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  1. #3201
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
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    between the mountains and the sea, North Carolina
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    2,936

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    Quote Originally Posted by ParadoxFarm View Post
    Sorry, Event4Life, jumped the gun! haa. It certainly sounds like you've found a nice place. We used to do a "jumper night" back when I lived in Michigan. Actually, that's where I met my husband, oh, 20 years ago!
    I'm keeping my fingers crossed for me then...lol!

    anddd good luck with the horse! I love Appendixes, so hope it goes well for you :-D.
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey



  2. #3202
    Join Date
    Mar. 24, 2013
    Posts
    14

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    Thank you all for your amazing responses and I appreciate every one of them. I did a month of liberty and I do not like chasing a horse around with a whip. I was excited when I had to start riding because of my leg injury but the situation isn't getting any better. The "last straw" for me was last Saturday when I was insulted. I do not want to see the trainer again if I do I will talk back to her because I am so pissed! If I didn't know any better I would say she is trying to discourage me so I will leave but that may be the case.

    Event4 Life-I feel the same way that I am training the horse to ground tie and to do liberty.

    twelvebelles- I cannot ride the horse without one lesson per week. I have the lesson but I still can't ride on my own-go figure! Yes, I am pissed about the slimming underware remark-It is an insult.

    Tigerhorse. I agree that not everything happens overnight but I should have made progress by now. I am not a beginner but she treats me like one-another insult!

    Button-I have to laugh at your response! Master plan? I don't think there is one I don't think she has that one figured out and if there is I would never reach it at the rate I am going. WTF a girdle? I couldn't have said it any better!

    Dewey-I am glad your arm is going to be ok. A control freak? Never thought of that one pretty well sums it up. The girdle remark came out of the blue-she was complaining about my posture and she told me about the girdle right in front of other people. Then she had the next student sit too far forward so I could see what I looked like!!

    Here is my next step: I started the lease in March and paid 1st and last months rent. I am to give 30 days notice if I wish to stop lease. I just sent my notice today registered mail. I sent a check for April before I decided not to continue but stopped payment on the check today. Tomorrow I let trainer and horse owner know by text what is happening. I have previous injuries that are bothering me again and am starting PT tomorrow. Not that I need one, but that will be my reason for quitting otherwise they might make me take lessons thru April as required by contract. I can't handle anymore contact with trainer!

    Tomorrow I will let you all know what the responses are from all involved!



  3. #3203
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2003
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    3,062

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    Welcome aboard, zacdos! Sounds like you are doing the right thing ditching that trainer. As you get more familiar with COTH, you may be able to get pointed towards a trainer that more suits your style.

    Sounds like everyone has a lot going on! Dewey, I hope you're ok! Falls are never fun. Paradox is back to lessons, so high five on that! And SV, ummmm, that's NOT supposed to happen to your son. Ever. I hope he's ok. And Event4Life, are you contemplating a barn change? If so, I hope it goes well.

    My horse is going soundly, and we are finally allowed to jump everything that everyone else in the lesson is jumping. He's turned out most of the day, and that seems to have stopped his coughing. Our current plan is to just treat symptoms if and when they appear, and don't do any invasive diagnostic work. After all we've been through, I'll be happy enough with lessons and fun shows. I'll miss the big A shows, but my bank account won't.

    Looking forward to some warm weather over the next few days! Winter has been here way too long.
    It's 2014. Do you know where your old horse is?



  4. #3204
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
    Location
    between the mountains and the sea, North Carolina
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    2,936

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    zacdos - glad you have decided to move on. Good for you, and please continue posting as you pursue further lease options! We're usually good at "smelling a rat" lol.

