The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Results 1 to 18 of 18
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar. 29, 2003
    Location
    Manchester, MI
    Posts
    1,375

    Default I am not 4-H material...

    So, let me give some background here: I have a successful, somewhat small to moderately sized boarding and training facility. I breed, I teach, etc. I am in my 30's, happily married, and apparently, so everyone says, very outspoken. I tell it like it is, but I'm always willing to help, I love my students, they love me.
    OK.
    Some of the boarders in my barn wanted to get a table at the local 4-H used tack sale because they, and myself, had some stuff we wanted to sell. So I reserved the table and cleaned up all the stuff I wanted to sell, gathered it and my boarders stuff together, packed it my truck, along with myself and my dog. Now, my dog is just pretty cool. He's no breed in particular - just black and white with big pointy ears. His name is Arrow and he's a well-behaved guy who would have liked to just hang with me all day. I brought him because I wasn't sure the boarders that volunteered to be there would be able to stay all day and I didn't want to be all by myself. There are dogs Every. Single. Year. at this sale. I didn't think it would be a big deal.
    Sure enough, we get there and as we're walking to our table the Wicked Witch in charge of the whole thing makes a big production - yelling no less - "You can't have dogs here - he has to leave!" "
    Ok - but there are always dogs here" I say.
    "Well he's going to have to leave"
    Mind you - she's still yelling causing a bit of a scene.
    After trying to tell her that I can't leave - I have to be here to man the table, she gets upset and says that he's going to have to take himself home.
    I'm thinking- well, as soon as I teach him to drive, I'll have him do that.

    Here's where I proved that perhaps I do not fit in with the holier-than-thou local 4-H crowd.
    As I'm turning around to drop my goods on the table I say to myself - mind you...no one in particular - "What the F*** am I supposed to do with him?"
    Sure enough four hens descend upon the wicked witch in charge hissing "She swore - she used cuss words...she can't do that! This is 4-H!"
    So the wicked witch lays into me AGAIN about swearing. She goes on and on about how I'm being a bad influence.
    At that point, without even thinking about it I say to her "What the H*** do you want from me?"


    Now here's the thing: I understand I have rather um...creative language skills that may not be appreciated by others. I should really try to tone it down. I get that. It's what I do, it's how I am. We all have our faults. The way I figure it, I'm not robbing banks, I'm not assaulting old ladies, so if swearing is my worst habit, then fine. I usually spend my days hiding in my own little corner of my barn anyway.

    One of my friends offered to take Mr. Arrow home, much to his dismay. He was a perfectly behaved gentleman the time he was there. It's too bad he couldn't stay.
    And in the four hours we were there I saw about three other dogs wandering about, yelping and the like.
    No one said anything to them. As I walked around the sale from time to time, I heard my fair share of cuss words from others. And no one said a thing.
    So I called my husband from the truck later and rattled off a litiny of cuss words to make myself feel better. I got home, I gave my dog a big kiss, and then sat down with my favorite movie, my husband, and an immense glass of wine.

    Thus ended my day of corrupting the local youth.
    Oh - and I made about $200 at the sale. I'd like to buy that pair of Dubarry's I've been eyeing, but instead, I'll probably buy feed instead
    Come to the darkside...we have cookies.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    In Trouble with Dad...
    Posts
    29,961

    Default

    Should have popped a beer open...

    Well, consider this: She needed a drink and some lovin...

    I am sure you had nicer stuff, the prettier nose, the fluffier hair.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct. 3, 2002
    Location
    Boogerville, USA
    Posts
    858

    Default

    Having had similar experiences with 4-H, I feel your pain.

    And "other" situations where for everyone else, it's perfectly fine to behave a certain way: but should someone not part of The Speeshul Group behave that way ...



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun. 16, 2009
    Posts
    547

    Default

    While I know there can be bad bad experiences in 4-H, but there can also be REALLY good ones! When my mother died, my 4-H group really rallied around me and supported me when I needed it most. They even named a horse related award after her. I still talk to most of them and I am 4 years out of 4-h. AND AND AND the best part is, I am no backyardigan. I show A's too and I know people around me who are also in 4-H and do big shows. But I also know people who's biggest show is the county fair, and thats OK. Sorry to get off topic! But I loved 4-h. I won a pretty big scholarship from them my senior year of HS (~1000$)



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar. 20, 2007
    Posts
    532

    Default

    Why bring a dog to a public event ? Do you let people bring their dogs to your place? I don't and I don't drag my dogs out to theirs.

