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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan. 10, 2006
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    1,182

    Default Sold my first horse-No contact/reply from new owners Update-Sheza is coming back

    Last weekend I sold my saddlebred mare Sheza. She was my first horse so just a little bit special...

    I ended up selling her to an older lady who had horses when she was younger and wanted to start riding again and just wanted a trail horse. They came out and saw her, liked her, and came to pick her up last weekend.

    I didn't have any time to be sad (cry) when they picked her up because I was so nervous. Sheza loaded on the 3rd try which was good but as soon as I shut the divider she started to panic. I think she must have known that on this trailer ride she wouldn't be coming back. I have never seen a horse shake like Sheza did, all her muscles were quivering and she was so nervous she even peed on the trailer. As they left the driveway you could hear her banging around, I figured she would calm down on the road or wear herself out sooner or later.

    Me and the new owner had talked and she said she would be sure to keep me up to date and send pictures. I was for sure I would hear from her the next day letting me know that they arrived back at the farm safely. It has now been over a week since they picked her up and I haven't heard from them. I emailed her yesterday and have yet to get a reply.

    I know that the horse is now theirs and they really have no obligation to email me but I would really like to know that my horse is okay!

    Also, now that my mare is gone I have to start finding a new home for my gelding. I was planning on keeping him but he is too heartbroken without another horse around. He stands at the fence line by the road waiting for his mare to come back! The lady who bought my mare was interested in my gelding also but I know that he would not be a good fit for them. Of course my parents think that home would be perfect for him and tell me about it every time I see them which is really getting on my nerves! They don't understand that a green herd bound gelding would not be a good match for her daughter who was scared when she was being led around on my mare... They also don't understand that I don't need to be stressing over horses while i'm currently away at school taking an 8 credit hour human anatomy and physiology class and applying to nursing schools!

    Sorry for the long post and the vent, I just need to share my feelings about selling my first horse with people who understand, unlike my parents and boyfriend!
    Last edited by ~DressageJunkie~; Nov. 13, 2011 at 05:42 PM.
    -Lindsey



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2007
    Posts
    2,169

    Default

    No news is good news. If she didn't make it safely, you would likely have heard. There may be good reasons new owner hasn't replied yet to your mail--that was only yesterday and she may not even have gotten it. She may have given the mare a week off to adjust, and just doesn't feel she has anything to tell you yet one way or the other. Hopefully they are having so much fun together that you are the last thing on their minds. Hard to envision, I'm sure, but isn't that really the best thing for your mare?

    I know it's hard to let them go, but you have to. This is the adjustment period. New owner and mare (and you) have to get used to things changing. Things do change--none of us get to stay the same, and it sounds like your mare has a nice new home with an easy job. Sure, she was scared to go, because she didn't know what was going to happen, but she'll find out it's ok.

    I'm happy to let sellers know the horse got there safely, and always do so myself. I'm sorry the seller didn't give you at least a quick message about that. But I've also had a seller calling and messaging me frantically over the fact that the shipper wouldn't take the special grain that she wanted fed to the horse on the long-distance trailer ride. Uh, I'm not gonna let MY horse be fed grain while being shipped. His care is my concern now.

    Very quickly this seller got on my nerves, because she was calling me while I was trying to board a plane, and when I got off, I had three more voice mails from her. She actually questioned my choice of shipper (Equine Express!) and said she was hesitating to put him on the trailer. Then after I assured her he'd arrived safely, she sent me a bill for shoeing him the day he left. One look at his hooves and I could see there was no way he'd just been shod.

    I stopped responding, I was getting so upset I had to have my trainer call her back or I would have yelled at her.

    So yes, vent here, we do understand. *hug* But also understand that the owner and her new horse are bonding now, and you aren't foremost in her mind. Be patient and wait awhile to hear.

    Just like you need to concentrate on your studies and your future, the new owner and mare need to concentrate on one another.
    Ring the bells that still can ring
    Forget your perfect offering
    There is a crack in everything
    That's how the light gets in.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct. 26, 2010
    Location
    Orygun
    Posts
    2,947

    Default

    Let go. I noticed you said "my horse". She's not anymore.

    The stress in your post is something else. Let it go. The lady will get back to you when she feels it.

    I had a girl bug the snot out of me and finally I had to get plain and simple. It wasn't pretty either. Please don't let this get to that point. :-)
    GR24's Musing #19 - Save the tatas!!



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    Deep breath.

    It'll be OK! I'm sure the mare is fine. Focus on the gelding, finding him a good home.
    What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what
    lies with in us. - Emerson



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan. 10, 2006
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    1,182

    Default

    I know it's not my horse anymore, didn't mean for it to come out that way.

    Don't get me wrong, I am glad she's gone! I always felt bad that she was sitting in the pasture when I knew she was the type of horse who much preferred attention.

