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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun. 15, 2009
    Posts
    65

    Default Funny BNT/BNR quotes?

    Just watching an old episode of the amazing Canadian series, "Along for the Ride" featuring Gail Greenough in Edmonton, where I caught something funny she said.

    "As a rider, and you know, as Gail Greenough, I have to be the best."

    Hahahaha! Nothing against her, just caught it as hilarious! Lovely lady, though!

    (ps - she meant it in the sense that GG is competitive, just funny in 3rd person)

    Anyone have anything like this, excusing the classic GM quotes?
    "Riding a horse ... is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and, once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed."



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb. 19, 2011
    Posts
    47

    Default

    "He is a bit.... stupid, in his head" - A German dressage coach after watching my very stubborn horse back around the arena about three times!!

    He also called him everything under the sun in German, which i can't understand and am not sure I want to hahaha
    Veni, Vidi, Vici. I Came, I Saw, I Conquered.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep. 27, 2000
    Location
    Southern California - on a freeway someplace
    Posts
    9,723

    Default

    "No one ever died halting at X." Don Sachey
    The Evil Chem Prof



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2001
    Location
    Trailer Trash Ammy!
    Posts
    19,520

    Default

    Loads of good GM ones:

    "Distances are like men. Never grab the first one you see; it's never the best one, more will come along."

    "Are you yawning? You don't ride well enough to yawn...I can yawn, because I ride better then you, Meredith Michaels Beerbaum can yawn. But you? Not so much..."
    "The standard you walk by is the standard you accept."--Lt. Gen. David Morrison, Austalian Army Chief



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 2004
    Location
    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    1,276

    Default

    The MMB one always cracks me up because I was there when he said it.. no to me thank goodness
    Fullcirclefarmsc.com



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2010
    Location
    Western NY
    Posts
    1,095

    Default

    "You're horse just vomited over that fence" - Carol Kozlowski



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 1999
    Location
    Cypress, near Houston, Texas
    Posts
    8,485

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliodoro View Post
    "You're horse just vomited over that fence" - Carol Kozlowski
    Oh, now THAT's funny! And I can see in my mind exactly what she meant!
    Visit Sonesta Farms website at www.sonestafarms.com or our FaceBook page at www.facebook.com/sonestafarms. Also showing & breeding Cavalier King Charles Spaniels.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar. 25, 2011
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    5,081

    Default

    Here's a hole in my Dressage nomenclature. What is BNT/BNR?

    Paula



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 1999
    Location
    Cypress, near Houston, Texas
    Posts
    8,485

    Default

    Big Name Trainer/Big Name Rider
    Visit Sonesta Farms website at www.sonestafarms.com or our FaceBook page at www.facebook.com/sonestafarms. Also showing & breeding Cavalier King Charles Spaniels.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 25, 2011
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    5,081

    Default

    Oh I see! Thank you so much.

    Paula



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2002
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    4,997

    Default

    Jeff Cook kept referring to one horse at a clinic as "that little RAT" -- for some reason the fact that he called her that throughout the entire clinic just cracked me up. She was kind of being naughty.

    Another BNT that I won't name observed that a rider in his clinic appeared to be preparing for a proctologist exam over every jump. My trainer thought that and some other remarks were a little over the top, esp as the session wasn't all adults, but it did get the point across!



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2003
    Location
    Bristol, TN
    Posts
    1,717

    Default

    My all-time favorite came from none other than General Jonathon Burton, at a clinic when I was so new to riding that I had no idea who he was (and he was very kind to me). As a rider exited the ring, he said to the watching crowd, "There's an example of a person who will buy a very expensive horse to cover up a basic inability to ride." Ouch!

    My favorite said to me? By a very BNR, after I let my horse stop at the top of a bank. "KIM. JUMP. THE. FU**ING. BANK." I hear that in my head each and every time I come to a down bank. I've never had a stop at one since.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun. 18, 2005
    Location
    Sweet, sweet Virginia!
    Posts
    1,706

    Default

    Me too!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonesta View Post
    Oh, now THAT's funny! And I can see in my mind exactly what she meant!
    "Radar, the man's ex-cavalry: if he sees four flies having a meeting, he knows they're talking about a horse!" Cptn. BJ Hunnicutt, M*A*S*H Season 4, Episode "Dear Mildred"



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan. 7, 2009
    Location
    Cincinnati, OH
    Posts
    1,363

    Default

    I wish I could remember who the trainer was who said this - it was a jumping clinic at the Ohio Equine Affaire back in the 90's. They'd already been having the riders put together a small course, and told them to "jump it in reverse."

    The first rider to go took that a bit too literally and actually jumped one of the lines backwards, going over a rather large oxer back-to-front, while the trainer stood and watched dumbfounded before he was able to stop her and corrected.

    Once she realized her mistake and people stopped chuckling, the trainer said, "It's only funny because you survived."

    I still use that phrase. . .usually relating to some of my adventures out on trail.
    Please copy and paste this to your signature if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a smack upside the head. Lets raise awareness.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar. 26, 2008
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    1,855

    Default

    A woman I took a couple dressage lessons with shared a line with me from a trainer she rode with. He was trying to make a point that there's no reason to get upset when a horse doesn't "get it" right away, and that it's okay to go through those ugly spots.

    "Eh, remember: if you were to just get off your horse right now, he would probably just roll and break the tree on your saddle, step on your reins and snap them, and then run off to play."

    So not as gut-busting as a classic GM, quote, but it makes me smile
    "Last time I picked your feet, you broke my toe!"



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 1999
    Location
    San Ramon/Castro Valley/Brentwood, California
    Posts
    1,664

    Default

    I cannot remember who said the following but I use them often:

    "There are no fleas breeding in that mane, if you would like to count them, you may dismount and do so."

    "I assure you, you will be the first to know if your horse is no longer under you."

    "Around here we no longer earn our spurs, we earn our brooms!"--this applies more to the women in our barn!

    "If heaven has no horses, then I am not dying."

    To the kids in my lessons when I need their attention: "Remember guys, I am 150 years old, I have eyes in the back of my head!!!" You should see those eyes get wide..and of course I am just howling! Nothing like teaching 8 year olds going on 30!!! One of them said to me the other day when I had her ride one of the unruly ponies: "Princess will be good, she will be very good, because being bad is not an option!" That's my girl!!!!!!



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jul. 14, 2008
    Location
    Carrollton, Ga
    Posts
    1,251

    Default

    Even though she is not a BNT, the quote that my trainer used that stuck with me is "quit making excuses and ride your horse!"
    I am the queen of, "he can't do that because...." she does not allow me to have an excuse anymore and I have found we really can do whatever she is teaching us!



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Mar. 7, 2011
    Posts
    173

    Default

    MY most favorite one from my trainer ( my mom) :

    " Don't Panic till I Panic" If I panic you better RUN!!!!



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 2009
    Location
    Lyman, ME
    Posts
    401

    Default

    This really has nothing to do with riding, but has always made me chuckle even after 40 years: my paleotology professor in Norfolk, UK was trying to explain the extraordinary special circumstances needed for a fossil to be created, starting with the location and circumstances of the dinosaur's death. He explained that dinos dying in a tar pit or swamp might turn into fossils, but "dinosaurs dying out in the open had virtually no chance of survival at all..."
    This thread reminded me of that.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    3,247

    Smile

    BN dressage T from Germany - "Dream Girl, why are you dreaming?" for the rider who didn't listen/pay attention to his instructions. Or "This horse has a neck like a roooober snake." for the horse with the long neck that was difficult to keep in front of the leg in a consistent shoulder fore.

    BNT/R from the US - "Just RIDE!!!" after suggesting about 1000 ways to fix an intricate problem with a disobedient horse and nothing was working... Jeez - that's what I was trying to do...

    One of my mom's (she's my full time trainer) - "There is no instruction manuel in the mane, so quit looking for it."

    And from a lady who had a string of horses to trail ride on the beach in Bermuda for the tourists - "Pull on the left rein to turn left. Pull on the right rein to turn right. Pull on both reins to stop. Kick gently if you want to go forward."



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