Anyone here been diagnosed bipolar or know anybody that has been?
Following is a long, pointless rant-no need to read.
I just received the diagnosis a few days ago and it scares me. It would explain much of my life (including the suicide attempts and the anti-depressants not working) but it's still scary. I just dropped out of college for the third time last week and I'm only 24. I wanted to go to grad school and had all these big plans for myself. Right now, I'm waiting to get evicted from my rental and wondering how I'm going to afford the meds without insurance. I'm not working because I panic any time I have to leave the house I'm so scared of people.
For anyone wondering, no, I'm not spending my money on a horse. The doctor asked at the last appointment what I would do if I was feeling better and the only thing I could think of was ride. I'd do horses again. I know I won't be able to do horses for years now I'm in such a hole financially and I've got this diagnosis that scares me and I'm just trying to figure out what the point of living is.
This evening I've been googling for a low price on xanax without a prescription, something I know is very stupid. I guess I'm just feeling desperate.
I'm sorry for the long rant. Any advice is welcome.
I don't have a lot of personal experience with bipolar, but here's what I do know--a) it's not an easy disorder to live with, but b) it can be managed, and it does not have to prevent you from living a full and happy life. But you will have to make a real commitment to your health and well-being, and to getting help when you need it.
Please, please, don't get Xanax without a prescription!! The #1 most important thing you need to do is find a good doctor to help you. Instead of Xanax, google for prescription assistance programs, and clinics nearby that can help you. I don't know where you are located, but there are many good programs that may be able to help you. Perhaps if you really are not finding anything, a doctor could help you find clinical trials where the cost of meds are covered.
Unfortunately for most people, this is not something that you can handle on your own, which is probably why you're having a lot of the problems you're facing right now. I'm sure it's hard if not impossible, but try to look at the bright side of getting a diagnosis--now you know that you need help from a qualified professional, and once you find a treatment program that works for you, you are probably going to find that you are better able to manage your life. And, I know that it probably doesn't seem this way right now, but you are just starting your life! No matter how bad it seems, you have plenty of time to get yourself together and go to as much school as you want. Many people aren't diagnosed until they are twice your age and have lived with these problems for much longer. I know it probably sucks right now, but this is your first step on the road to getting better.
And PS, if your doctor agrees that Xanax is what you need and writes you a prescription, the generic is VERY inexpensive at the pharmacy. My dog takes a large human dose of it, that I get filled at my regular pharmacy, with no insurance, for $6 for 30 days worth.
If you're 24, I believe under the new health care reform law, you can now (as of September) get back on your parents's health insurance until you're 26. Is that a possibilty? Do your parents have decent insurance? It sounds like decent health insurance and a GOOD doctor that YOU work well with would go a long way to relieving some stress and getting you on the right path.
Good luck, we're rooting for you out here in cyberspace!
A couple of close friends and a member of my immediate family have been diagnosed w/ bipolar, so although I do not have it myself I have seen firsthand how difficult it is and how much of an effect it has on a person's life. I know it's scary and overwhelming, but getting this diagnosis is the first step towards getting help and feeling better. It sounds like you've been struggling, but now you know why and can begin to move towards a better place.
My advice is, first of all, to find someone you trust who will be there for you through this, who you know will be patient with you, encourage you, and support you. That will make all the difference in the world (or at least it did in my friends' experiences). The times when you want to be alone are often the times when what you need most is to *not* be alone, so reach out to that person in those times. You've already gotten some good advice regarding insurance, doctors, meds, etc., so I'll simply second all of that. Finding the right med/dosage is sometimes tricky and can take some time, but a good doctor will help make it happen eventually. Just be sure to be totally honest with him/her about how you're feeling, and how the meds are working.
This diagnosis does not have to define or control you… work with a doctor and give it time. Self-medicating is dangerous and can lead down a very slippery slope. Remember that you're not alone, and remember that there is always hope!