    It just worries me that I haven't heard anything when she was getting pretty scary in the trailer. I also just have to hope it's a good home, I had to sell her for cheap and didn't really get to approve the home. My parents wanted her gone. I can't afford to worry about her or protect her for the rest of her life!
    -Lindsey



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2003
    Location
    Windward Farm, Washougal, WA- our work in progress, our money pit, our home!
    Posts
    7,422

    Default

    I hear you! I've sold a few over the years, and it always bothers me if the new owners don't at least give me the "hey, got here ok, everything's great!" call or email. I know when I sell them, they are no longer mine, and I've no right to have a hand in their lives anymore, but I love it when people keep me updated on my old ponies.

    Call! Can't hurt.
    Proud member of the "Don't rush to kill wildlife" clique!



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan. 17, 2008
    Location
    Dutchess County, New York
    Posts
    4,364

    Default

    I just got a new horse -- owned by a teenager too -- and I have emailed on average every other day with updates on the horse because I know it is very hard for his former owner. And they appreciate hearing, and it is not a big deal for me to do it. I am sorry the new owners aren't as thoughtful.

    I'd say, give the email another day (some people don't check email that often), and if there's still no reply, go ahead and call. I don't think one email and one call is too much.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 7, 2006
    Location
    Knoxville TN
    Posts
    1,306

    Default

    I sold mySillySaddlebred, and the new owners have called, texted and facebooked regularly for the first couple of weeks, and they are all so happy together. It made it so much easier for me because it reassured me that they were the right sort of family, who cared. The following week I finally managed to get all her papers to them, and included a present for them, to reassure them that she came from a home who cared. So I feel bad for you, and I wish your guys would call you too.



  9. #9

    Default

    This is probably terrible to write on this thread, with all the encouragement and "don't worries" from other posters, but I am a little concerned about your horse. You said a) you sold the horse for cheap b) you checked no references and c) sounded like you were in a bit of a hurry. They put an upset horse on the trailer, left, and you haven't heard a word since.

    You have two choices. You can let it go, and make sure you place your gelding in a home where you are more sure it's permanent and appropriate as best you can tell, or you hopefully have a phone number and can call this buyer and make sure they haven't already sold the horse down the road (if you really want to know).

    My concern is they said they would send pictures and updates, and they haven't. Since you have really no idea who they are, you really have no idea where your horse went. It does not sound like you can take the horse back, so I probably would let it go, but if you have any doubts, call these people up.

    Also, your story about the daughter being scared of the horse raised another little red flag for me.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan. 10, 2006
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    1,182

    Default

    Kwill, I did not have many options in the sell. My parents are the ones paying and caring for the horses while i'm at college and they decided the horses need to be sold.

    I have a phone number and will give them a call in a day or so, I am just going to give them a bit longer to reply to the email. I had several phone conversations with the new owner and met her twice in person (once when she met the horse and once when she picker her up). From that perspective they seem like a great home. They have lots of acreage, a barn, close neighbors who are horse people, and previous horse experience. She seemed very knowledgeable, just had been out of horses for a few years. I doubt they bought the horse to turn around and sell, I sold her cheap but they would not be able to turn a profit on her in this market.

    About the daughter, the horse I sold was not for the daughter, it was for the mother. The little kid just wanted to get on and be led around so I let her. I was just using that as an example as why my gelding would not be a good choice for them! They were looking at another horse for the daughter who was in his late teens but he became lame and they were questioning whether or not to pursue him. She even called me for advice about the situation and I told her I would be very weary of a horse that became lame right before you saw him. The vet decided it was probably from a kick but the horse was still lame a week later and the vet wasn't worried about a more serious injury which made me think the vet wasn't even called out or something else was up. I don't know if they ended up getting that horse or not.
    -Lindsey



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov. 29, 2005
    Posts
    2,625

    Default

    It's hard- you just have to let go.

    In all honesty you just have no idea how a 'new owner' is going to turn out. We had a very nice gelding go to a 'show home' where the owner had great references, kept us up on his well being for the first two months and how special he was yadda yadda yadda. 8 months later- he was lame, underwieght, dumped where thankfully a 'rescue' networked him into a new place. The new place (not a rescue) rehabbed and 'sold' again a couple months later.

    I had given a horse away to a family- and the feedback from references was so so. But I had a different gut feeling so I let them have the horse. They are a great home and it just fit... years later everything is still going well.

    I have more 'horror stories' and more 'happy endings'. But when the horse leaves your barn- you can only hope that they have a good trip the rest of their life.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr. 21, 2000
    Location
    Upperco, MD
    Posts
    479

    Default

    If you believe you chose the right people to buy her, then you need to trust them and stop worrying. That's why you chose to sell her to them, right?



  13. #13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ~DressageJunkie~ View Post
    Kwill, I did not have many options in the sell. My parents are the ones paying and caring for the horses while i'm at college and they decided the horses need to be sold.

