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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr. 10, 2006
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    7,393

    Default Today is Birth Mother's Day

    As an adoptive mom, today has a special significance because it is Birth Mother's Day. We were lucky enough to spend the day with our daughter's birth mom and her daughter. We have an easy and comfortable relationship and I am so thankful for that.

    For all the birth moms who may be out there, who maybe don't get to celebrate Mother's Day in the traditional way, I just wanted to say I am thinking of you. I know Mother's Day can be a difficult holiday, and I wish you peace and comfort.
    We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb. 18, 2009
    Location
    far side of the moon, Utah
    Posts
    107

    Default

    As a hopeful adoptive parent, I hope that I will be able to honor the birthparent of my future child(ren) on this day as well.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2006
    Location
    near St. Louie, Louie!
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    1,295

    Default

    Our son's adoption isn't open (birthmother's choice), but not a day goes by that I don't thank the good Lord above for her. We have all her identifying information for Z when he's old enough, but we can never thank her for the tremendous gift she gave us in our oldest son.




  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 24, 2007
    Location
    small town, Ohio
    Posts
    613

    Default

    Wow. I feel like a selfish b**ch.

    I was adopted and I must admit I've never even given a thought to the woman who gave birth to me. My parents are my parents and I love them more than words can say but the adoption thing was never even a thought.

    Now I'm wondering (at the ripe old age of 43) if my birth mother ever thinks of me. Wow. Interesting thought.
    Rhythm the perfect OTTB;Spock the will-be perfect OTTB;Mia the Arab/appendix COTH giveaway



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2006
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    near St. Louie, Louie!
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    1,295

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IveGotRhythm View Post
    Wow. I feel like a selfish b**ch.

    I was adopted and I must admit I've never even given a thought to the woman who gave birth to me. My parents are my parents and I love them more than words can say but the adoption thing was never even a thought.

    Now I'm wondering (at the ripe old age of 43) if my birth mother ever thinks of me. Wow. Interesting thought.
    This is pretty much how my 12 year old is. He's asked questions, but once his initial curiosity was satisfied, he's not said another word. And this is a kid who is very open with his thoughts and emotions.

    I don't think you're selfish AT ALL. You know who your family is. Period.




  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2010
    Location
    Madisonville, TX
    Posts
    830

    Default

    How interesting. As a birth mother, I've honestly never heard of this.

    Thank you though to those who remember what we birth mothers gave up to give another life a better chance!

    I think of my biological children quite often. I don't hear from their parents much, but every contact is cherished. I have a little photo album with their pictures and letters saved.

    Thank you for sharing. The world of a birth mother is often over looked and hidden. It's rare than even I speak about it, and I'm as comfortable with my choice as it's possible to be I think.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2010
    Location
    yonder a bit, GA
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    Default

    I recently made contact with my birth mom, well two years ago last week. We became very close and were so similar in many ways it was almost creepy, but in a good way! We were also very different from each other at the same time. She died from cancer in july. We had a really wonderful phone conversation on mother's day last year. We had others after that, but I will remember that one especially.
    A heartfelt thank you to the other birthmoms and adoptive moms out there



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr. 10, 2006
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    7,393

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bits619 View Post
    I recently made contact with my birth mom, well two years ago last week. We became very close and were so similar in many ways it was almost creepy, but in a good way! We were also very different from each other at the same time. She died from cancer in july. We had a really wonderful phone conversation on mother's day last year. We had others after that, but I will remember that one especially.
    A heartfelt thank you to the other birthmoms and adoptive moms out there
    Oh bits my condolences on her passing. I am so glad you were able to connect with her prior, that is amazing.

    I know adoption is a sensitive topic and feelings can range all over the board. But I was especially touched by our meeting yesterday and wanted to give a shout out to all the birth moms out there who may be missing children today.

