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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,923

    Default NO-- the extended dance mix version

    I'll be blunt with my rant and curiousity.

    Here and elsewhere I see "NO" expressed in lots and lots of syllables.

    If the statement includes a preference, it gets even longer. It seems you can't say what you want without a full paragraph the deflects the cause of the request elsewhere. Oh, you can demand it all right, but you can't admit to wanting it yourself.

    Your famous and infamous examples?

    Or can we just agree to Quit It?

    A crazy discussion of this. So I'm reading some magazine about how to order wine at a business dinner if you are broke and/or clueless.

    The author's advice about disguising an attempt to ask the prices was that you say "At what price point is that particular bottle of wine?" Then! The author explains why this is so awesome. Because "price point" is new-fangled phrase buried in a long sentence of a question.

    Seriously. How's that going to work? Or work more than once?
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep. 3, 2010
    Location
    Northeast
    Posts
    58

    Default

    If Im eating at a restaurant where the menu DOESNT have the prices listed.......then more than likely I can probably afford whatever wine I want!



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb. 4, 2009
    Location
    NCC DE
    Posts
    2,244

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post

    A crazy discussion of this. So I'm reading some magazine about how to order wine at a business dinner if you are broke and/or clueless.

    The author's advice about disguising an attempt to ask the prices was that you say "At what price point is that particular bottle of wine?" Then! The author explains why this is so awesome. Because "price point" is new-fangled phrase buried in a long sentence of a question.

    Seriously. How's that going to work? Or work more than once?
    Really? The author doesn't think that most people know that "what price point" = "how much is it"?

    Asking that way just makes you seem both poor and a pretentious a$$ instead of just poor.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2010
    Location
    All 'round Canadia
    Posts
    4,512

    Default

    Wait, is the broke/clueless person the host (who should have the menu with the prices), or a guest who's trying to be mannerly and not break the host's bank, or just a co-diner out with richer colleagues?
    For #1 host should have the price, #2 ask for house wine or ask the host what they'd recommend, #3 house wine. Not rocket science.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 28, 2007
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    4,049

    Default

    I'm not exactly sure I understand your OP, but when in Italy eating out and tired of overpaying with quiet (never complain) fellow travelers, I finally took over the ordering. When the waiter insinuated we should have (overpriced) wine with dinner , I asked how much it cost. When told I said "Oh, that's too expensive, we'll have cokes". The waiter then offered local cheap wine which was wonderful. After that we always asked for that wine which was never printed on any menu.
    I find it very freeing to say "Nope, too expensive" or "I can't afford it".



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,923

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mswillie View Post
    Really? The author doesn't think that most people know that "what price point" = "how much is it"?

    Asking that way just makes you seem both poor and a pretentious a$$ instead of just poor.
    On the wine ordering example. I think the author was an idiot in his advice, and an idiot to be giving advice about how to verbally hide the real question.

    I can imagine the waiter being annoyed having to do some translation and then answering the "how much does a bottle cost?" with a blunt answer.

    My point is that the truth is buried in there somewhere. Don't tart it up so the other side has to look for it.

    I'm mainly thinking of advice about making a request, a firm one or saying no that I see here and elsewhere.

    So--you don't want WS who you think is rough on horses, or you BFF's kid to torture your cats when they come over to visit.

    The scripts written by folks for dealing with these are so long! And the point "Here's what I want you to do" gets lots. Sometimes there is some judgment in there, too, and that gets slid in indirectly.

    Man, just say it!
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec. 10, 2001
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    1,829

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    Man, just say it!

    While I love this statement, it does not translate so well into real life.

    I've been accused of being so Blunt it hurts. I prefer to think of it as honest, and forthright, but apparently others dont.

    Everyone will say "Just tell me the truth, I can take it". But really, they can't take the unvarnished truth. People want it smoothed over, I guess it hurts less smothered by pretty words.

    In order to live and work among many other personalities, we have to dance around feelings and opinions.

    One of the many reasons why I live in the middle of nowhere, am self-employed, and work alone
    OLD FRIENDS FARM-Equine Retirement-We LOVE Seniors!! Spoiling Retirees since 1998
    http://www.angelfire.com/oldfriendsfarm/home.html
    Charter Member of UYA!



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