    Pony4me - I hear you on the warm weather! It is at least sunny, but I could do with some mid-high 60s days! Barn move has happened. Luckily I'm just moving me and not a horse so there's less drama involved. I don't want to go into the details but I'm glad I got out now. It is rough because the last place was great in some ways, but my moral compass dinged too far in the "this is not okay" direction for multiple reasons. The lesson I described from Tuesday was at the new place & it went really well. I liked the trainer a lot and she's like the hunter-jumper version of my old event trainer from when I was a teen, which is great. I think I've been trying to find that since I left her. I'm home the rest of this week but will go back next week so I'll lesson again Tuesday then hack a few sales horses for her hopefully at the weekend.
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey



  5. #3205
    Join Date
    Sep. 23, 2002
    Location
    Eastern MA
    Posts
    2,411

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    *sigh* I finally had my first fall at the new(ish) barn. We did a really nice line (complete w/ 2' vertical! My first vertical in years!! Small, yes, but still!) and then he spooked at something happening in the outdoor - which he could see in the 4" gap the indoor door was open -I'm used to his spooks, so thought I was ok, but then he decided whatever happened was scary enough to also warrant taking off...I wasn't quite back from the spook, so off I went My "upper" bottom and left thigh are so sore!

    He's a spooky guy in general, but usually much more mild than this. I already noticed that I've been a little anxious about the possibility of him spooking and I realllly hope that doesn't get worse Not only is he really a good boy and my part-lease, but he's really the only horse in the barn I can lesson on since the rest are ponies or too advanced for me right now.



  6. #3206
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2008
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    936

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    Well it has been a rough week. Jack still hasn't passed all the oil the vet gave him. He is happy and active and banging the barn down so we are feeding him his normal amounts. He will get his hay soaked and his grain will be as sloppy as can be. He will also be turned out with his herd again. Hopefully this is all good for him to keep progressing in the right direction.

    Rolypolypony- Sorry about your fall. I hope all is well. It can be challenging with the spooky ones!!

    Zacdos- I'm glad that you are moving on. That place just isn't right.

    Pony4me- Glad your boy is doing better! I hope for a fun summer for you guys!! I still miss all the excitement of going to the big shows but really I found out they aren't worth the worry for our guys. Have fun with him. There are a ton of other things you guys can do to get away from the farm a bit.

    Paradoxfarm I will be thinking of you hopefully trying that appendix tomorrow!! I hope everything works out!!

    Eventforlife- Good luck at this new place. Sounds like it will be a good fit for you. I also feel like I have been looking for my trainer that I grew up with here in Pa. I just can't seem to find what I had in CT here. But my place now is pretty darn close and my trainer is all kinds of awesome.



  7. #3207
    Join Date
    Apr. 2, 2003
    Posts
    4,949

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    I am having severe horse buying anxiety at the moment. I found one that I really like (From CANTER) and I am just having real difficulty committing to the financial and time aspects. I really would like to ride and am having a lot of difficulty finding something capable that won't cost just as much as owning my own.

    I can afford it, but I am just having real difficulty committing and I don't know why. The last time I owned a horse I had a lot of time, and I was at a barn where I knew a lot of people-- but I've since moved and this means buying a new horse, putting him at a new barn, and basically jumping in feet first. I don't know why that makes me nervous, but it does.



  8. #3208
    Join Date
    Aug. 31, 2011
    Location
    southeast Georgia
    Posts
    3,373

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    Alterageous, of course it makes you nervous. It's such a huge commitment. This is a post of mine from just over a year ago when I was made up my mind to buy Sky. Hazel, Pancakes, and others who who around then will remember how hysterical I was as I was dealing with the results of the PPE and the owner's odd demands. Anyway, after everything was settled, I still had doubts:

    "I really appreciate your post. You have outlined all the reasons why I did not want to buy a horse at this time in my life. The only reason I am buying her is that I adore her, and I don't want to lose her.

    I think I can keep my head above water, but I don't have a lot of extra just now for emergencies, and the fact is, though I have tried to budget carefully, no one can really know how everything will play out ahead of time. I have been trying to think of things I can give up to save money so I can have an emergency fund or even insure her. Believe me, I have seen enough heartache at the barn over the past ten years to give anyone pause. One woman I know (actually, she's a bit older than I am) paid for three colic surgeries on her lovely young gelding, and then he died anyway. Another woman's mare died of an allergic reaction after a routine shot. Our barn owner bred her favorite mare to a lovely warmblood, and the gorgeous yearling filly died of sudden colic. And the stories go on.

    On the plus side, the B/O, whose experience and friendship I trust implicitly, is trying hard to help make this work by giving me a very good deal on board. She is doing this because she likes me and likes the mare. I am going to go ahead with this; I'm going to do my best to be careful, knowing that there are no guarantees. Call this a cautious leap of faith."


