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  1. #1
    Breakaway Alter Guest

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    I'm using an alter cause this is a controversial thing.

    My best friend and i have been riding together since we were little and we r both freshmen at college together this year. the school has a great riding program and we're having a lot of fun, and we both tried out for the IHSA riding team thing. Now we're both at about the same level, and have been using the same trainer forever. I made the team and she didn't, which we thought was weird because we had about identical rounds in the tryout. anyway we were both upset but it was just luck of the draw, right?

    okay well no. the trainers approached my best friend before her lesson and told her that she DID make the team, but she didn't have the right kind of body and there was a certain appearance that they needed to uphold, and she wouldn't place well because of her weight. where's the fruitbat???? okay my friend is chubby but she still rides great. i'm fuming because this is totally unfair. i can't believe that they would do this. i know that there's lots fo controversy about heavy people being placed lower, etc, but seriously we're not like trying to point chase on the A circuit.

    what do i do? i don't want to start anything, but this seems really unfair!!!



  2. #2
    Breakaway Alter Guest

    Default

    I'm using an alter cause this is a controversial thing.

    My best friend and i have been riding together since we were little and we r both freshmen at college together this year. the school has a great riding program and we're having a lot of fun, and we both tried out for the IHSA riding team thing. Now we're both at about the same level, and have been using the same trainer forever. I made the team and she didn't, which we thought was weird because we had about identical rounds in the tryout. anyway we were both upset but it was just luck of the draw, right?

    okay well no. the trainers approached my best friend before her lesson and told her that she DID make the team, but she didn't have the right kind of body and there was a certain appearance that they needed to uphold, and she wouldn't place well because of her weight. where's the fruitbat???? okay my friend is chubby but she still rides great. i'm fuming because this is totally unfair. i can't believe that they would do this. i know that there's lots fo controversy about heavy people being placed lower, etc, but seriously we're not like trying to point chase on the A circuit.

    what do i do? i don't want to start anything, but this seems really unfair!!!



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov. 3, 2003
    Posts
    1,693

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    I rhink it is really unfair. THere are a number of things you could do. First you could talk to the coach and then you could keep moving up the ladder. You could also write a letter to the school newspaper. Maybe your firends parents should be calling th ehead of the school.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar. 19, 2004
    Location
    NorCal
    Posts
    2,955

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    Whoa. This is not your issue. The best thing you can do is be a good friend to your buddy and support her in what she'd like to do about it.

    That said, the coach was WAY, WAY, WAY out of line to be so blunt with your friend. Perhaps they might have told her that the team was full at the moment, but they would consider again in future when there was an opening if she would make a commitment to losing a bit of weight.

    Maybe you could suggest to your friend that she go back to the coach and tell him/her that she would really like to make a commitment to losing weight and would like to be reconsidered in a month or two. Then suggest that she get in touch with the school physician to talk about a SENSIBLE weight loss and exercise plan. The worst thing she could do is to go on a crash diet to lose the weight and end up weakened or ill.

    She's really fortunate to have such a caring friend!



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec. 29, 2003
    Location
    Long Branch, NJ 07740
    Posts
    794

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    Hate to ask what school so I won't, but my daughter just went through a similar situation at her college.
    She was very upset that she did not make it (and she could stand to lose a few pounds herself, but I wasn't there so I don't know what everyone else looked like).
    I told her the same thing I'll tell you: it can be a little cliquish in the horse world, as we all know. I encouraged her to work out a bit to get fit and to speak to the girls who picked the team, because they also give lessons to the team members and hopefuls, and let them know that she really wanted to know what she could do to be considered in the spring tryout.
    At her school, she can still take a lesson a week even though she did not make it, and I am hoping that if she makes friends with some of the people, and they see she is serious in trying to do whatever she can to work and make the team next semester, than that is really all that can be done.
    I don't think rocking th boat will help--it'll only get people talking and cause alienation.
    I do think your people could use a little lesson in being tactful, though, but what can you do? Hang in there, work at it, and good luck.
    Turning For Home, Inc.
    Philadelphia Park Racehorse Retirement Program
    www.patha.org
    turningforhome@patha.org



