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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2001
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    On the Highway to Hell
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    84

    Default What would you think if your boyfriend said this?

    My good friend Vicky called me yesterday and she was very upset. She and her boyfriend of about a year were talking and he was being a bit of a sarky prat. His response to everything she said was, "Whatever". After the 5th or 6th "whatever", she made the comment, "I wish that the word 'whatever' was banned from the dictionary". She said it as a bit of a joke to let him know that "whatever" was getting old. He turned around and told her, "Well, you know what I wish was banned from the dictionary? The words, 'I Love You'. They cause nothing but problems."

    Needless to say, she was taken quite aback and didn't say anything. He smugly said, "Well that sure made you quiet now didn't it?" When she told him that hurt, his comment was, "Here you go again, making something out of nothing." That only upset her more. He didn't apologize, or take any responsibility for the fact that his comment was hurtful. He made her out to be the bad guy for reacting. I think his comment was wrong, but I'm biased as she's my best friend.

    Was she being overly sensitive, or was he being an @$$hole? Opinions?



  2. #2
    Join Date
    May. 25, 2001
    Location
    Queens, NY
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    1,997

    Default

    He's a douche.

    Her comment was completely juvenile and passive-aggressive (she should have just said "knock it off" if that's what she wanted), but that doesn't excuse his complete callous rudeness. He was obviously pleased to hurt her feelings, which is probably one of the nastiest personality traits out there.

    Life's too short to live with that cr*p.
    Proud Member: Bull-snap Haters Clique, Michigan Clique, and Appaloosa Clique!



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2006
    Posts
    1,871

    Default

    He was being an A$$.

    Knowing nothing about your friend, I still am pretty certain that she can do better. He either needs to grow up or get therapy, but he does not sound like someone she should invest any more of her time in...



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 1999
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    CA
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    3,228

    Default

    They sound very young.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan. 30, 2007
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    3,155

    Default

    Okay, I read the OP`s comment to my DSO. He asked if the guy still had a set of testicles and is still sleeping in the house. He feel that answers to those questions should be no, and that his comment was deliberately hurtful and a low blow.
    Dee
    Founder of the I LOFF my worrywart TB clique!
    Official member of the "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique
    http://wilddiamondintherough.blogspot.ca/



  6. #6
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    Mar. 10, 2009
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    5,550

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DeeThbd View Post
    Okay, I read the OP`s comment to my DSO. He asked if the guy still had a set of testicles and is still sleeping in the house. He feel that answers to those questions should be no, and that his comment was deliberately hurtful and a low blow.
    Dee
    Perfectly said.

    What would I think if a BF said that to me? I'd think it was time to excise a certain individual from my life. That sort of behavior indicates something in his nature that's rather dark and disturbing.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2003
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    18,472

    Default

    Is he 12?
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Packing my bags
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    32,618

    Default

    Time to take the trash out.

    Your friends best bet is to go and have a look at his father. If she finds him objectionable she better run fast in the other direction. the situation is bad now, I doubt it gets better.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov. 22, 2003
    Location
    Virginia
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    7,136

    Default

    That comment was designed to hurt, as was his follow-up. The "whatever"s were pretty nasty, too.



  10. #10
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    May. 10, 2009
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    NC piedmont
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    Default

    If MY boyfriend said this what I would be thinking is that he is going to be finding himself a new girlfriend.



  11. #11
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    Jan. 1, 2008
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    4,873

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by stonzthrow View Post
    His response to everything she said was, "Whatever". After the 5th or 6th "whatever", she made the comment, "I wish that the word 'whatever' was banned from the dictionary".
    Ya know, after about the 3rd "whatever," I would have just left him alone. To me, that says he's not going to talk today.

    What is it with women that they have to harp and harp over something when a guy is clearly not interested in having that particular conversation at that moment? Men don't think and communicate like we do - they're pretty simple creatures, really. Quit overthinking everything and get over it.



  12. #12
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    Aug. 19, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Go Fish View Post
    What is it with women that they have to harp and harp over something when a guy is clearly not interested in having that particular conversation at that moment?
    Testicles don't come with a license to be an asshole. JMHO.
    Please don't sabotash my conchess.



  13. #13
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    May. 24, 2009
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    Often as not, the inside of an airplane
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    As one who knows - yes he was being a turd.

