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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    7,884

    Arrow I am a baby avoider

    Well, in my many years as a bartender I just didn't get too many babies around, KWIM? I am not infant friendly! They are cute IF they are a very close friends who doesn't expect me to hold the small human. I am not a gushy, maternally orientated female at all. Having a hoo-hoo does not predispose me to squealing at the sight of a small human.

    I also do not come across very many babies braiding in the wee hours at shows.

    Well, now that I have started my new job with a lot of employees, well, there are a lot with babies, baby pictures, etc.

    I need the general advice on avoiding. I thought my yelling "Oh how nice!!" over my shoulder while scrambling for the door was well played a few days ago but the father keeps foisting pics at me. HELP!
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2010
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    2,352

    Default

    I was also a baby-avoider prior to getting prego. I used to just smile and nod but people somehow knew not to ask if I wanted to hold their child - even now, there are only a few children I CHOOSE to hold LOL! I love kids, but I'm still not one to fawn all over a baby.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    7,884

    Default

    I would like to know how to get people not to ask. How did you do it?
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug. 21, 2009
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    870

    Default

    I too, avoid babies (ugh, well, and all children too...) like the plague. I don't really have any advice other than to (as kindly as you can) let them know that you don't like small children / aren't a baby person. Good luck, I feel for ya!
    Quote Originally Posted by RugBug View Post
    Don't throw away opportunities because they aren't coming in exactly the form you want them to.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug. 1, 2002
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    6,170

    Default

    First, I would suggest that you DO NOT click here...

    See....I told you.

    Next, I would suggest that you maybe get a job at a nursing home. Only there may be diapers and mushy food involved.

    Just face it - they are unavoidable and even worse....YOU used to be one.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
    Posts
    5,491

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    Corner the offending parent and deluge them with stories and pictures of your pets.

    I've also found I'm pretty good at faking phone calls. So far, no one's caught on to the fact that I'm speaking animatedly to a dial-tone.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
    Posts
    5,491

    Default

    Also try coughing a lot. I can sneeze on command - works wonders.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    May. 7, 2008
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    552

    Default

    Am another who is a baby avoider - unless I know the kid. But, I have the opposite problem - like a cat who knows who doesn't like cats - babies gravitate to me like the pied piper. They WANT me to hold them!
    And nothing bad happened!



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    7,884

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    Mara, I like it.

    Freebird, it's not that I hate babies, I don't. And, I like kids when their personalities develop. Besides, who else would I get to pull my finger?? But, the gushy cutesy look at the 5 million pics or worse new pic every day parents drive me bonkers. I also am not comfortable holding babies.

    I have 300 horse pics on my phone from Nationals, you don't see me foisting them onto innocent bystanders!
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 24, 2010
    Posts
    1,127

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Freebird! View Post
    First, I would suggest that you DO NOT click here...

    See....I told you.

    Next, I would suggest that you maybe get a job at a nursing home. Only there may be diapers and mushy food involved.

    Just face it - they are unavoidable and even worse....YOU used to be one.
    Are you offended that the OP doesn't like children? What's the problem.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug. 1, 2002
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    6,170

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    LOL, it's OK - I was just kidding - blame it on lack of sleep. I think Mara has a good idea of coughing - we new parents are all germaphobes. Really though, I hate everyone asking to hold my baby, and honestly, I can't imagine going up to someonme and asking if they want to hold her, or even look at pictures of her, unless I knew they would want to.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2005
    Location
    Australasia
    Posts
    1,134

    Default

    I'm allergic to babies Luckily I only know two babies at the moment and they live 7 and 2 hours away so I don't get to see them that often.

    I have pictures of my horses, dog and cat on my phone, if anyone were to start flashing baby pics around I'd do the same. Funnily enough, the lady I job-share with at one of my jobs is an animal finatic (sp?? looks wrong...) and I know when we catch up after the holidays we'll both spend ages gaga-ing at each other's phone pet snaps
    where am I, what day is it, am I still having a good time?



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec. 21, 2010
    Location
    Down South
    Posts
    810

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    I'm female and also have no patience/like of babies or kids. I feel your pain.

