The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 45
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2010
    Posts
    24

    Default Teenage parents doing drugs - baby in house?

    I am in SC. Teenage parents have just moved in together and are smoking pot with the baby in the house.

    Does anyone know what will happen to the baby if the police are called? I am assuming the baby would be taken by DSS ... and then what?

    I have been told that if there is a willing relative to take the baby, then the baby can be placed with the relative.

    Does anyone know for sure what might happen?

    I am actually the relative that would take the baby ... and I am also the one who will be calling the police.

    Thanks in advance.

    Alterhelp



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 1, 2003
    Location
    Happily in Canada
    Posts
    4,825

    Default

    You might want to speak to a lawyer on this before taking any action. If you try speaking with the police or a social worker they do not have to keep the conversation confidential, and may take action.

    In my jurisdiction, the "best interests of the child" are a prime consideration in what happens.
    Blugal

    You never know what kind of obsessive compulsive crazy person you are until another person imitates your behaviour at a three-day. --Gry2Yng



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul. 14, 2000
    Location
    midwest
    Posts
    10,272

    Default

    Call the police. They will take action with DSS to get the child in protective custody and hopefully help for the "parents" of the child.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep. 4, 2006
    Location
    Somewhere in the Southwest
    Posts
    1,233

    Default

    Um....mind your own business?



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb. 22, 2007
    Posts
    3,928

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dressurpferd01 View Post
    Um....mind your own business?
    But what if they get "The Munchies" and decide to eat the baby?



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct. 3, 2007
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    5,046

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CosMonster View Post
    But what if they get "The Munchies" and decide to eat the baby?



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct. 12, 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    254

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dressurpferd01 View Post
    Um....mind your own business?
    Gosh, I wholeheartedly agree.

    Calling the police and involving DSS for marijuana seems extremely right wing and a whole lot of drama for the child if you butt in like that.

    How about talking to the teens, showing you care, and helping them out so they can raise their OWN child in a healthy and well adjusted manner.
    Member OMGiH I loff my mares clique!!!



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2010
    Posts
    24

    Default

    Mind my own business????? Really?????

    The baby is my grandchild. Even if he was not my grandchild, do you really think I should look the other way????? He is only 5 months old.

    As for jokes about "the munchies" .... maybe I have no sense of humor, but I don't find this situation funny at all.

    It is heartbreaking.

    AlterHelp.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 2, 2002
    Location
    Berlin, Germany
    Posts
    2,537

    Default

    What do you think is going to happen to the baby as a result of the marijuana use? Are the teens drinking?

    If you call the police, then step up to take the baby, that's going to look mighty fishy to pretty much everyone else involved...
    Here today, gone tomorrow...



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 16, 2009
    Location
    Near the cupcake shop
    Posts
    2,146

    Default

    OMG, do you live next to Janelle from Teen Mom?!?!?



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct. 12, 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    254

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AliCat View Post
    OMG, do you live next to Janelle from Teen Mom?!?!?
    Member OMGiH I loff my mares clique!!!



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 4, 2006
    Location
    Somewhere in the Southwest
    Posts
    1,233

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CosMonster View Post
    But what if they get "The Munchies" and decide to eat the baby?
    EPIC lulz!


    Quote Originally Posted by honeychile View Post
    Gosh, I wholeheartedly agree.

    Calling the police and involving DSS for marijuana seems extremely right wing and a whole lot of drama for the child if you butt in like that.

    How about talking to the teens, showing you care, and helping them out so they can raise their OWN child in a healthy and well adjusted manner.
    Why the right wing hate? I'm a conservative...ok, I lean more libertarian, but still.


    Quote Originally Posted by FrenchFrytheEqHorse View Post
    What do you think is going to happen to the baby as a result of the marijuana use? Are the teens drinking?

    If you call the police, then step up to take the baby, that's going to look mighty fishy to pretty much everyone else involved...
    This most of all. Granted, some people who smoke up are really irresponsible and lazy, but I'd rather have pot smokers near by than drunks.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 3, 2007
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    5,046

    Default

    Well, how much pot are they smoking? Are they so stoned all the time that they can't care for the baby or are they smoking a little after baby goes to bed much like other parents enjoy some wine?

