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  1. #1
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    Oct. 4, 2008
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    Default Dues??

    We all have to pay them, they are what make us great, but what are they? When someone says..."so and so has to pay thierbdues what are they? When Do you think you have a good chunk paid, cause I suspect we pay them for life, but any ideas?

    For us, what I feel are contributing:
    Making every one of our horses from scratch, or rejects. Including many client horses few years back.

    Hauling out of a forty year old trailer...and we wont even begin to go into the trip with broken axel, three flats, and truck flat. Ugh!

    Sleeping in tents most of the time.

    She's been own groom, mucked, vet, trainer at minimum 98 % of the time.

    Paid for most events by braiding all night.

    Missing events because of horse tragedies, family tragedies, and well, you get the idea.

    And another thought, after we pay our dues, then what? Grin, please tell me some fairy comes along, waves the wand, we get an air-conditioned tent, and a part time groom? Stuck till car gets fixed...so bored, and ......well did I mention bored?



  2. #2
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    Nov. 16, 2000
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    Concord, NH
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    Default

    I'm not sure you are ever done paying dues. Because if you do all that and then stop and have people run everything for you, you can be accused of sitting on your laurels. You work hard until you retire. If you become successful, that's a bonus.


    And that doesn't just apply to horses. Those of us who work at desk jobs face the same sorts of challenges. If you don't show up every day ready to be better than yesterday, your co-workers will think you're slacking and your boss will have no reason to give you a promotion and raise.

    What your daughter is doing now is what I observed many pros doing 20 years ago when I made the decision to go to college and sell the horse. I saw super talented people living in tack rooms with no heat (in New Hampshire) and knew I wasn't half the rider they were and I'd better get myself a good job and ride as a hobby.

    (that rider is now a success but never made an Olympic team (not sure if there was ever a red coat awarded but has made a good career as an eventer).

    .



  3. #3
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    Default

    Hilary, great info, gotta agree. You guys batten down for hurricane?

    I figure dues are forever too, but just the other day someone was telling me a story of a girl, who paid her dues, and got this amazing horse to ride, with all paid for. It got me to thinking...what are these infamous dues? Then I asked her, and she said, her mom didn't buy her a horse.....so gave her one of mine to work with.


    I figured be good topic see what the dues are so eloquently spoke of!



  4. #4
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    Mar. 28, 2011
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    Default

    I agree with Hilary. I don't think one can ever be done paying dues. So many people in the present day have such a sense of entitlement, and they need to look at all the people that came before them that worked their asses off. My old trainer (who rides on the Canadian team) as a kid would ride with the shippers to save money while shipping to events (his parents couldn't afford a trailer). He always slept in a tent, and even slept in a tent for a few winters in FL as he was too broke and wanted his horses to come first. So many up and comers as well as professionals need to take a look at people in the past who have worked their way up. They've worked hard and are now enjoying the fruits of success.



  5. #5
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    Default

    Yup true, and there are kids out there who are working thier butts off....but unfortunately the kids nowadays are all lumped into one huge group, those feeling entitled. The kids who work for it, or sacrifice get tossed out in the bathwater, being lumped in. Anyone watching the herd sell in NM.



  6. #6
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    Concord, NH
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    Default

    I have to add that working your ass off does not equate having things handed to you for that effort. You may still have to buy your horse, or pay for your entry but what you won't have is someone saying "eh, she bought her way to the top". That may actually be it. You work hard, hopefully someone says "yup, you worked for that" and THAT is the reward. Not a free horse or a red coat or a cushy corner office. It's respect if you ever actually get to the top of whatever mountain you are climbing or that you tried hard but failed.

    It really isn't all that much but people value it nonetheless. People also value diamonds over water.

    As for hurricanes, it's just cloudy up here!



  7. #7
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    Feb. 4, 2004
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    Default

    ^ That's the rub with dues. Plenty of people pay their dues, arguably more than their share, and still aren't rewarded with success. Not just in riding, but everywhere. Life can be really unfair.



  8. #8
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    Hillary, you could add gold to that water thing. My husband thinks the next world war will be over water.

    I agree sometimes life just doesn't deal fair. I could have been a great rider, maybe, but stubby legs dee...ain't happening.

