Hoochie Bucket, Spankmonkey, Virginia (courtesy of Willem):
Mein little Ducster, now you be fourteen months old! Und becose your life wot it be being ein daddy horsje, here be der instructiones.
Mein selve I haff all ways finded mares wot they be ein different species. Kind off like Arabians. Mannie time they don't nott to know iffen they be coming or going. There be this man called Reggie Mate wot he come and talk to them some times und tell them to get mit der program aber usually this it usually don't nott to work.
Mares wot they haff baby horse eggs in their virginia. The virginia it haff opening under der tail in der middleburg between butt cheeks. Wenn you be going to make baby horse wot it be like this. You look at mare und say "Hallo mein schatzi, do you want ein poke?" Mares wot they loff to haff ein poke.
You should be doing this mit der bodyguard wot also be called handler. Becose other wise mares they come after you und they want to haff relationship und they want to marry you und they want you to buy them mannie things und share your karroten mit you. Und this it be wrong.
Any ways, wenn you ask her if she want ein poke, die mare she right a-way will sticken her tail up und say "JA, JA, JA, JA, JA!!!" Just like wenn Meg Ryan haff beed in der delicatessen on Wenn Harry Meeted Sally. Then it be time to giff her ein poke. You get behind her und jump on her sitzen und putt der spankmonkey in der virgina. Der spankmonkey it all ready know that you be doing this und it be stiffy. Die mare she haff dreams then von shopping und credit cards wot you pay der bill for.
Der spankmoney for like some time in between ten seconds und ein hour (mein wot it be ein hour), it work und then it start to tickle. It feel like toe part von your hoofes they curl und you scream "AY CARAMBA!!!" Your tail it whip up und down.
Then you haff organism, get off die mare, go home und go to sleep. Some times they want to haff cigarette aber der best thing to do is loff them und leave them.
Und then wenn you haff doed this, baby dust it haff comed out off your spankmonkey und it go to der baby horse eggs, und then ein few weeks later die mare she get verrie fat und then one morning she wake up und there be ein baby horse in her howse. This it means she haff folded.
Iffen you don't want to haff no baby, you haff poke in ein condominium. Und some times der chaperone they let you practice mounting wenn you use AI machine, wot it also be called Hoochie Bucket. Then they sell baby dust for mannie dollares und put der money in die karroten fund.
You all ways haff to say "please" und "danke schon." Becose it be verrie muy importante to be ein gentleman.
I think that Coreene's concise dictionary of COTH euphymisms should go into the favorites forum!
Maybe with links to the threads they started in. or would the be too comlicated? (they would be for me, but I'm working midnight shifts, so I have an excuse -finally- to be a bit brain-dead!!!)
LESS HARD WORK, MORE FINE DINING!™
complicate, obfuscate, prevaricate.
Ahhh ... those were the days, of innocence and play, good and happy times. How I miss them, and dear Herr Papa Willem.
I am learning many new things now, ... Dr. Tim is teaching me to go into circles and he makes me wear a very special THINGIE on my back. I think it's to hold my insides up because it is a LOT of work.
I miss my foalhood and all my BB friends--and I remember my my birthday will be soon and I will be a young Stallion ... and one day I will go for HOOCHIEBUCKETTRAINING! Whatever that is...but my Mom keeps threatening to 'cutthemoff' Mama Coreenie ... what does that mean? Will you ask Herr Papa Daddy the next time you have a vision?
I loff you Mama Coreenie, and Oncle Woody and Aunti Portia. I miss you lots.
:-( <----that is me making a sad face because I miss you.
The Porch was orginally invented on the old Equisearch bb, as were the pink pills, the rocking chair, and the wonders of baleing (baling?) twine and duct tape. They moved over here with the exodus when the old E-search boards exploded after a software/format change. They occasionally reemerge when old-E-searchers get together (such as the many-named one whose current incarnation is Onyx the Pony and me.) http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...icon_smile.gif
"I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?" Dave Barry
What the Fruitbat came along when one lady was going on and on and on... ETC about how rude someone had been ot her, and though she repeatedly used WTF in her rant, she spent much of the rant complaining that this woman kept swearing at her, and she would NEVER swear because she doesn't use that kind of language.
To which, inevitably, someone asked 'Well what do YOU think 'WTF' means then?'
And WingedPanda made that immortal response...
One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. - Virginia Woolf, A Room of One\'s Own
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by UltimatePiaffe:
Hootinannies can be anything from a stallion's nuts to extra brushes laying around to stupid people. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
So hootinannies is a noun, whereas Shoosh (my favourite word) is the everything verb! I get it now, you've made my life so much easier.
I was sitting on The Porch (1) with George Morris discussing whether it was worse to chip and peck or nump (2) and toled (3) to the stinking flounder (4) jump at Spruce Meadows. Suddenly, George started to swipe at his head in an aghasted (5) and attackative (6) way, shrieking in that revoled (7) way of his, "get Aunt Esther's purse (8), the fruitbats (9) have escaped from their hoochie bucket (10)!" I grabbed the nearest hoo hoo (11), thinking, 'le tit be (12)' a false alarm because George was quite allergic to fruitbats and left untreated often escalated into a full blown Inverness Problem (14), a potentially fatal gnome which was harder to cure than a beaver drilling (15) through peeps (15). I said a little pray, 'dear oh mein gott in himmel (16), I know they spank monkeys (17) in Virginia (18) with wedding tackles (19), but please, if you take the fruitbats away, I promise to never, ever, eat another baby (20).