    If you're new, there's probably no getting around the initial picture-showing. But to prevent it in the future, start throwing in some 'I'm so glad my babies all have fur and four legs,' or just casually mention how their kids are cute, but you just have no patience/desire to be a parent yourself, etc. I normally remind people in my office I dislike kids on a weekly basis. 'And THAT'S why I never plan on having kids!' after someone recently mentioned their kids puking all over their truck.

    I usually disguise my comments as humor, and if someone wants to get all 'Oh, you haven't met the right man (Umm, woman, you mean?) yet, you'll grow out of it, once you have one it'll be different .. at which point I take a more serious tone and tell them the reasons why. They usually back off then.

    It won't always save you from people sharing photos with you (ask my office how many of them have seen the horses I ride) but on some level, you're probably always going to have to look at photos/hear stories that aren't always of interest to you. Be it kids, golf, hunting, engine swaps, paintball, etc. Smile politely, nod, and stick to non-committal phrases like 'Oh, that's nice/interesting.' And walk away quickly.
    The dude abides ...



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan. 12, 2008
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    986

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    I genuinely dislike kids. I am uncomfortable when someone brings a small child and inevitably expects you to ooh and ahh over it. I think babies smell like spoiled milk and they all seem to come out wrinkly and icky looking. Almost worse is when parents bring their kids (idk what age, but they're walking) to some place like a park or pool and all the kids do is scream and carry on and it's no fun for anybody. Why would anyone voluntarily put so much time and money into these things?
    Yes, I do have a maternal instinct...it's just on different species. Hence the reason I have an Italian Greyhound puppy who gets snuggled and dressed in little coats and all that jazz.
    If it were up to me I'd have my reproductive organs removed yesterday, but try finding a doctor willing to permanently sterilize someone in their early-mid 20s...
    Proud member of the "I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday" clique

    Former owner of the best Amish-carthorse-turned-eventer ever



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    7,884

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    No worries, Freebird I am glad you are a happy, loving new parent!

    Opus, I have the opposite problem. People see me never been married, childless female at 39 and assume I'm gay.
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
    Posts
    5,491

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    Quote Originally Posted by cleozowner View Post
    I genuinely dislike kids. I am uncomfortable when someone brings a small child and inevitably expects you to ooh and ahh over it. I think babies smell like spoiled milk and they all seem to come out wrinkly and icky looking. Almost worse is when parents bring their kids (idk what age, but they're walking) to some place like a park or pool and all the kids do is scream and carry on and it's no fun for anybody. Why would anyone voluntarily put so much time and money into these things?
    Yes, I do have a maternal instinct...it's just on different species. Hence the reason I have an Italian Greyhound puppy who gets snuggled and dressed in little coats and all that jazz.
    If it were up to me I'd have my reproductive organs removed yesterday, but try finding a doctor willing to permanently sterilize someone in their early-mid 20s...
    Keep looking. I had my tubes tied at 26 AND was single as well. It took me a while to find a doc who'd agree, and you NEED to be able to explain why you want it done in a rational, well-thought-out adult manner. "I hate children" or "Because I want to sleep around a lot" won't get you far.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Oct. 2, 2001
    Location
    Greenville, SC
    Posts
    4,132

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Freebird! View Post
    we new parents are all germaphobes.
    I'm a germaphobe too and that's exactly why I don't want to hold someone's baby!



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jun. 19, 2001
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    3,788

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    If they ask if you want to hold the baby, just tell them that you don't trust yourself after dropping that last one....

    Probably won't ask again....



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Aug. 1, 2002
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    6,170

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kestrel View Post
    If they ask if you want to hold the baby, just tell them that you don't trust yourself after dropping that last one....

    Probably won't ask again....


    ROFL!!! I think Kestrel just one the award for the best solution to OP's problem.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jan. 11, 2005
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,840

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    I was also a baby avoider prior to having my own! Even now, I prefer not to hold other people's infants...when they are older I like it, but for some reason I just get nervous holding strange little babies. But I couldn't put my own down!



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