Where to begin... This is a touchy situation
(as it is a horse industry job) I will try to omit as many details as possible while still making the story clear.
You get your first real professional job. Its going well.
It lasts 3 months. Why?
Well, you really can't tell anyone, because you do not want to be responsible for the possible absolute ruin of this persons business. You really like to stay out drama and quit because the situations you were being put in were ridiculous (NOT NORMAL WORK OR HORSE INDUSTRY POSITIONS).
Now, how do you go about finding a new job? You're ex-boss is telling peers within the industry that you were fired. You were not a good fit for the program. When that is simply NOT the truth. You do NOT want to cause problems. You like being a CLASSY person.
However it's hard to explain to new potential employers why you quit (after only 3 months at your first paid position)... without to many details. Also, when everyone is asking why you got fired trying not to be absolutely furious and tell everyone the truth! I'm sick of say "I didn't get fired; sometimes things just don't work out!" With a smile on my face. Cause I'm NOT smiling.
Not to mention i'm out for 4 weeks due to an accident that happened the last day of work and my cat died. My house is a mess and I can't clean it because i'm non-weight bearing.
I guess you could PM me if you want to know what the issue was... but it was major.
You're ex-boss is telling peers within the industry that you were fired. You were not a good fit for the program. When that is simply NOT the truth. You do NOT want to cause problems. You like being a CLASSY person.
Come on, now. In this situation, you have to choose. You can be a "classy" person to only 1 party - either your old boss or anyone who asks. Lying to friends, family, colleagues and potential new employers isn't classy. I sympathize that you've over-thought yourself into this position, but it's a non-problem. Tell the truth, in as simple a form as humanly possible - ie, not "He fired me because I saw him selling illegal immigrants to slave traders in the stallion barn one night - and I stumbled onto his cache of snuff porn in the equipment shed." Just keep it simple - Why did you leave your last job? The position just wasn't a good fit." If they want more detail, keep it simple again - the position was presented as being a groom type job, but it became apparent that I was also supposed to help cut and stack the cocaine.
Hollywood, but not the one where they have the Oscars!
Been there done that....thankfully I didn't take the job ( I am old enough to see the red flags pretty quickly) but it took a while before i could really put myself out there again because I didnt want to explain why I didnt take the job!
I would take the high road, and keep saying it wasn't a good fit, and then you can say it was a mutual agreement instead of arguing that you weren't fired.
"You can't really debate with someone who has a prescient invisible friend"
I'm employed by someone who knows everyone and I am looking for a new job. When I talk to people who know her, I stick to "I am looking to broaden my horizons". Most people read between the lines and go no further. People tend to know the crazy, crooked,out there.... people. My boss is not at all dishonest, but well known for being a personal trainwreck. People "get it". One man called me a saint.
You really are better off staying above the drama and gossip in a small industry. No one wants to hire someone who airs dirty laundry. If it was that bad, people know about it.
"No matter what you do, sometimes things are not the right fit and I'd prefer to keep discreet about the details. I understand that this may be a red flag for you, but I'd be happy to provide you with references that can speak to my qualifications and work ethic to ease any concerns."
Well, you don't have to bring it up if they don't. That said, you might say a lot without saying anything at all. Like, "Just to clarify, I won't be required to paint horses different colors and falsify coggins tests, will I?" Or, "I won't be required to dress up like a school girl for the older male clients here, will I?"
And of course you can always answer the question of why did you leave by saying, "Well, it may have been a toss up as to which of us wanted me gone the most!" This, said lightly, but only after a long pained expression of indecision and an obvious biting of your tongue.
Look, I know it isn't easy to put yourself back out there, but just go for it. Offer a two week trial were either of you can say it's just not working - no harm, no foul. But don't let one bad experience put you off if this is really what you want to do.
The above post is an opinion, just an opinion. If it were a real live fact it would include supporting links to websites full of people who already agreed with me.
Thanks for the advice. It's just a very awkward situation.
Apparently this person has a past history of doing what they did.
I was not FULLY aware of the circumstances of what I was getting into.
I really haven't told anyone who isn't VERY close to me and VERY trustworthy,
People really have made their own speculations of what happened.
It's definitely a story I omitted from telling my grandma when she called me to ask about the horses today.
Unfortunately (or fortunately?) the "incident" (that's what we'll call it) happened at a show and is therefore widely publicized AND widely gossiped about. People come up to me with the weirdest stories of what they think happened. And I just smile and say, "Not quite, sometimes things just don't work out."
If this "incident" happened at a show and is widely known about, I don't see how answering honestly would make you responsible for your ex-employers ruin. Clearly people already know and he's not ruined yet; he won't be ruined by you being honest either. That's just the way things are.
But if you absolutely don't want to, why not use your injury as a reason? It's too bad it happened, but since it did happen...the timing is pretty convenient to job-ending.