    And IGR you are not selfish at all. I hope I didn't offend by posting. I can't say for sure but I'd suspect she does think of you from time to time. I love that you have such a good relationship with your parents, I hope my daughter sees my husband and I in the same light as she grows.
    We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2010
    Location
    yonder a bit, GA
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    Default

    Thanks, FG. It really was a wonderful experience. Now of course, dealing with her relatives (husband especially), is a whooooole different can of worms with her gone, just drama llamas i don't have any use for.... But still, it was worth it. I think we both got exactly what we needed from the reconnection. I got to see her, know her story, answer lots of questions. She got to do the same, plus putting her fears to rest that i had grown up in a bad home or had been unsafe. Those were her biggest fears.
    I went out there to see her when things were really, really bad at the end. The day before she died, she got to meet my mom, who flew out on short notice because my birthmom asked for her. My mom didn't even ask one question, just flew across the country so she could be there. That's a mom, right there.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 2010
    Location
    Texarkana, AR
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    1,852

    Default

    I was unable to comment on this in a timely manner since I don't have computer access on weekends. So since off topic is still open I will comment on it now.

    May 8th was NOT "birth mother's day", it was MOTHER'S DAY. The woman who gave birth to my daughter was never her mother. She was a meth addict who would leave her with anyone she thought was "nice" while she went off on one of her drug binges. My daughter came into foster care at age 3, I adopted her at age 5 (nine years ago July 27th). When my daughter came into care, she was filthy, her teeth were rotted to the gums, her clothes didn't fit and her gorgeous strawberry blond hair was dyed a hideous brown to disguise her from CPS. She is now a beautiful young woman, an honor roll student, a talented dancer and artist. I gave her the stability and wherewithal to develop to her true potential. She is my pride and joy. I am the only real mother she has ever known. So, just because a woman gave birth to a child doesn't make them a mother. A mother is the person who stays up when they are sick, goes to the parent/teacher meetings, dries their tears, gives them roots and wings.

    Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug. 11, 2008
    Location
    Northeast PA
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    1,497

    Default

    Uh, FG posted on May 7th... not 8th...



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar. 23, 2005
    Location
    SF Bay Area
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    3,001

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bits619 View Post
    The day before she died, she got to meet my mom, who flew out on short notice because my birthmom asked for her. My mom didn't even ask one question, just flew across the country so she could be there. That's a mom, right there.
    This brought tears to my eyes...

    Sounds like both moms wanted the best for you.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2010
    Location
    Madisonville, TX
    Posts
    830

    Default

    I'm sorry your child's birthmother was so terrible Wireweiners, but I am so happy you have a wonderful amazing daughter because of it.


    I personally, have never claimed to be my biological children's mother. I am not their mother. I am the one who gave them life so that they could bless the lives of two new mothers. And I'm happy with that.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2008
    Location
    SE, PA
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    1,080

    Default From an adoptive mom

    You gave birth to her, but I gave her life.....here's to us!!!
    Our horses know our secrets; we braid our tears into their manes and whisper our hopes into their ears.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb. 22, 2005
    Location
    Where the prairie ends and the mountains begin
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    2,723

    Default

    You know, I'll give a shout out to my sister's birth mother. And my brother-in-law's birth mother too.

    Thank you so much for the gift you gave mine and my husbands parents.
    Dreaming in Color



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 11, 2008
    Location
    Windsor SC till Aug
    Posts
    1,410

    Default

    As a birth mom, I've never heard of birth mothers day either!

    Very open adoption, while he lives a thousand miles away, I did get to see him at Christmas, he's now 11. He got to meet his half brother, my 2yr old. It was really neat and we had a good time.

    Emotions with adoptions can be all over the place! But though the above mom adopted her daughter from a horrible situation, that is just not always the case! It is a wonderful thing when birth mothers and later their families can be included in the adopted child's life. For us, it's just more family, more gifts, more pictures, more stories to listen to, more shoulders to cry on, more cards to read, letters to write, etc... Nothing weird about it!

    I don't regret my decision at all, too young, not ready! I would have made a horrible single mother struggling to raise him and letting day care do it for me. Not the way I wanted to be a mom! So I picked a wonderful family, and they have done such a fine job with him. I couldn't be happier and so glad we get to be a part of his life too!

    So here's a happy late birth mothers day to everyone it applies to!



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