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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 16, 2009
    Posts
    95

    Default How to teach the boyfriend to ride...

    Self explanitory, my boyfriend wants to learn to ride. Anyone have any tips for teaching the mid-twenties, master of his own universe man to ride? I have never pressured, just offered, and he’s a really good sport so far. Who knows how long this phase will last (hopefully forever!) but I’m going to enable while I can

    I have a safe, reliable mare (but even still I have been doing a full ride on her first to tucker any last bits of crazy out of her), a western saddle and an indoor and outdoor arena. He’s been in my English saddle a few times, but I’m sure he’d be more comfy western. Plus he has cowboy boots, the safest riding boots he owns. I am trying to find a helmet big enough for his large head :P

    I am by no means an instructor, but I have ridden and had horses all my life so I hope I can teach the basics of steering, stopping, balance, etc. at the walk and trot, and of course safety. Anything more than that he can take formal lessons.

    I'm thinking some basic obstacle courses might be fun, around cones, over poles, etc. but really need guidance. Any advice would be appreciated!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    Location
    El Paso, TX
    Posts
    12,607

    Default

    If you want to still respect him, and have your relationship last- Find him an instructor (other than you).

    If you would like to get rid of him or would like to get even with him for past actions-teach him yourself.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 12, 2004
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    6,595

    Default

    He's a grown man, ask him what he wants to do. Maybe all he wants to do is trail ride, in which you can just walk alongside your mare on the trails, or borrow a horse.


    My boyfriend likes my horses well-enough, and has some basics under his belt/doesn't mind coming along for a ride. But he has no interest in pursuing horses on his own (he's a car boy), he just simply embraced them as something to do so that he could be with me. He's bored to death at shows/horsey events, but loves coming on a trail ride with me so that he can chit chat with me.

    Unfortunately, I no longer have a beginner-tolerant horse, so he doesn't get to come with me anymore.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov. 4, 2003
    Location
    Dallas, Georgia
    Posts
    16,674

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jetsmom View Post
    If you want to still respect him, and have your relationship last- Find him an instructor (other than you).

    If you would like to get rid of him or would like to get even with him for past actions-teach him yourself.
    DITTO!

    I love, adore my husband... but made it clear to him: Dearest, when I enter the ring, I turn into Your Trainer. I'm no longer your wife. Therefore, I will be firm, may yell, roll my eyes, etc. So, for the sake of your ego and our wonderful marriage, here's the number of a trainer who visits.

    This way everyone is happy and stays that way
    <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- "When they try to tell you these are your Golden years, don't believe 'em.... It's rust."



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr. 17, 2002
    Location
    between the barn and the pond
    Posts
    14,366

    Default

    HIRE. IT. DONE.

    Been there done that still married to him but Dear Lord Jeezoos I'd rather change diapers on a tiger than EVER do it again.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep. 4, 2010
    Posts
    54

    Default

    DEFINITELY in agreement with Jetsmom!

    My advice- purchase cheap, SAFE horse and tack (and helmet). Advise boyfriend- "kick to go, pull to stop" and then go ride your horse and pay as little attention to boyfriend as possible while he zooms back and forth in straight lines for 20 minutes until he loses interest.

    This philosophy worked wonderfully for me. Boyfriend is now husband, wonderful trail rides have ensued and much fun was had by all. Also, when husband observed the cross country portion of WEG, and decided that THAT was what he was going to do now- I was able to mind my own business while he wildly galloped his steady, post-legged, ranch-bred QH (outfitted in an old cutting saddle) at the hunter jumps. That wonderful horse performed the EXACT task I purchased him for- keep horse-retarded husband safe - and refused every jump quite politely.

    Even when husband asks for instruction, I politely decline and then purchase him a book or video (which he never reads or watches anyway). This prevents divorce.

    Tread carefully grasshopper. . . . .



