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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 22, 2000
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    14,886

    Default Holiday Cooking Disasters

    Now that it's too late to jinx anybody's meal, who has had a holiday dinner go horribly awry?

    The one that springs to mind for me happened twenty-odd years ago. Until that year, my mother had always prepared the classic holiday feast with all the trimmings. My father and siblings and I helped, but we always took it for granted that the big meal would appear on the table and be delicious.

    That changed the year my sister was expecting a baby in late November, and my mother went to visit her and help with the new baby. The rest of us figured we could pull off the Thanksgiving dinner at home on our own, since we had observed my mother's methods for years.

    Hoo boy. Were we ever mistaken. Even with a scaled down, simplified menu, it was pretty pathetic. Not only was the food nowhere near as good as usual, but none of us realized how tricky it was to have everything ready at the same time. Usually in the worst case scenario, you can slather everything in gravy, but even the gravy was terrible.

    Suffice it to say, we never took my mother's cooking skills for granted again at the holidays!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2003
    Location
    Hollywood, but not the one where they have the Oscars!
    Posts
    7,011

    Default

    Disates= Disasters????
    "You can't really debate with someone who has a prescient invisible friend"
    carolprudm



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 22, 2000
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    14,886

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mroades View Post
    Disates= Disasters????
    It's not easy to post from my phone.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2003
    Location
    Hollywood, but not the one where they have the Oscars!
    Posts
    7,011

    Default

    you could do a spinoff...phone communicating disasters...lol
    "You can't really debate with someone who has a prescient invisible friend"
    carolprudm



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
    Posts
    5,360

    Default

    Well, there was the year my sister decided to bake a pie from scratch. She, of course, was used to her oven, which was different from Mom's newish one.

    The baking instructions said to bake for X amount of time, then turn the oven off and let the pie hang out in there for another half hour or so.

    Istead of turning the oven off, she turned it to "Clean". Which, as some of you may know, raises the temperature to about 150,000 degrees AND locks the oven door. You cannot unlock and open until the clean cycle is complete.

    So my sister runs in the living room yelling hysterically, "I f@^$ed up! I F*#(ed up! I'm gonna burn the house down!"

    Needless to say, she didn't burn the house down, but, oh my god, that poor little pie. Or what was left of it - it looked like a lump of coal!



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep. 7, 2009
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    16,794

    Default

    One Christmas, my MIL volunteered to cook the turkey at my house. She encased the turkey completely in foil. At some point, the heat built up, foil expanded to it's breaking point, grease spouted out and caught the oven on fire. We had to put it out with flour. So, no turkey, no oven. We ended up with steak for dinner on the grill (grilling in the snow at 15 degrees, fun). Actually, it was delicious, but not the same as the turkey I was expecting. Had to buy a new oven, too.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    8,185

    Default

    My SIL never learned to cook. One year her entire family decided to do the real Thanksgiving dinner routine, and her assignment was pecan pies. Do you know what happens when you put the syrupy pecan pie filling in a store bought graham cracker pie crust and then the syrup soaks into the crust, plus you over cook it? Yes, cement pie crust the dog couldn't even get through, and the dog didn't even try after one attempted bite. Her family cooked so seldom that she didn't even know you preheat the oven. She asked for the 'recipe' for frozen french fries because hers came out limp and pale. That's when I found out she didn't know you preheat to the proper temperature, so she was basically just defrosting the poor fries.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 5, 2002
    Location
    way out west
    Posts
    3,087

    Default

    I made a lemon meringue pie from scratch, trying to be terribly impressive for my new in-laws, only I forgot to put the sugar in it. It looked beautiful, and everyone took a bite, and then the puckery faces appeared as people tasted my horrible pie.

    I still haven't lived that one down. For many Thanksgivings the joke was to assign pies to anyone but ME.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2008
    Location
    Deschapelles, Haiti
    Posts
    2,343

    Default

    The guests just left from my Thanksgiving dinner - 5 other resident North Americans plus the housemate of one of them. The Medical Director and the Physical Plant Manager were both so wiped out from weeks of constant work that they begged off.