    So you can see that even though every situation is different, you're not alone. Buying a horse is a huge commitment, and there is no guarantee that you are going to get what you want out of it. All you can do is your due diligence--do a pull PPE and don't let anyone rush you into anything. You're among friends. We understand what you're going through.

    (And we want to see pictures of the CANTER horse!!)
    I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne



  9. #3209
    Join Date
    Apr. 2, 2003
    Posts
    4,949

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    Financially I will be okay. I won't be able to spend willy-nilly but I can more than afford board, shoes etc. The horse won't be able to see a chiropractor 3x a week, but he'd be well cared for.

    Part of me feels bad that I'm considering this when I still have student loans to pay, about $60,000 worth.

    I am having a lot of trouble because right now I am having difficulty hauling myself out to the barn for lessons-- it takes an hour to get there and I get to spend my lesson beating up a school pony. To take 2 lessons a week, would cost me $320/mo and board is $350. The only difference is that I could quit lessons if things got tight, but I can't quit the horse. I am not really wanting to ride because between the time committment, the crappy lessons, and the fact that there is zero comraderie at the barn because it's mostly lesson kids and I'm "old" to them-- I am just not enjoying it at all. If I had my own I could board 7 miles from my house.

    I'm worried I'll buy a horse and be alone in it because I don't know anyone out here, and with board I won't be able to afford a lot of lessons (especially since there's very little available in the way of training here right now).



  10. #3210
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
    Location
    between the mountains and the sea, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,936

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    Alterageous - have you investigated clinics? Do you like the trainer your lessoning from now enough to ask if she'll come to you for 1 lesson a month or something along those lines?

    You say you're worried about meeting people...That will come the more you get used to the new place and make an effort to be as friendly as possible. You wont feel at home in a day, but it will happen with time. And if that barn doesn't work out, there will be others.

    Nerves are natural. You are human. Do a PPE, take out insurance on horsey, budget carefully, and you'll be fine!
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey



  11. #3211
    Join Date
    Apr. 2, 2003
    Posts
    4,949

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    Quote Originally Posted by Event4Life View Post
    Alterageous - have you investigated clinics? Do you like the trainer your lessoning from now enough to ask if she'll come to you for 1 lesson a month or something along those lines?

    You say you're worried about meeting people...That will come the more you get used to the new place and make an effort to be as friendly as possible. You wont feel at home in a day, but it will happen with time. And if that barn doesn't work out, there will be others.

    Nerves are natural. You are human. Do a PPE, take out insurance on horsey, budget carefully, and you'll be fine!
    Current trainer doesn't travel (or really do what I do-- she is strictly a hunter trainer, and I really want to play more in the jumpers) very few around here do. There's a couple barns that have in house trainers but none with a really good trainer nearby. I could ship out to a lesson once a month but again, pushes the budget when I have to add in $60 of trailering and $100 for a lesson.



  12. #3212
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 2007
    Posts
    2,453

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    Alterageous - I say go for it! The world will seem brighter with a horse of your own. You will meet people at the new barn because they will all be interested in meeting the new horse. Besides, you won't be alone - you'll have your Canter Cutie!
    "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy



  13. #3213
    Join Date
    Nov. 17, 2006
    Posts
    4,302

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    zacdos, I'm crossing my fingers that all works out and you can get out of the lease and out of that barn. Keep us posted.

    pony4me, so happy your horse is feeling better! Will you be doing any local shows? Keep us (me) posted. Maybe I can come out and cheer you on, or maybe I'll be showing as well! I would love to come do one of the Hunters Court jumper shows.

    RolyPolyPony, sorry about your fall. Hope your guy gets over his spookiness. I'm no longer quite a fan of spookiness! I didn't bother me so much when I was younger. Good luck! And I hope you are feeling well.

    SuperD, I sure hope Jack is progressing in the right direction. It does sound like it. Thanks for your thoughts about the Appendix. Crossing my fingers all goes well tomorrow, though I still don't have a definite time! Sigh.

    Alterageous...take a breather. Maybe it's not yet the right time? If it's just normal nerves, just take your time searching and try to enjoy the process. If is SUPER nerve wracking, don't be afraid to back off for a little while. But I agree with others that in a new barn you will likely make friends. It'll be a fun challange. Good luck.

