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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug. 11, 2005
    Posts
    57

    Default

    Hi,

    First of all, let me say, this is an alter for obvious reasons, but i am NOT a troll, and I do post here all the time.

    I'm 22 and just graduated college. I am starting my own lesson, boarding, training business.

    I am a lesbian and I am proud of who I am, and also very proud to be with my partner. The trainer I work for now, riding horses and teaching lessons, is very homophobic, so I am not out to her, but I hate keeping who I am a secret.

    My worry is, if parents find out I am a lesbian, as Im sure they will, especially the way things go in the horse world, do you think they will look at me differently or be afraid to leave their children with me?

    I am very competent with a good resume, but Im afraid this might drive people away...especially after the way my parents reacted when i told them, basically disowning me...but that's another story.

    Any insight into this would be great. Thank you, and please, let's try to keep this thread from turning into a gay bashing...



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug. 11, 2005
    Posts
    57

    Default

    Hi,

    First of all, let me say, this is an alter for obvious reasons, but i am NOT a troll, and I do post here all the time.

    I'm 22 and just graduated college. I am starting my own lesson, boarding, training business.

    I am a lesbian and I am proud of who I am, and also very proud to be with my partner. The trainer I work for now, riding horses and teaching lessons, is very homophobic, so I am not out to her, but I hate keeping who I am a secret.

    My worry is, if parents find out I am a lesbian, as Im sure they will, especially the way things go in the horse world, do you think they will look at me differently or be afraid to leave their children with me?

    I am very competent with a good resume, but Im afraid this might drive people away...especially after the way my parents reacted when i told them, basically disowning me...but that's another story.

    Any insight into this would be great. Thank you, and please, let's try to keep this thread from turning into a gay bashing...



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr. 14, 2001
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    16,573

    Default

    I sure as hell wouldn't care.

    I'd see it as a learning experience for a kid. As in: "people can be different than what you expect, and it's okay!" http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...on_biggrin.gif

    I can't wait to see the other responses in this thread.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 11, 2005
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,840

    Default

    I wouldn't think twice about it. A good person is a good person, regardless of their sexual orientation.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug. 5, 2005
    Location
    Central, FL
    Posts
    467

    Default

    Hard to say..I don't have kids http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...icon_smile.gif

    But for me I won't ride or board at a local stables because the owner and trainer there are known to be gay and they hit on other non-gay people. That is an uncomfortable situation. No I wouldn't let my kids ride there either.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun. 21, 2003
    Location
    Still in Texas. . .
    Posts
    1,822

    Default

    It would make no difference to me. Geesh, look at how many gay male riders we have in our sport. If everyone refused to work with them due to their orientation we'd be out some great trainers. Then again I may be biased by my flamingly out brother. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...on_biggrin.gif
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    *Phenix* 1990 Trakehner Mare
    *Vanderbilt* 2001 OTTB Gelding



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2005
    Posts
    625

    Default

    My daughters have taken lessons with a gay trainer. The trainer came out about a year ago and I don't think it affected her business noticably. My daughters don't take regular lessons as they are young and the horse thing isn't really that interesting to them but when they do ask, I've always hired the same woman because she is great with kids and keeps their confidence up.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2005
    Location
    South Pacific
    Posts
    1,084

    Default

    First off, congratulations for outing yourself. I would absolutely let my kids (if I had any) train with a gay trainer. Talent crops up irrespective of sexuality - also I would like to think in this day and age we might be a little more enlighted than to think 'oh dear, that trainer's gay, if I let my kids train with them they'll become gay too' or whatever people use as an excuse(putting my flame suit on now kids). Come to think of it, my mother had lessons with at least two gay (male) trainers when I was a kid and my brother and I ran around their places happy as clams.
    Chief Irrelevant Poster and member of the Broken Leg Brigade.

    I wouldn't event at all, but it feels SO GOOD when you complete in one piece...



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug. 11, 2005
    Posts
    57

    Default

    Thank you guys for such quick responses. I am feeling somewhat relieved.

    The owner of the barn that I am working at made it clear that while she has NO problems with gay male trainers or riders, it's a completely different thing to be a lesbian, which is gross and disgusting. That's why i wasnt sure if other people would have that same thought.

    I have been with my partner for almost a year now, we are very happy, and hitting on anyone is out of the question http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c.../icon_wink.gif

    Thanks again!

    Thanks eventable: it was a long hard process, my parents and I *were* very close and it's been very hard not having them there...but maybe with time, my dad will come around. My mom already told me Im going to he!! and she prays for my soul every night and she will never accept me.

    Having my horses not judge me and always be there for me has really helped a lot.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec. 3, 2002
    Location
    stuck between the DQs and Hunter Hell
    Posts
    3,196

    Default

    I don't have kids, but it wouldn't make any difference to me. They have to learn that there are people in the world who are unlike them in all sorts of ways. They also have to learn how to interact with them. Whether or not a kid "hero-worships" a trainer is not going to affect their own sexual orientation, it just might give them a more broad view of the world.

