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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 27, 2008
    Posts
    273

    Default Family Vent

    I am SO happy there is an OT day!
    I know there are others out there that have rotten family members... I SWEAR next Christmas even I'm staying at the barn.
    I really am trying to not be a grinch and be joyfull in the season and all that...
    BUT...
    sometimes I really... STRONGLY dislike my relatives.
    How about we start a family venting thread??
    A place to get out all the nastiness, so we can face the rest of the Holidays with a smile?
    ....... pausing



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep. 23, 2009
    Posts
    573

    Default

    MY family doesn't irritate me. Especially since they are four states away.

    My monster-in-law...um, sorry, mother-in-law, on the other hand, is driving me batty.

    This year, she sent a gift for my husband, and him only. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't need any gifts. We have everything we need. However, it would be nice to be acknowledged!

    My MIL and I were very good friends and riding buddies before I married her son. Now, i'm persona non grata. Or that is how it seems to me. She goes out of her way not to speak to me, and when she does, all I hear about is how my critters aren't being treated right, doing right, of course your horse is lame, you don't take proper care of it, etc, etc. She has turned into a person who is a master at making you feel like crap.

    So, from here on out, I am not letting her make me feel like crap. She has a problem. It's not MY problem, so she can keep it. If my husband wants her to have a gift, he can mail it. I will continue to worry about his father, grandfather, and other family members. But he can deal with his mother.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun. 18, 2007
    Posts
    4,009

    Default

    It still frosts me at times that when our mother - OUR mother, as in mother to me AND EQUALLY to my siblings - is institutionalized and going rapidly downhill, that I am the one who goes every single week to visit, the one who sends out family updates regularly, the one who has tried at every step to include them and keep them informed, the one who has asked several times from right after her placement on what mementos anybody would want, the one who spent TWO FREAKING YEARS sorting Mom's unsorted jumbled boxes of photos of intermixed decades, digitalizing them all, labeling them, and recently sent everybody copies of the master picture disk, while they:

    -- Visit almost never. "It's depressing," said one brother (who lives no further than I do and has been once in 2010, that time under duress). Gee, thanks for telling me that, never would have noticed it myself.

    -- Communicate almost never. Never want to talk about her, never respond to updates, never seem to want to share in the process, and, when we rarely do get together, would much rather discuss models of cars than our parent.

    -- Come up with lines TWO YEARS after her placement like, "Whatever happened to XYZ? I really wanted that. I can't believe you just (donated it to Goodwill/took it yourself/sold it on Ebay)."

    -- Do not acknowledge receipt of packages such as the master picture disk with thousands of rare and irreplaceable family images spanning 80 years.

    -- Occasionally pop out with lines like, "Really, XYZ happened? When? How? Where? Why didn't you tell me?" when XYZ was mentioned multiple times to them.

    Sigh. I get it, folks. I hate seeing her like this, too, and believe it or not, I don't drive 200 miles round trip every weekend for the fun of it and often don't enjoy those visits. But she is OUR mother. A little more sense of family togetherness in this would be appreciated.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2003
    Posts
    18,472

    Default

    Dressagetraks, I am so sorry... Such a tough time for you. I hope your family sees the value in your dedication and gives you a hand soon... They need a wake up call
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec. 7, 2010
    Posts
    598

    Default

    I am always frustrated by my inlaws... I can hardly stand them...



    makes for a crappy Christmas. They'll be over on Christmas morning, when all I wanna do is sit in bed and drink coffee.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul. 3, 2010
    Location
    Franconia NH
    Posts
    419

    Default

    I always enjoy visiting with my mother and we enjoy it a lot. She only lives two hours away so we are able to visit often. It is sometimes distressing because it seems like since my dad died my mother is obsessed with politics and anti liberal talk, anti welfare, anti illiegal alien. Sometimes I feel like we could talk about other stuff



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug. 25, 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    769

    Default

    My sister lives 10 minutes from me. I've seen her ONCE in 2 years. She told me (via Facebook) that she's too busy to get together until after New Years.