    I agree with Dewey, would love to see the Canter cutey! And I promise I won't go buy him from under you!
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    ¯ Oscar Wilde



  14. #3214
    Join Date
    Oct. 21, 2008
    Location
    West Palm Beach, FL
    Posts
    1,442

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiger Horse View Post
    Alterageous - I say go for it! The world will seem brighter with a horse of your own. You will meet people at the new barn because they will all be interested in meeting the new horse. Besides, you won't be alone - you'll have your Canter Cutie!
    I agree! If you have your finances in order, you should do it. If you have a barn owner/manager you trust, your time shouldn't be the issue. I work 4 days a week (not that much I know, but sometimes 5 are used for work) and I have $200k+ in student loans. My board costs more than twice yours and lessons are expensive. BUT.... I am SO happy now that I have a horse I love to call my own. He is everything I hoped he'd be.

    But it IS scary. When I was horse shopping and came close several times to buying, I felt like I was going to vomit. It was terrifying. The commitment, the $$. When the right one came along though, it wasn't even scary. It was exciting! If you feel like it's not right, then don't do it. But if you feel like it's a good time for you in your life and a good fit, then what's stopping you? The training thing is a concern, but is this new horse overfacing you to the point where you can't do anything without a trainer? That'd be scary. Having a horse does open up connections. Maybe someone else at the barn knows a trainer for you? Maybe once you have a horse your trainer will seriously recommend someone for you for your chosen discipline? All things to consider Good luck!



  15. #3215
    Join Date
    Mar. 24, 2013
    Posts
    14

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    Hello, I am out of the lease! I texted the trainer and the horse owner-who I am sure knows nothing of this. I only told the horse owner I was bailing and the trainer I just cancelled the the lesson. They were both sympathetic. I am real sorry I had to do it I wanted it to work so bad but it was not to be. I loved the horse he was a dream a 3/4 Arabian gelding with 3 crosses to Bask very well bred and beautiful. But it wasn't going to get me anywhere.

    I am considering telling the horse owner about what happened and why I really bailed. I know she really cares for the horse but also has great faith in the "trainer". I have nothing to loose and maybe I can help another leasee in the future.

    My next step is to find another trainer but I only want lessons so I can bail a anytime. I think it takes 6 months to a year to really figure out what is what and if you are going to like it there. My idea is to buy my own horse once I find a barn and instructor I really like. Pony4me suggested I might find a trainer on this forum. Does anyone now how I might do that?

    And lastly I would like to keep posting here and maybe I can help someone else out with my vast knowledge lol!!!



  16. #3216
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
    Location
    between the mountains and the sea, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,936

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    zacdos - do a forum search first on your area. Posts may come up with boarding barn and trainer suggestions. If nothing comes up then post either here on HJ or on Off Course depending on whether you want a specific HJ trainer or don't mind if the program is more general.

    As for telling the owner, it really depends on your relationship with her. Part of me says MYOB and don't add fat to the frying pan and all that stuff. Another part of me says if I was the owner I'd want to know your stopping the lease has nothing to do with the horse. You could maybe just tell her that and let her figure the rest out for herself.
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey



  17. #3217
    Join Date
    Nov. 28, 2012
    Posts
    165

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    Zacdos, I think the 6 month rule is a good one. I took 6 months of lessons before I half leased a horse at my first barn, and it was a good experience. The only problem was that I fell in love with the horse and was sad when the lease was done! I'd also say that the longer you ride at a place, the more horses you will be exposed to and be able to use. I like the idea of having one horse partner, but I also like being able to ride different horses. All the horses I ride teach me something new.



  18. #3218
    Join Date
    Aug. 31, 2011
    Location
    southeast Georgia
    Posts
    3,373

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    Quote Originally Posted by Event4Life View Post
    As for telling the owner, it really depends on your relationship with her. Part of me says MYOB and don't add fat to the frying pan and all that stuff. Another part of me says if I was the owner I'd want to know your stopping the lease has nothing to do with the horse. You could maybe just tell her that and let her figure the rest out for herself.
    I agree. Tell the owner that she has a lovely horse. You don't have to explain specifically why you're ending the lease, and I don't recommend it.
    I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #3219
    Join Date
    Apr. 26, 2000
    Posts
    3,166

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    Dewey - how are you feeling after your foray into the world of human lawn dart?

