[heatherny2]

So, my 15 yr old has friends who drive...tonight he is going to the beach with one who is 18...I did the inquisition..he got a speeding ticket once for going 81 in a 45!!! (at least he was honest) Talked to him, he seemed responsible, drives a safe 4 door car...but I still worry..constantly..about him being with other kids who drive...I have heard, too many times, about the tragic consequences...as much as I worry about him when he gets his license, I worry about him being with others who drive.
Oh, the horrors of being the mother of a teen...any other commiserators?

[BelladonnaLily]

How far away is the beach? We have pretty strict rules about who our children can ride with. My oldest daughter is 17 and drives, and we strictly adhere to the rule of only one non-family member in the car with her. We've found that many parents don't, and that makes our job harder. Once I found my daughter in town with an extra kid, whose parents don't really seem to care where they drop her off and with whom, and I had to call her dad to come get her.

So, I would say that unless the beach is 30 minutes or less away, I don't think I'd send my 15yo out with an 18yo that has already gotten a reckless driving speeding ticket! How many other kids will be in the car? How late will they be on the road? All things to consider....

Our local high school loses at least one kid a year to drunken and/or reckless driving and we take driving privileges very seriously.

[Alagirl]

How far away is the beach? We have pretty strict rules about who our children can ride with. My oldest daughter is 17 and drives, and we strictly adhere to the rule of only one non-family member in the car with her. We've found that many parents don't, and that makes our job harder. Once I found my daughter in town with an extra kid, whose parents don't really seem to care where they drop her off and with whom, and I had to call her dad to come get her.

So, I would say that unless the beach is 30 minutes or less away, I don't think I'd send my 15yo out with an 18yo that has already gotten a reckless driving speeding ticket! How many other kids will be in the car? How late will they be on the road? All things to consider....

Our local high school loses at least one kid a year to drunken and/or reckless driving and we take driving privileges very seriously.

All of the above.

We had a bad week here in the general area, 3 teens being killed in car accidents this past week. all riding in cars with other teens or driving themselves.
Doing 81 in a 45 is a doosie...let alone that the maximum speed limit on the interstate is in most states much lower...

[heatherny2]

The beach is only 15 - 20 minutes away...and I have called and checked to see what they are doing, and they were actually walking...I trust the friends he is with, as they are all responsible, and my son is also responsible...it is seriously a matter of allowing some independence, and also safety restrictions, yet the worry is always there...I don't want to restrict him from having fun with his friends, yet also want to keep him safe...I can't keep him in a shell....ugh..the worries....don't know how my parents made it through

[BelladonnaLily]

I understand wanting to give him independence, but that other kid's reckless driving ticket really does not reek of responsbility, no matter how well he "talked the talk" to you. I know plenty of 18yos that haven't gotten a ticket yet. Kids can make themselves appear responsible in the presence of adults VERY easily. I understand the need to show your child you trust him...but you can't replace him. He'll get over you saying "no" sometimes in order to keep him safe.

Good luck...I do understand.

[Amchara]

My mom had a rule where I couldn't ride with "young" drivers. Considering we live on an island that is 12 by 8 miles with no bridge though. I think it was more for maintaining control over me (she wouldn't bring me anywhere and played NO roll in me getting a driver's license) and less of safety though. My very few (two or three) friends who had cars were all law abiding drivers, as I found out when I broke her stupid rule :P.

I feel like you have every right to be concerned about that kid's driving, personally.