    I had no real disasters in the cooking. However, we have a tradition that everyone helps wash dishes after Saturday events. Two guys start washing dishes at my kitchen sink aanndd- the very simple plumbing that has been slow but operating well all day suddenly decides to shut down despite the drain guards. We have no drainage at all, opaque water standing in the sink, and huge stacks of greasy plates and pots. We know the shower drain will clog in a minute if we use that because the plumbing there is even simpler. We decide to pre-wash the gunk off in cold water buckets outside under the porch light so the ants don't take over my kitchen, and then have said PP Director fix the plumbing in the morning.

    One lady says 'I'll get the door' - and doesn't look to see that the slide latch is closed. She pulls the door, not hard - but that makes the termite-eaten screen door jamb completely come loose of the wall in her face. Um, whoops? (At least the real door is steel set into concrete!)

    Two other folks are the outgoing and new finance director. I think they'll OK the last expenses to fix up the house I'm supposed to be moving to, which is why repairs on this one have been delayed.

    Rather a memorable end to Thanksgiving dinner, to have the kitchen coming apart at the seams around you!
    HAS provides hospital care to 340,000 people in Haiti's Artibonite Valley 24/7/365/earthquake/cholera/whatever.
    www.hashaiti.org blog:http://hashaiti.org/blog



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb. 28, 2006
    Location
    The rocky part of KY
    Posts
    9,160

    Default

    Oh Gosh, we've never had the food be bad but we have eaten at midnight before, and HiH reminds me of the time the plumbing in the WHOLE HOUSE stopped up just as we were beginning the process of dishwashing, so the last hour or two of the visit was nothing but bailing buckets of greasy water and crashing around in the stickery landscaping, in the dark, at the clean out, trying to get whatever it was to budge so we could at least use the toilets. We did get it done enough for the drains to work slowly and then the rooter guy came out and pulled out miles of stickery landscaping roots the next day. I can't remember what we had for dinner at all but I sure remember the drains.

    Oh yeah. One year we'd bought a half lamb from a friend and were
    enjoying it weekly but were waiting for the Thanksgiving turkey - and mom's big surprise? A leg of lamb. I'm afraid I was quite the ingrate that time.
    Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
    Incredible Invisible



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2008
    Location
    Deschapelles, Haiti
    Posts
    2,343

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ReSomething View Post
    Oh Gosh, we've never had the food be bad but we have eaten at midnight before, and HiH reminds me of the time the plumbing in the WHOLE HOUSE stopped up just as we were beginning the process of dishwashing, so the last hour or two of the visit was nothing but bailing buckets of greasy water and crashing around in the stickery landscaping, in the dark, at the clean out, trying to get whatever it was to budge so we could at least use the toilets. We did get it done enough for the drains to work slowly and then the rooter guy came out and pulled out miles of stickery landscaping roots the next day. I can't remember what we had for dinner at all but I sure remember the drains.
    Yep, that tops my tale. I'm suspecting that at my house as well, tree roots are the, you know,






    ROOT CAUSE!
    HAS provides hospital care to 340,000 people in Haiti's Artibonite Valley 24/7/365/earthquake/cholera/whatever.
    www.hashaiti.org blog:http://hashaiti.org/blog



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb. 16, 2008
    Posts
    959

    Default

    Not a complete disaster, but a near one...the last thanksgiving at my house (until this year) the turkey was in the oven finishing up, and we were beginning the stove top items, when one of them boiled over...which proceeded to catch the burner and the underneath on fire!! We grabbed the pot away and threw flour, a towel, whatever we had on hand to put the fire out...luckily the turkey was done, but all other items had to be heated in the microwave..thank goodness we had that..even though it took longer to finish the gravy, peas, etc...we eventually had dinner - and managed to eat through the stinky smokey smell...and that was the year we had no working toilet downstairs due to the actual tree root growing in our pipes..literally, when they pulled the toilet off the roots were coming up through the floor!
    Great memories!



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb. 28, 2006
    Location
    The rocky part of KY
    Posts
    9,160

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HorsesinHaiti View Post
    Yep, that tops my tale. I'm suspecting that at my house as well, tree roots are the, you know,






    ROOT CAUSE!
    http://www.audiomicro.com/drum-roll-...-effects-32516
    Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
    Incredible Invisible



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