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb. 13, 2000
    Location
    VA, but visitor to Garrison & Toronto
    Posts
    13,792

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    I did quite a bit of IHSA in college, but had periods where I wasn't brought "on the road". I was riding in a Kip Rosenshal clinic and she yelled over to my coach, in front of everyone, including a spectating gallery, and asked her why I hadn't been at the show the previous week. My coach yelled back that I had to lose 15 lbs and then she'd bring me on the road again. Talk about mortifying. And this was MANY years ago.
    \"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and, once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed.\" -- Ralph Waldo E



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct. 6, 2002
    Location
    Philadelphia PA
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    18,223

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    IHSA ca be very cliquey and weird. Or it can be a wonderful experience. It really depends what school you ride for and what zone you're in. The truth is that some schools are very competitive and some zones have judges that only like to pin types. It is ridiculous and MASSIVELY unfair. In those zones/ school, if you want to WIN, you sometimes have to play that game. I personally think it's ridiculous and I'd much rather ride for a fun team that picks good riders than for a winning team that picks "the look." But sometimes that's just how it goes. I am sorry for your friend. I hope she can find another outlet to ride.

    ~Veronica
    ~Veronica
    "The Son Dee Times" "Sustained" "Somerset" "Franklin Square"
    http://photobucket.com/albums/y192/vxf111/



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec. 6, 2003
    Location
    Horse Country, USA
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    Maybe the FACT- and not expressed or expressed in a kind way- that one's waiting was keeping one from making the team.

    But she MADE it and they TOLD her and didn't let her on because of her weight. Unacceptable.

    The best course of action for the school, IMHO, would have been to tell her she could be on but would have to lose some weight- expressed in a kind, caring way, because riding is a sport and MANY sports teams have requirments for the fitness of their athletes. But there is a proper way to go about doing it.
    <><



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct. 23, 2002
    Location
    NC
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    404

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    Man, that coach is a complete jerk.

    She could have taken your friend on the team, then worked with her on an exercise and diet program to help reduce her weight.

    Based on this story, I'd have to say this person isn't much of a coach.
    **charter member Alligator Arms Clique**



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun. 19, 2003
    Location
    Delaware
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    840

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    Ok, I have to interject my 2 cents since I'm one of those in the "pleasantly plump" clique (if there is one)... That is completely wrong ... By no means should she not be placed on the team because of her weight. If she's a capable rider, than she has a right to be on that team. And, in response to your "its not like we're chasing points on the A circuit", I don't think that should matter either. I mean, shyt, its bad enough in order to do anything on the circuit you have to have a never ending checkbook, but to be pencil thin too? I'm sorry, I'd rather be healthy and happy. Denying someone a place on the college team for weight is a blow to the self esteem, that's ridiculous. Did anyone else hear this comment be made to her? I believe she should step up and express this situation to a higher up at the school. Not necessarily to get on the team, but for the school officials to know what's going on. Just my 2 cents, sorry ...

    ~!~ Ten ~!~



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun. 23, 2002
    Location
    Tupelo,Ms. USA
    Posts
    167

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    O.K. I've had it with the "chubby girl can't ride" crap!!! I looked every where to find a pic of a girl named Debbie Patterson, she shows cutting horses and is really short and chubby. But all you tall skinny girls haven't won 1.4 million as a NON-PRO!!!! If you go to a really big cutting horse show you can bet shes' gonna take your money!!! Can ride the hair off a horse!!! I bet no one tells HER shes to fat to ride!!!!



  12. #12
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2001
    Location
    Gilbert, AZ
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    2,226

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    Given all the problems with anorexia etc., that coach is totally out of line, and I would tell her where to put her team! Seriously, I would not ride for someone with views like that, and would definitely take the issue further.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb. 27, 2003
    Location
    Kentucky
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    2,516

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    AND WE WONDER WHY OUR 'SPORT' IS IN DANGER! ( http://chronicleforums.com/groupee/f...31&m=146208183 )And no, my caps lock wasn't stuck. To say absolutely nothing about the self esteem of our young girls.

    Good god. Words fail me. If I were this child's parents I would land on that coach, and that school like a turd from a tall cow's a$$ - with hob nail boots.

    And as far as I can tell, no one on this board, with the exception of the OP has even seen a photo of this girl. How dare anyone suggest she enter into an exercise program or lose weight? To please a smug, sanctimonious, two bit, insensitive, cruel, egotistical riding coach? Who died and left him/her GOD?

    I'm sorry, but this pushed 99.5 of my 100 available buttons!
    "The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear" ~ Socrates



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun. 1, 2003
    Location
    The Shake and Bake State
    Posts
    11,537

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    WOW, and people wonder why there are so many girl out there SUFFERING from anorexia/bulemia or over eating. Both can be brought on by depression/pressure and constantly hearing comments about weight, whether it be over or under. Things like that really don't help. I agree, if they had let her on the team and them said, in a NICE WAY, that she needed to shed some pounds, FINE. But!!!! It seems as though they were trying to motivate her in a very demeaning way and THAT is not motivation, THAT is humiliation. I am so sorry for her and I wish there was something I could say, in the form of advice, to help. That just sickens me.
    ~Amy~ TrakehNERD clique
    *Bugs 5/86-3/10 OTTB Mare* RIP lovely Lady, I miss you
    *Frodo '03 Anglo Trakehner Gelding*
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  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec. 2, 2001
    Location
    Austin,Texas
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    I agree w/ Akrogirl. That coach should not be coaching at a college. Eating disorders are not something to be taken lightly. Just ask Christy Heinrich's mother. Christy was an elite gymnast who was told that if she lost some weight, she would have made the team. BTW she wasn't fat. She looked perfectly fine. Christi took this to heart and died some years later, weighing 50 something pounds. If that was the reason for the coach's decision than she shouldn't have said anything. Does she not know what turmoil she could be adding to that girl's life? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...s/icon_mad.gif



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Apr. 24, 2002
    Location
    Upper Peninsula, MI
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    1,737

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    Wow what a terrible coach. I would never ride for someone who was that rude to another rider. I hope that the girl and her parents take this to the IHSA and the school. By no means should this coach be allowed to get away with doing this to riders.
    -Tami-

    [Paint It Black - "Kiddo"]



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Aug. 22, 2004
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    229

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    What about the judges? Surely horse show judges must bear some of the responsibility for perpetuating the idea that only a certain body type is acceptable for equitation. I imagine that is the pressure this coach is caving to? Coach was definitely way out of line in the way it was presented, and shame on coach for not rewarding a strong,effective rider regardless of 15 lbs. Really, would 15 lbs make that much difference in a rider's "look"?

    Not possessing an equitation body myself, I grew very accustomed to not placing well in the eq classes as a junior, despite the fact I could produce the trips and did fine in the hunter divisions. I see things haven't changed at all!!

    Very good luck to you and your friend in college.
    ------------------------------
    \"I ride because the partnership with horses fills my mind with perfections of cadence and rhythmic excitement and intensities of communion.\" Dick Francis




  18. #18
    Join Date
    Apr. 25, 2003
    Location
    the lovely bristol VA/TN
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    711

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    That is really awful. I can see how there may be certain "types" that judges will pin more often, but still, if the girl is a good rider and isn't so overweight that it adversly affects the way she rides, her weight shouldn't even be an issue. there's no better way to start, or re-start an eating disorder in someone than a comment like that.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Apr. 11, 2002
    Location
    East Tennessee
    Posts
    589

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    Just a question. Is this rider 'fit'. She may ride well enough to be on the team, but is she fit enough to compete? I see those as two different things.

    Certainly the coach was insensitive, on the other hand, the truth is the truth. If she needs to cut back on the groceries, exercise, and get fit to compete [not just ride] then that is her choice to do. But if she is fit and just chunky and he simply wants pretty riders to win, cream his behind and fry it.

    I have lost 25 lbs and have many more to go. I was a good rider but am way too heavy now to be effective. EQ



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Apr. 24, 2004
    Posts
    77

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    I can't believe that some of you would actually suggest that the actions of this school and the team coach were acceptable. Or that you would encourage this girl to look the other way. A college or university is not the place for such intolerant behavior and I would bet that if it does condone such actions it isn't a very good school.



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