    Have been out of the loop not checking in regularly - now I'm so far behind many of your children have graduated...hahaha....

    Have read through everything but will miss something so apologies now.

    zacdos - welcome and RUN! Truly - ditto what everyone else said including don't tell the owner anything negative. Though well meaning, that could turn out something akin to shoving a stick in a yellow jacket hole. Do tell her she has a lovely horse and thank her for giving you such a wonderful opportunity. btw - When you mentioned Arabian a GIANT alarm bell went off in my head. Way back in the day -as a just turned teenager - I was given the chance to show some incredibly nice Arabs for a woman with gobs of money, a string of well bred mares & fillies, and that's about it (common sense, where art thou?). I was so desperate to be with the horses and I did learn a lot but getting to ride was never an important part of the package. I rode some but it was almost always (for 2 years) what you described in your original post. I did really well showing the horses in hand but it just kept getting weirder. Anyway - I shouldn't project - but glad you got out of the lease. You asked about trainer/situation recommendations...geographic location would be helpful. COTH has non-scary peeps all over the map. And you know how this horse world is - a web, network, whatever, of horsey people. A big barn with loads of horses may not be where you land, but through the web/network/whatever you will eventually land where you're supposed to be.

    Paradox - good luck on the horse purchase!! Keep us posted! Chico needs a pal. I would like to suggest that you try to focus on another gelding so you can call it The Man. Chico & The Man....haha, get it?

    Event4Life - I'm wondering - did you get sucked into a "yahoo" barn and then have to escape? Wilmington area has never had a overwhelming choice of riding opps. sorry it didn't work out but it sounds like the move has been great! And you still live near the salt air!!

    SuperD - ugh, Jack?? Wish I could do some "I Dream of Jeannie" magic blinky thing and fix those guts!! Sending jingles for continued progress.

    RolyPoly - feel better?

    Alterageous - ditto Tiger Horse & others who have said "just do it!" - (projecting in progress so watch out!) Getting my new mare has been like medicine. I didn't realize just how much of a change she made in ME until I overheard my husband, daughter, and some friends talking about how much happier and at "peace" I seemed. Yes, it is the new critter. I can't even mention her without grinning like a big ol' idiot!! I hate to even think it but....YOLO!! hahaha

    Life here has been crazy! New "farm as a business" is keeping me ridiculously busy - we do the organic & free range gig. Everyone and their brother wanting our blue free range eggs at Easter...several crazies wanting a chick/duck for the Easter basket - let me tell you those phone convos are like being trapped in a craigslist ad during a full moon!! ha! Yesterday was hay day, shavings day, and install the new honeybees day - 2 new hives, no stings - crossing my fingers and toes all those ladies are doing well (yeah, I know, they are bugs but still!! ) . Today I've got plantings outside and "greenhouse" transplants to move into bigger containers; the heavy equipment guy is coming to move an outbuilding; horse stuff AND I am actually getting my hair cut. Always a treat since people won't recognize me for a while without the trademark Compost Happens or circa 1990 Virginia Horse Center ball cap. The Amazon is wonderful but we are having trailering issues - as in she doesn't fit comfortably in the 2 horse straight load XW/XT. Ugh. And the transmission in the truck went out 2 days ago so there goes a giant chunk of the new trailer funds. But I walk out to the barn and holler for The Amazon - whom I call Big Sister, Sis for short - and she literally comes trotting to the gate with her giant stride, immense head, and precious little pony brain....and all the truck probs in the world just vanish. Damn, I LOVE this mare!!!

    Happy Easter, Pagan Egg Festival, Rabbit Day, or whatever to all y'all! Today I'm waking up feeling just so very blessed & excited...it's a pretty good life.



  20. #3220
    Join Date
    Aug. 31, 2011
    Location
    southeast Georgia
    Posts
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    Great post, Finzean. Would love to see a pic of you and the Amazon. I am fascinated by the description of your business! Sounds wonderful!

    I am doing better, thanks. The arm is much less sore. Now I have a spot on my ribcage that is sore, especially when I cough or sneeze, but I expect that to lessen with time. I suspect I cracked a rib as a result of my previous fall (about a month or two ago), and the pain from that lessened and was gone after a few weeks.
    I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne



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