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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 23, 2003
    Location
    itty bitty town, GA
    Posts
    3,004

    Default Old Farmer's Advice

    Got this in an email this afternoon and had to share:

    "Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong."

    "Keep skunks and bankers at a distance."

    "Life is simpler when you plow around the stump."

    "A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor."

    "Words that soak into your ears are whispered.....not yelled."

    "Meanness don't just happen overnight."

    "Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads."

    "Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you."

    "It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge."

    "You cannot unsay a cruel word."

    "Every path has a few puddles."

    "When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty."

    "The best sermons are lived, not preached."

    "Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway."

    "Don't judge folks by their relatives.

    "Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer."

    "Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older
    and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time."

    "Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none."

    "Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance."

    "If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'."

    "Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

    "The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with,
    watches you from the mirror every mornin'."

    "Always drink upstream from the herd."

    "Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment."

    "Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in."

    "If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."

    "Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God."

    "Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you."

    Susan N.

    Don't get confused between my personality & my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep. 7, 2011
    Location
    Cool, CA
    Posts
    42

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bludejavu View Post

    "Life is simpler when you plow around the stump."
    If only I'd learned that one 30 years ago...
    Matthew Kiwala
    Foothill Farriers
    (530) 870-4390



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 13, 1999
    Location
    Greensboro, NC
    Posts
    36,895

    Default

    Those are flippin' awesome!

    I at "Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads."

    I think I'll save these and make them my FB status every day - that oughta get some giggles!
    ______________________________
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances. - ET



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar. 28, 2002
    Location
    East of Dog River
    Posts
    6,028

    Default

    Those came from a daily calendar called Don't Squat With Your Spurs on. Was put out many years ago by, I believe, Leanin Tree. Maybe it is still in production.

    Just googled and it is now in book form and here are a few more for your reading pleasure: http://www.anvari.org/shortjoke/Joke...-you-none.html
    Founder of the Dyslexic Clique. Dyslexics of the world - UNTIE!!

    Member: Incredible Invisbles



  5. #5
    Join Date
    May. 21, 2009
    Location
    Apex, NC
    Posts
    688

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JB View Post
    Those are flippin' awesome!

    I at "Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads."

    I think I'll save these and make them my FB status every day - that oughta get some giggles!
    Oh shoot JB! I should have thought "every day".....I just posted in 2 posts---maybe I should go back and edit them? I like your idea much better



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov. 4, 2003
    Location
    Dallas, Georgia
    Posts
    17,020

    Default

    "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It won't do you any good and it'll only annoy the pig."
    <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug. 22, 2004
    Posts
    288

    Default

    "Life is simpler when you plow around the stump

    "Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads

    These have been very useful this week at work. The guy at work that likes to butt heads with me didn't know what to do when I was so nice to him. If it stops working, I'll just plow around him as he is most certainly a stump.

    Thanks!



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul. 23, 2003
    Location
    itty bitty town, GA
    Posts
    3,004

    Default

    LOL slantedhorse - I've known a few stumps as well in my life time. Fortunately I am stump-free at the moment.
    Susan N.

    Don't get confused between my personality & my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Out for Lent
    Posts
    34,571

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ChocoMare View Post
    "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It won't do you any good and it'll only annoy the pig."

    LOL, somebody had that as signature line a long time ago!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.
    GNU Terry Prachett



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