    Yes, pot is illegal but it also isn't that uncommon. Ask yourself if you would be this concerned if they were having a drink or two a few nights a week.

    If they are getting high all the time then yes you have a reason to be concerned. But I don't think calling social services is the way to go. Have you tried talking to them? If they are teenagers maybe they need to get out once a week and blow off some steam, could you offer to babysit? That would give them time off and give you a chance to see how the baby is doing.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec. 30, 2009
    Location
    The Great Plains of Canada
    Posts
    3,062

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lcw579 View Post
    Well, how much pot are they smoking? Are they so stoned all the time that they can't care for the baby or are they smoking a little after baby goes to bed much like other parents enjoy some wine?

    Yes, pot is illegal but it also isn't that uncommon. Ask yourself if you would be this concerned if they were having a drink or two a few nights a week.

    If they are getting high all the time then yes you have a reason to be concerned. But I don't think calling social services is the way to go. Have you tried talking to them? If they are teenagers maybe they need to get out once a week and blow off some steam, could you offer to babysit? That would give them time off and give you a chance to see how the baby is doing.
    This

    Basically, are the baby's needs being neglected? Not, do you THINK the baby's needs are being neglected, ARE they being neglected, is there EVIDENCE of neglect?

    Some individuals handle and use pot differently; use does not equal abuse, same as with alcohol. Now I certainly don't advocate for parents smoking in the presence of a child or baby or while the baby is awake, but smoking a little after the child or baby is put to bed... *shrug*

    If all the baby's needs are being met and the parents are using the pot in a 'responsible' manner as lcw describes, I have to side with the group that says to mind your own business. If the baby is being neglected, then you have a valid point; but I would first talk to the parents and try to (gently) offer guidance.

    Careful in your approach. Contacting police and taking custody yourself is going to look suspicious, imo, like you had an ulterior motive. It will also alienate the parents. And is it really in the best interests of the child for it to be removed? You're the grandmother but you certainly cannot replace the role of the child's parent. If the child is not truly at risk (read: not perceived risk) I think you should offer guidance and support but otherwise leave the child in his/her parents' care.
    ....horses should be trained in such a way that they not only love their riders, but look forward to the time they are with them.
    ~ Xenophon, 350 B.C.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Apr. 22, 2011
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    575

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lcw579 View Post
    Well, how much pot are they smoking? Are they so stoned all the time that they can't care for the baby or are they smoking a little after baby goes to bed much like other parents enjoy some wine?

    Yes, pot is illegal but it also isn't that uncommon. Ask yourself if you would be this concerned if they were having a drink or two a few nights a week.

    If they are getting high all the time then yes you have a reason to be concerned. But I don't think calling social services is the way to go. Have you tried talking to them? If they are teenagers maybe they need to get out once a week and blow off some steam, could you offer to babysit? That would give them time off and give you a chance to see how the baby is doing.
    I'm with this one too.

    But that's not what you asked. From what I've seen, there isn't really a guarantee the baby will end up with you, the parents are going to be in the sort of trouble that can interfere with doing normal adult things like having a job (and thus supporting themselves/child) and the kid is in for a lifetime of family drama.

    Similar things have happened in my family, and all I can say is, it's ugly, nobody ever forgets it happened, and forgiveness is long down the road if it ever comes. Make sure the situation is REALLY bad - as in, child in danger or neglected - before you get authorities involved.
    If the pony spits venom in your face or produces a loud roar, it is probably not a pony. Find another. -The Oatmeal



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Aug. 17, 2004
    Location
    Rixeyville, VA
    Posts
    6,521

    Default

    Agree with SM. Getting CPS involved is the nuclear option. You don't want to take it unless it is absolutely necessary. There are many outcomes possible, including the parents retaining custody and cutting off contact with the OP.

    Why not offer to babysit more or do things with the baby, so you can keep an eye on what is happening? I don't think anyone is telling the OP not to care, but just be cautious at how you react.
    Where Norwegian Fjords Rule
    http://www.ironwood-farm.com



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2008
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    794

    Default

    I think you should mind your own business. I happen to know four little girls, all grown up now, whose mom smoked daily all their lives. They were brought up to be honest respecting kids with a whole lot of concern for others. They all have good jobs now except for hte one still in college. The 'evil smoking parent' is the ONLY one who is allowed to have the grandkids overnight. Yes, that's right, she still smokes daily, matter of fact, that is now supported with a medical marijuana card as it greatly helps her pain.