    She needs to leave him be for a few days - just be 'unavailable'... If he was just being pissy (and male "PMS" is FAR worse than women's) in a few days A) he'll either wander around like nothing's ever happened (men - short memory for such little incidents) or B) she might want to reassess the relationship.
    Eternal Earth-Bound Pets Independent Contractor.


    All I want is to know WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHICKEN???



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
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    An American Living In Ireland
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    5,658

    Default

    Kick him to the curb. He is not worth it.

    Terri
    COTH, keeping popcorn growers in business for years.

    "I need your grace to remind me to find my own." Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars. This line reminds me why I have horses.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2006
    Location
    Jefferson, OR
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    799

    Default

    I agree with GoFish.

    I am dating an "A-hole" (for 7 years, now). I knew he was an A-hole before we started dating. I happen to be one of those girls who likes A-holes (*shrug*). 99% of the time, he's great. The other 1%, I can tell when he is in a "mood," and I have learned that the best thing to do is to say, "great, we'll talk tomorrow when you're in a better mood." And then I LEAVE HIM ALONE.

    Some guys are just not going to be the sensitive, talk-it-out types. Some guys will never change. Your friend has to decide if she can live with it or not, and if she can't, she needs to move on.

    In general, sensitive females shouldn't be with A-hole guys. People kind of need a mates that match their personality. Birds of a feather and all that....



  16. #16
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    Mar. 24, 2010
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    1,132

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    A. They sound very young.

    B. Why she she insist on pushing it with him when he obviously wasn't interested in talking?

    C. They will break up. The sooner the better for both of them. There seems to be no mass to their relationship at all.

    and D. What's with the stupid mind games? Just go separate ways.. no use wasting time on a relationship that's going nowhere. It's a very obvious answer. Ignoring him for a few days, blaming the GUY for his (annoying sounding) GF's behaviors.. there is no point to that. If it's that hard in the first place.. it's not meant to be.



  17. #17
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    Mar. 24, 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haalter View Post
    Testicles don't come with a license to be an asshole. JMHO.
    And women can be just as bitchy and annoying and irrational. Two lane road.



  18. #18
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    Mar. 24, 2010
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Go Fish View Post

    What is it with women that they have to harp and harp over something when a guy is clearly not interested in having that particular conversation at that moment? Men don't think and communicate like we do - they're pretty simple creatures, really. Quit overthinking everything and get over it.
    Right?! These 'women' are seriously giving the rest of us an awful reputation and very bad name! No wonder they aren't taken seriously. They don't deserve to be!



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Oct. 1, 2010
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    22

    Default

    Not wanting to talk about feelings? Normal. Being kind of a jerk when pestered to talk about feelings? Maybe a lack of maturity, but pretty par for the course for many guys, especially young ones. And yep, some men (and women) are assholes.

    But this is not an issue of being an asshole. This guy is not just being a jerk.

    The first comment was intended to hurt and humiliate her, the second was intended to put her in her place, and the third was meant to make her feel as though the whole thing were her fault. This was a power play. This is how abusive dynamics begin.

    Your friend is not being overly sensitive. She needs to get out. Now. Leave the trash on the curb.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov. 9, 2005
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    uk
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    15,278

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by stonzthrow View Post
    My good friend Vicky called me yesterday and she was very upset. She and her boyfriend of about a year were talking and he was being a bit of a sarky prat. His response to everything she said was, "Whatever". After the 5th or 6th "whatever", she made the comment, "I wish that the word 'whatever' was banned from the dictionary". She said it as a bit of a joke to let him know that "whatever" was getting old. He turned around and told her, "Well, you know what I wish was banned from the dictionary? The words, 'I Love You'. They cause nothing but problems."

    Needless to say, she was taken quite aback and didn't say anything. He smugly said, "Well that sure made you quiet now didn't it?" When she told him that hurt, his comment was, "Here you go again, making something out of nothing." That only upset her more. He didn't apologize, or take any responsibility for the fact that his comment was hurtful. He made her out to be the bad guy for reacting. I think his comment was wrong, but I'm biased as she's my best friend.

    Was she being overly sensitive, or was he being an @$$hole? Opinions?
    tell her to say bye and whatever lol



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