    My parents live in Florida. I talk to them about 5 times a year. Last conversation was very stressed and they act like I don't even exist. My mother didn't even send me a birthday card.

    I told my mom I was moving to her state early next year and a little further into the conversation my mom mentioned maybe coordinating trying to see me *here* on her next visit (usually around June). I said "Mom, I'll be in Florida next time you come up." Her response: "Oh."
    Whoever said money can't buy happiness never owned a horse.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug. 25, 2008
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,051

    Default

    We have one, a cousin, who is simply the most irritating person I've ever met. He monopolizes the conversation for HOURS, and you simply cannot get him to shut up (about his old cars, his baseball habit, etc. He is argumentative, knows more than anyone about anything, and is seriously a PITA). But he's lonely, and I understand that, so we always invite him. He has several old cars that are always in various stages of disrepair, though, and cannot get down this year, so the eldest son (who lives near him) was expected to invite him for dinner.

    He refused, and I am beyond pissed at him. He can't endure a few hours of uncomfortableness for a lonely old man who has nowhere else to go on Christmas Day? He is too far for us to run up there and pick him up (if he wouldn't have pulled this just late last night we would have gone up yesterday).

    So now we have TWO irritating relatives.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 27, 2008
    Posts
    273

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dressagetraks View Post
    It still frosts me at times that when our mother - OUR mother, as in mother to me AND EQUALLY to my siblings - is institutionalized and going rapidly downhill, that I am the one who goes every single week to visit, the one who sends out family updates regularly, the one who has tried at every step to include them and keep them informed, the one who has asked several times from right after her placement on what mementos anybody would want, the one who spent TWO FREAKING YEARS sorting Mom's unsorted jumbled boxes of photos of intermixed decades, digitalizing them all, labeling them, and recently sent everybody copies of the master picture disk, while they:

    -- Visit almost never. "It's depressing," said one brother (who lives no further than I do and has been once in 2010, that time under duress). Gee, thanks for telling me that, never would have noticed it myself.

    -- Communicate almost never. Never want to talk about her, never respond to updates, never seem to want to share in the process, and, when we rarely do get together, would much rather discuss models of cars than our parent.

    -- Come up with lines TWO YEARS after her placement like, "Whatever happened to XYZ? I really wanted that. I can't believe you just (donated it to Goodwill/took it yourself/sold it on Ebay)."

    -- Do not acknowledge receipt of packages such as the master picture disk with thousands of rare and irreplaceable family images spanning 80 years.

    -- Occasionally pop out with lines like, "Really, XYZ happened? When? How? Where? Why didn't you tell me?" when XYZ was mentioned multiple times to them.

    Sigh. I get it, folks. I hate seeing her like this, too, and believe it or not, I don't drive 200 miles round trip every weekend for the fun of it and often don't enjoy those visits. But she is OUR mother. A little more sense of family togetherness in this would be appreciated.
    I think we might be related... your siblings sound an awful lot like mine.
    2 Christmases ago my Mom was in the hospital with pneumonia over Christmas... Not one of my GDGFN siblings could be bothered to go and visit her... several years before that she had 2 major surgeries within 2 weeks of each other over Christmas & New years.. same thing. GDGFN siblings couldn't be bothered. Stopped by the house to check on my Dad and not one of them (Sister & her family were living with my parents at the time) could even be bothered to do the fricken dishes from 3 days before when she was rushed back to the hospital.
    Oh, and NONE of them visited her then either.
    The latest... This year DB (dear brother) brings his rotten daughters over... and the 14 year old has a facial piercing?
    I must be "old school" but what kind of parent lets their 14 get a facial piercing? Seriously????
    I cannot stand these kids & the lack of the most basic and I mean BASIC of manners.
    LICKING the plate??? Are you friggin serious?! Next year I swear I am not spending my hard earned money on them, for SQUAT...
    Now a needy child is going to have food & clothing... a needy animal with have food and vet care... Merry Christmas girls... maybe just MAYBE it will teach them something. but I doubt it... and that is so sad.
    ....... pausing



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