    One sad thing I find is that ignorant people equate being gay with being a pedophile.
    Founder of the Olde Farte Clique



  11. #11
    Join Date
    May. 30, 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    421

    Default

    Don't have children, but...

    I, along with many younger (6yo+, I am 20) people took lessons from a gay trainer. He ended up being one of my best friends, and the favorite of the 3 trainers that were working at the barn. Him being the only homosexual.

    If I ever have children (although, I am with the shoes on the cat thing http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c.../icon_wink.gif) I wouldn't think twice of it.

    *Unless, that person acted inappropriate, as in hitting on boarders/lessonees, showing to much affection to your significant other in front of children. But, this goes for ANY trainer, be they straight or otherwise.

    Good Luck, and I think it is great that you are proud to be who you are!!!
    If you really think about it, what can you blame on a horse?



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2005
    Location
    South Pacific
    Posts
    1,084

    Default

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">The owner of the barn that I am working at made it clear that while she has NO problems with gay male trainers or riders, it's a completely different thing to be a lesbian, which is gross and disgusting. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Your life, not hers, her problem, not yours http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...on_biggrin.gif

    I know a whole lot of sword-wielding lesbians from my fencing days - want I should send them over?
    Chief Irrelevant Poster and member of the Broken Leg Brigade.

    I wouldn't event at all, but it feels SO GOOD when you complete in one piece...



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug. 11, 2005
    Posts
    57

    Default

    haha thanks eventable

    shes away at some horse show for a few weeks, Ill let you know when she gets back http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c.../icon_wink.gif

    Ill be very happy when the trainer I work with gets her barn all done and we can move away from this barn owner

    And I really cant wait until I have enough clients where I dont have to teach any where but my place!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...on_biggrin.gif



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2003
    Posts
    82

    Default

    I do not care if my trainer is gay or straight and would have no problem having my daughter ride with a gay trainer. What I would have a problem with is someone feeling the need to "come out" to me or my daughter just to set the record straight or get it off his/her chest. One's sexuality need never be announced/declared in a business setting. It's just not relevant to the profession. Just live your life in a way that makes sense to you without pretending or hiding anything but save the big coming out speech for relatives.

    You will lose plenty of clients for all sorts of reasons over the years - being a lesbian may spook a few but in the end, do you really want to live your life in a way that makes those few people more comfortable or in a way that makes you comfortable?



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    Location
    El Paso, TX
    Posts
    12,607

    Default

    I don'[t have kids, but it wouldn't matter to me. The only thing that would cause me to leave the barn (or pull kids out if I had any), would be PDA during business hrs. I don't think it would be professional whether it was opposite sex PDA or same sex PDA. If you aren't groping each other, around the barn, then your sex life is a non issue.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Aug. 11, 2005
    Posts
    57

    Default

    Michigander: I understand what you are saying. I will not just proclaim to everyone that Im gay, but if it comes up, I dont want to deny it either.

    Jetsmom: I agree with the PDA of any sex. If my partner was to come down to the barn, there would be no public displays of affection. I would never want anyone to feel uncomfortable.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Feb. 17, 2000
    Location
    Berlin, CT
    Posts
    4,018

    Default

    I have absolutely no problem with it at all and would not hesitate to have my child take lessons from someone who is gay.

    It is a shame that there are still so many narrow minded people out there in this world.
    "You are under arrest for operating your mouth under the influence of
    ignorance!" Officer Beck



  18. #18
    Join Date
    May. 9, 2005
    Location
    Chattanooga, Tennessee
    Posts
    3,565

    Default

    i dont have kids, and i'm just about your age. Most of my friends are either gay or lesbian, and it doesnt bother me in the least. The only time i was ever uncomfortable was when I was hit on by a lesbian i didnt know, i informed her i wasnt, and now shes a great friend. What does it matter? You are you, and if anyone has a problem with that then they need to look more at themselves not at you!

    I think its really brave of you to have come out and not deny it. Good luck in all your dealings and I know you'll do well.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Aug. 11, 2005
    Posts
    57

    Default

    wow guys thanks for being so great. If only everyone was so open minded.

    I will keep these and read them when the rough times come, as Im sure they will. Even with my parents if nothing else...the first time I told them, they told me they were selling all of my horses because I didnt deserve to be happy...just to give a hint of what I have been going through...

    to hear these good things makes me smile...thank you



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2005
    Location
    South Pacific
    Posts
    1,084

    Default

    Jeeze that's rough and I'm sad to hear it. I've got a friend who is now slowly coming out but hasn't told his parents (he's terrified of what they'll say). I'm sorry about your parents and I know it's hard for you. In terms of everyone else - how people respond to someone (especially someone different) is more a reflection of their own insecurities and issues than anything to do with that person.
    Chief Irrelevant Poster and member of the Broken Leg Brigade.

    I wouldn't event at all, but it feels SO GOOD when you complete in one piece...



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