I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and it's ruining my life. After two stays in the hospital, I'm finally addressing it. Right now, we're waiting on a bed to open at Sheppard Pratt on their trauma unit so I can get the treatment I need. This has perhaps been the hardest year of my life.
Member of the "I Ride A Chestnut Thoroughbred Mare, So You Don't Scare Me Clique"
I'm sorry, too. I had a slight version of PTSD when I witnessed (helpless--tried to stop it but I couldn't) my wonderful, kind gelding literally rip a two week old foal apart. It was horrific, and for two solid weeks I couldn't sleep because every time I closed my eyes, that's all I could see. I finally saw someone who helped me find another image to replace that one, but it took almost a year before I could really do it.
Folks who are in war settings, etc. have it worse yet. I hope you are able to find yourself again.
I have been diagnosed with it for 3 1/2 years. Happened after my bad accident. I am on medication for it and as long as I take it I do pretty well. Problem is when I get to feeling great I stop taking it. (Just got scolded big time by my Doc last week about stopping and starting) My symptoms come and go and are very bad if I hurt my self in anyway. Any added pain to the constant physical pain I already have and I back slide a ton. Depresion is also something I am diagnosed with as because of my accident I can no longer do most of the things that I used to beable to do. I went from being a very independant person and taking care of family, horses, farm and working any where from 40 - 70 hrs a week down to I can't do much of anything anymore. I can't sit or stand for long periods of time, can't lift anything over the 5-8 pound range can't twist at the waist or bend forward or backword, can't stoop need help getting up from sitting specially if I have to sit on a floor.
However the one good thing that helps me keep some of my sanity is that with the help of friends and on a good pain day I can actually ride.
I have great support from family and friends but there is no PTSD support groups in my area. If there were I would be there. If your hospital offers a PTSD support group I would do it. I have also had some councling just regarding my feelings off the whole trauma experience. I have also found that I can't let PTSD llive my life for me that I have to live my life having PTSD and not let it rule me.
I wish you the best of luck. PTSD is so difficult to live with. I run a drug and alcohol rehab and many of our clients have PTSD in addition to their addiction issues, and I have seen firsthand how hard it can be to deal with. You can do it, I'm glad you are seeking help!
Salemlee, yes, it is possible to have PTSD or a trauma disorder from being a victim of spousal abuse by an alcoholic. I am treating someone just like that right now. The good news is, PTSD/trauma is treatable. It may take some time, but I have hope for each and every one of my trauma clients. No, things will never be quite the same, but you can learn how to integrate your experience(s) into your life in a healthy and fulfilling way.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. W. C. Fields
If you can find the right help (a good program, therapist etc.) and are willing and able to do the work, a lot can be accomplished! The Women's Treatment Program at McLean Hospital was very helpful for me.
Please feel free to PM me if you want more details.