don't know.
    I'm just feeling very - out of control.
    any advice?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr. 1, 2008


    check your sleep amount/schedule and sugar intake.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2007


    Take a deep breath and step back for just a minute. Get things back in perspective. The sane you is still in there, just give things a chance to settle back in.

    I hear you, I really do. Been there. My house burned and it seemed like with it went all shreds of my sanity for about 2 years. But once I got back to sleeping better (forget that it's 330AM and I'm awake with a hotflash) and feeling a little better things seemed to fall back into place nicely up until this past summer when I completely threw out the plan and now there is a new one. But at this point it was old hat and I know enough to just go with it and let it happen.
    Riding the winds of change

    Heeling NRG Aussies
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    El Paso, TX


    I disagree w/EG's description of a soul mate. And reading between the lines of your post, it sounds like infatuation with a guy, who may have a different way of living, with no plan. Plus when things get tough as you become an adult, often the desire to run away, break free and escape sets in. That's common at your age. Kind of like how 3 and 4 yr old horses might be very well behaving, but rebel when they turn 5.
    Hillary Clinton - proven liar, cheat, traitor and defender of rapists! Anyone but Hillary 2016!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May. 26, 2006
    North Carolina


    I seriously, truly, am preparing to write a book on the many ways that I despise Gilbert for her portrayal of the quarter-life escape as you needing to run away from it all on such a grand scale.

    I had a horrible quarter-life crisis. It was my own personal experience that did end with running away. But when I returned to my "normal" life, I still had the crisis. It wasn't until I could find a way to merge the spice and adventure with a regular 40-hour a week job and home that I really found peace. I find my inner peace with the "Work Hard Play Hard" mentality. I don't drink till 2 am (I hardly ever drink, really), but I spend as much of my free time doing things that I enjoy, and filling my time with LIFE, and I use my vacation time wisely.

    So yes, I've been there. It sucked. It took the largest natural disaster on american soil (Debatably - some say the Dust Bowl comes in as #1) to chip at the feeling of discontent, and it took about 4 more years to start to feel "Good" about where I was in life. But trust me, you don't have to run off to India for 3 months to get there.

    Though I highly recommend two weeks in Spain.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep. 1, 2007


    Before you jump off the deep end and do all the things that you want to do, give yourself a couple of weeks to relax and get your bearings.

    If you have seriously thought through what you want to do and you still want to take some time off "real life" and hike and travel and you have a feasible way of doing so, by all means, DO IT!!

    You do not have to live your life according to any standards but your own. You have more control over your life than you know. By the way, its a short ride in the end and you will further regret that which you HAVEN'T done more than what you have.

    Just make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. Make sure this is what you want. Have a back-up plan and don't put yourself into a situation that you don't feel you can comfortably get out of.

    All in all, do what is going to make you happy (within reason), and try to make it something that is going to put your heart and soul in a better place.

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