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2010
    Location
    Birmingham area, AL... i.e. crispy crunchy everything land!
    Posts
    526

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by katarine View Post
    HIRE. IT. DONE.

    Been there done that still married to him but Dear Lord Jeezoos I'd rather change diapers on a tiger than EVER do it again.
    LMAO!!!! Kat, this is going on my list of funny COTH quotes.
    When life throws you lemons, put on your best Asian accent and scream "Faaack yuuuu Rehmooohns!" (says yours truly, the half-Japanese kid )

    My Pony Blog Dressage & My Horsey Life



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2007
    Location
    Burbank, California
    Posts
    721

    Default

    There is no WAY I would teach my DH ever. I would end up teaching Max the "dump him" command and using it.

    Before our honeymoon, which was going to be a lot of riding, I had him take lessons at our local lesson barn that had lots of lesson horses. Took him out and got him those Ariats that look a little like hiking boots, and a helmet to fit his (big fat) head

    It worked out really well! We had a blast riding and even when we were galloping down the beach he was fine.
    "Look, I'm trying not to test the durability of the arena with my face!" (Because only GM can do that.)



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan. 14, 2003
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    5,785

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GoForAGallop View Post
    Maybe all he wants to do is trail ride, in which you can just walk alongside your mare on the trails, or borrow a horse.
    This. Except you'll have to probably teach him at faster than a walk to get him hooked. He's not going to fall in love taking lessons in a ring.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    4,133

    Default

    My only advice is DON'T. I tried to teach Mr ddashaq many, many years ago and it did not go well. Find someone else to do it and your relationship will thank you!

    PinkChampagne and Katarine, you guys are funny!!



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug. 17, 2004
    Location
    Rixeyville, VA
    Posts
    6,557

    Default

    Mr. IF learned to ride while I was pregnant with IF Jr. He took lessons and rode with his own group for years. We do ride together, will discuss riding and will teach up downs together, but I am not his trainer and I don't try to be. I completely agree -- don't try to teach the to ride BF if you value the relationship.
    Where Norwegian Fjords Rule
    http://www.ironwood-farm.com



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan. 18, 2009
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    1,756

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jetsmom View Post
    If you want to still respect him, and have your relationship last- Find him an instructor (other than you).

    If you would like to get rid of him or would like to get even with him for past actions-teach him yourself.
    Ditto Ditto!
    Turn off the computer and go ride!



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul. 11, 2004
    Posts
    6,890

    Default

    Never teach a family member...ever.

    My wife wanted to learn to fly. I handed her the keys to my plane and introduced her to a good female instructor.

    She wanted to learn to ride...I handed her off to a good instructor.

    I suggest finding a male instructor (or another guy at the barn) and let him go ride. Try and find him a pair of chaps or leggings (cheap investment and handy to have). Keep it "guy"...or at least what guys who don't know about horses think is "the way a guy rides".

    Good luck.
    "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul. 21, 2006
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    5,003

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by katarine View Post
    HIRE. IT. DONE.
    These days, it's one of the few things one may still hire done and not worry afterward. Take advantage of the opportunity.

    Srsly, OP - you wouldn't consider teaching him to drive an automobile, would you? Same principles apply. Don't.go.there.

    I told my BFF this, when she wanted to teach her BF to ride. She ignored me, because BF was not sufficiently committed to the sport to go.take.lessons.plz.for.chrissake. and she figured he might continue riding if he could do it on his own horse, from home.

    BF is no longer riding, and thank doG she was able to unload the horse and tack. Anyway, I think willingness to take lessons is the first of the signposts on the road to I'm Not Just Doing This to Please my GF Land.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2008
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    246

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by katarine View Post
    HIRE. IT. DONE.

    Been there done that still married to him but Dear Lord Jeezoos I'd rather change diapers on a tiger than EVER do it again.
    Ditto this!!!

    I taught my husband to ride, but he wanted to play polocrosse so at practice he has the opportunity to get instruction from various other people. That helped a lot.

