Almost every Off Topic Day someone has a thread going about toxic family members, usually parents but sometimes siblings or spouses. Unfortunately I've got a family member I'd label as toxic as well. After yet another confrontation, in desperation I turned to the internet. I stumbled across a term I'd never heard of before Narcissist Personality Disorder and a few blogs which describe this family member of mine exactly. I was shocked that I had never heard of a Narcissist or NPD before. I'm not big on labels but I found one particular blog super helpful. Its written for those who have to deal with narcissists rather than for the narcissists themselves.
I didn't want to post this link as part of another thread in case it gets lost among all the posts. For any of you COTHers dealing with a toxic relationship with a parent, sibling or spouse perhaps you will find some of what is posted on this blog useful.
Here's a sample:
"All malignant narcissists are cases of arrested development.
They are perpetually living in a mindset of a young child. The age when a child is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong but very willing to do wrong if they think they won't get caught. Like a child, they feel entitled to whatever they want. Like a child, they recreate reality to suit their fantasy about themselves and the world around them. Like a child, they want all attention focused on them. But, unlike a child, the narcissist is not subject to being molded and shaped by authority figures or reality. The narcissist is determined (read here, conscious choice) to remain a child whereas most children are driven by a desire to grow up. Children are childish and there is no crime in that. I'm not pathologizing childhood. I'm highlighting that malignant narcissists are pathological children."