    I would be much more concerned with them using alcohol. The smoking parent had to leave the little girls father because of his alcohol use resulting in him holding a loaded gun to the mothers head. I have NEVER heard of anyone smoking a bit of pot doing anything dangerous. It is alcohol that tears apart families and kills innocent ppl. How many ppl fall asleep drunk every yr with their infant in bed and wake up to find they have smothered the poor little baby. It has never happened with smoking pot. You never hear of someone smoking pot and killing someone on the road do you? I guess if someone dropped their joint and was stupid enough to try to pick it up while driving it could happen, but not from the drug itself. EVen LEAP, http://www.leap.cc/, if for getting rid of laws against pot. Leap stands for - Law Enforecement Against Prohibition. Thats right, the cops.

    And this mom has smoked for 40 yrs now, yup, 40 damn yrs. Still has a good head on her shoulder, is admired by all who know her. Well respected by her vets and farriers, who many of also indulge in the plant.

    I think you should forget about the pot and quietly keep your eyes and ears open to see what else is going on. I find that MOST teens are NOT only using pot. I would be more concerned with what you may NOT know, than the pot you know about for sure. I would be very worried for the baby if other drugs were involved, especially with teen parents, who are very likely still in teh experimenting stage of life. You can't experimentally raise a child.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2008
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    794

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IronwoodFarm View Post
    Agree with SM. Getting CPS involved is the nuclear option. You don't want to take it unless it is absolutely necessary. There are many outcomes possible, including the parents retaining custody and cutting off contact with the OP.
    I can't even tell you how many times I have seen exactly this happen. gramma find the kids are smoking pot and calls the cops. They come to find a well kept home and fine, healthy kids being well taken care of. The child is NOT taken, what is taken away, is the benefit of that child having grandparents.

    Once this happens no parent is going to welcome the grandparent who caused all the ruckus. Then who is there to lookout in case there is actually something worthy of notification going on. I can't even think of a case where the kids were taken away JUST because of pot use. Not very likely unless the children are suffering for it and pot is just not that kind of drug. Marijuana use often makes for a more harmonious atmosphere as it eases the tensions of life without chemical effect like is present with so many who use/abuse benzodiazepines to calm themselves.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jan. 23, 2006
    Location
    Constant State of Delusion
    Posts
    1,737

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by WaningMoon View Post
    Marijuana use often makes for a more harmonious atmosphere as it eases the tensions of life without chemical effect like is present with so many who use/abuse benzodiazepines to calm themselves.
    what's wrong with using benzodiazepenes to manage anxiety?
    Quote Originally Posted by Martha Drum View Post
    ...But I don't want to sit helmetless on my horse while he lies on the ground kicking a ball around without a bridle while Leatherface does an interpretive dance with his chainsaw around us.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2006
    Posts
    4,343

    Default

    You know what there are many, many people who smoke pot and raise kids who are JUST FINE. I know potsmokers at all levels of society from absolute losers to people who are upstanding citizens and active in local government and highly paid professionals.

    What are the conditions of the home? Are they properly caring for the child? Are they stoned, blaring music, unaware of a baby sitting in a dirty diaper or are they caring for the child and enjoying pot later at night.

    I think if you have an issue with drug use, take it up in a nicer way than involving the police and DSS and creating drama. If it really is a hazard.... then try to help.



Similar Threads

  1. Have teenage girls gotten meaner?
    By Bogie in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 64
    Last Post: May. 7, 2014, 10:37 PM
  2. Any other parents have the "hang out house"...
    By Canaqua in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: Sep. 7, 2012, 05:29 AM
  3. Marketing the teenage horse?
    By Heinz 57 in forum Eventing
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: Jun. 1, 2011, 08:29 PM
  4. Baby Goats in the House
    By aspenlucas in forum Around The Farm
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: Dec. 19, 2010, 03:52 PM
  5. Chrome on a baby from two plain parents?
    By buschkn in forum Sport Horse Breeding
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: Feb. 25, 2010, 06:35 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •