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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct. 25, 2005
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    1,133

    Smile OK COTHEers would love your relationship advice!

    So here I am procrastinating an assignment (uh that's due at midnight) but I would love to hear everyone's tips of the trade for entering a new relationship.

    I've been solid friends with this guy for about a year, he's in my major here at college. We have a lot of fun together. Over this past school year he has slowly been letting me know he's into me (texts, we've hung out, went out for drinks). But the timing was always off for us. Well finally this past Tuesday we went out to the grocery store and after spent a good two hours talking. We talked through all the things we are thinking about our possible relationship and it was wonderful. This guy has just about everything I've been looking for: kind, smart, funny, and a total gentleman (he opens doors for me!). We both agreed we'd be good for each other. There was teeny tiny kiss but that was about it before we called it a night.

    That was a couple of days ago and we haven't really re-connected since although we have casually texted and both agreed that we are happy with our big talk. I know there must be other COTHers here who have been in a similar situation and I would really like some advice. I'm just antsy! Any tips on how to stay sane while I wait for the next text message or phone call? This is the fella I would love to take home to Mom & Dad.

    I also NEVER thought I'd be posting this here! Or even in the situation since I'm graduating in May! (he graduates in July).



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 5, 2009
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    In a barn
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    967

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    No tips, but I have to say that your post just tickled the pajeebers out of me! It's so fun to hear the excitement in your voice and the giddiness over whether or not you'll hear from him soon again......ahhh, falling in love. There's just nothing like it!

    Be happy. And enjoy every minute.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2008
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    838

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    this is such a fun time in a relationship! even though it is tempting to look at your phone every 11 seconds- dont. go out with friends and have fun! and don't be a clingy overly aggressive girl either. answering his texts and phone calls is fine, but don't call him every day yet! let him wonder about what you are doing and miss you some. stalk him on facebook if you want, that always made me feel better!

    my husband once told me that one of the things he loves about me the most is that he knows i have a life outside of him and passions of my own. this made me feel much better about being the girl that always played a little "hard to get". it's old fashioned, i know, but i'm southern and it's just the way i was raised! and it works
    Jazz- 4.9.01 OTTB, loved since 12.6.09
    Skip- 3.3.91 APHA, i miss you buddy



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct. 25, 2005
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    Aw thank you guys that is so sweet of you!! I should probably mention that this would be my first ever real life relationship. College has been busy!

    One thing I have worked hard at is creating my own life and developing my own interests and he has does the same. So I'm not too concerned about that but unfortunately tonight is one of those nights where instead of being out at the bar getting my drink on I'm scribbling out a paper (and obviously distracted by COTH) lol so I'm a lot more anxious.

    Phone is turned off and in a drawer.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug. 10, 2009
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    1,057

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    It sounds like you guys are off to a great start! Friends first is a great start. You already know you enjoy each other's company. I would bet he is dialing your number and not hitting send over and over for wanting to play it "cool". So keep busy, and it sounds like you guys are on the same page, so let things happen naturally. Good luck and have fun!!!!



  6. #6
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    Oct. 25, 2005
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    Thanks Need Advil!! I am hoping we can talk again in the next day or two so we can perhaps make it Facebook official haha.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan. 30, 2007
    Location
    Lexington, KY
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    434

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    Aww! This sounds so familiar to how my current relationship began- it has now been 2 years, we are now living together, we've both been home to meet each others families, and things are going amazingly! I feel like this is the "one" and we've even touched on the subject of marriage, however there are things in life that we still want to accomplish before taking that step. And why not?

    What are your plans after graduation? Are the two of you going to be living nearby?

    This is exciting.
    Every one of them had that look of a girl infatuated with horses, the happy, fated look of a passenger setting sail on the Titanic.



  8. #8
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    Oct. 25, 2005
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    1,133

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    kristinq,

    Aw I'm so glad to hear that your relationship is going so well!

    Well he is from New Jersey and I'm from Maryland. So when I graduate I'll go back home and he'll be here at our college in Pennsylvania until July. Then who knows!

    As far as my plans I am applying to a couple of internships in Washington D.C., Los Angeles, and Austin, Texas. The D.C. one is the most likely but we'll see. He's thinking about teaching in New Jersey (although I did hint that I knew of a private school hiring in Maryland lol).

    Honestly guys I am SO impatient! I am really ready to have the next conversation that could solidify us as a couple. I just don't want to look desperate or needy or pushy by texting a lot--definitely messed things up with guys like that before.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan. 30, 2007
    Location
    Lexington, KY
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    434

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    Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by theblondejumper View Post
    Honestly guys I am SO impatient! I am really ready to have the next conversation that could solidify us as a couple. I just don't want to look desperate or needy or pushy by texting a lot--definitely messed things up with guys like that before.
    Lol, we've all been there before! This is such an exciting part of any relationship. You'll be fine. You guys both sound very smart and independent.

    I think a big part of my relationship was that we DIDN'T text very often, only to make plans about meeting up in person. So much can get misinterpreted via text message that sometimes it can just get complicated. So just be careful and tread lightly in that aspect.
    Every one of them had that look of a girl infatuated with horses, the happy, fated look of a passenger setting sail on the Titanic.



  10. #10
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    Oct. 25, 2005
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    kristin, you're definitely right! My phone is off and far, far away, I'm going out with the girls tonight so I won't be sitting around wondering about him. Gotta stay busy! (good thing I have a lot of work to do).



  11. #11
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    Aug. 25, 2008
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    Florida
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    Finish your durned assignment! There, said the college instructor . And enjoy...



  12. #12
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    Oct. 25, 2005
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    thatmoody,

    Thanks! Unfortunately it's more than one assignment its a whole barrage...second semester senior in college...ugh.

    Sooooo everyone if you are curious to know we had a brief instance of him drunk dialing me last night (where he was very honest about his feelings and I humored him a bit by chatting, I was definitely the more sober one). I felt really uncomfortable about it and some of the things we said but by this morning it really didn't bother me much.

    We chatted for a tiny bit this morning and he let me know that he really needs a week to think about things and make some decisions. I told him that I truly respect his honesty and will be here waiting for him when he's ready.

    Now to turn the phone back off and put it in the drawer.

    Thanks everyone for your encouragement and suggestions! I appreciate it. Maybe I'll have a better update by the next OT day.



  13. #13
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    Mar. 6, 2002
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    Just south of Central Garage.
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    Quote Originally Posted by skip916 View Post
    i have a life outside of him and passions of my own
    I think this is vital in any relationship. You can't have one person who is really into something (horses, trail running, whatever) and the other one who doesn't have something equally important in their own life. It's great if you are both into the same thing, but that doesn't work for some couples.
    Amateur rider, professional braider.
    ----
    Save a life, adopt a pet.



  14. #14
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    Oct. 25, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foxhound View Post
    I think this is vital in any relationship. You can't have one person who is really into something (horses, trail running, whatever) and the other one who doesn't have something equally important in their own life. It's great if you are both into the same thing, but that doesn't work for some couples.
    I wholeheartedly agree.



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