    My sister's boyfriend wants to learn to ride and I think she has the right idea.
    Step 1- Kid gentle, saint of a horse.
    Step 2- Help tack up. Primarily for the sake of the horse.
    Step 3- Go riding and (nicely) ignore boyfriend.

    Last time the three of us went riding we couldn't see her boyfriend for most of the ride. I asked if we should keep him in sight and she said if the horse comes back alone we will go back for him. Sounds harsh, but soooooooooooo much better than my method. Sister's boyfriend had a great ride and no arguing, although I credit the horse for his success.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2009
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkChampagnePony View Post
    DEFINITELY in agreement with Jetsmom!

    My advice- purchase cheap, SAFE horse and tack (and helmet). Advise boyfriend- "kick to go, pull to stop" and then go ride your horse and pay as little attention to boyfriend as possible while he zooms back and forth in straight lines for 20 minutes until he loses interest.

    This philosophy worked wonderfully for me. Boyfriend is now husband, wonderful trail rides have ensued and much fun was had by all. Also, when husband observed the cross country portion of WEG, and decided that THAT was what he was going to do now- I was able to mind my own business while he wildly galloped his steady, post-legged, ranch-bred QH (outfitted in an old cutting saddle) at the hunter jumps. That wonderful horse performed the EXACT task I purchased him for- keep horse-retarded husband safe - and refused every jump quite politely.

    Even when husband asks for instruction, I politely decline and then purchase him a book or video (which he never reads or watches anyway). This prevents divorce.

    Tread carefully grasshopper. . . . .
    LMAO!!!!!! One of the best posts I've read in a while



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jun. 15, 2001
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    1,116

    Default

    I've given my boyfriend some lessons on my beginner-tolerant mare. I've given lots of lessons to others, but I had to stop giving them to him. He is an intelligent, sensitive (but disciplined!), animal-savvy person who loves horses, but I'm always terrified for him and cannot keep my sh*t together.

    So we just trail ride with him on my BO's horse, and when we canter, I don't look.

    If he wants to do something more serious, or buy a horse, I will ask you all for recommendations. We're in Massachusetts.
    Disclaimer: My mom told me that people might look at my name and think I had an addiction other than horses. I don't; his name was Bravado.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Aug. 25, 2007
    Posts
    8,780

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trakehner View Post
    Never teach a family member...ever.

    My wife wanted to learn to fly. I handed her the keys to my plane and introduced her to a good female instructor.

    She wanted to learn to ride...I handed her off to a good instructor.

    I suggest finding a male instructor (or another guy at the barn) and let him go ride. Try and find him a pair of chaps or leggings (cheap investment and handy to have). Keep it "guy"...or at least what guys who don't know about horses think is "the way a guy rides".

    Good luck.
    Yeah, this.

    G.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jul. 24, 2006
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    5,416

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tartan View Post
    Who knows how long this phase will last (hopefully forever!) but I’m going to enable while I can
    Well I can answer that for you.

    The phase will last for as long as he's your boyfriend and end the instant he becomes your husband

    My hubby has a pair of chaps hanging in my tackroom from his 2 years of weekend riding (FTR, I taught him myself on my steady-eddy-greenbean and never had any problems with it). But the minute we passed the "courting" phase he went back to rock climbing and working out in the gym, never to look back again. Can't say I'm all that sad about it. I like having riding as "my own" thing!



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jul. 11, 2004
    Posts
    6,890

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PNWjumper View Post
    Can't say I'm all that sad about it. I like having riding as "my own" thing!
    I'll admit it...I like riding being my own. I do driving to share horses with Mrs. Trakehner. When she did take up riding, she fell off...almost died etc. etc. etc. and will never get on another horse's back (at least not until the divorce is final).

    I think riding with an SO who could really ride would be fun...having to babysit or worry about another adult would be a drag and would take a lot of the fun out of riding.
    "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"



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