    Well, so good, ok great news. Nope, that fairy did not invent air-conditioning for tents, but we did win one of he Horses Unlimited two-year olds...my daughter didnt know I was bidding, and when I valledupar to tell her, she was crying cause he had gone for less then we had budgeted.....and when I told her we HAD bid and won, she sobbed harder....go figure. But super excited!



  9. #9
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    Default

    The idea that if we just "pay our dues" then something good will happen is insidious and pernicious. It implies that the person doing the paying feels entitled to get something in return. Everyone has to pay something in life, and really awful things happen sometimes, just like really wonderful things. It has precious little to do with paying "dues" sometimes. There is no guaranteed return on hard work and sacrifice.

    We make our own luck, and we shape our own future. Those who are happiest are those who have shaped a multi-faceted future that can be attained, rather than pinning every chance of happiness on one specific thing.

    For every moment we spend "paying our dues" we should rather be "counting our blessings".
    Click here before you buy.



  10. #10
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    Feb. 9, 2009
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    Default

    Congrats, which 2 year old was it? They had quite a few nice horses. It sounds like your daughter is very lucky to receive such great support from you and that she is working hard to utilize it. As a struggling young professional myself, I can empathize, and I must say I wish my parents would at least show a little moral support, although I recognize they owe me nothing.
    It is hard to see your peers receive made horses and paid show entries, this is not something that gets easier over time. I just remind myself of the bits of luck I have had- I had a horse capable of taking me to 2 stars, I was able to produce and sell a young horse that could pay for my trip to Holland, where I was able to work at reputable breeding farm and at Tim Lips stable. Now that I´m back, I´ve been able to acquire 3 very nice OTTBs for $500 total! Yes it is hard, and its very hard for me to think that it will soon be a year since I have competed in a recognized horse trial, and that until I sell a horse I have no hope of competing in one. This is especially frustrating since all of my horses are so ready, and if I had the proper funding, they could probably complete a Prelim by the end of next spring. But the fact is, I don´t have the funding, so for now I just concentrate on producing the best horse I can while training at home, and enjoy the incredible progress they are all making.



  11. #11
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    I agree Lynn....entirely. I think that is what bothers me the most.....that when people say, "she paid her dues", they make it sound like that person should be rewarded for...fill in the blank.

    Lie best, I wish your parents would offer you moral support too! My daughter tells me frequently how much she appreciates me being there. If I ever win the lottery, will look you up. I wish we had a way ton subsidize up and coming riders. If I win that lottery, yup on my bucket list, maybe I can set up something. I love giving....it has such nice rewards.

    We bought Gun Shy. She fell for him, and they had an instant raport. He is now officially he most expensive horse I have bought.



  12. #12
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    Sep. 18, 2004
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    Default I think I love you!

    Quote Originally Posted by deltawave View Post
    The idea that if we just "pay our dues" then something good will happen is insidious and pernicious. It implies that the person doing the paying feels entitled to get something in return. Everyone has to pay something in life, and really awful things happen sometimes, just like really wonderful things. It has precious little to do with paying "dues" sometimes. There is no guaranteed return on hard work and sacrifice.

    We make our own luck, and we shape our own future. Those who are happiest are those who have shaped a multi-faceted future that can be attained, rather than pinning every chance of happiness on one specific thing.

    For every moment we spend "paying our dues" we should rather be "counting our blessings".
    I couldn't say this better.

    Dues implies hardship and pain. Life is a journey... do the best that you can with the what you have, believe that you can make dreams come true and they will... they do. Like Deltawave said..


    "We make our own luck, and we shape our own future. Those who are happiest are those who have shaped a multi-faceted future that can be attained, rather than pinning every chance of happiness on one specific thing.

    For every moment we spend "paying our dues" we should rather be "counting our blessings""



  13. #13
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    Default

    And just one other thing, I do believe we have a lot of say in our lives, but I don't always believe we make our own luck, or rather our bad. Having lived thru two house fires, and a few other insidious events, I know I did not make those happen. Just as I know the child being beaten, did nothing to deserve it. So, to make it sound like we make luck, be it good or bad seems rather....narrow minded. I also believe really good people, who work very hard, sometimes don't get the breaks. Just saying. Overall, I consider my life to be decent. There are aspects I don't like, and I really think I have a black cloud that follows me. But I think I am a grateful person, and see the good!