    I am sure there was bad language floating around there but as an adult role model type, why didn't you take the high road to begin with? In fact,it would have been so much easier to go with the polite gee-golly-gosh thing in the first place and let the Boss lady be queen of her world and she would have lightened up on the dog thing. It's their event and you are a visitor. you sound pretty short tempered



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar. 29, 2003
    Location
    Manchester, MI
    Posts
    1,375

    Default

    My dear Lostboy,
    In my post, I was not looking for validation or sympathy of any kind. I have big enough big girl panties to not need any of that. I was simply posting the story of a day in my life, and even poking fun at myself.
    Everyone is entitled to their opinion - that is what this forum is for, is it not? And I welcome yours, truly I do. However since I was not looking for validation of any sort and I was simply just venting a bit I will simply say that no one needs to get their thongs in a knot.
    And as for the comment you made about why I brought my dog - dogs are at that particular event every single year. Had I known they suddenly didn't want dogs there, I would have happily left him home. However, since I have seen them there before, I didn't think it would be a big deal. And as I said in my initial post, there were dogs wandering around even after the lady made a scene over mine.

    Truly - I am not in a huff, I am not attaching any "mad" icons to my post - I am laughing at myself and the interesting events that make my life ever so NOT dull! And yes - I have a mouth. And it's not always PG rated. But you know what? I'm me, I'm great with my students, their parents love me (and no, I don't swear in their presence if at all possible) and I'm pretty darn proud of who I am. End of story.

    So Lostboy, when you decide to dismount from your high horse and get unwound about my initial post, I will happily share a glass of white wine with you and perhaps discuss the latin roots of some of my favorite words
    Come to the darkside...we have cookies.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 20, 2007
    Posts
    532

    Default

    Sorry, didn't catch that you were poking fun at yourself and how your day went. I will happily let you have the wine and pour a Bushmills for myself.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan. 3, 2003
    Location
    St. Louis, MO USA
    Posts
    924

    Default

    If it makes you feel any better, when I was a junior rider in 4-H, I was told I could not join the local 4-H club because "I won too much".
    My new mantra - \"Life is too short not to eat ice cream.\"
    ReRiders Clique



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar. 29, 2003
    Location
    Manchester, MI
    Posts
    1,375

    Default

    My good friend and I were both in 4-H. I remember one time her horse bit her - hard - on the arm. She smacked him in the mouth - didn't beat on him, didn't make a big ruckous - just sharply smacked him on the mouth to reprimand him for biting.
    She was later brought before the 4-H board for "abusive behavior" and not behaving according to standards.

    I always wanted to ask the board why they didn't bring her horse up before them

    I really don't mean to bash 4-H, because even though I really, strongly disagree with some of their practices I figure if they are able to help kids learn about horses, great. But sometimes I just want to shake them, ya know?
    Come to the darkside...we have cookies.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug. 17, 2004
    Location
    Rixeyville, VA
    Posts
    6,362

    Default

    I was a 4-Her and it was an all round good experience. Since it is a government funded program, it is open to anyone meeting the qualifications regardless if "they won too much."

    As for the OP's experience, I would never assume that it is okay to bring a dog to a public event unless I asked first. Dog bite liability is HUGE and the event may have had insurance issues with vendors bringing dogs.

    As for cursing, was it really appropriate at this venue? Is it plainspokeness or just an excuse for not using the array of adjectives and adverbs we have in the English language? Honestly, having a potty mouth is not all that attractive, particularly on a lady.
    Where Norwegian Fjords Rule
    http://www.ironwood-farm.com



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar. 29, 2003
    Location
    Manchester, MI
    Posts
    1,375

    Default

    Again, for anyone who wants to judge, that's cool. I'm not looking for reinforcements Just talkin' bout my day yesterday. Sheesh.
    I'm darn happy that there are people out there who don't swear in public and are better than I am. We need people like that - to put stuff on Mars and solve the national deficit. And to do that dogs are completely unnecessary
    And for the record, I never said I was a lady! I think I'm offended by that....
    Come to the darkside...we have cookies.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    In Trouble with Dad...
    Posts
    29,961

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fargonefarm View Post
    My good friend and I were both in 4-H. I remember one time her horse bit her - hard - on the arm. She smacked him in the mouth - didn't beat on him, didn't make a big ruckous - just sharply smacked him on the mouth to reprimand him for biting.
    She was later brought before the 4-H board for "abusive behavior" and not behaving according to standards.

    I always wanted to ask the board why they didn't bring her horse up before them

    I really don't mean to bash 4-H, because even though I really, strongly disagree with some of their practices I figure if they are able to help kids learn about horses, great. But sometimes I just want to shake them, ya know?

    maybe when the soccer moms take over?