    I have a phone number and will give them a call in a day or so, I am just going to give them a bit longer to reply to the email. I had several phone conversations with the new owner and met her twice in person (once when she met the horse and once when she picker her up). From that perspective they seem like a great home. They have lots of acreage, a barn, close neighbors who are horse people, and previous horse experience. She seemed very knowledgeable, just had been out of horses for a few years. I doubt they bought the horse to turn around and sell, I sold her cheap but they would not be able to turn a profit on her in this market.

    About the daughter, the horse I sold was not for the daughter, it was for the mother. The little kid just wanted to get on and be led around so I let her. I was just using that as an example as why my gelding would not be a good choice for them! They were looking at another horse for the daughter who was in his late teens but he became lame and they were questioning whether or not to pursue him. She even called me for advice about the situation and I told her I would be very weary of a horse that became lame right before you saw him. The vet decided it was probably from a kick but the horse was still lame a week later and the vet wasn't worried about a more serious injury which made me think the vet wasn't even called out or something else was up. I don't know if they ended up getting that horse or not.
    Good -- then you don't need to worry, and can just let go. Some people just don't have the time to cultivate a relationship with someone they bought a horse from, so emailing you isn't on their priority list. So I am sure you will hear from them eventually. Sounds like you did the right thing, covered all your bases, and your horse is fine!



  14. #14
    Join Date
    May. 30, 2011
    Posts
    8

    Default Be persistent!

    You know, I don't understand the 'out of sight, out of mind' advice at all. This is an animal, not a car!!

    If you sold her with the understanding that they would communicate her well being to you, then that is what you have a reasonable right to expect.

    "(buyer) may not have time to cultivate a relationship"- what person who just purchased a new horse can't find one minute to send an e-mail or leave a message?! Ridiculous.

    Honestly, please at least drive by, or call/e-mail maybe once/week until you at least have some peace of mind and know the mare is being fed!!! No, legally she may not be yours. However, you had discussed communication after the sale so you are not out of line and in fact, are exhibiting behavior of a responsible pet owner by expecting such communication.

    I'm sorry your parents aren't being more supportive. Best of luck to you and I am sure your due diligence will be pretty extensive for your gelding.

    ETA- Do a reverse phone look-up to see if you can track down an address, or just look them up- assuming they paid with a check (sorry if too strong-it's the auditor in me... just thinking of desperate measures...)
    Last edited by Holly2; Oct. 12, 2011 at 02:08 PM.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    May. 21, 2011
    Posts
    1,431

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Holly2 View Post
    "(buyer) may not have time to cultivate a relationship"- what person who just purchased a new horse can't find one minute to send an e-mail or leave a message?! Ridiculous.

    Honestly, please at least drive by, or call/e-mail maybe once/week until you at least have some peace of mind and know the mare is being fed!!! No, legally she may not be yours. However, you had discussed communication after the sale so you are not out of line and in fact, are exhibiting behavior of a responsible pet owner by expecting such communication.
    So the new owners changed their mind about the "communication". That is their prerogative. Period.

    Badgering someone who wants nothing to do with you just because they bought an animal from you is not going to end well. For you.

    MYOB.



  16. #16

    Default

    Please see my earlier post, where I was the only person really concerned. Dressage Junkie assured me that she had done her due diligence, and I was probably worried for nothing. So I was responding to that. I agree, a person who assured her she would keep up the relationship and now is completely silenced would worry me, but DJ says she thinks it's ok, so I can't say she's wrong. I was just trying to put a positive spin on the whole thing.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    May. 21, 2011
    Posts
    1,431

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Holly2 View Post
    ETA- Do a reverse phone look-up to see if you can track down an address, or just look them up- assuming they paid with a check
    Wow.....Just wow......

    What are you going to do when someone slams the door in your face?

    Break in?



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan. 10, 2006
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    1,182

    Default

    I haven't heard anything back yet. I will give them a call in a few days but after that there isn't much I can do. I do worry that I haven't heard from them when they said they would keep in touch, but beyond that they seemed great. I will just have to trust them and hope she is well cared for the rest of her life.
    -Lindsey



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Feb. 22, 2007
    Posts
    3,928

    Default

    FWIW I'd never think to call a former owner when I got a horse home unless they specifically ask me to. I don't know why really, I always call training clients or whatever when I get home with their horse, but it just wouldn't in that case.

    It can also take me a week to answer emails. "Keep in touch" means an email every month or so. Just sayin'...

    I really wouldn't worry yet. It seems like you knew the type of home pretty well and were pretty comfortable with it, so I think holding off for a few days then calling like you plan is a good idea.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jul. 24, 2008
    Posts
    3,926

    Default

    If she's already sold, and you're in no position to buy her back, you might as well let it go. If they give you an update, that's nice; if you hear nothing, oh well, they are not obligated.



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