  14. #14
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    Dec. 2, 2009
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    Default

    I think there are plenty of people out there who started "paying their dues" decades ago and are still paying their dues. I had a lot of knocks in my riding life, instructors who hated me and couldn't be bothered 'teaching' me anything. I had to learn by myself. I re-schooled my first pony, but never went anywhere with her as I'd no backing from my family.

    I have a new horse now who I'm hoping to go Eventing with, but my life suddenly became incompatible with the idea, so I'm having to sit things out for the foreseeable future.

    All right maybe I've gotten ideas above my station and I wouldn't stand a chance, but I can't stop hoping every time I buy a lottery ticket that I'll win enough to set me up in a equestrian style I need to school and train and compete my horse...
    Where in this wide world can man find nobility without pride, friendship without envy, or beauty without vanity? - The horse. (R.Duncan)



  15. #15
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    [QUOTE=Galadriël Fëfalas;5805374

    All right maybe I've gotten ideas above my station and I wouldn't stand a chance, but I can't stop hoping every time I buy a lottery ticket that I'll win enough to set me up in a equestrian style I need to school and train and compete my horse...[/QUOTE]

    I think a few of us should go in together on some lotto tickets next time mega millions is at 200m plus!!!!!



  16. #16
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    Sep. 18, 2004
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gold2012 View Post
    And just one other thing, I do believe we have a lot of say in our lives, but I don't always believe we make our own luck, or rather our bad. Having lived thru two house fires, and a few other insidious events, I know I did not make those happen. Just as I know the child being beaten, did nothing to deserve it. So, to make it sound like we make luck, be it good or bad seems rather....narrow minded. I also believe really good people, who work very hard, sometimes don't get the breaks. Just saying. Overall, I consider my life to be decent. There are aspects I don't like, and I really think I have a black cloud that follows me. But I think I am a grateful person, and see the good!
    You're right, no one necessarily causes bad things to happen. I believe in its how you look at it. (Again, food for thought, this is not about you.) If a person believes that they have bad luck then they only reflect the bad luck.

    I can give you a list of really god awful things that happened to me in 2004-2005, including, deaths, my own cancer, big life changing losses. Never did I once think about it as bad luck... life happens. What I did was balance out the tough stuff by looking at what good was imbedded in it... the people that helped me cope, the job that offered kindness... etc.

    In the horse world, I believe that there are steps in the ladder that folks take to get to where they are. That there is no pre-determined list of "dues" that must be paid in order to move through the steps.

    I love the line...Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to continue despite it.

    There are gifted folks that run fast up the ladder... there are some that jump over a few... they might come back to rework the ladder cause they missed a key step. And there are those of us that run up and down all the time for whatever reason.

    Eventing is the great equalizer. Many a story is told about the horse and/or out of a lot (Neville Bardos for one), that made it to the top. It can be done IF you believe it can happen.

    {Don't get me started on putting Equitation into the Eventing world... I think that will hurt what I have grown to love... the equality.}



  17. #17
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    Default

    The "I just need a winning lottery ticket" is also a very negative and soul-sucking way of looking at things. Fun to fantasize about on long drives, but the dollar is better off kept in our pockets. Forget about luck, forget about magic, forget about fate or destiny or black clouds. Set goals that are reality-based, be prepared to modify them as you go along, and if you find yourself in a bad situation (I'm talking about adults here, not children who have little choice) then GET OUT of it. Hanging around a bad, negative or going-nowhere situation out of fear or inertia is one of the worst things a person can do. And IME there is ALWAYS a choice, an option, although it may mean modifying our fantasies of what life "should" be.
    Click here before you buy.



  18. #18
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    You know, food for thought, you guys are all amazing btw, but ya know a cool colum for EN? Advice from DElta wave! Wouldn't that be fun, she could do it in all that spare time!!

    Well, we all have good and bad, and hey I can fantasize about that lottery ticket!!! I gotta say....it's fun on a bb to fantasize too!!

    Anyway was just a question. Hey Lynn, go Steelers!,,,



  19. #19
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    Default

    Well, most of my family lives too far away to hear my mouth running all the time. My advice and opinions are precisely as valuable as all of those lottery tickets that didn't pay off. Also beware of anything I post before about 8am during the week and noon on weekends. My brain works MUCH better after the first Diet Dr. Pepper.

    I *hugely* enjoyed watching the Steelers demolish the stinking Eagles last week . . .
    Click here before you buy.



  20. #20
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    Go steelers, and Diet Mt. Dew! Can't live without either!



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