    (LOL, are you sure you are not a lady?)
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2003
    Location
    Windward Farm, Washougal, WA- our work in progress, our money pit, our home!
    Posts
    6,384

    Default

    Fargone--I hear you. My personal experience, 30 years ago, with 4-H was great. My personal experience, last summer, with 4-H was a nightmare. Pretty much the same kind of "Tin Pot Terrorist" behavior from the Horse Superintendent at our county fair. I read up on my rules, hauled my horse in for the girl who was using him for the jumping portion of the fair and stepped back.

    Now..here's my question: why is it ok for the dressage tests to be read to kids in 4-H, but an adult cannot walk the course with a kid?? (which I set and measured because NO ONE had a clue about how to set a course...and somehow this one had no lines, except a triple bar 4 strides to an airy vertical...for 2'6" "Hunter Equitation"--and I was just the "parent" here).

    We pointed out the apparent discrepancy, but got verbally abused, loudly, by this woman. She was rude, abrupt, and unkind to me and the kid in question.

    Will I allow my horse to be a part of this again? No.

    What my issue is, is that the rules of 4-H seem irrelevant to folks. The neighboring county allows you to walk the course with kids, but not ours.
    Proud member of the "Don't rush to kill wildlife" clique!



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar. 29, 2003
    Location
    Manchester, MI
    Posts
    1,375

    Default

    Not to bash 4-H (because that was certainly NOT the intent of my original post) but I just have to share an issue:

    I have several students that participate in 4-H. It always baffles me that protective legwear for the horse is strictly forbidden, but whatever redunkulous and harsh bit you want to put in the horses' mouth is fine. That one just gets me boiling - especially when I see ill-balanced and ill-prepared riders reefing their poor horses' mouths. And then are placed first.
    I am usually a staple for "jumping day" at our local 4-H fair because usually the only kids from our local group that jump are my students. And since the leader doesn't have any experience with jumping, I offer to help out and coach.
    In the warm-up for one class a young girl got launched from her horse - I mean launched - and went face-first into the standard. She was not my student, but as no one seemed to be coaching the child and she was laying there bleeding, I ran out to assist.
    I was the ONLY. ONE. who did. And she didn't even belong to me! I apparently was the only one that cared
    I will never forget that.

    Anyhoo, I'm going to go back to being the apparent unladylike, ill-behaved, poor example that I am
    Carry on....
    Come to the darkside...we have cookies.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2003
    Posts
    18,472

    Default

    I am ROTFLMAO, thank you...
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2003
    Location
    Hollywood, but not the one where they have the Oscars!
    Posts
    6,811

    Default

    I feel you and I think I am your soulmate FG...AND..I am judging 4-H state in GA this year!!!
    "You can't really debate with someone who has a prescient invisible friend"
    carolprudm



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    In Trouble with Dad...
    Posts
    29,961

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fargonefarm View Post
    Anyhoo, I'm going to go back to being the apparent unladylike, ill-behaved, poor example that I am
    Carry on....

    And don't you go change!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Nov. 15, 2004
    Location
    Nescopeck PA
    Posts
    1,820

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lostboy View Post
    Sorry, didn't catch that you were poking fun at yourself and how your day went. I will happily let you have the wine and pour a Bushmills for myself.
    Don't feel bad, I didn't catch the poking either. As a mother of young children that go to 4-H events. I'd be appalled by someone swearing around them. Took my daughter to work one day, programmer said the F word. Daughter came home (age 5) and called her sister a little F****r. Yeah that got cool points.

    I also don't appreciate people dragging their dogs around. I have a very well mannered whippet, but we don't take him places. My daughter at age 5 was thrown to the ground and bitten repeatedly by a dog on a leash owned by a person that was talking to me. Dog lunged forward and grabbed her as she was standing there. I was told the dog had "never bitten". Not a fan of dogs in public places, but then I'm just telling about my experiences.
    Maria Hayes-Frosty Oak Stables
    Home to All Eyez On Me, 1998 16.2 Cleveland Bay Sporthorse Stallion
    & FrostyOak Hampton 2008 Pure Cleveland Bay Colt
    www.frostyoaks.com



Similar Threads

  1. Geotextile Material
    By aspenlucas in forum Around The Farm
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Jan. 18, 2012, 04:27 PM
  2. What Material Do You Use?
    By JollyBadger in forum Around The Farm
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Jul. 29, 2011, 10:29 AM
  3. Composite Material For Fencing?
    By Mosey_2003 in forum Around The Farm
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: Jul. 15, 2009, 10:52 AM
  4. What is your barn roof material?
    By dmalbone in forum Around The Farm
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: Jun. 24, 2009, 09:31 PM
  5. Material To Put Across Run-In Front?
    By EqTrainer in forum Horse Care
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: May. 23, 2009, 08:49 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •